Kids playing together

[SunshineSally46]

I have seen no end of photos on social media lately of people allowing kids from different households to play together. Although the rules state we can now meet up outside I thought the 2 meter distancing rule still applied yet these kids are hugging and playing together in paddling pools and things like that. It's not ok yet is it?

My dc would love to see their friends but even though they are older I can't guarantee they will all keep their distance when excitable and playing so I haven't let them yet. Have you?

User I think you will find it is not just me. Most people don’t just have one child to consider.

You still haven’t answered how long I should hide away my other two children?

@olivehater how can people risk assess sending their dc back to school when they believe other children are socialising in their bubble and families only.
How dare you think your child’s right to play in the woods is more important than another child’s right to an education, their parents have risk assessed according to people not breaking the law, as being safe.

Also some people will have some children in school and some in nursery where they certainly don’t social distance.

A children to be banned from going back to nursery if they have a sibling in School?

The point is you have made the decision for your child, I have no issue with this. Presumably everyone you are interacting with feels the same so everyone is happy with the risks. Socialisation is really important and I’m not judging it.

But you can not make this decision for me or for anyone else. What you do has an impact on others the minute you send one of your children back to school.

And as for not going out to work - this isn’t an option. Even if I quit the notice period now runs to Christmas. There are many staff who are themselves in the vulnerable category working as well, you know. Our LA has made them all come in as we don’t have enough staff without them. I am asking that you accept that it’s a community effort and follow the rules for the sake of everyone in the community, when and if your child’s school opens.

@beela

Yes will be doing the same. Balancing my child’s need for social development with the assessment that this is much, much safer for all involved than the legally-permitted options available to us.

no of course it’s not her first choice, it’s not for my twins either. But if that choice saves lives then it’s a choice worth making.

And that's what I've been doing with mine too. Since March. It's shit, it's been horrible, it's having very obviously bad effects on my child, but we have been putting up with it for the greater good. And we would continue to put up with it if there was some clear end in sight, especially now that adults are getting their lives back.

But. If the government is not going to provide an end in sight for children then yes I am going to start making my own decisions here. There is a limit to how long I'm prepared to do this to my child when adults are getting to go out to shops and Costa and garden centres and golf courses already.

Hang on! Guidelines say you can meet up outside with up to 6 people did I miss the bit it said this applies to adults only if children are out with a few friends without adult supervision then you would assume that they are old enough to understand not to touch each other. This isn't breaking any rules at all. I dont believe that for 1 second that any of us who have been out and about shopping/working/walking down a road even have not once been less than 2m to someone else. Social distancing is a guideline unless you have a massive barrier around you at all times then you will of course been close to another person at some point.

You still didn’t answer the question so will give up. You clearly think my 4 and 2 year old needs to be locked away forever at the expense of their development when, if ever my 6 year old goes to school. That’s your opinion. I think you will find most families in the real world won’t as seen up thread so I will leave it there as this has turned into a pile on.

Answer mine - why do you get to increase the risk for others?

Locked away forever is hyperbole. I have said repeatedly that I think what you are doing now is fine and I would probably do it if we were all low risk. I would prioritise this over sending any of my children to school to be honest.

Agree children should be playing together as it’s a developmental need, think it’s surprising and bad that the government haven’t addressed this specific point in their guidance to be honest. Especially given the vast majority no longer have schooling to allow for social interaction.

And I’m not piling on to you, I’m explaining how I feel. We are all in different situations and we need to consider that.

Mental health and developmental impact of zero free play with peers and peer interaction for a prolonged period for certain age groups (in particular children without siblings) is doubles detrimental and under normal circumstances would probably trigger queries from the authorities, surely, in terms of abuse/neglect. But such issues are currently no longer of concern it seems, as the only risk that matters is covid....

GoldenOmber What can adults now do that isn't available to children?

Children old enough to be genuinely badly affected by a few months of not seeing other children (I'd say age 3+ though it varies) are old enough to remember to stay 2m apart from other children if they are in small groups, familiar surrounding and supervised by adults. Children over 4 or 5 seem to do it automatically.

Children of 1 and 2 years old need interaction with their parents. They enjoy playing alongside other children but they don't need it to the point that it's worth risking someone's life for.

The school bubbles aren't social distancing because it's too difficult and unfair to get large groups of 4 and 5 year old friends to remember to stay apart and it's harder in group games. I'm guessing that's why there's a limit on 6 people for social gatherings. Schools aren't open for social reasons (primarily), they're open for economic and educational reasons.

Makes the schools being shut all rather pointless really...

@GoldenOmber

no of course it’s not her first choice, it’s not for my twins either. But if that choice saves lives then it’s a choice worth making.

And that's what I've been doing with mine too. Since March. It's shit, it's been horrible, it's having very obviously bad effects on my child, but we have been putting up with it for the greater good. And we would continue to put up with it if there was some clear end in sight, especially now that adults are getting their lives back.

But. If the government is not going to provide an end in sight for children then yes I am going to start making my own decisions here. There is a limit to how long I'm prepared to do this to my child when adults are getting to go out to shops and Costa and garden centres and golf courses already.

Exactly.

My point is that this is much harder on children. A phone call or WhatsApp chat broadly satisfies my need for social interaction. That doesn't do it for small children.

Likewise I can phone someone whenever I want, I have control over my phone. They can only talk if their parents have managed to arrange a time between them.

This whole lockdown must look very different through the eyes of a primary school aged child.

I'd have to be constantly reminding my 4yr old to keep 2m away from her friends and family, it's upsetting and I feel the risk of them playing together outside is very low and the benefits outweigh the risk.

My reception child should hopefully be returning to school soon.

I presume he will be in a bubble. If I assumed all children in this bubble were abiding by the rules, then I think that would make me incredibly naive.

I have assumed many will not be following the guidelines completely, and I am still happy to send him.

I am actually surprised that some of you are surprised at this thread. How long is acceptable to isolate children? I see no end to this for a good while. Not even a playground open for them!

User I don’t think it’s fair to put that on parents that they are increasing the risk to your child. It is one tiny risk of many that your pupils and their families will do and you have to accept that if you go to work. Younger Siblings will go to nursery, parents will be keyworkers in much more high risk situations ( myself included) parents will start going to the beauticians and non-essential shops soon. Everything little thing that everyone does when leaving the house is a risk and my 4 year old playing in the woods with a couple of her friends so she doesn’t turn into a shadow of her former self is an extremely tiny one as studies have continuously shown.
Otherwise you need to tell those parents they can’t go to the hairdresser, they can’t go to primark etc etc. as well.

What can adults now do that isn't available to children?

Well I suppose I COULD send the 5-year-old off to queue up at Ikea or play golf or go to Costa to get herself a cappuccino or have a socially distanced barbecue where she stays sat 6ft apart from all other participants, but come on, these are not activities designed with a 5-year-old's need in mind, are they?

These are things for adults, which we have allowed adults to do even though we appreciate the risk is non-zero (still pretty low though), because we know that adults have needs beyond 'stay alive and don't get Covid'. We don't seem to quite appreciate the same for children.

Here in Scotland playgrounds are meant to be opening in Phase 2, which is mid-June at the earliest. I'll keep mine away from other kids until then (because no, they really are not old enough to stay 2m away at all times and apparently 'try to keep your distance and just don't lick each other' is not going to cut it for the majority on here), and hope that happens. If that part of Phase 2 doesn't happen though then fuck it, I am not prepared to keep my child getting ever more miserable in isolation while I as an adult am able to go to the farmer's market or pop in to the shops in town or do all sorts of things which are less important to my wellbeing than peer interaction is to a child's.

The latest stats from the south west shows the R rate as 1 (they are 10 days old as that's how late they publish them). My children are in bubbles in school/ nursery but we're not doing play dates as well as we are trying to reduce the risk of another peak.

To those who say their children are coping well after 3 months of isolation, that's fine but you really need to understand that many children have been suffering and some aren't coping well at all. Children's mental health is important and many parents are making the understandable decision to prioritise this by allowing children to meet one or two friends outside. The risk is small and the benefit potentially huge.

As a keyworker my kid had been going to nursery and that was great, however they now have more kids back and have gone for the mad marked spaces on the playground approach so no play with peers there, so we have pulled her out and will mingle with one other family - adults distant and kids free play. She’s an only and three years old, her development needs her to play with other kids. It can be caught up later or done online, small world make believe play with other children is essential

That’s great for you NerrSnerr but many children have not been allowed back into school yet due to gvmt restrictions so without play with other children they are still being ignored unlike your children who are lucky enough to be able to attend school. I don’t mean for that to sound adversarial but if your children weren’t accessing school you’d probably be thinking along the same lines in terms of stopping their isolation on your own initiative

DS1 (16) has been meeting friends since it was allowed a few weeks ago, this week he extended to meeting 4 friends at the same time. They went to a quiet park ( no one else there!), kicked a ball and listened to music. It's done the world of good.

DS2 (11) has met a friend at the park - they kicked a ball to each other. I wasn't there, and TBH it unnerved me so much I haven't encouraged him to do it since. He's a sensible boy, but not sure he really understood about not being able to touch anything that belonged to his friend etc

My 4.5 yo did a great job of social distancing with her friends in the park this week. It was lovely to see her enjoying herself so much.