Am I OTT or do other people just not care?!

[Lou0808]

Tonight on social media, I've seen several posts from "friends" (and by friends I mean Facebook friends, people from school who I've not actually seen or spoken to in a long time) who are having parties with absolutely zero social distancing.

One particular person has posted videos of people in her house, easily 20 people.
All doing karaoke, drinking shots, dancing.

Another post from a separate person is a picture being in a pub hugging three girls captioned "missed my besties"

A work colleague posted a picture of her young niece saying she's staying over at her house, again hugging her.

I don't mean to sound like the "fun" police. I know we've all desperately missed our friends and families, but the situation is never going to improve unless we follow the guidelines.

I have a 4 month old DD and I've love nothing more than for her to have a cuddle with my mum and her other grandparents, but I just wouldn't allow it.

I desperately miss my friends, I'd love to have them over and hug them, but I wouldn't do it.

Am I being over the top? Am I right for feeling pissed off at people just not following the rules?

I just feel like it's going to drag things out even longer if people just do as they please 😔

We'll have a nice roast and a few drinks. But many Mumsnetters, according to other threads, think this is outrageous behaviour and that everyone going to pubs do so to get falling down drunk and are unable to social distance

I'd consider that more like going to a restaurant than a pub though.

There's nothing wrong with going to a reasonably quiet pub and having a few drinks while adhering to the guidelines. Going into town centre for pub crawls (or trendy areas in London) on a Saturday night, however, is reckless. And it was reckless of the government to open pubs on a Saturday and they were lucky the weather was so shit.

I’ve been sticking by the rules but I am really so past caring about all this crap now and couldn’t care less what other people do. I can’t control them so I don’t waste the head space on it. And even if it does cause an increase, we can hardly stay locked down forever. People have done enough, the government need to just get on with it now.

This I think sums up a lot of people's attitude. It is illogical, childish and unscientific but perhaps understandable after months of lockdown. People have just had enough and will now believe what suits them and do what suits them.

@annabel85

We'll have a nice roast and a few drinks. But many Mumsnetters, according to other threads, think this is outrageous behaviour and that everyone going to pubs do so to get falling down drunk and are unable to social distance

I'd consider that more like going to a restaurant than a pub though.

There's nothing wrong with going to a reasonably quiet pub and having a few drinks while adhering to the guidelines. Going into town centre for pub crawls (or trendy areas in London) on a Saturday night, however, is reckless. And it was reckless of the government to open pubs on a Saturday and they were lucky the weather was so shit.

Going out on a Saturday is...um normal? Ffs get a grip

I think that if you have all been socially distancing, furloughed or working from home, then you’re being a bit OTT and I would let your DD have a cuddle with family. I’m teaching full time and the only one in my family still working. If I wasn’t, I probably would have hugged my mum and dad by now, but as it is I can’t risk it.

Exactly @MulierLite. I’m following the rules still but meh. I can’t worry about or control what other people do. I’m just staying home as much as I can, washing my hands, keeping my distance etc. Lucky me to be able to do so as I’m already one of the redundancy stats.

What amazes me is how would you feel if you knew you were skirting the social distancing rules or taking the piss and you caught Coronavirus. Maybe you would get a small dose of it and be lucky but it is proven that a person who picks it up often then passes it on in a much higher dose to the next person. So, you could have a mild case, pass it on to your granny and your sisters newborn and they would die. How would you feel about that?

Not you though Enlightened as you clearly lack the empathy gene.

@PermanentCobOn

What amazes me is how would you feel if you knew you were skirting the social distancing rules or taking the piss and you caught Coronavirus. Maybe you would get a small dose of it and be lucky but it is proven that a person who picks it up often then passes it on in a much higher dose to the next person. So, you could have a mild case, pass it on to your granny and your sisters newborn and they would die. How would you feel about that?

Not you though Enlightened as you clearly lack the empathy gene.

Im fairly sure I had it in February. No one died. Calm dow the Corona hysteria

[quote SqidgeBum]@EnlightenedOwl I have relatives who work in hospitals, A&E specifically, and they did tell me about 6weeks ago that if a patient had, for example, end stage cancer, but died in hospital and was covid 19 positive, their cause of death would be deemed covid 19. It's the same as pneumonia. Many people officially die of pneumonia, but they may have had other fatal conditions that led to them getting pneumonia.[/quote]
Yes. My best friends sister in law just died from cancer. She was end of life and had been told she had 3 weeks left. She contracted covid on the hospice in this time and her death certificate says covid. I am not of the mind set that this is the norm like some people think, but it does make you wonder how many times it has happened.

There was a case in the Western Isles where someone’s cause of death was listed as Covid and then it had to be changed when the test results came back and they hadn’t had it.

metro.co.uk/2020/07/02/grandparents-scotland-can-finally-hug-grandkids-friday-12937828/

@FizzFan

There was a case in the Western Isles where someone’s cause of death was listed as Covid and then it had to be changed when the test results came back and they hadn’t had it.

I think definitely this is why you can't take figures at face value but when dealing with a fear ridden country they are not going to see that

I'm pregnant so sticking to the rules. I just annoys me that I can't even pop to the shop anymore as I have people walking right into me without a care in the world. I wish people would be considerate when they're out and about.

Lots of deaths have been classed as Covid, it's ridiculous, hence the irrational fear of it. People that are vulnerable need to take precautions and let the rest of us get on with our lives. Come October houses will start to be repossessed, jobs will be lost, homelessness will obviously rise as will suicides. I can't believe the amount of people that want to stay in lock down. Are they loaded with thousands in the bank? Or the opposite and living off benefits and nothings changed for them. All the poor sods with mortgages to pay and job loses will be fucked after their mortgage breaks if they've lost their jobs.

I know it is absolutely imperative that the economy can recover but so much depends on individuals' sensible judgement. I think the government are right to allow that, I'm no fan of the nanny state's "rules" rather than "guidance". Most people will be sensible and some won't. Those out having fun tend not to be vulnerable, so hopefully they'll contribute to the herd immunity and manage to avoid contact with vulnerable people.

Letting grandparents hug my kids who have been in school is a risk. It's still one I have agreed to because they wanted it. We avoid all shops and get deliveries and see no friends, so that's how I try to delineate between necessary and unnecessary risks.

If you are being really careful and your mum is being really careful then whats wrong with a hug?

The actual number of people with the virus is extremely low now and perhaps you are therefore being over the top. These people are living their lives whilst you are watching them on social media feeling annoyed that you have chosen not to let your mum hug your child...that's down to you. Stop letting the virus/the state dictate to you what you can and cannot do without reason and risk assess for yourself.

Op I don’t think you’re being OTT because you have a 4 month old baby.
But I do think you sound fearful (which is understandable if you watch/read media reports).
I was fearful at the start due to those awful news reports from Italy where they were wheeling numerous bodies out of hospitals and care homes but quite honestly after having all these weeks to learn more about it and to go slowly mad in lockdown I’m now more fearful for the mental health of my family. And I speak as a mother of a child with a transplant.
This is the most unnatural way to live! We need social interaction and to not be in the same four walls with the same 5 people day in day out. All because a virus that can kill, like many of the other viruses we live with all the time, is ‘lurking’.
Yes it’s awful that those people have died but we have to learn to live with this one like we have learned to live with many others.
You are literally surrounded by viruses and other risks every day of your life.
My children are starting to get affected mentally by lockdown so whilst we won’t be throwing parties we have started meeting friends outdoors and going into our parents homes for tea and sandwiches and love.
I’m shocked actually by how fast our mental health has deteriorated and I refuse to allow it anymore.

@BusterGonad

Lots of deaths have been classed as Covid, it's ridiculous, hence the irrational fear of it. People that are vulnerable need to take precautions and let the rest of us get on with our lives. Come October houses will start to be repossessed, jobs will be lost, homelessness will obviously rise as will suicides. I can't believe the amount of people that want to stay in lock down. Are they loaded with thousands in the bank? Or the opposite and living off benefits and nothings changed for them. All the poor sods with mortgages to pay and job loses will be fucked after their mortgage breaks if they've lost their jobs.

I wonder if they are cushioned with furlough money. The reality may hit soon if so as the redundancy consultations have started. And what happens if furlough ends and they won't go back to work because of coronavirus fear

@Orangeblossom78

Why don't people try and support the vulnerable rather than judge and criticise others if they want to do something useful?

Maybe that would be a better use of time, perhaps. I'm helping an 80 something lady get her shopping in. We need to support people who are vulnerable rather than preaching on at the healthy people going out.

Completely agree with you. There is enough information and data out there now for people to be able to judge their own level of risk. We did not have this information at the start which made things scary. I am lucky enough at the age of 32 to still have 3 of my grandparents. That of course now means we have 3 very vulnerable people in their 80s with very complex medical issues in the family who we all are trying to protect.

Also someone on a previous page, sorry didnt catch the name, advised that the OPs 4 month babys immune system would not be able to handle covid. I have a 9 week baby and did an awful amount of worrying about her before she was born... To the point I abandoned decorating her nursery because I was convinced she would get covid and die. I have been reassured by so many midwives and doctors that babies do pretty well with covid and usually have cold symptoms if any at all. Of course there are exceptions and some babies will become very ill, like they would with flu or RSV...but this does not seem to be the norm with covid. Having seen my son in hospital for a week on oxygen with RSV at 9 weeks old I worry more about this... Which also hospitalises 30,000 under 4s a year. Of course I am still taking extra precautions with my daughter but I now let grandparents hold her. I just think it is a little unfair to suggest a baby will not cope. Sorry for the long post.

Or as you say cushioned by a benefits lifestyle

You say your DH's mum has been quite reckless because she has her daughter and her friend over. You sound very judgy and an handwringer.

Stop judging others and you do what you feel ok with. Calling people entitled because they are putting money back into the economy and going out as they are 'allowed' to do so.

People like you would have the country lockdowned until there is not one single case of the virus in 67 million people - seriously do your own thing and stop looking at facebook and moaning about others.

Your being OTT. The SD guidance isn’t going to end covid, it will just drag out this whole ordeal. Anyone who is at material risk should take responsibility for their own health and shield, everyone else has no good reason to observe social distancing beyond the risk that some people will refuse to shield.

OP if you have facebook there is a group called the Covid 19 baby parents group. I have found it hugely reassuring and helpful. There are a few mams who have given birth covid positive and their newborns have been just fine. Also a few mams where their under 1s have caught it and they have been fine too! It is a great group.

@ResumetonormalASAP

You say your DH's mum has been quite reckless because she has her daughter and her friend over. You sound very judgy and an handwringer.

Stop judging others and you do what you feel ok with. Calling people entitled because they are putting money back into the economy and going out as they are 'allowed' to do so.

People like you would have the country lockdowned until there is not one single case of the virus in 67 million people - seriously do your own thing and stop looking at facebook and moaning about others.

Love your username OP. Well said btw

@ResumetonormalASAP

You say your DH's mum has been quite reckless because she has her daughter and her friend over. You sound very judgy and an handwringer.

Stop judging others and you do what you feel ok with. Calling people entitled because they are putting money back into the economy and going out as they are 'allowed' to do so.

People like you would have the country lockdowned until there is not one single case of the virus in 67 million people - seriously do your own thing and stop looking at facebook and moaning about others.

I am not judgey!

4 months ago extremely vulnerable people were told to shield. She was one of them.

Wasn't this so that the NHS didn't come over run with sick people?

She went against this advice and had people in her house from the start.

I'm not judging her at all, just stating that what she did, IMO was pretty irresponsible given it was against what she'd been advised to do.