How are people so calm about Covid?

[BumbleWumble]

I have written several posts now and been told my reaction is not normal and that I need help for my mental health as I am suffering from health anxiety.

But how do you come to terms with coexisting with this disease, possibly forever if no vaccine is found? A highly contagious disease that you run the risk of catching everywhere you go and might kill you. Even if it doesn't you might be left with severe incapacitating organ damage. Or you might get the long haul version that goes on for months at least. Since the disease is so new no one actually knows if people with this form actually ever get better.

This doesn't seem an equivalent risk to say driving a car. It seems that eventually most people will contract it. True, many people would have a mild version then recover, although even the mild version is supposed to be a nasty experience. But a vast number of people would either die, be left with terrible lasting damage or be ill for months, possibly permanently. Also it's not known whether lasting immunity is conferred, so you might initially get a mild version then get a more severe version at a later date. And as well as this, there is the constant fear of loved ones getting it and that you might pass it on to them. Or that you might unknowingly infect any one.

In addition to this, our quality of life will be awful. As well as the threat of the actual virus constantly hanging over us, social distancing will remain necessary and we will never be able to freely interact with other people ever again. People will not be able to be close with family and friends. There will be no proper socialising, no events where people gather. There will be fear every time an indoor space has to be shared with others. Indoor workplaces especially will be a major risk forever more. As will public transport.

We will just lead a terribly bleak existence knowing that at some point we will likely catch the disease regardless with a relatively high chance of a terrible outcome. Or if not us then a loved one.

I don't understand how people aren't more concerned about this and put it on a par with other daily risks such as driving a car. It is so terrible the whole world has come to a halt over it, and if no vaccine is found quickly, is going to have a catastrophic impact on humanity as a whole as far as I can see.

I realise there will be no choice but to get on with life, but I do not know how to do this without an ever present sense of anxiety and dread. I can think of little else and if this is to be the future then I fear the rest of my life consisting of terrible fear waiting for it to get me and loved ones.

I feel utter despair and terror. It's like a nightmare with no end.

I've been critical all along of people who won't take it seriously enough. (The ones who say "I'll do what I like"), but once you have ensured that you are taking all the precautions and following the guidelines you may as well try and relax about it.

The precautions are important, but that's not the same as thinking we're all going to die of it or even all suffer. A lot of people will have had it and not even noticed. That is the most likely outcome. That you will take a test and find you had it already.

This is not forever. We're already testing vaccines and we have a treatment right now which helps a lot. We have no real reason to suppose people will catch it more than once. That could happen, but the people saying it are trying to sell newspapers.

Even if some people didn't develop an immunity it would be ok as the people around them will be immune so they won't get exposed.

If it's overwhelming you then you need to turn off the news for a start. Ration yourself to one news summary a day and talk to people about other subjects. Everyone is on social media and we have the whole internet to choose from. Find something entirely different to occupy you.

You'd be amazed how many baby elephant videos I have watched and I'm working my way through animated movies like Shrek as I don't have to think "Why is he standing so close to him" which I really was doing a bit.

@PhilCornwall1

What I do struggle with is understand how people can be "terrified" of this. Is it because it can possibly kill you? If so, don't you spend your whole life terrified, as you are going to die at some point.

It's not so much because it can kill me. It's the way it might kill me. I live alone, Any other illness I have friends & family that I could ask to help me, come & check on me, or even let me stay with them. There is no one I would put in that position if I got COVID. I do have a DP/OH whatever you want to call him, but we opted to lock down separately because of his son. I would not/could not ask him to come here if I was ill.

I have diabetes. I had a routine operation around 3 years ago and although the operation went well, the after affects of the medication badly affected my
Blood pressure and my diabetes. I ended up being in over a week for something that's usually overnight and they only sent me home because they thought I'd get better sooner at home where I could take control of my food (better than hospital mush) and get some sleep. My body was sky high and my bloods too. 6 weeks of various BP medications followed. I was very ill but as I wasn't contagious I had people who could help. With Covid id have no one.

You don't live alone, so it's possibly not something that you properly imagine.

IF it wasn't such an awful way to die & alone then I wouldn't be so scared.

I'm sorry you seem to think that makes me pathetic 😢

No one ever resolved anything from going into a panic so accepting it for what it is and that you can’t change the situation means you adapt. You can’t control the virus or others but you are in charge of your own behaviour and response to the pandemic so decide how you want to approach that.

*I have just been messaging with some one I know in America and he has said my reaction is perfectly normal though. That the appropriate reaction is terror ands a sense nothing will be normal again. And that any one who doesn't feel that is the problem as they are more liable to act irresponsibly.

That is not what I really want to hear. That I am actually correct to feel a sense of doom. But maybe I am simply being realistic, sadly.*

Your friend in America is just one other person feeling this out of thousands who are just carrying on while washing their hands, wearing a mask where it's required and keeping a 2m distance wherever possible. It's likely they possibly need some help with anxiety too. As i said previously the getting back to normal is already ramping up and we're moving through the phases fairly quickly. The early deaths were hugely due to mistakes sending patients back to care homes who did not have sufficient PPE and the delay in getting people in the community tested. Testing is in place now which is the best way to contain the virus. Care homes are still an issue but they know better now what they are dealing with and PPE and hand gel is now widely available!

Dowser absolutely and there is definitely such a thing as someone who doesn't want to change - but we're not OP's counsellor, we're just a forum and no one has to engage with her if they don't want to.

I'm not going to drop everything to try to "fix" OP in whatever way. But as someone who has had health anxiety so knows what it's like, and who has been helped and no longer feels that way - thank god - I can make the decision to spend a few minutes adding my voice to those who say there is a way out.

Maybe OP's not ready, maybe it will take years but one day she might be and then she'll know it can be done.

Sometimes people do just post to be told "poor you that's awful for you". Nothing wrong with that either IMO - again no one has to post back if they don't want to - but it can be a lifeline.

The way I see it is this. One out of 2 people will get cancer in their lifetime. Some will survive, some wont, but we all do what we can to minimise our chances of getting it. Don't smoke, wear sunscreen, don't eat too much red/processed meat etc, but even then there is a slight risk, so what do we do? We just get on with life doing the best we can. For me it's the same with covid...I do what I can to lessen the risk of catching it or passing it on but other than that there is nothing else I can do, so I just get on with living as best I can at the moment.
My family is just one of thousands of others who, over the last few months have seen our loved one's death reduced to being just a number, but life goes on for the vast majority of the population just as it should do. Covid is just another thing to add to the long list of "things that could kill you" but if you let it take over your life the chances are it will get you via an indirect route through not seeking medical advice, destroying your MH and other such things.

Seek help from a professional OP as your anxiety will cause you more problems in the long term than the actual disease.

@BestOption if you were that ill with covid you would be in hospital surrounded by experts and kind staff. If you were well enough to be at home then you'd probably manage yourself. It's not much different to having Flu or Norovirus surely? Would you feel happier asking people to come round and help with a contagious vomiting bug than you would with a covid infection? It's just one of many illnesses that could put you in a similar situation.

Me personally?

I’m female, white, with a BMI of 21. I have no underlying conditions and I’m under 60. I am careful with basic hygiene. I live in the UK so have access to the NHS. Treatment for cv19 patients is improving rapidly. Mortality rates for those admitted to hospital have already dropped from 6% to 1.5%. It will continue to improve.

I am very lucky, The chances of my dying of cv19 are tiny. I do not want to worry my ds by getting in a state he’ll pick up on so I refuse to get things out of proportion.

It is the best approach I can see.

but we all do what we can to minimise our chances of getting it. Don't smoke, wear sunscreen, don't eat too much red/processed meat etc,

Loads and loads of people do one or all of these things and more! We certainly don't all do what we can in the slightest.

@BestOption

You're not pathetic at all.

I think some of what we know has been scary, because it has been so different. Humans like to understand and plan and we've had a big shock to our systems.

I think the fact there are no visitors if you get it is frightening, because humans need love. Also no attending funerals etc made bereavement very very hard.

Those talking about cancer, yes, but we know about cancer from a young age, we've grown up with it and we therefore have it wired in. Plus over the last xx years cancer stories generally have been improving. Vivid is a major worsening of our disease landscape, with little warning.

It is hard to process.

That is why we are getting such extreme reactions - from super rational risk analysis to full on panic/hiding.

I think the last few decades we have become complacent about death. 100 years ago average life expectancy was 53, now we are surprised by ill health by whatever form it takes.

If you hide forever, you will miss out on life.

Enough. I say this in the kindest way but just stop

Yes it’s not a nice virus, yes people have sadly died, but at most, at the moment 1% of the population. Lots more have had it and recovered. They are learning more and more each day, there is lots of talk the virus is weakening, they have drugs that can help, they may have a vaccine soon

And I know it’s not a flu, but thousands die each year from flu, does the world stop, no and vaccines don’t stop all flu’s

Like other diseases in the past we learn to live with it

Time to stop all your doom and gloom, and if you can’t then you need to seek help

Vivid = covid, autocorrect fail

I think for some of us things are getting back slowly to normal: my DH is back at work, DS is back at pre school. We've visited our local farm today and have booked to go to the zoo next week.

My DD was born with complex medical needs so I know that life is fragile.

I won't be rushing to a pub/shopping centre anytime soon but believe our family risk from covid is low.

80% of people who get it will recover fine. It's only really an issue if you have underlying health conditions, which none if my family have, therefore I am not worried.

@Chloemol I agree we will have to learn to live with it - but it hasn't yet been long and people can take a while to adjust. It is requiring quite a bit of adjustment.

Is the OP Mark Drakeford?

I have never been worried about this.
I was thinking yesterday about why. I think it's because I never watch TV. I read scientific papers and the statistics.

Even in the early days it was clear that that this was something that impacted the very elderly primarily (which I am not, and although my parents are, I don't expect them to be immortal anyway. I don't want them to die but they are going to at some point. I am at peace with that).

And as time has gone on it seems like with T cell immunity that only around 20pct are susceptible anyway. And death rates are way lower than the 3.4pct first reported out of Wuhan (which was very much geared to the elderly).

So in summary, my chances of getting are low, chances of being asymptomatic are very high, and chances being severely hit and dying are incredibly low and not enough to scare me.

I was wondering what death rate actually WOULD scare me. If it were age agnostic, a death rate of 3pct plus, combined with infection rate of 80pct probably would scare the crap out of me and I would advocate lockdown. I think my risk tolerance is quite high though. I'm the sort of person who eats food well after use by dates and I never get sick.

She has 3 active threads, there is no need. Fair enough vent your anxiety in one thread but 3, really? And her anxiety could be making other anxious people 10 times worse. I have offered reassuring posts to her on the other threads as have dozens of people but she refuses to listen so its pointless.

Sorry i was meant to quote the person having a go on the previous oage but hasnt worked.

As a fellow health anxiety sufferer I can completely sympathise with you it’s no easy thing being faced with a global pandemic and living under restrictions that re enforce that that there is something to worry about and media reports everywhere telling you the same. However your anxiety sounds very paralysing and you need to get help with this. I referred myself for CBT (through the nhs) a few months ago as like you I realised this isn’t going anywhere and I want to leave to get my anxiety about it to a reasonable level. Living in fear is no life either and when we are struggling we need to take responsibility for our own wellbeing and seek help. I’m trying to start to do small low risk things and build up from there. I’m due to have my hair cut as it needs doing and it’ll make me feel better, it’ll be done by a mobile hairdresser in my garden. I’ve also just booked a short trip away in our caravan which has its own toilet and shower on a quiet campsite, we’ll take our shopping with us and and choose where we go carefully but we all need a break and again it’ll do me good. Other things I find helpful are exercise, fresh air, chatting to friends, minimising exposure to media (this just brings me down), minimal social media, time away from my phone. I’ve also found it helps me to make sure I’m keeping myself healthy by exercising and eating well and I like to make sure have a reasonable supply of basic food and medicine etc in the house in case I can’t get online shops as I feel prepared which helps me to feel calm. I plan to meet with friends tomorrow maybe at more than two meters but I need the social contact and the risk is low. Slowly I need to start to do things I used to and start stepping out of my comfort zone. Yes I’ll be careful and minimise risk but we have to live too. My first cbt appointment is next week and I hope this will help me too. As many have said we won’t be living like this forever gradually it’ll become just another disease that can harm us with lots less media attention and far fewer deaths. The risk to you is small but I understand the fear of this still being an unknown disease and the worry about long term health issues but there is a balance between taking sensible precautions and not just existing. Social distancing won’t be forever, I promise we will get back to a life that largely resembles how life used to be. We have thousands of scientists and medical professionals studying this disease. We already know so much more about it than we did a few months ago, as a result of this treatment is improving and a new drug has been found that reduces death. Over time this will become far more treatable and less deadly to those who are vulnerable and a vaccine may be found too. I promise it’s not all doom and gloom, there has never been a pandemic that has changed the way people live forever and neither will this one. Please seek help though your anxiety is very severe, that’s not something you can control so you need support to find coping strategies that allow you not to live in fear.

It might be difficult to get into this mindset, but you really do need to ask yourself what the alternative is at this stage, @BumbleWumble ? You're well within your rights to be anxious, forever. But that's just what it is and all it will ever be. Until you get to a point where you realise and accept that your anxiety isn't going to change the situation, you'll eat yourself alive while other people watch. This thread can run, you can create five more, other posters can agree with you, but none of that will help a vaccine to be produced. Nothing we do will. Whether you're anxious or not, the situation will be what it is. If it's doomsday, if we're all actually going to die imminently, isn't there something else you'd like to go out doing? In terms of catastrophes, it's a relatively calm one to live with. Personally, I'd rather spend time on my hobbies and interests in this time. If I'm going to die tomorrow then worrying won't change that. It's not even about being kind to yourself, or others. Just be practical. We're all going to die eventually anyway. What were you planning to do until that day before Covid came along?

@IncrediblySadToo what are my opinions on covid then? And talk about taking a comment out of context which was to the ridiculous person suggestion covid will cause cancer!!

It's the quality of life bit that bothers me but I don't value my own life very much at the best of times. Not at all worried about the virus. However my attitude isn't healthy either, lockdown has rebooted previous mental health issues to the point dying doesn't seem bad at all.

Definitely have a chat with your doctor about your feelings. Threads like this don't help, the people agreeing with you just feed your anxiety and those disagreeing won't convince you.

OP, I work in the offices of a food factory, with a cold environment, much like the ones that have had outbreaks recently. I’ve been in work throughout the peak, long before there was any government guidelines on how to work safely. It was my job to decide on, and put measures in place. I just don’t recognise this hugely contagious virus lurking on every corner that you speak of. Or the unsafe offices. We’ve not had a single case. A similar factory round the corner however, has had an outbreak. One person had symptoms, took a test, which was positive, and the mobile testing unit was in their car park the next day. Seventeen out of two thousand employees have tested positive, that’s .0085%. All but the original one were asymptomatic. The manager of the factory is an acquaintance of mine. He tested positive, his wife and children tested negative.

Does that sound like the deadly virus rampaging out of control and destroying all life as we know it to you? Because to me, it sounds like a situation that is increasingly coming under control.