Meet the Other Phone. Flexible and made to last.

Meet the Other Phone.
Flexible and made to last.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Covid

Mumsnet doesn't verify the qualifications of users. If you have medical concerns, please consult a healthcare professional.

Absolutely heartbroken and furious

177 replies

calzone2018 · 27/07/2020 20:47

We had to put my cat to sleep around 2 hours ago. He was an old boy and he was clearly suffering, wasn't able to go to the toilet this morning so we guessed his body was shutting down but it was still a shock for it to be so sudden. I have had him since he was a kitten but the past few months he's lived with my mum and dad when I had my baby.
My dad phoned and made the appointment and I took him alone. When I got outside (with mask) they told me they had to do it indoors and there was no way I would be able to go in - I didn't know this as my MIL recently had her dog put to sleep but they did it in her car so I figured they would do something similar. I burst into tears at the thought of him being alone and scared but I handed him over and waited in the car. It was a young lad who took him and he was saying some really harsh things about what would be done, basically stuff I didn't want to think about. We've just gone to bury him and my dad asked how it went and I said I couldn't go in, only for him to tell me that the vet on the phone said I could go in and be with him as he passed. I'm so heartbroken and furious that this man said different when all I wanted was to be with my boy. I am so angry that people can go and get a takeaway and get their hair done but I couldn't be with him when he's been my whole world for the last 15 years. I got him when I was 7. I don't been know why I'm posting this, I guess to see if someone can help me to figure out what to do, I know they can't bring him back but I'm so beside myself that I could have been with him. I'm going to be calling in the morning ASAP to hopefully stop someone else going through this. I know this is nothing compared to what some people go through but I'm just so upset. Sorry it's so long.

OP posts:
Sinter · 28/07/2020 00:11

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

cantstopsinginglittlebabybum · 28/07/2020 00:11

I'm so so sorry op about your cat and the negative experience you had with the vet.

cantstopsinginglittlebabybum · 28/07/2020 00:13

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

Sinter · 28/07/2020 00:13

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

Sinter · 28/07/2020 00:13

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

contrary13 · 28/07/2020 00:13

MY ignorance shining through?! Okay. I have first hand knowledge of farming. Do you? I also understand, precisely, what the meat industry entails. Do you? Or do you presume that Halal is how all animals die? 'Cause it's actually not...

A pig is one of the most intelligent creatures on the face of the planet - yet can, and will, eat an entire human body if left to it. Cows are rumoured to be placid, and easy-going... yet are responsible for more human deaths a year, not to mention the damage to the climate/environment by their methane gas escapage.

My ex is a shepherd. He is also recovering from broken ribs from where one of his ewes took exception to him looking at - that's looking at, mind, not touching, simply looking at - her no longer newborn lamb a few weeks ago. They're feisty creatures, who also object to being shorn (which is necessary for their own health, actually, not just something that farmers do for their own coffers!) and definitely object to being herded at times. I won't tell you about the lambs he lost when their own mothers trampled them in order to get to their feed station. Because you're blatantly in some weird little mind-set that all cows, pigs and sheep love their young and loathe us for... what? Exploiting them? Do you actually grasp husbandry at all?!

I'll refrain from telling you about my god-daughter who rears her own pig for sausages each year - names it, loves it, slaughters it. Because she's a farmer's daughter. It's not that she doesn't have empathy for the pig - simply that she's expected to take over one day. And she will. And she'll be excellent.

Oh, and I spent the vast portion of 3 years with a rooster crooning in my ear, because he'd fallen in love with me, so I "get" chickens, too. Have my own flock. Rabbits, too.

But I also have a cat and a dog whom I know, if I were to die, and no one found me... would eat me. Doesn't mean they don't care for me - simply that they're animals.

So, as for ignorance - how about this: YOU have made an awful lot of assumptions about most of us upon this thread, derailing it from the OP's shock that her much-loved cat had to be euthanised. YOU are the ignorant one, be you male, female, or simply a militant vegan. We get it. You don't eat meat. Brava! Well done, you! However, all those pigs and cows you're bleating on about saving, and how they ought to be cherished? Believe me - they'd kill you in a heartbeat, and not think twice about it. Pigs would also consume you. Completely. Bones, too.

Please go milk an almond, eh? I'm sure you'll feel a lot happier when you have some protein in your system. But apart from that, why don't you keep your weird assumptions about those of us who have empathy for a woman who is grieving the loss of her family's cat, to yourself? Y'know, shut away inside that empty shell of a militant brain of yours, as opposed to leaping out onto the 'net. Then I dare say we'll all be happier.

(OP, I am so sorry!)

FridaKFangirl · 28/07/2020 00:15

I'm so sorry @calzone2018. We lost our gorgeous girl 10 days ago. It is devastating, especially when/if you can't be with them. I'm sending so much love x Flowers

cantstopsinginglittlebabybum · 28/07/2020 00:16

@Sinter 😂😂😂

TimeWastingButFun · 28/07/2020 00:18

Pigs would also consume you. Completely. Bones, too.
Put me down for a yes please on that one 😀
Sorry you had such a deluded idiot hijack your thread. Most of us are sane and really understand and feel for you, you've had a horrible time Thanks

Sinter · 28/07/2020 00:19

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

Fawnandwren · 28/07/2020 00:20

😭❤️ So sorry for your loss x

Sinter · 28/07/2020 00:22

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

SengaStrawberry · 28/07/2020 00:22

Aw no, I’m so sorry x

I don’t know what to say other that I am sure he passed knowing how much you love him xxx

Enough4me · 28/07/2020 00:26

Better to stop engaging with the nutter & just report her/his posts.

OP, best wishes & I can empathise as I have guilt that my exH took our cat to the vet and he was pts exH didn't stay. I didn't know he was so ill, he was all alone. I arranged to collect his ashes and DC & I buried them under a young tree and said our goodbyes. We remember the things our lovely boy liked now (and I'm free from unfeeling exH).

TimeWastingButFun · 28/07/2020 00:27

I've just seen the photo, what a gorgeous cat. He looks very content in the photo. What matters is all the time you had with him, and how secure and happy he must have been his whole life - do try to focus on that rather than the last minutes. The vet will have been very gentle.

Sinter · 28/07/2020 00:29

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

Sinter · 28/07/2020 00:30

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

Bowerbird5 · 28/07/2020 00:31

I am so sorry for you.

My DD left her beloved cat with us while she went travelling. She is stuck in NZ ( I can think of a lot of worse places to be) and her cat started to become ill we had several trips to the vet and medication which meant her last months were happy and peaceful and we spoilt her too. One more we got up and DH said you better come and see to the cat. She was in her basket asleep but he said she wasn’t right. I came over as she woke and she looked at me and had the most pitiful cry it was awful. I offered her food but she didn’t want it. I took her out of her basket and she couldn’t stand she just fell over. It was like she had a stroke or something. We rang the vet as she continued with the pitiful meow. It was like she was pleading with us. I rang the vet and she said bring her straight away and she could see her.
We did the distancing as before and she took her then came back out said she was a little better after oxygen but she thought we were right and she was near the end. She said I could go in but I said “ It’s not fair on you though and I chose not to go.” How I wish I had now. I knew this little lass will have been kind to her but I wish now I had had more time to think and that I didn’t want the cat to suffer. She was the sweetest little cat and we reckon she was about 20 -21 years. We took her home and buried her in the garden and we made a little garden where she lays. I am upset just typing this. The awful bit was telling DD and she was cross because we didn’t wait and let her know first then I felt maybe we should have but I did what was best for the cat.

If he actually said it like that I think it would be alright to write a note saying you had been told you could go in and how he handled it and that you felt he could have been more sensitive to your needs. It might help you but it might even make it better for someone else in future.

I am so sorry it is so hard when we lose a pet. He was such a beautiful boy. My daughter’s cat was grey and white. We planted the little garden with white flowers and some grey green foliage. Could you make a little garden ? You can get black petunias and black tulips.

Sinter · 28/07/2020 00:31

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

kylesmybaby · 28/07/2020 01:04

OP just wanted to share this pic. It's actually from a video of my neighbours rescue cat coming in and drinking from our taps. His name was Jack and he pretty much moved himself in. He got the love and attention he deserved from us. He would suck the end of his tail to go to sleep and it was always soaking wet.

I saw an advert for a cat needed for a Murder reconstruction of a very sad case I had followed of Joanna Yeates. Her cat Bernard was identical to Jack. I took Jack along and he had the most wonderful day filmingi and he done everything he should. Being constantly held by different people he didn't know.

They paid him £100 instead of the £50 agreed. They said he made the shoot so easy and they had been dreading it. It kept him in treats for a long while afterwards.

Not sure why I'm telling you but hope the resemblance made you smile.

Absolutely heartbroken and furious
Absolutely heartbroken and furious
LordOftheRingz · 28/07/2020 01:12

These vets need to get a grip, people are going the dentist, the eye tests, the hairdressers, for flips sake, this is just terrible. Just wear a mask and visor. sheesh.

Durgasarrow · 28/07/2020 01:24

OP, I know this is a hard moment, but remember that you gave your pet a good life--in the long run, that is what matters. Not one day, but all the days.

celebgoss101 · 28/07/2020 01:31

So sorry to hear this.

I had to hand over my cat at the door to be put to sleep a couple of months ago and it was traumatising.

Me and my partner had to stand in the carpark and decide if it was time. She was terminally ill and I can now see it was the right time but it was awful making the decision and then handing her over. The vets were kind which helped.

I did have an issue previously with another cat I had who was in the hospital and I was messed around so much, promised calls that never happened etc. Finally I got a vet on the phone who told me that unfortunately she had kidney disease. I blew my top at that point as she was diagnosed with that 2 years previous and was the not the reason she was in hospital.

I complained to the practice manager and he called me and we spoke for maybe 45 minutes about how they could have dealt with things better such as not being barked at by one receptionist and another receptionist telling me I couldn't have copies of my cats blood results which was untrue and I had to really insist - she did do it but sighed a lot.

Since then they did change a few procedures in terms of handing over from night vet to day vet and the rude receptionist left a few weeks later. Also my usual vet who is lovely anyway was extra lovely about the best vets to deal with if she wasn't there.

So yes put in a complaint and ensure you speak to the practice manager.

Icepinkeskimo · 28/07/2020 01:33

OP, I just read your post, and just wanted to send my condolences. I feel heartbroken for you, some people are defiantly in the wrong job, you needed compassion and kindness at the saddest of times. I have to say I would be ringing to speak with the head vet. We cannot change what has happened but it may stop some other heartbroken person going through the same ordeal.

Again my deepest condolences, and your photo of him is beautiful such a lovely lad.

Xx

Topseyt · 28/07/2020 01:57

Oh OP, I am so sorry to hear of your loss. What a beautiful cat he was, and very loved by all of his family.

I think that the way you were treated when you arrived at the vet surgery was appalling. I've had to take my elderly spaniel to the vet twice during lockdown. I wore my mask. Our vet is allowing one person at a time into the consulting room for the treatment and advice. I am sure it would be similar if a pet needed to be put to sleep. I don't see why not.

I would certainly complain about your treatment and emphasise how dreadful it made you feel. Having to say goodbye to a much loved pet is very hard anyway but sympathetic treatment from the vet can make all the difference to how you cope with it.

I had to say goodbye to my cat two and a half years ago and to my elderly labrador boy last November. Both very painful experiences but the vets on both occasions were very kind and that did help enormously.

If you say something now then it might help stop someone else from being put through a similar experience.

Please create an account

To comment on this thread you need to create a Mumsnet account.

This thread is closed and is no longer accepting replies. Click here to start a new thread.

Swipe left for the next trending thread