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Absolutely heartbroken and furious

177 replies

calzone2018 · 27/07/2020 20:47

We had to put my cat to sleep around 2 hours ago. He was an old boy and he was clearly suffering, wasn't able to go to the toilet this morning so we guessed his body was shutting down but it was still a shock for it to be so sudden. I have had him since he was a kitten but the past few months he's lived with my mum and dad when I had my baby.
My dad phoned and made the appointment and I took him alone. When I got outside (with mask) they told me they had to do it indoors and there was no way I would be able to go in - I didn't know this as my MIL recently had her dog put to sleep but they did it in her car so I figured they would do something similar. I burst into tears at the thought of him being alone and scared but I handed him over and waited in the car. It was a young lad who took him and he was saying some really harsh things about what would be done, basically stuff I didn't want to think about. We've just gone to bury him and my dad asked how it went and I said I couldn't go in, only for him to tell me that the vet on the phone said I could go in and be with him as he passed. I'm so heartbroken and furious that this man said different when all I wanted was to be with my boy. I am so angry that people can go and get a takeaway and get their hair done but I couldn't be with him when he's been my whole world for the last 15 years. I got him when I was 7. I don't been know why I'm posting this, I guess to see if someone can help me to figure out what to do, I know they can't bring him back but I'm so beside myself that I could have been with him. I'm going to be calling in the morning ASAP to hopefully stop someone else going through this. I know this is nothing compared to what some people go through but I'm just so upset. Sorry it's so long.

OP posts:
Clumsyduck · 27/07/2020 20:50

I don’t really have much advice other than I would definitely call and try get to the bottom of what went on there because it sounds like conflicting information was given and like you say it might stop someone else having to go through the same confusion and additional stress !

But I just wanted to say I’m really sorry Flowers

Reallybadidea · 27/07/2020 20:52

I'm so sorry Flowers

Whatelsecouldibecalled · 27/07/2020 20:53

I’m so so sorry. How awful. It’s beyond a joke you weren’t allowed to be there. If you had a mask on (which you said you did) I can’t see why you can’t be allowed. I’m sorry this has happened to you. You’re absolutely right. It’s fine to queue up for 20 min together in primark but not to say goodbye to your beloved boy. Heartbreaking

Catspaw123 · 27/07/2020 20:54

Yes its disgusting. Our vets are doing what they can i.e treating in car if possible or yard but you're not allowed in the building

MorningManiacMusic · 27/07/2020 21:00

Oh bless you Flowers

calzone2018 · 27/07/2020 21:01

They didn't even give me the option of going in or staying in the car when he was sedated. The vet who came out basically said 'I'll bring him out when he's dead and you can do whatever you want with him.' I was wearing a mask and I had brought sanitizer with me if it was needed - I was so beside myself I didn't really get a chance to say goodbye as I thought I would do it when I got in and he was sedated, and my lovely boy was crying his head off so I didn't want to keep him in pain. I don't understand it, I just keep thinking how scared he must have been. I just want to go up there and scream at them for being so bad at communicating but I know that won't do anything but hurt me more.

OP posts:
cosmo30 · 27/07/2020 21:02

That's broke my heart reading that I really feel for you op, I hope you're okay ❤️

Clumsyduck · 27/07/2020 21:05

Yeh that’s really hard to read I am genuinely sorry that you have gone through this . I know it’s a difficult time at the moment but they sound completely lacking in compassion !! Angry

HighBrows · 27/07/2020 21:09

I'm so sorry for your loss. Your thread has really struck a cord with ne. You're right, people are more or less doing what they want and you couldn't be with your boy at the end. Unmumsnetty umhugs Flowers

damnthatanxiety · 27/07/2020 21:13

If the vet spoke like that then he is a shit vet. I would be detailing it in every review place I could find - Facebook for starters. Not actually making you better but they can't go around treating people like this. I am so sorry OP

marypoppinsreturns · 27/07/2020 21:16

I'm so sorry. I have two older cats and can only imagine how hard this was for you x

Danetobe · 27/07/2020 21:17

How heartbreaking, I’m so sorry 💐

calzone2018 · 27/07/2020 21:17

Hope this picture works. Thank you all so much for your sweet messages, it really means so much. When I was a teenager I was very depressed and knowing he was there was the reason I didn't do something silly to myself, knowing that he was there for me. I don't have anyone that I can really call a friend so I feel like a huge chunk of me has been ripped out. I know I'll be better in the future, it's just so raw and not being able to be there to soothe him as he passed has just really finished me off today.

Absolutely heartbroken and furious
OP posts:
SchadenfreudePersonified · 27/07/2020 21:18

I'm so sorry you and your poor, dear little cat have had this awful experience. Being with our pet to comfort them in their last moments is something we almost all want to do.

I agree - if we can go for a meal, stand in a shop - whatever, why can't we be with our much-loved animal companions when we have to let them go. It's very harsh.

Grandmi · 27/07/2020 21:18

That is so awful. I took my doggie to vet this week and went straight in with her . Cannot imagine being stopped from being with a pet when put to sleep. You need to complain. I am feeling so sad for you .💐

StrongTea · 27/07/2020 21:19

Really sad. We had to have our dog put to sleep a week ago. Was able to go in and be with her. Vets couldn’t have been nicer. Sounds like a miscommunication of some sort between the vets. Really sorry. If you don’t feel up to speaking to the vet, email your complaint.

MidnightHangingTree · 27/07/2020 21:20

That sounds so tough. My mum had her cat put to sleep recently and they sedated and then put her to sleep in the car so that my mum and sister could be with her. I would definitely raise it with the vets, hopefully it will prevent it happening to anyone else.

PhoebeSnow · 27/07/2020 21:20

I am sorry calzone , he is a lovely boy and he knew he was loved.

dyslek · 27/07/2020 21:20

God so sorry to read this.
I am fuming for you. Please do kick up as much fuss as you can, at least you can take away that you might have stopped someone else going through this.
Your poor little one is gone now and maybe you need to let go of the actual details of the last minutes and focus on the life you has together. Flowers

timeforawine · 27/07/2020 21:21

This has made me cry Sad I’m so sorry OP, that’s really bad that they didn’t let you in knowing full well what the outcome would be. I get not going in for check ups etc but not this.
Flowers

Nannewnannew · 27/07/2020 21:22

I’m sorry for the loss of your cat but I don’t understand why he was living with your parents because you had had a baby?

Silvercatowner · 27/07/2020 21:22

I'm so sorry, OP.

Flowers
StrangeAddiction · 27/07/2020 21:22

That sounds absolutely heartless and totally unprofessional of him. You should phone and complain, there's no excuse for using that language and tone with a grieving owner!

I had to have my lab pots at the end of March just as things were kicking off and I had to wait in the car with him and a nurse came out and took him in the building. I had to wait in the car and she phoned me to discuss our options, As hard as it was I knew putting him to sleep was for the best and o LG then was I allowed in. Ds1 (20) was with me but he had to wait in the car which was sad but I was with my beautiful boy went he went Sad

MrsVeryTired · 27/07/2020 21:23

Sorry for your loss, I felt that way about my old dog when I had him pts, he had been with me through some very tough times.

Agree to complain about the miscommunication.

But try to be aware he won't have known what was happening even though you did, so he wont have been upset that you weren't with him at the end, he didn't know it was the end and he had been well loved all his life Flowers

BookWitch · 27/07/2020 21:23

I'm so sorry OP.
My old girl (golden retriever) is in her final weeks. She is doing OK at the moment, but I know the end is weeks rather than months away. She is 15.
The thought of this happening is just heartbreaking.

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