How are people so calm about Covid?

[BumbleWumble]

I have written several posts now and been told my reaction is not normal and that I need help for my mental health as I am suffering from health anxiety.

But how do you come to terms with coexisting with this disease, possibly forever if no vaccine is found? A highly contagious disease that you run the risk of catching everywhere you go and might kill you. Even if it doesn't you might be left with severe incapacitating organ damage. Or you might get the long haul version that goes on for months at least. Since the disease is so new no one actually knows if people with this form actually ever get better.

This doesn't seem an equivalent risk to say driving a car. It seems that eventually most people will contract it. True, many people would have a mild version then recover, although even the mild version is supposed to be a nasty experience. But a vast number of people would either die, be left with terrible lasting damage or be ill for months, possibly permanently. Also it's not known whether lasting immunity is conferred, so you might initially get a mild version then get a more severe version at a later date. And as well as this, there is the constant fear of loved ones getting it and that you might pass it on to them. Or that you might unknowingly infect any one.

In addition to this, our quality of life will be awful. As well as the threat of the actual virus constantly hanging over us, social distancing will remain necessary and we will never be able to freely interact with other people ever again. People will not be able to be close with family and friends. There will be no proper socialising, no events where people gather. There will be fear every time an indoor space has to be shared with others. Indoor workplaces especially will be a major risk forever more. As will public transport.

We will just lead a terribly bleak existence knowing that at some point we will likely catch the disease regardless with a relatively high chance of a terrible outcome. Or if not us then a loved one.

I don't understand how people aren't more concerned about this and put it on a par with other daily risks such as driving a car. It is so terrible the whole world has come to a halt over it, and if no vaccine is found quickly, is going to have a catastrophic impact on humanity as a whole as far as I can see.

I realise there will be no choice but to get on with life, but I do not know how to do this without an ever present sense of anxiety and dread. I can think of little else and if this is to be the future then I fear the rest of my life consisting of terrible fear waiting for it to get me and loved ones.

I feel utter despair and terror. It's like a nightmare with no end.

user1471518104, you are being horrible. It's not nonsense, she is truly scared. Some people are different to you about how they feel about things. What a nasty comment.

I don’t know what the point of this is OP.

You have extreme and irrational anxiety and you have had lots of advice on this and other threads regarding getting medical help. You say I am just so anxious it becomes unbearable in my own head This. You need help for this. Your repeated posting would not indicate you’re getting help on MN and unless it’s because misery loves company, I can’t see the value.

Lockdown has been a bore but we’re getting back to normal now.

Your terror and dread are not shared by the vast majority of people.

@user1471518104

My god, and people Who think like this are among us ? This type of nonsense is precisely why we won't ever get back to normal.

Read the OP’s post again. She’s really anxious. How is your post helpful. Why did you need to post that?!

Her fear is irrational and ridiculous and instead of doing something to help herself she keeps posting tripe like this, Pooh poohing any attempt others make to put things across sensibly, and seeks out others who indulge and feed into this irrationality. It’s not a nasty comment IMO but how do you help someone who seems to have zero interest in helping herself

Ffs op get a grip you've been told numerous times on other threads your paranoia is not normal.
You can catch bugs etc wherever you go , get off social media and try and find something to occupy your overactive imagination because the hysteria is ridiculous.

@prettygreenteacup

OP your response is not normal. It's a symptom of the scaremongering that the government and media had to do in order for everyone to comply with lockdown.

People seem to forget that lockdown was to help flatten the curve so as not to overwhelm the NHS. Which is what happened. It worked, which is great. We did not lock down because this virus is hiding around every corner and everyone will die from it, so we must all stay home forever. Our social responsibility now is to help mitigate the spreading of it, with social distancing for a while longer and masks etc. If I wear a mask in a shop it's not because I am afraid of Covid, it's because I have a responsibility as a citizen to help reduce any potential spreading of it to someone who may be vulnerable.

I agree! It is not the government or anyone elses responsibility to stop anyone ever dying from covid. Everyone dies eventually. It is one of the few certainties in life. From some of posters on mumsney one would think that up until now everyone was immortal.

Why are you wording this so dramatically with all this 'never again' stuff? If restrictions continue to be relaxed at the speed they are then life will be pretty much back to normal fairly soon and covid is likely to become just another illness like the seasonal flu or like glandular fever which can have longer term affects for many but we learn to live with. I don't actually mind staying 2m away from people when I can, and now dc are allowed to mix freely and without distancing my life is not much different from before. Our schools look to be going back as normal in August and indoor activities being closed for a bit longer is just saving me money.

I just think about it like this. Six hundred years ago this planet lost (they think) about 100 million people to the plague. We had breakouts of plague for centuries. We still don't have a vaccine for bubonic plague, but we combat it with antibiotics.

But in all that time we've celebrated, had children, been on holiday, raged wars (unfortunately), worked, lost jobs, had sad times and enjoyed ourselves. One way or the other we've all lived. But, no-one would be stupid enough to go on holiday to a country with an outbreak of plague. You just wouldn't. If you were in a country that declared an outbreak you'd take the precautions you were told to do.

This is nowhere near plague proportions. We may not ever eradicate it but, like the plague, we'll recognise the signs and we will either bring in measures to reduce it or find something like the antibiotics used for plague.

Life didn't stop between 1400 and 1900 (when they finally discovered antibiotics to help with plague). We lived with that disease in many countries for centuries but we still got on with life (sensibly).

I'm not rushing back to the pubs, restaurants or cinema. I'm seeing what happens with those places first and when I do go back I'll make sure I choose one that seems to have some sort of control in place. I won't use one of my local supermarkets as it's like Piccadilly Circus whereas another one is calm, measured, sensible rules in place.

I won't put myself at risk and I'll take my time with easing my own lockdown, but we're off out this weekend to a stately home grounds. They have timed tickets, reduced entry numbers, sanitising stations so I feel I have a pretty good chance of a nice day out and staying safe. I don't want to go to the beach or a big park as it doesn't feel so controlled. But that's fine - I'm out and about and not anxious. I do what I need to do to ensure I gradually get my life back. Slowly and carefully is fine but you have to get out and about eventually. Do it in your own time but try to do it.

Op what you’re saying applies to other health risks too, like flu, sepsis, cancer, Meningitis and others. You can get them, they might kill you or leave you with impaired health forever, they are out there and affect lots of people. We just live with those risks, like we do with the risks of travelling, and we’re used to them. COVID is a new risk that adds to the pile. (But at the same time, improvements in medicine and safety Tend to reduce risk over time, so overall the trend is towards greater safety.)

One reason COVID is extra terrifying for those with health anxiety is you are hearing about numbers of cases, details of specific cases, and upsetting horror stories non-stop on the news. If they treated flu or sepsis the same way the news would be full of them too.

The effects in society and the economy are another issue of course but that’s because COVID is new and we don’t have a background level of immunity or a vaccine yet. Longer term, it will be more like the risk of flu and other diseases - we’ll protect those at greater risk, have vaccines (Maybe annually), etc.

I’ve had health anxiety myself but have recovered from it, so I do know how it goes - it just gets overwhelming and you can’t cope with the Idea of the risk. But that Is something you can get help with and feel better about, and I hope that does happen for you. I know worrying like you are now is miserable

@hamstersarse
Absolutely agree
A 15 year old boy took his life in our town
Children have thrown under a bus throughout this
How people have worked from home as well as try to look after their children has been so wrong

Thank goodness for the Anti dementor threads, now abbreviated to AD
It was great to find my tribe about 6 threads ago.
People like myself who just want to live our lives
If you want to give a score to the lockdown me and dh have had quite a good one. Retired, no money worries, no young kids, no massive health concerns, a garden, a car, live near several beaches and a marina, Parks and country parks open, several shops open ,nice weather, driven out most days , seen family and grandchildren every week

8/10
It still doesn’t take away from us the Stuff we’ve missed out on, holidays, music festival, hobbies with friends, eating out, Visiting our holiday home, cultural activities and so forth. All the things that make nice

The worries about the future, children’s education, mental health of the children and adults, The economy Tanking , loss of freedoms, loss of peoples jobs, homes And futures

So on the face of it, while it looks like we’ve had a gay old time..the truth is we’ve lived our lives because that’s what living is all about. We want to look back at this period not just as a huge black cloud but one that had some very bright spots.
And it did. V E day for example . The neighbours party started off quite properly and descended into hilarious farce, with our host falling over and spilling his beer and my dh getting so pissed he went home to bed at 9
This was a group of pensioners btw.
All against the social distancing rules..but we had great and much needed fun
And guess what..no one got sick or died.

@FizzFan

Her fear is irrational and ridiculous and instead of doing something to help herself she keeps posting tripe like this, Pooh poohing any attempt others make to put things across sensibly, and seeks out others who indulge and feed into this irrationality. It’s not a nasty comment IMO but how do you help someone who seems to have zero interest in helping herself

I competent agree. People read this nonsense and can be affected badly.

I've just came off the phone to my father who was refusing to go to the hospital for a chest pains. This is down to the constant scaremongering crap like this.

Not sure why my comment posted 3 times I've asked mumsnet to delete .

But actually from now on to all intents and purposes life must be lived wrapped in cotton wool, separated from others, never able to freely interact with other people again. Because this virus is so horribly contagious and so awful.

In order to try to live we have to, to a degree, stop living. The virus is so dreadful, that even if it doesn't kill us, it prevents us from fully living

That's ridiculous.
The world doesn't stop.when thousands die of flu each year. Tens of thousands die of other illnesses or diseases, same with accidents. We carry on we haven't got a choice if we dont want to hide at home forever.
The chances of you meeting someone with it and catching it are about 1:25000 now.
Are you going to stay at home forever? Each time you get out of bed you take risks with life. You need to get help as your hysteria is not normal and so does your American friend. There are a myriad of bacteria and viruses which kill every year you cannot see them so cannot avoid them
Do you hide away each winter in case you catch flu? Never go out in case of an accident? Have a guarantee you will never get sick from anything? Have you got a cure for death?

Get out and live. Existing in a bubble of fear where death lurks in every other person in the world is not living.

FizzFan, maybe MNHQ needs to do something about this. I can't see any other way. This is the first post I have seen of op, but if she is repeating this over and over, it's futile. But I still believe nasty comment would not help.

I have hardly left the house other than a couple of times since March. The other day I fell from the top to the bottom of the stairs. I am ok luckily. But I have concluded my house is more dangerous.

Stay off the internet as much as you can OP. The more you read the more it terrifies you.

Because statistically it won't even make me sick and I've spent time in countries with more deadly endemic diseases. We make calculated risks every day. I had c19 symptoms in march (so no actual test) and it was annoying because I lost taste and smell but I wasn't ill, if it hadn't been for the publicity I would have gone to work

user1471518104, OP isn't scaremongering. She is unwell. Most of posters can see that. It's people like you who are making already vulnerable people into more desperate state by being nasty and horrible.

Weve co-existed with loads of diseases since the day we were born. Yes, a very small chance you could get really ill but theres a very small chance you could get really ill at any given time anyway.

@BumbleWumblethat’s good news about your care home
My son is a carer. He can easily go into up to 24 houses in a day.
Thankfully he’s as fit as a butchers dog. One chap did have the virus and died. That was one of many though . He loves his job and has been pleased to have carried in working through out

He doesn’t go into care homes but it’s good that yours has remained virus free.

I think maybe op should go with you to have some reality testing. Ignore the media op. Not everything is bad but everything on there is scaremongering and it’s done a great job on you.

I told my friend I’d seen someone, can’t remember who.
Are they in your bubble
I hadn’t a clue what she was on about.

Wash your hands, don’t cough and splutter over everyone. Good advice to keep you safe.

That was to vodkaredbullgirl

Op do you have children? Are you in the very vulnerable group? What age are you? It depends on your circumstances, if you have children you have to carry on, you can’t lock yourself away.

I haven't RTFT but amongst many things I could pick out from your OP was:
This doesn't seem an equivalent risk to say driving a car.
I have to disagree! If you are below 60 with no underlying health conditions you are very unlikely to have an issue with this virus. I know lots of people who have had it (I work in healthcare and we had staff testing early) and none of them have been particularly unwell, the loss of taste and smell being the biggest complaint (and how long it took for sense of taste to return).
My SIL (aged 44, also works in healthcare) has had a staff antibody test and it was positive despite her having zero symptoms at all.Now that would be a false positive, but her flatmate had Covid confirmed by positive PCR on swab and had a temperature etc so she was definitely exposed.
The chances of a young healthy person dying or having long lasting effects are extremely slim. Driving a car, or crossing a road are also slim risks, but potentially catastrophic. But people still cross roads everyday.

My daughter's partner and I were just talking about how the news scares people intentionally and we are all being mind manipulated through the tv with Derren Brown style techniques.
The best thing you can do is put the TV off or even right out and just get on with whatever your life requires. ..