Am I OTT or do other people just not care?!

[Lou0808]

Tonight on social media, I've seen several posts from "friends" (and by friends I mean Facebook friends, people from school who I've not actually seen or spoken to in a long time) who are having parties with absolutely zero social distancing.

One particular person has posted videos of people in her house, easily 20 people.
All doing karaoke, drinking shots, dancing.

Another post from a separate person is a picture being in a pub hugging three girls captioned "missed my besties"

A work colleague posted a picture of her young niece saying she's staying over at her house, again hugging her.

I don't mean to sound like the "fun" police. I know we've all desperately missed our friends and families, but the situation is never going to improve unless we follow the guidelines.

I have a 4 month old DD and I've love nothing more than for her to have a cuddle with my mum and her other grandparents, but I just wouldn't allow it.

I desperately miss my friends, I'd love to have them over and hug them, but I wouldn't do it.

Am I being over the top? Am I right for feeling pissed off at people just not following the rules?

I just feel like it's going to drag things out even longer if people just do as they please 😔

Sure, but unless they lack capacity then the sick and vulnerable can also protect themselves, they can socially distance, stay home, wear ppe etc

As a “clinically vulnerable” teacher I will not be able to do any of those things.

Schools are going back in September with no social distancing or other protective measures, on the basis that if the rest of society is really careful the risk will be acceptably low. Everyone needs to play their part in this.

You're being sensible. If we head into another lock down the repercussions will be worse.

@Bluntness100

A few children contract the virus from your child, now the whole year group is off school, including vulnerable children. How is this fair?

Let’s face it, this is hugely unlikely.

I don’t understand what’s unlikely.

• a child contracting the virus from another? It happens.
• a year group being sent home for two weeks if multiple children have the virus? Government policy

@annabel85 not sure the poster literally thinks the party goers are suffering from the economic downturn but think logically about the complete state the economy is in. Just think about this tiny tiny part of it: we went into lockdown to protect the NHS from being overwhelmed, we did that, they managed not to be. The NHS is funded by the tax payer. Businesses and people pay tax through their earnings. One of the largest business sectors in the country are pubs and bars, alcohol is a big tax earner. They've been shut for 3 months, their employees have been paid via the furlough scheme, thus no tax. Therefore the NHS hasn't gained as a result of those earnings. We need to protect the economy to protect the NHS now. If you were so keen to stay inside for them, then think about how people need to spend for them and businesses need to stay open for them.

YANBU.

I'm in Scotland, and looking at the pictures from last night, England is a bit scary. Are people just thinking the virus is gone?

And also - please don't come here on holiday if you're not capable of following basic social distancing.

@Bluntness100

A few children contract the virus from your child, now the whole year group is off school, including vulnerable children. How is this fair?

Let’s face it, this is hugely unlikely.

That is reasonably likely though isn’t it? As if there is are two positive cases confirmed in a bubble the whole bubble has to self isolate?

I would like the schools to open in September, if things carry on as they are I can't see that happening!!

The R number will begin to rise and all bets are off.

So we are going out, having fun, going to quieter beaches, socially distanced get togethers are always outside.
I am not putting us at risk or anyone else, equally it is high time we got our lives back in some shape or form. So yes definitely enjoying life again, shopping and feeling better but not in a way that puts anyone at risk. I am okay with it, but I am concerned when I see so many partying like is 2019. I feel we are going to learn the hard way with this!! Sorry but that is my instinct.

We still need to be sensible and responsible.

@Drivingdownthe101

I think people saying it’s nothing to do with you mean that there’s nothing you can do about it. Yeah you’re entitled to feel concerned, or angry or whatever it is you feel, but you can’t change what people are doing so it’s basically just wasted emotion.

This.

As much as I want my children to get back to school in September, gnashing my teeth and raising my blood pressure about groups getting together thoughtlessly and fretting about the impact on my children getting back to school just over two months away is not going to make a jot of difference to the situation, and will only make me feel crap.

I'll just make sure that I live my life well. Avoiding the high risks and thinking critically over the minute risks compared to the benefits. The riskiest thing I do each week is going to the supermarket. 2 brief hugs in nearly 4 months and a couple of premature visits to permanently quiet playgrounds do not a pandemic make (and it hasn't even been at epidemic levels in the UK for a month!)

I think we all decide what best for us. I haven't seen friends except for in the park or in a garden, all SD, but I do let my inlaws hug my daughter. I saw my sister for the first time since january last week and I hugged her. It's just about what you are comfortable with, but there is a difference between what you are ok with and what the "guidance" says. For me, the guidance has all been about money. Pubs are ok, going to work is ok, but hugging you mom isn't? It didnt sit with me, so I did what Borisnsaid and used my common sense. If you think your daughter hugging your family is a genuine risk, then dont do it, but if it's just because the guidance says you shouldn't, maybe think 'is that logical looking at the rest of the guidance'?

Why don't people try and support the vulnerable rather than judge and criticise others if they want to do something useful?

Maybe that would be a better use of time, perhaps. I'm helping an 80 something lady get her shopping in. We need to support people who are vulnerable rather than preaching on at the healthy people going out.

You’re not being OTT, you’re following the guidelines and so am I for what it’s worth. I’ve not seen my family since February but seeing them in the next few weeks now we can enter another’s home.

The guidelines themselves, however, I think are OTT. I know I’m in the minority but I do think letting people build up antibodies in the hope they are long lasting might be an idea. I even say that having lost two (auntie and grandmother so close family) and at a higher risk myself (not shielding level thankfully). Not keen on the pubs reopening for example but maybe more workplaces getting staff back in and closer contact with immediate low risk (lower chance of being very poorly from the virus) family is a good start.

@annabel85

It is about them, that's the problem. People who flout the rules don't give a shit about anyone but themselves.

And here's the problem. This is what we've become.

I just think we've all had to make sacrifices for the last 4 months, and it all feels for nothing if people are now living as if things are back to "normal", when we all know it's not!!

I went to Tesco on Friday and noticed some of the barriers had been removed but thought nothing of it and got in the queue to pay. A member of staff came along and told us there is no longer a main queue to pay, you queue up behind the till you want but keep 2 metres apart. So there's zero chance of social distancing as you have to pass close to people to get into the queue and people shopping have to pass close to you as well. You might as well not bother, at least before there was some semblance of trying to keep our distance.

Yes you're being over the top, especially not letting your baby be cuddled by other family members.

Yes you're being over the top, especially not letting your baby be cuddled by other family members.

annabel85

That's an unrealistic and extreme idea. I was always going to be anxious about the first opening up of society whenever it happened. We could stay locked down for a full year and I'd still worry about venturing back into society again.

The lockdown had to end at some point and yes there will absolutely be a resurgence in covid cases. There is no scenario where we'll be 100% insulated from exposure.

Apart from a few large gatherings in the large city centres I suspect everything went off quite smoothly. I very much doubt we’ll see a spike in a fortnight or so.

maybe more workplaces getting staff back in and closer contact with immediate low risk (lower chance of being very poorly from the virus) family is a good start.

And yet AGAIN...it's not about deeming YOURSELF and your immediate group to be low risk, it's about spreading it to people who aren't low risk. For example when someone from that low risk gathering then visits an elderly parent. Surely this is simple enough to work out?

Well lots of people are now not bothering with SD. And yes, it is a selfish to get drunk and hugs lots of people, but it exactly what the government want: pubs etcI open and herd immunity.

But I also think you are being OTT not letting grandparents hold your baby. If you all are very careful and have minimum contact with the outside world, then I think a holding a grandchild would be reasonably safe and hugely beneficial to most peoples mental health.

But your baby is your responsibility and it you don't want anyone to hold them for what ever reason, that's totally up to you.

If we all follow guidelines there will still be people using public transport, going into school, using a shop and then going home to hold their baby sibling.

I'm painfully on the fence. I've been in the workplace at least two days a week, continued supermarket shopping, and have visited some non-essential shops since they've opened, so I've not been bunkered up at home, terrified.

However I've just been invited to a birthday meal at a pub involving at least 4 different household, in a place where it's usually rammed, and I've declined. The government's advice has been shamefully woolly, and my reading of things is that these are exactly the kind of settings (talking for a long time to lots of people, in close proximity, indoors) that are the most risky. I'm politely declining this one, and I'm happy to let the unbothered folk road-test things for me for the next 2-3 weeks when I'll reassess given any changes (or not) in the infection rates.

It's probably worth adding that I live in one of the worse affected areas of the country, and might feel differently if things were different locally.

You are right to feel peeved about the lack of social distancing but equally just have to accept that you cannot control other peoples' behaviour. You can only control what you do and what you are comfortable with. Our family isn't high risk but the people that DH comes into contact with at work (or will do once they are happy to come out from shielding) is a huge factor in what we decide we can/can't do - and all staff at work have been told the same - it's not about them. So although our local was opening yesterday we didn't go. Not because they wouldn't have the appropriate measures in place but because we knew that certain individuals would be there who have consistently flouted lockdown rules and couldn't be trusted to keep away once they'd had a few too many
We are still putting money into the local economy and supporting mainly independent traders but we go where it is quiet and safe. We will probably support our local over the coming week by popping in on a quiet night and having a drink or two outside when we know the Covidiots aren't there - and if they turn up, we leave. We are close enough to the bar to see some of what was happening yesterday and also hear it - the noise levels when I was in the garden at 9.30pm last night confirmed exactly what we had suspected.
If it's any consolation OP, most of the people I know didn't set foot out of the house last night and any that did went to places where there were strict table booking arrangements and social distancing measures in place. No parties on my FB newsfeed today. The majority are sticking to the rules - no one posts photos of that on Social Media.

"Well lots of people are now not bothering with SD"

Which is a bit shit for those who are currently shielding, because if that's gone by the by already, what in earth will it be like when we are advised it is safe to go about more generally in 4 weeks time, but must maintain strict 2m?

It's keeping us (mainly) in by the back door, isn't it?

Bugger

I suspect that the majority of people hitting the town ASAP are highly unlikely to have been at home, sitting twiddling their thumbs at a safe distance for nearly 4 months. They are highly likely to have been the people that went OTT and forgot the "social distancing" part of the VE day street parties, or the people who "flocked" to the beaches and beauty spots (leaving their beer cans and disposable BBQs behind with scorch marks) and had a few too nany people over for BBQs housepartiesall along.

The government and SAGE know the rates of complience and inevitable non-complience. That's factored into the measures. They were astonished at how compliant the population was early on.

People whose idea of a good time is rushing into city pubs, getting bladdered and to hell with the consequences are highly likely to be the same people that the media and public have been frothing over every time there's been a relaxation and some prats go a too far.

This is good news for the litter on the beaches and beauty spots and puts the biggest idiots back into the city centres where they can be policed and tidied up after far more easily.
That doesn't mean I approve. I'm just not wasting my energy on being upset by the inevitable.

If people followed rules the levels in the community will fall.

I'm shielding as extremely vulnerable and have to go back to work with the public on 1st August or lose my job.

I'd rather we had fewer, not more cases by then.

I'm sure people on here will think I'm OTT, hysterical, panicked etc.

They say I should just stay in and let everyone else break the rules.

I think I'm quite rational.

If you met me you'd think I was healthy. I walked up a hill yesterday for example.

I had 3 letters telling me how serious the virus is for me.

That's hard to forget. I have 4dc and wouldn't mind being around to see them grow up. Or see my mum again.

I look at the virus figures for the U.K. and feel so sad.

The US has Trump and the highest number of people dying from Covid-19 and the U.K. has Bozo the clown and the highest numbers of people dying from Covid-19 in Europe.

It appears the common sense has left the building in these two countries and been replaced by the characters from Animal Farm.