How are people so calm about Covid?

[BumbleWumble]

I have written several posts now and been told my reaction is not normal and that I need help for my mental health as I am suffering from health anxiety.

But how do you come to terms with coexisting with this disease, possibly forever if no vaccine is found? A highly contagious disease that you run the risk of catching everywhere you go and might kill you. Even if it doesn't you might be left with severe incapacitating organ damage. Or you might get the long haul version that goes on for months at least. Since the disease is so new no one actually knows if people with this form actually ever get better.

This doesn't seem an equivalent risk to say driving a car. It seems that eventually most people will contract it. True, many people would have a mild version then recover, although even the mild version is supposed to be a nasty experience. But a vast number of people would either die, be left with terrible lasting damage or be ill for months, possibly permanently. Also it's not known whether lasting immunity is conferred, so you might initially get a mild version then get a more severe version at a later date. And as well as this, there is the constant fear of loved ones getting it and that you might pass it on to them. Or that you might unknowingly infect any one.

In addition to this, our quality of life will be awful. As well as the threat of the actual virus constantly hanging over us, social distancing will remain necessary and we will never be able to freely interact with other people ever again. People will not be able to be close with family and friends. There will be no proper socialising, no events where people gather. There will be fear every time an indoor space has to be shared with others. Indoor workplaces especially will be a major risk forever more. As will public transport.

We will just lead a terribly bleak existence knowing that at some point we will likely catch the disease regardless with a relatively high chance of a terrible outcome. Or if not us then a loved one.

I don't understand how people aren't more concerned about this and put it on a par with other daily risks such as driving a car. It is so terrible the whole world has come to a halt over it, and if no vaccine is found quickly, is going to have a catastrophic impact on humanity as a whole as far as I can see.

I realise there will be no choice but to get on with life, but I do not know how to do this without an ever present sense of anxiety and dread. I can think of little else and if this is to be the future then I fear the rest of my life consisting of terrible fear waiting for it to get me and loved ones.

I feel utter despair and terror. It's like a nightmare with no end.

sorry "could be a false positive" not "would be"

@HairyFloppins
Omg..that was scary
Pleased you are ok
If you do get pins and needles or loss of sensation in legs get thee to an a and e for tests in case you’ve damaged your spinal cord
When they say more accidents happen at home they are so right. A friend cut off half his thumb when an electrical tool went wrong the other day.
I bet covid was the last thing on his mind.

Chris Whitty did a video earlier on (it has been shared here on MN's net) which shows that you really don't have a high risk of dying. Even people in the extrememly vulnerable group are not definitely going to die as some OTT posters would have everyone believe.

Saying that if you are in the extrememly vulnerable category or over 75 then yes could understand the worry.

What I dont' understand is the mass hysteria from fit and healthy younger people, the hand wringing, the accusations to others of killing people because they chose to visit a beach. The media did a great job of scaring the life out of people like the OP and they have really lost all sense of proportion - this can be seen on MN's frequently. Some of the statements made are totally stupid, the fear is over the top. For balance have a look at the stories of elderly at risk patients coming out of hospital having made a full recovery...

@Dowser we have had no agency since Feb. I love my job, i must do as ive been in the same place 15 yrs. My hands have never been the same since this virus came out, washing them loads and using alco gel.

@Destroyedpeople
We rarely put the tv on these days.
If we are in and the weather isn’t nice outside we sometimes put on the afternoon quizzes.
Even then we hate the ‘covid adverts’ and the soft sugary voices.
So bloody patronising.
We call it the brainwash box ‘ and it hasn’t been on for two days.
Thank god the grandkids are sat on their x boxes and not getting brainwashed.

Life isn’t ‘safe’, no government can guarantee citizens are safe everywhere they go, that doesn’t exist at any time but especially not during a pandemic. That’s life, we are mortal, your roof could collapse on your head today or you could be hit by a bus tomorrow. It’s wise to take precautions against catching all sorts of nasty diseases but there’s no pint cowering at home in a state as mental health also has a big bearing on life expectancy.

OP seek help - go to yoiur doctor.

Posting on here as lots of others have said doesn't help you at all - what it does attempt to do is bring in other paranoid people into your drama and might really alarm them unnecessarily.

Stop posting YOUR anxiety and paranoia and get help - much more important for you to do that. Some people are very susceptible to being told what to think etc.... some will really buy into fear and you have done so and to some extent in the early days was good but you have to also have a sense of perspective and be realistic about how great a risk this really is. Some people like you are really vulnerable to believing anything someone else wants you to believe - start thinking for yourself.

@vodkaredbullgirl
It’s horrible stuff isn’t it?
I’ve used plain soap and water..but I’m mainly at home and retired so I can do.
I bought a 96 percent bottle of alcohol back from Tenerife and made my own, but smashed the glass bottle it was in last week
It had weleda rose deodorant in it and smelled lovely.
Gutted

"Wrong! Theres a relatively high chance that IF you do catch it you will make a full recovery and continue with a healthy life."

We don't know yet about how full a recovery people make. If you have it at home there are no lung xrays or any other follow-up tests are there?

@BumbleWumble - to an extent I agree with your American friend. The natural reaction when you're faced with something that appears to be overwhelming 'normal' life is to be fearful. It's also natural to think life will never be the same again. I felt like that in the early days of lockdown. We have a DS who has a heart condition and the fear that something I would touch or someone I came in contact with would pass on Covid to his weakened heart was terrifying. But I spoke to his consultant who said he didn't even have to shield. The fact that he was a child helps to lift the heart condition. So he'll return to school with his classmates in September. I'll be watching him like a hawk but he needs to be a teenager. He could be struck ill with Covid but with his heart condition he could be taken ill by running round a race track too fast! He doesn't sit out of sports though.

So yes, I was fearful in the early days. I did wake up thinking 'what if I never get the chance to go to DisneyWorld' (sorry, big kid at heart), 'what if we never get the chance to go to the Christmas Panto again?' - lots of 'what if's' about the life I took for granted.

But we will get to those places. Maybe not this year, maybe with extra precautions like face masks for a while. But we'll still do it. As I concentrate on that thought my fears subsided. We'll do it because my parents, in their time, lived through a war, illnesses that didn't even have penicillin available for them, food shortages, recessions etc., But they still went abroad, they still married and started a family, they still had parties/funerals/weddings, they still had days out and celebrated birthdays/Christmas. All those things went on in the background. My mum watched her older (then 10) year old sister die with Diphtheria - the GP running down the road shouting 'get the children out of the house' because it was so contagious. Now we have a vaccine for that.

As many people have said, our ancestors lived with so many illnesses, so many situations that could kill them. I imagine, during the war, many people despaired. I would imagine my Gran and Grandad despaired when their child died and they wondered if she'd passed Diphtheria on before she did so.

But you have to face the fear and find your own way around it. My grandparents did, my parents did and we will. Yes, some people will die. People died in the war, people (like my would be aunt) did from diseases. Will I die with Covid? No idea. I'll do my best not to though!

‘I have written several posts now and been told my reaction is not normal and that I need help for my mental health as I am suffering from health anxiety.’

You do need to speak to your GP. Your thoughts are disordered.
Do you have children OP? Have you spoken to a partner or trusted friend about how you are feeling?

@HereForYou2020
Exactly. Most of the deaths in my town have been 75 or over.
My friend who has the condition marfans was seriously ill. They also had a heart condition.they were in and out of hospital and because they were already weakened , they caught it.
They not only survived but thrived.
They are home now and recuperating.
I honestly thought they were going to die.

I do think OP has a right to post. Anxiety of various kind is common, and people often post about it on MN. Ideally they get reassured, empathised with and encouraged to get help. It’s well-known that the pandemic has made it loads worse for a lot of people.

One thing is certain and that is that bollocking and shouting at someone with an anxiety issue does not help them or make them stop being such a worry wart. It’s not rational. I have been helped enormously when in my worst states - by people being kind and reassuring.

"you really don't have a high risk of dying. "

It's not just the fear of dying though is it, it's the fear of complications. I have a gym bunny friend who now has heart problems because of it. A doctor in his 50s, very healthy before he got it.

Get yourself to the GP. One reason we humans are historically pretty good at surviving lots of very nasty stuff is our ability to selectively ignore the massive elephant in the room - not to pretend it isn't there entirely, but to function, and often function pretty well, despite it.

Great post raven, hope the OP has read it, and the other helpful posts. And ignored the few nasty ones of course.

Totally agree with this post - many more people have had it and not realised it and if everyone could have the antibody test then perhaps some of the fear will fall away?

"Peanutbuttercupisyum Sat 04-Jul-20 07:53:49
@Orangeblossom78 I agree with more reporting on mild cases! My DH has had the positive antibodies test. He can’t even pin point when he had it..he felt tired for a few days in March. And he didn’t self isolate from us his family, so we may have got it too..no symptoms at all."

@Gwenhwyfar
No, there isn’t it but you’ll know in yourself how well you are when you are able to start living again
Like I did once I recovered from pneumonia in the early 80s
Never to have it again btw, or suffer with other respiratory diseases

Our bodies are really good at repairing themselves. That’s what they are designed to do. Bruises heal without our invention. So do minor cuts and scrapes. Our immune systems are designed to keep us safe. Stress and anxiety can bring down the immune system so quickly.
You’re not doing yourself any favours, stewing over this you know.

I have just been messaging with some one I know in America and he has said my reaction is perfectly normal though. That the appropriate reaction is terror ands a sense nothing will be normal again
If your friend a world renowned epidemiologist or has a crystal ball to tell the future?
Hundreds of people here have told you you are overreacting. One person says you're right. And you're listening to that one. Why bother posting then?

@BumbleWumble One of the reasons I’m deliberately staying calm is that increased cortisol levels caused by stress can suppress the immune system. Worrying about it is actually more likely to make you susceptible!

"many more people have had it and not realised it and if everyone could have the antibody test then perhaps some of the fear will fall away?"

No, I think the fear would get worse when so many people who had it WITH symptoms find out they don't have antibodies. It's quite common.
They may be immune anyway because of T cells or something, but the current test doesn't show that.

OP, I mean this kindly, but agree that you are experiencing health anxiety. Lockdown has made us all a bit crazy and we need to start living our lives again.

Maybe stop watching the news and exposing yourself to media hysteria. How many people in your real life do you know who have had a bad case of Covid or died?

@JoysOfString
While I quite agree with you
It reminds me of the old joke
How many psychotherapists does it take to change a lightbulb?
One! But the lightbulb has got to want to change.

I used to be a counsellor with relate. Every week a woman used to come and talk about her marriage and husband. She just sat deep in her misery and sobbed the whole way through, she didn’t even raise her head to look at me.

I was so concerned I took it to case counsel and I was told I had to finish with her. Her not engaging with me, showed that she wasn’t ready to make changes.
It was almost like she was getting some kind of payoff for wallowing in an unhappy situation.

If you want to live like this op. It’s fine , it’s your choice but I’d like to think because you are unhappy you are ready and wanting to make changes.

If you do, take small steps. Get outside. Get mixing. Get living.
Even if it’s just baby steps.
Start doing one small thing a day.
Look around you.
They are people living their lives.
Like we are designed to do.

Good luck.

@Jrobhatch29

You really need to stop. 3rd post like this in a week

You're not MNHQ - so back off.

The OP is allowed to seek help, support, advice & to get the opinions of others as often as she wishes to

You never know what/when something will just be said in a way that helps.

We all know your opinion on COVID. You're free to lick as many door handles as you wish, it doesn't mean everyone else has to.

But you don't run the risk everywhere you go.

The risks are related to where cases are, number of cases and how you protect yourself.

People do have differing worry levels. Even in my town that has average reported cases below 1 per 100k population (pop is 120k) there are people who go around in gloves and face masks when walking down fairly empty streets or even driving. Compared to those who seem to forget some still want to follow SD guidelines and don't keep their distance.

We may never find a vaccine. We will, at some point, have to learn to live with it like other countries do polio, we do flu etc. I think with viruses like this though evidence seems to point to the fact they do die out and possibly eventually weaken.

OP, you're reacting like I did after a cancer diagnosis. Please see your GP. You may have depression and anxiety- ADs could help and then some counselling.