Is this all life will be from now onwards?

[Tartan333]

I have lost hope of things getting back to normal and I mean normal not the awful phrase "new normal".
This feels like existence, all the fun has gone from life, we are all ruled by covid now. Is this it now for the long term? Will it be years before we can do normal things again without masks, distancing, threat of covid etc?

It seems like a very dark future at the moment.

No, it wont be like this for years to come. I know it feels hard when we are in the depth of it, but it honestly will get better. Even without vaccines and as much knowledge - look at how the 1918/1919 flu became something that we could live with. We will get there. In the mean time we need to look at what we can do and find pleasures in those things.

You can do things without masks now. Pubs and restaurants are opening soon, and kids will be back in school in Sept, meaning we can all go back to work in offices.
We can already have people into our houses.
Life is not that far from normal already if you don't have children (apart from the wfh, which some b people prefer anyway).
If you do, hang on in there until Sept.

Normal changes all the time. Unless you've lived a very, very fixed and isolated life for the last 50 years.

You go to college, new normal. Go to uni, new normal. Live on your own, new normal. Get a job, new normal. Find a partner, new normal. Lose a job, new normal. Have a kid, definitely new normal.

So yea, this might be different from 6 months ago. But this idea of a new normal doesn't have to really negative. There are ways you'll make it a 'better new normal' and I know many families that already have.

That's not to say it's easy and you're going to be instantly happy tomorrow. But I don't understand the worry about new normal.

Instead of trying to get back to the old way, adapt and make the best of your time now.

@MoreW1ne I dont think you can compare the mainly voluntary changes you've mentioned (starting uni, having a baby) with having everything you enjoyed in life being ripped away from you. Humans are not meant to be kept away from their friends and family, faces covered, etc. Nothing will stop me wishing for the "old normal" back no matter how many times I'm told to get used to the new.

There are ways you'll make it a 'better new normal' and I know many families that already have

There is nothing better about this shit show than my life before. Nothing. Not one thing.

I fail to see how anything 'better' can come out of having your freedom forcibly removed.

We just need some patience. Sadly there is no quick fix to this. We need a vaccine or drugs that save a certain percentage of people reliably. Look at flu, thousands die every year of flu (despite a vaccine) but we don’t all go into lockdown every winter. We simply accept it will spread around us all & very sadly, a percentage of people who become seriously ill with it will die. It’ll be the same for corona. We’ll find a vaccine eventually. It could be October, it could be this time next year. But there will be one. And in the meantime, drug trials continue around the world & the doctors & scientists learn new things everyday. Once we work out a combination of drugs that saves say 70% of those in a critical condition, then we can move forwards.

The best thing I’ve found is to accept this year & period of time for what it is. The very worst is over (for now maybe). There is fun to be found. Lunch in the garden with friends & family. Takeout lunch & coffee from local cafes. Delicious takeout from restaurants around us. You can go shopping now if you fancy it. To the pub next week. On holiday. And most importantly we can see friends & family indoors! I’m hop footing to stay with my in-laws for a week or so, I cannot wait for some support with my children 🙈 I know things are not ‘normal’ but it’s better than it has been!

Life will resume normal normal. It’ll just take some time. No pandemic in the history of the world has ever lasted forever. In fact most last around 2 years max.

I feel for anyone with very young children right now. Ok the playgrounds are opening this weekend but when it's raining there is no option of softplay or a wonder round the garden centre and a coffee with friends. Zero playgroups. It's really hard.

Yes, agree with @Bol87 - find the things that are 'as close' to normal as possible and do as many of those as possible.
My running group has just restarted and it was so good to be out in a small group again, and we managed to sit spaced out on the grass for a coffee afterwards!

It's surreptitiously depressing, isn't it? On the surface, life seems normal, but once you start interacting with life on COVID terms, it's a bummer. The restrictions which are, for the foreseeable future, in place permanently have greatly reduced the quality of service, of living that we're used to. I mean, we're not in Yemen. Let's not get too down here. But we're allowed to say, "This sucks and I don't want to queue outside Argos for an hour for a fan I bought and paid for online."
I want to be able to get my bike properly repaired by my bike guy without him having to come outside on the pavement to do it, then do a shit job because he's so much more rushed and not able to work on bikes outside the way he is in his now overly crowded workshop thanks to every Londoner becoming a cyclist over lockdown. Phew. Sorry- had to sneak in that rant.
Service will go down. Things will be shittier. And Covid will be the excuse for everything just being a bit lower standard than we're used to. And that is lame.

MoreW1ne such wonderfully naive optimism. If you're 50, your outlook gives me such hope! If you're under 30, you haven't been to school yet.

There's nothing about this which is comparable to normal life changes. I want to mooch around the shops again, go for a drink with a friend, pop out for lunch and not feel like I am risking death! It does feel like existence rather than proper living.

The only upside for me is that I quite enjoy the 2m social distancing - I dislike having people in my personal space, so I'd like to keep that even after Covid. I also quite like the increased cleanliness of public spaces.

I am really struggling now too. I have a 7 and 4 year old, and had a baby 8 weeks ago too. Neither of my kids were in year groups invited back by their school. My partner is back at work full time and I am utterly miserable and lonely now. Trying to home school two boys whilst dealing with a newborn after having no sleep at all. Nornally my mam would be here all the time helping. I am really fed up! Nothing to do except go for a walk and my kids are sick of walks now. All that with worrying about my partner bringing the virus home to us, especially the baby. I was sitting crying at 4am through exhaustion and wondering how I will get through another day of home school.

Some people are obviously quite sheltered and have never faced adversity. So its natural that many will struggle to initially cope with this challenge.

You'll be surprised how quickly you'll be able to bounce back. You have more strength than you realise.

Oh god not the bullshit that this 'new normal' is somehow superior. People do mostly as they please. If living a hermetically sealed existence with little to no real life human interaction was how people actually wanted to live, they'd have been doing it already.

But mostly, they didn't. Mostly they willingly went outside, to crowded places, to places where you spend money, with groups of people. The current restrictions go against human nature for the majority of us.

For those lucky 'introverts' who hate the outside, ok, we'll see how that goes when actual normality comes back. I strongly suspect you'll be in the gym, the pub, and walking in beauty spots like everyone else but I may be proved wrong I suppose.

Vanguard...what if I'm 40?

Always makes me laugh when people assume young people are naive. Its almost like they are bitter as they made a shit show of things so they hope younger people do. Sometimes, you've just got to accept that someone younger than you may well do a better job.

Seriosuiy though, naive is something that is going against something considered to be accepted common sense. And, perhaps unfortunately for you, there really are plenty of people that are and will be fine. In fact believe it or not many will actually benefit and prosper from this.

Some people are obviously quite sheltered and have never faced adversity.

You really need to stop.

No it will not be forever. And I think the use of “new normal” is really bad for people.
It’s setting us up to think life is always going to be 2m distancing and masks and isolation and queuing in the rain at Tesco.

No it won’t. These are temporary measures. Anyone who is really enjoying them is free to keep going like this forever, but the rest of us will get back to normal, the same way we have after other pandemics.

I think a lot of us, even those with a fair bit to struggle with, have been very fortunate all our lives compared to earlier generations. Most of us haven't experienced wars, haven't gone hungry. Mosy of us haven't had unwanted pregnancies or lost children or partners at a young age from what are now preventable diseases. Most of us have had opportunities like a good education, jobs that arent dangerous or unreasonably demanding, and have been able to enjoy leisure activities, hobbies and holidays in our free time. Most of us have enjoyed living in a country with a free press, a democratic government, a judiciary and police force which aren't too awful.

If you look at experiences of many people round the world, it is a bit naive to think life is always going to be fun. To lose hope because of that, is unreasonable.

It has only been a few months, and things are already getting better. Why would you lose hope? Seems very melodramatic to me.

Suggest you could try reading some biographies of people who have lived through tough times, you might pick up some tips about resilience and hope and have chance to compare your current hardships with what other people experience, figure out what they did to remain hopeful. It can be really uplifting to understand how people come through periods of adversity.

Stop? Why because I'm not feeling negative and that somehow upsets you? That not everybody is feeling all doom and gloomy.

The OP started a post about how they're feeling. I just shared my own opinion that not everything is or will be that bad.

Theres enough negativity on the MN forums, that if the OP needs confirmation that their life is over and the worlds caving in they'll be able to find it.

Sorry for not joining you.

I totally agree that this 'new normal' isn't as good as marketed!!
On the face of it as a PP said we can go out and do things but in reality with kids aged 4, 2 and 7 months it's a nightmare.
My 4 year old is back at school part time which is the one saving grace but my 2 year old has no nursery (they are prioritising the school starters) no music class, no messy play no playgroup no swimming no soft play!

Can't take them to the garden centre because let's face we only go there for the play area and cafe which are shut! He's fed up of welly walks and painting! My 7 month old has never been swimming or to a baby class etc and my mat leave will run out soon!

Even to go to the local national trust place I have to go online at 6am on a Friday to book a slot for the next week! Which is great if you pick a sunny day but not so great if not!

Just feels like everything is harder! No spontaneity, no ability to judge moods/naps on the day and just go for it etc,

I totally get that we are lucky in so many ways but I just feel fed up with it all now. My 2 year old and 7 month old will be unlikely to remember any of it and I'm sure won't be affected long term but I just feel for them!!

We will make changes for the positive such as not filling every weekend with 'stuff to do' and enjoying our garden more- but right now they are sick of the garden and need some new places to go and look etc!

I feel wary of playground opening as how is it going to work? Just let the kids crack on and get close to each other? I think that's the only way but you just feel you can't relax!
I wish there was more scientific evidence about surface contact and transmission- can they really catch it from touching the same swings etc??

My pre covid life was bloody lovely and this shit show now is not.
My teenagers had huge opportunities that they had worked really hard for and had been desperately looking forward to. These have been whisked away.
One has spent nearly 4 months of the first year of his degree, at home with his mum and dad. He has just found out that in September he will pay 9250 pound to be taught for one and a half hours a week.

We haven't seen family since February. WE cant go for a meal, to the theatre, for a swim.

Queueing up outside the supermarket is shit.

Nothing about this, is in any way, shape or form, better.

MoreW1ne, you're not wrong. I'll admit. You're just condescending. You're not judge and jury here. If people find new normal hard, what's it to you? I have had a shitload of adversity in my life, by the way. In fact, I was unconscious in ICU with a 50/50 chance of survival a couple of months ago. I woke up in my hospital bed to look out over the same fields I looked out upon when I gave birth to my last child 6 years ago. That was probably one of the hardest moments for me. Because I was not out of the woods. I knew very well I could have died where my child was born and that was a lot to take in in that very moment. Enough of the sob story though. I survived and I'm here to have a bloody good moan about the new normal and how I hate queueing up outside Tesco!

I feel like that today OP; tired of the ‘rules’, worrying about whether I’m too close to people, all the uncertainties associated with going back to work. It’ll pass and I think we’re all entitled to our less positive feelings- I hope you feel better as time goes on.

We have to look for the best moments we can, whatever they might be. This is not ideal, and I know how you feel when that dawning realisation for all of the fanfare about restaurants/bars reopening etc, we are still in a very strange place. Nothing feels quite right still.

It is that old saying we simply need to be grateful for everything we still have, we are well - children are well, the world is still turning. We have coped so far. It is all we have in the end, when tough times are upon us. We need to keep looking up at the stars and not at the gutter. Never has that saying been more apt.

This feels like existence, all the fun has gone from life, we are all ruled by covid now. Is this it now for the long term? Will it be years before we can do normal things again without masks, distancing, threat of covid etc?

I've never worn a mask. Pubs and restaurants are about to open, schools are going back fully in September (and there's less than two weeks until the summer holidays), campsites and hotels are opening. Shops are open. I haven't had to queue at the supermarket for weeks. And shortly family and friends will be able to see each other. Sounds approaching normal to me.

Yes, the remaining restrictions are still a (necessary) pain, but the fun hasn't gone from life, it was just paused and is returning.

For those lucky 'introverts' who hate the outside, ok, we'll see how that goes when actual normality comes back. I strongly suspect you'll be in the gym, the pub, and walking in beauty spots like everyone else but I may be proved wrong I suppose

And yet someone else who has NO CLUE what being an introvert is all about, but can't resist a nice back-hander.