How are people so calm about Covid?

[BumbleWumble]

I have written several posts now and been told my reaction is not normal and that I need help for my mental health as I am suffering from health anxiety.

But how do you come to terms with coexisting with this disease, possibly forever if no vaccine is found? A highly contagious disease that you run the risk of catching everywhere you go and might kill you. Even if it doesn't you might be left with severe incapacitating organ damage. Or you might get the long haul version that goes on for months at least. Since the disease is so new no one actually knows if people with this form actually ever get better.

This doesn't seem an equivalent risk to say driving a car. It seems that eventually most people will contract it. True, many people would have a mild version then recover, although even the mild version is supposed to be a nasty experience. But a vast number of people would either die, be left with terrible lasting damage or be ill for months, possibly permanently. Also it's not known whether lasting immunity is conferred, so you might initially get a mild version then get a more severe version at a later date. And as well as this, there is the constant fear of loved ones getting it and that you might pass it on to them. Or that you might unknowingly infect any one.

In addition to this, our quality of life will be awful. As well as the threat of the actual virus constantly hanging over us, social distancing will remain necessary and we will never be able to freely interact with other people ever again. People will not be able to be close with family and friends. There will be no proper socialising, no events where people gather. There will be fear every time an indoor space has to be shared with others. Indoor workplaces especially will be a major risk forever more. As will public transport.

We will just lead a terribly bleak existence knowing that at some point we will likely catch the disease regardless with a relatively high chance of a terrible outcome. Or if not us then a loved one.

I don't understand how people aren't more concerned about this and put it on a par with other daily risks such as driving a car. It is so terrible the whole world has come to a halt over it, and if no vaccine is found quickly, is going to have a catastrophic impact on humanity as a whole as far as I can see.

I realise there will be no choice but to get on with life, but I do not know how to do this without an ever present sense of anxiety and dread. I can think of little else and if this is to be the future then I fear the rest of my life consisting of terrible fear waiting for it to get me and loved ones.

I feel utter despair and terror. It's like a nightmare with no end.

You need to see your GP about this, your reaction isn't OK.

Covid 19 is a respiratory virus that is essentially killing people over 80 whose lungs are weaker, stiffer, aged and aren't able to cope with the attack. Barely any have died under 50, and those who have had already got life limiting illnesses/complications.

The R rate for Covid 19 is hovering around 1. In comparison, the R rate for Measles is 15. Chickenpox has a household infection rate of 90%.

Your fears are completely out of proportion, and that's not healthy. There may never be a vaccine - seasonal flu changes and mutates every year, and people still die from it - only far less than decades ago because the vaccine helps.

OP stop reading the news and scary things online. It’s designed to make you scared and read on- you have ‘drunk the Kool Aid’ I’m afraid. Please don’t be taken in by all the media fear campaign. Research positive articles and real scientific research about this.

Viruses have been around for millions of years. All other forms of life including humans have co-existed with them during this time. Coronaviruses have been around for a very long time.

Polio, smallpox, influenza, measles, chicken pox and the common cold are all viruses.

@BumbleWumble please get some help for your anxiety. You don't have to live with this fear

This op has been advised many times to seek RL help with her anxiety

I think people continuing to engage with her on here is not helpful.

Also OP by having this level of anxiety and stress about it, you are actually causing a negative effect on your immune system. Please get some help or take steps to reduce your anxiety

I hate how everyone is so blasé about it, it really annoys me.

@dobbyssoc because for most people it isn't the death sentence that the media makes out it is. If you take steps to reduce your risks - social distancing, hand washing/sanitising, avoiding "hot spots" etc you can do a lot to help yourself.

What do you think you can do to reduce your risk of an automatic death sentence?

I haven't been shopping, to the beach, to the local beauty spots since lockdown began as as far as I'm concerned I'd receive an automatic death sentence (obese but I'm in my early 20s).

@dobbyssoc your risk of dying is miniscule and I say that to you as an obese person twice your age, who's risk of dying of covid, is also tiny

I strongly suggest you really dig into the statistics and make some comparisons between other things you accept in life like driving, or swimming. Just scientifically the chance of you a) catching it and then b) being seriously ill or die is very low.

My shielded relative caught it and didn't need medical treatment. Of course she was at much higher risk of it badly effecting her, but overall most people who catch it, even older people are okay. For example Imperial college stats say that only 9.7% of 80+ year olds will die if they contract it. For someone in their 30s it's 0.08%. Only 3.2% wold need ANY kind of hospital treatment.

I've had it, it wasn't nice. I would have preferred to stay well but it's not even the worst thing to have happened this year to me.

Don't misunderstand me, we should and I am taking steps to ensure everyone's safety. But once you are following the rules, which rightly should change as cases in the community reduce, worrying is not helpful and I do think is disproportionate.

@Ginfordinner in the short term absolutely nothing. No one around here wears masks at all, no one really observes social distancing.
What I can do is stay at home which I have been doing

Please stop posting the same ridiculous posts over and over again. Step away from the internet and get some help for your MH.

I have bouts where I freak myself out with the negativity but im just trying to get on with it a bit more now. Cant exactly love happily allowing myself down that anxiety spiral, and i dont even mind the social distancing.
At the beginning I was terrified we were all gonna die, but now, while I do know several people who have had it, theyve all recovered, even the one who was really bad. It sounds an awful illness but trying to keep in perspective with real life too. We cant quarantine long term

You have more chance of dying in a accident then you do dying of Covid, we take risks every day, walking, driving, cycling, the chance of dying from covid is very slim especially if you are healthy.

Of course it’s ok to be worried but to let it take over your life and stop you living life is just crazy, we will all die at some point, some will die earlier than others. I refuse to stay locked away with no contact with the outside world incase I die, my mental health is more important as is most people’s.

All we can do is be careful, avoid situations where you are in close contact with lots of people, keep washing hands and surfaces and just be aware of others around you. This could go on for years but life has to go on or life won’t be worth living for many.

@duckme

As you say OP, the chances of us getting it severely are very low. It's not impossible that we can get it and it will do irreparable damage or worse, but the likelihood is low. I can't keep living this half life based on this probability. My children will have missed 6 months of education, of being teenagers, of enjoying the most carefree time they'll probably ever have in their lives. That doesn't make me calm. It doesn't make me calm to be told we'll have to 'control' them after school to prevent the spread of the virus. They've given up so much already, the kids have complied with everything and have been so hard hit that to head they need to be controlled, does not make me calm. I was robbed of the last few weeks of my beloved Nan's life because of this virus-she didn't have covid, but we'd kept out distance from her as to protect her, she died on her home in her care home because we weren't allowed to visit her. She had dementia and probably wondered where the hell all of her family was. I can guarantee you OP, that makes me anything but calm. I've always considered myself to be mentally strong, but these last few months have ripped me to shreds. And not once has the worry of catching coronavirus been the reason behind my mental health decline. It's the loss of our freedom, the worry of job security for millions, the concern for the abused, neglected children who haven't had their escape to school everyday. The DV sufferers, trapped with their abusers. And the fact that, for many months, there was no future, no plans to be made, nothing to look forward to. These things, to me, have caused me more concern than the virus, rightly or wrongly, I don't know. But we can't not live forever! We don't even know if a vaccine is possible.

I couldn't have said it better@duckme

But actually from now on to all intents and purposes life must be lived wrapped in cotton wool, separated from others, never able to freely interact with other people again. Because this virus is so horribly contagious and so awful.

In order to try to live we have to, to a degree, stop living. The virus is so dreadful, that even if it doesn't kill us, it prevents us from fully living.

Yikes you do need help. OP if you live your life like this then it's not living. This 'new normal' (hate that term now) will be here for a while but I live my life thinking it's not going to be like this forever. Think about where we were two months ago compared to today. Two months ago we were almost at the peak, today you can go and get a pint at the pub if you so wish.

You need to not sweat the small stuff, it's no way to live, PLEASE speak to someone professional to work out this anxiety as much as you can.

OP

I am interested in your responses to this thread and your behaviour in setting up multiple threads about the same topic.

What stories did you hear in relation to mental health in your family growing up?

Was there a family story that physical illness was the only “real” illness and mental illness was not a thing, people just needed to get over it by being mentally strong?

What do you want to get out of these threads? What are you hoping we are going to say to you?

You also advise that you have been talking to a friend/someone online in the USA who has told you that your response to covid is normal.

Are you hoping multiple people will come forward and tell you there is a real risk of you suffering from a physical illness (covid) and not a present risk of you suffering from a mental illness (anxiety)?

Would you somehow feel more validated if multiple people told you that your level of anxiety over covid is justified?

OP, I was told most viruses die off naturally within a couple of years. It won't be around forever. Take comfort in that.

And the vast majority - the vast majority who catch it will be asymptomatic or have mild symptoms like a bout of unpleasant flu. Of course we have to take sensible and humane precautions around it. But many vulnerable people die of flu each year - thousands in UK every year. Life is not risk free.

A friend, her son and I all caught a really bad flu a few years ago. All three of us came down with post-viral fatigue that lasted for about three years. He missed months of school. She and I pretty much spent our lives on the sofa and scaled back all our plans, our work loads, everything. It is one of the worst things that's ever happened to me. By contrast, the government handing me a few grand to stay home in the sunshine seems like a fairy godmother has tapped her wand. When very frail, very high-risk vulnerable shielded my dad was seriously last month, his care was managed superbly. The hospital he was at had not one case of COVID. Not one.

So please try to look around for stories that balance the horror stories. There are appalling stories of ordinary flu. There are great stories of hope and recovery from Covid. It's a virus. It will die out.

My god, and people Who think like this are among us ? This type of nonsense is precisely why we won't ever get back to normal.

Look for the positives not the negatives.

The government needed us to be scared so that we’d comply with the lockdown and avoid overwhelming the nhs.

Absolutely agree. The media now has a different message because the new message suits the new government narrative of get the economy moving again.

I saw an article earlier that stated that out of the 44,000 (or so) deaths, 30,000 of them had been in care homes. That tells me that care homes need to better protected, and people who work in or visit, care homes need to be taking strict hygiene measures. It also tells me that as someone who isn’t in, work in or visit a care home there is very little risk to me (as a healthy 40 year old).

The OP isnt going to take a blind bit of notice to all the rational threads that point out statistical risk. Thats because she is currently in fight or flight mode, isnt coming from a rational perspective and is currently operating from a purely emotional POV than a rational one (the lizard brain- amygdala, the part of the limbic system which is responsible for processing our emotions)
In order to get to the bottom of this fear she needs to look at where this anxiety is really coming from and what caused it in the first place (usually childhood stuff). Covid fear is a symptom of her anxiety, not the cause and hopefully if she can find a good therapist she can examine her underlying beliefs about risk, safety and her self worth and can do something about this as it sounds absolutely crippling and exhausting.

The government needed us to be scared so that we’d comply with the lockdown and avoid overwhelming the nhs.

This.

Get yourself to the GP.
One reason we humans are historically pretty good at surviving lots of very nasty stuff is our ability to selectively ignore the massive elephant in the room - not to pretend it isn't there entirely, but to function, and often function pretty well, despite it. We are able to tuck the knowledge into the back of our mind and go out and enjoy a meal or a good film.
This elephant-ignoring function in your brain is currently not working, and you need some advice on how to get it jump-started again.

I don’t think it’s that easy to catch it. The virus has been in the country before 2020 and the vast majority of people (95%) hasn’t caught it as per several studies in different countries. We didn’t have any measurements in place before March. And yet we didn’t all get it. If you’re willing to protect yourself then that’s fine but we can’t continue in permanent lockdown forever even if no vaccine is found .. life must carry on. You don’t stay at home because a car might run over you or have a car accident and yet the % is high there

OP as most pp have said, you have severe health anxiety and simply can't mentally get yourself through these uncertain times. No amount of posting and comments will help you. Why do you keep avoiding the questions about getting professional help? First thing Monday morning call your GP, be active, take steps to help yourself. Sitting in your own doom and gloom is doing NOTHING. Seek professional help, research the facts about previous pandemics and step away from anything vaguely scaremongering.

I work in a care home, we are all taking every precaution as possible. Still in lockdown, no visitors, no gps coming, no new admissions. We have had no cases what so ever.

We have all been tested, all negative. As government say, they will be testing all of us every week. Although its like shutting the gate after the horse has bolted.