Am I OTT or do other people just not care?!

[Lou0808]

Tonight on social media, I've seen several posts from "friends" (and by friends I mean Facebook friends, people from school who I've not actually seen or spoken to in a long time) who are having parties with absolutely zero social distancing.

One particular person has posted videos of people in her house, easily 20 people.
All doing karaoke, drinking shots, dancing.

Another post from a separate person is a picture being in a pub hugging three girls captioned "missed my besties"


A work colleague posted a picture of her young niece saying she's staying over at her house, again hugging her.

I don't mean to sound like the "fun" police. I know we've all desperately missed our friends and families, but the situation is never going to improve unless we follow the guidelines.


I have a 4 month old DD and I've love nothing more than for her to have a cuddle with my mum and her other grandparents, but I just wouldn't allow it.

I desperately miss my friends, I'd love to have them over and hug them, but I wouldn't do it.

Am I being over the top? Am I right for feeling pissed off at people just not following the rules?

I just feel like it's going to drag things out even longer if people just do as they please 😔

[NCTDN]

I'm fascinated by how many on here say you are being ott! I totally agree with you. I think another lockdown is inevitable if people carry on like this 
@dancinfeet I guess you own a dance school? I can't believe that they are not allowed to open yet, even in very small, socially distanced groups, yet the public can go to pubs and play in arcades touching screens and buttons and goodness knows how many people touch all those coins

[Redolent]

@Bluntness100

the healthy have a responsibility to protect the sick and vulnerable

Sure, but unless they lack capacity then the sick and vulnerable can also protect themselves, they can socially distance, stay home, wear ppe etc so they can negate any risk to themselves.

As long as those not socially distancing are under 65 with no underlying health conditions then the risk to them is beyond miniscule, and if they socially disctance from anyone sick or vulnerable and those who are sick and vulnerable take personal responsibility and socially distance etc, then the risk to society is seriously tiny

So what if you’re under 65 and healthy, throw a party and send your child into school. A few children contract the virus from your child, now the whole year group is off school, including vulnerable children. How is this fair?

[Lou0808]

The whole point of social distancing is that it isn’t about the individual, it’s a collective responsibility to protect wider society and as with the NHS, the healthy have a responsibility to protect the sick and vulnerable. Unless you’re a wealthy Tory tosser, then it’s all about me me me and I’m alright jack.

@greytminds this is my point exactly!!

[TypingoftheDead]

I don’t think you’re OTT at all, anyone saying you are seems to have somehow missed the fact some places have had to go back into lockdown, probably mostly thanks to those people who didn’t/don’t bother to take any precautions.
I’m not against anyone trying to live a normal life again, because we do need to learn to live with it - but like you I’m frustrated by people’s lack of consideration and care. The experts don’t even know everything about the virus yet, particularly whether you get immunity or how long it might last if you do.

[secretllama]

I'd like to know from the people who believe in restrictions and lockdown, how long they are willing to live their lives this way, not hugging their parents, queuing for shops, no parties/celebrations/live sports etc?

I've read on multiple threads people trying to reassure anxious folk saying that no pandemic in history has lasted forever. That is true but (correct me if I'm wrong) the world has never shut down in this way before. In the past , sadly new viruses have swept through society then burnt out. We are constantly keeping this virus at bay with lockdown and social distancing, with a trickle of cases getting through our manmade "barriers" daily. But unless you get the number of cases in the world to 0 it will spread again when lifted. It is being held back , not eliminated.

So what do we do? I'm not saying let the virus run wild but I'm saying that I do not believe lockdown is the answer either. Otherwise do we live like this our whole lives as quite clearly the world governments have decided lockdown will continue as long as the virus is here. And at the rate the virus is starting to trickle through society it will be years.

This , and my thoughts on the previous post is why me and so many others have took our own judgements and met with friends/family. I cannot live my life like this indefinitely.

[Bluntness100]

A few children contract the virus from your child, now the whole year group is off school, including vulnerable children. How is this fair?

Let’s face it, this is hugely unlikely.

[Mother40]

I am really surprised that people are saying you are being over the top. The pictures of places.such as Soho looked awful, like everyone thought we are back to normal. I'm really worried about what could happen soon. I agree this is likely to drag on if people don't follow the rules. I want my children to go back to school and live life as.normal but with people acting along with beach goers, protests eff feel like this feel like its going to be even longer.

[Lilybet1980]

I hear you OP. We’ve followed the guidelines. Doesn’t mean we haven’t seen anyone, but we have socially distanced. Where we don’t think that’s possible we don’t see people. I’m going to the hairdressers next weekend. And we have a restaurant booking later today. I’ve been for a walk with a friend. DC1is at nursery. We are certainly not hugging anyone.

If we go into another lockdown because of all these selfish twats I’ll be really pissed off. It’s the lack of shame that annoys me, all the social media posts flaunting it, like they are special somehow. Maybe it will be their elderly relatives who die in the next wave.

[BusterGonad]

Not everyone with Covid19 is sick in hospital on a ventilator, not everyone who has died from Covid19 has actually died of it, it's put on their death certificate if they had been diagnosed with it, regardless if they had heart failure, were in a coma for many months etc.. Yes covid19 is bad, but I honestly think the response to it is crazy. So much scare mongering and false news, even threads on here have blew my mind, the poor lady who thought she had shingles and got told on the NHS phone line that they had to diagnose her as having Covid, she couldn't visit her doctor either. The amount of suffering for a virus that the majority of people will not even now they have.

[annabel85]

I think it's just the frustration that unless people follow the guidelines, I can't see how the situation is ever going to improve.

It won't. Same thing happened in America once they opened bars and everything back up before they'd got on top of the first wave.

[Sharkerr]

The way you write makes you sound a little panicked and fearful OP.

You can’t change other people’s behaviour, no matter how badly you may want to. So I wonder if the best thing for you might be to come off social media for a while if it’s really upsetting you? Otherwise you’re going through all of these difficult feelings but for nothing. You can’t stop people doing what they’re gonna do.

[CoffeeAndWhisky]

We had Covid in March as did many of our friends. I doubt that antibodies will be protective forever but as it stands, I we are going to see some larger groups of friends over the next few days. There is little point in distancing if everyone present already had it. Obviously, if anyone is shielding it is a socially distanced, small group meeting with masks etc. but life needs to go on for the rest of us.

I know several people with mental health issues who almost died because lockdown, due to reasons other than Covid, mostly depression. If a party get's them to get over that, let them. Yes, they might also be covidiots but in that case, they are still adults and it is their decision.

[D4rwin]

I love the ingenuous 'people are suffering more due to the economy etc' excuse spouted by so many on here. If that's the case then surely posting all over social media having a great time, partying it up is just as completely insensitive too?
Those partying it up didn't go through ANY thoughts about the risks or the ins and outs. Just went out because they felt like it. They're not warriors for the economy or heroes of sticking it to the government.

[annabel85]

@NCTDN

I'm fascinated by how many on here say you are being ott! I totally agree with you. I think another lockdown is inevitable if people carry on like this 
*@dancinfeet* I guess you own a dance school? I can't believe that they are not allowed to open yet, even in very small, socially distanced groups, yet the public can go to pubs and play in arcades touching screens and buttons and goodness knows how many people touch all those coins

They wouldn't dare say it to an ICU nurse.

[Bluesheep8]

I think it depends on the individual risk - the people you are describing all sound pretty young, under 40 if not younger. So if they do catch covid, assuming no other health issues, it’s unlikely they will suffer any serious harm. So they may think the benefit to their mental health is worth the risk.

But it's not just about them is it? It's about not spreading it to others surely?
And I don't think you are being OTT op. I haven't seen my parents yet as they live a distance away, too far to visit without staying over but I don't think it's safe to do that yet. We have been really careful throughout lockdown, Mum (over 70) has only recently started going out and stepdad is younger but has diabetes so my decision about visiting is based on protecting them.

[annabel85]

I love the ingenuous 'people are suffering more due to the economy etc' excuse spouted by so many on here. If that's the case then surely posting all over social media having a great time, partying it up is just as completely insensitive too?
Those partying it up didn't go through ANY thoughts about the risks or the ins and outs. Just went out because they felt like it. They're not warriors for the economy or heroes of sticking it to the government.

Yeah, the party revelers are 'suffering' because they're a bit bored and need to let their hair down and couldn't give a shit about guidelines and don't give a shit about the virus.

[annabel85]

But it's not just about them is it? It's about not spreading it to others surely?

It is about them, that's the problem. People who flout the rules don't give a shit about anyone but themselves.

[Drivingdownthe101]

I think people saying it’s nothing to do with you mean that there’s nothing you can do about it. Yeah you’re entitled to feel concerned, or angry or whatever it is you feel, but you can’t change what people are doing so it’s basically just wasted emotion.

[RoseAndRose]

I think there are too many people being too reckless.

But unless you are shielding (no pause until 1August, and only v limited contacts) you can get out and socialise. You shouldn't be insanitary together with random or lots of people (so sweaty hugs, or prolonged periods close to each other are not a great idea)

I'm currently planning safe ways to visit my DMum and another relative I want to see

Most people have learned a heck of a lot about infectious disease control in the last few months.

Some are too reckless - and we spot them because they take up public space and in worst case make it unusable. Those who are more cautious we do not see, so do not know if it's widespread or not. But if you're happy staying in, then stay in. Some introverts have really enjoyed the absence of social expectation

[BogRollBOGOF]

I'm not looking for mass socialisation (although actually being able to pull off organising something would be a bloody good start!) but I'm not turning down an occasional hug from a low-risk loved one who is also not getting out much.

About a month ago, I ended up in tears on a friends sofa. It was absolutely pissing it down with rain, sitting out in that for a few hours would have been hypothermia. After nearly 3 months without direct contact with family and friends, I was broken and 6 hours with a friend and her generous measures of gin and easy on the tonic went a very long way to lifting me out of a depressed mood that had been brewing for a while.

Few humans can survive living happily as hermits. Many people still are not and will not be living anything close to normally for months with children off school and working from home. Many have got a more normal structure back and have sufficient interractions to resume some kind of normal interractions. It's all far more mixed and messy than it was in April when far more people were in a similar boat. Time has taken its toll.

I think it is wise to be cautious about meeting groups and where they are set, but life is too short and unpredictable to refuse all natural physical interactions with low-risk close friends and family, as long as your cautious with the majority of the arrangement.

[Dontforgetyourbrolly]

The only problem here is the OP is asking for opinions , of course there is going to be a range from yes you wre OTT to no, you are not OTT enough !
What OP really wants is validation that her way is right.
Personally I think you should let the grandparents cuddle the baby if you are being careful, but of course you will disagree.
But you did ask !

[Rainbunny]

I very much understand how you feel OP. My DH went out yesterday to see friends and ended up going to three different places (two outside beer gardens and the last place was a Mexican Burrito place. I stayed at home because I'm frankly a little anxious about society suddenly opening up fully again.

Honestly, I really really would have preferred my DH not to go out at all but I also understand that it's not realistic that everything stays shutdown indefinitely and whenever things open up, yesterday or five months from now there will inevitably be a resurgence of Covid to some degree.

But I still hated that he went out if I'm honest. We are youngish, in good health and no kids so we shouldn't be excessively worried but it's human nature to be freaked out about it. My DH did take a long shower when he got back and we slept in different bedrooms (we do this already as he snores and I love my sleep) but there'll be no close physical contact for a week or two as I'm going to try to keep a bit of distance from him.

If my DH was exposed to Covid yesterday, I know it's unrealistic to think we can live in the same house and I not be exposed to it but I think there's a benefit in terms of trying to limit yourself to light exposure to the virus as opposed to heavy exposure leading to a worse case of the virus.

I hope my ramblings made some sense!

[annabel85]

I think there are too many people being too reckless

And alcohol makes people reckless, certainly in our binge drinking culture.

Personally, I think alcohol should have been banned outside the home through this period and the pubs still furloughed for now while trying to get other things open that don't see people getting leathered and reckless.

[feetfreckles]

Crazy response? 60,000 excess deaths even with lockdown despite lower deaths from accidents and asthma?

Can you imagine how bad the economy could have been hit if we didn't attempt to tackle the virus head on? Many millions of the critically and very vulnerable are working age. Many who get the virus mildly are under 50 and out of work for months

How well would our economy run without an NHS? In many hospitals they are concerned about staff burn out , total exhaustion , and that's with control over the virus

[annabel85]

@Rainbunny

I very much understand how you feel OP. My DH went out yesterday to see friends and ended up going to three different places (two outside beer gardens and the last place was a Mexican Burrito place. I stayed at home because I'm frankly a little anxious about society suddenly opening up fully again.

Honestly, I really really would have preferred my DH not to go out at all but I also understand that it's not realistic that everything stays shutdown indefinitely and whenever things open up, yesterday or five months from now there will inevitably be a resurgence of Covid to some degree.

But I still hated that he went out if I'm honest. We are youngish, in good health and no kids so we shouldn't be excessively worried but it's human nature to be freaked out about it. My DH did take a long shower when he got back and we slept in different bedrooms (we do this already as he snores and I love my sleep) but there'll be no close physical contact for a week or two as I'm going to try to keep a bit of distance from him.

If my DH was exposed to Covid yesterday, I know it's unrealistic to think we can live in the same house and I not be exposed to it but I think there's a benefit in terms of trying to limit yourself to light exposure to the virus as opposed to heavy exposure leading to a worse case of the virus.

I hope my ramblings made some sense!

Can he not stay in a hotel for a couple of weeks while he self isolates?