Is this all life will be from now onwards?

[Tartan333]

I have lost hope of things getting back to normal and I mean normal not the awful phrase "new normal".
This feels like existence, all the fun has gone from life, we are all ruled by covid now. Is this it now for the long term? Will it be years before we can do normal things again without masks, distancing, threat of covid etc?

It seems like a very dark future at the moment.

@Jemimapuddleduk - that sounds really hard. I hope things improve for you soon.

@Defenbaker yes case fatality is deaths / confirmed cases. We know there are alot more people who have it. Antibody tests have said at least 3.5 million have had it in uk. I have attached the mortality rates by PHE when they accounted for their antibody screening.
Yes interestingly 0.1% for flu is also the case fatality. The real rate is thought to be around 0.04%.

I spend alot of time reading this crap when I am up every 1.5 hours in the night feeding my baby haha

@Jrobhatch29 Thanks, that explains it.

I try to remember that not everyone experiences things the same way. What may not affect me much could be harder for someone more extroverted. I can cope with most of the situation but am struggling with not knowing when I will see my family again. And knowing that it will be far later than most people.

I’m really horrified by the ‘new normal’ concept. Basically, this ‘new normal’ is a broken, atomised society.

As far as I can see there are only two ways out of this.

Either we find a vaccine, or we accept that we have to acquire herd immunity in order to preserve our society. The difficulty with the second option is that so many politicians have invested so much political capital in lockdown. For them now to admit that it was misconceived - that we can’t squash Covid, but have to face it full on - will be impossible. Electoral suicide.

If the ‘new normal’ is allowed to gain ground it will be an absolute tragedy for our children.

Theillness bit of this and lives lost, obviously I am sad abou.

But the lockdown is lovely.

No more long commutes, saves a fortune, work more effectively from home, actually get to see and spend quality time with my dcs, my dc learning far more than at school as can actually follow their own interests. The sunny weather helps.

Barely miss going out, would like theatres and galleries to reopen but I'll wait.

No. This will pass.
Hopefully there will be a few differences (maybe thinking a bit more about desecration of the natural world /wet markets/industrial farming and all the other stuff that heightens the chances of future pandemics would be no bad thing!?). But fundamentally we're humans and we want (as a population, obviously not every one of the 7 billion people in the world!) the closeness of other humans and we want to be able to buy stuff, which requires money.
We won't and can't lockdown forever for one virus unless those 2 things change.
So I guess we have to just try and stay positive.

@Pigeonfaces or we could find better ways of treating it, or we could eliminate it (restrictions on international travel like quarantine would be necessary) or we could put in place a really good track and trace system? Lots of options other than the gambling on herd immunity.

@TrustTheGeneGenie I agree 100%. The government have been scaring the people shitless, to control them. It's been Project Fear on steroids. I am extremely resentful of this new level of government control in our lives, and the way they tell us as little as they can get away with, while cunningly turning the public against each other; they're probably reading Mumsnet and thinking "yep, the little people are fighting, just like we need them to be". It's been smoke and mirrors from the start. They no doubt got the police to make some token appearances early on, but the public have worked out that the only power the government really has is keeping things closed. I was surprised at first they didn't pounce on Leicester at once with a lockdown, to show who's boss, but perhaps they think the public have worked out that there's not much real power, other than keeping things closed.

We've got to stop calling it a "new normal", and challenge anyone who does. It's a TEMPORARY normal. Calling it a new normal is fucking gaslighting.

And I wish the government would talk more definitely about WHEN we'll have our freedoms back, even if they end up saying "sorry, we were wrong". The way they keep tantalising us with "some things will be allowed to reopen on 4th July, we'll tell you which ones next week" (while they're probably deciding by pulling them out of a hat). It would be nice if they said "we really hope that by September, there will be no need for social distancing, so schools can reopen"; instead of all the lies and spin, and playing for time. They probably mentioned the term-time fines to deter people from booking holidays in September. If they'd made some sort of provisional timetable early on, and told us about it, I might have had some respect for them; it's just they're so afraid of backtracking, that they say as little as possible.

If all these restrictions are supposedly in the interest of public health, why is there no opening date in sight for gyms and swimming pools? It seems like only yesterday the government were telling us that we're all too obese, and need to exercise more. But no, they're sending us to McDonalds and the pubs instead, those shining examples of public health.

It is difficult at present, more so for some than for others for a variety of reasons.

I totally get where you are coming from. I am an extrovert, suffer mental health challenges and find socialising takes the pressure off and really helps me. I always like to get away for weekends, holidays and festivals. I have an incredibly difficult home life. All these things help me. Having them taken away I have found really difficult and life is a day to day struggle now.

We all cope with things in different ways. We all like and need different things. Some may like to not get out and socialise and be happy doing things at home and may really love this way of life whereas for others it is immensely challenging. There is however no need to put others down as can be seen on this thread and other threads because some are finding things harder than others. Unless we actually walk in another's shoes it isn't really comparable.

OP I hear you and feel the same way. It feels dark and hard and the fun has been sucked out of life. Hang in there and hopefully, things will start to get back to 'normal' again.... good luck

Its not great for mental health when people are always saying "we are all going to get it". Does anyone know where the idea that we need 80% for herd immunity has come from? i HATE to be the person to bring up the spanish flu but it is estimated that it infected 1/3 of the global population and 1/4 of uk over 2 years, though I understand the elderly had some immunity. So either it died off after a lower level of herd immunity or just burnt itself out. Has there been any other pandemics where 80% of a population have been infected? Is there actually any reason to assume we are all going to get it?

I cope better when I have terrible expectations. So I'm not expecting things to feel 'normal' again before early 2022, and even that is probably too optimistic. 2024 wouldn't surprise me.

Sorry am not a dementor & will be delighted to be very wrong. Like I said, I only cope with life when my expectations are fairly terrible.

I try to remember that not everyone experiences things the same way.

Exactly. Which is why I find it really surprising when people say (as someone did upthread) that they don't know a single person who isn't finding it traumatic and hard.
The death toll and the suffering of those who are seriously ill or financially or mentally badly affected are terrible. But there certainly are people (like me) for whom the effects of lockdown have personally been non-stressful or even actually enjoyable.

Starting a thread saying "Isn't lockdown life great!" would be offensive and insensitive. But when OPs actually ask for opinions on whether the world is going to hell and life as we knew it is ending, I think that it's fair enough to point out that lots of people are actually doing ok.

@MoreW1ne

Some people are obviously quite sheltered and have never faced adversity. So its natural that many will struggle to initially cope with this challenge.

You'll be surprised how quickly you'll be able to bounce back. You have more strength than you realise.

Very patronising comment.

I've had masses of challenges and adversity in my life and I still struggle to cope with social distancing because I have spent the last 4 months not coming within 2m of anyone and not seeing any friends or family.

How you will cope depends on your individual circumstances.

@YaYaDingDong i didnt think we cpuld have people in our houses yet?

Op i am with you on this one
Was thinking about it today and all our plans are put on hold
My teenagers have missed out on so much already and cant plan for their futures

The best thing I’ve found is to accept this year & period of time for what it is.

Yes. We've written off 2020. I've spent a quarter of it mostly at home and should be enjoying a sundowner on a Greek island as we speak. It is depressing (as is the weather at the moment so that doesn't help either).

But while we're twisting in the wind at the moment, I think - hope - this time next year, we'll be looking back at 2020 in disbelief that this ever happened.

@eagle really you cant judge how this affects people
Your not even in the uk and have a lit more freedom than we do
Not being able to see my nan as shes shielding and hearing how uoset she is
My kids not being able to move on with their lifes as its all on hold , exams and thing impacts that will affect them all their lifes
Not seeing the rest of my family and not being able to properly , no all family get togethers as thats not allowed
Holidays lost
Weddings lost
People have every right to moan and be upset with the current situation
And also many have lost loved ones to this virus

@lazylinguist so as a teacher you must understand how my year 10 is feeling knowing he will have to sit exams next year
Yes sure 6 months if no real teaching wont have an affect on him

6 months of no real teaching is a bit of an exaggeration - sounds like half a year when it is really a third (one term) and hopefully your Y10 is now getting some face-to-face teaching. I do understand, I am secondary teacher and have a Y12 DS and a first year uni DD who's had a term of nothing that has cost her £3000. To be honest I have been so worried about Y10&12 but after seeing them back at school Y12 are my real worry. So flat and down whereas Y10 rather more upbeat.

Like everything in life - if you look at all the negatives of the situation you're in it will feel like shit.

If you look for the positives or create positives it will feel much easier.

If I sat here and made a list of all the negatives of this situation it would really bring my mood down. So I don't. I make a mental list of all the positives and create positives and as a result am irritatingly positive about the whole thing.

And I say this from a household where we both became unemployed due to the pandemic.

@Porcupineinwaiting I worked my maths out from the number of confirmed cases. So if 1 in 20 confirmed cases had long lasting effects that's just over 15, 600 people. The entire population of the country hasn't had corona so you cant say 3 million have long lasting effects.

Smunt is a very useful description that I have learned recently and there are some good examples on this thread.

If you look for the positives or create positives it will feel much easier

That's not neccessarily true, at least not for everyone.

Some situations just are shit, and there really aren't any positives. Pretending otherwise - and putting pressure on yourself to 'think positive' - can lead to stress and further unhappiness for many people. Sometimes it's healthier, not to mention more realistic, to acknowlege that this is absolute crap, that's it's OK to feel unhappy about it, but that it will pass.

Barbara Ehrenreich's book 'Smile or Die' gives a very good analysis of the tyranny of enforced 'positivity'. It's especially prevalent in the US, but it's become more common here too in recent years.