So so SO fed up and bored by home schooling and domesticity!!!

[pjsgalore]

I feel terrible saying this....obviously big love for my two DC, BUT...I'm sooooo sick of having them at home 24/7. Anyone else feeling completely over it?? I quite liked the break from the school run and the general rat race in the beginning, but now I feel utterly trapped by it - and ill at the thought the kids may not even go back in September!!! Pleaes tell me I'm not alone.

I try to count my blessings...(I actually have started saying them out loud in the morning like a mantra!! I have two healthy, happy children, I am grateful we have plentiful food, a nice house, we're not sick, we're okay for money etc etc etc. And I know there are so many people out there in an awful and scary situation...so I feel spoilt and selfish. BUTTTT.

I despise the home schooling thing - I find it a horrible mixture of tedious and stressful), I hate having zero time to myself EVER and the constant noise of my two DC (9 and 6) and the endless making of and cleaning up after food, and the always clean dishwasher.

I'm a freelance writer and am so lucky I've been able to not HAVE to work during this period - but I miss doing something with my brain so much. But if I try to take something on I then get super snappy with the children and feel guilty and stressed. So although I'm bored of the drudgery - I find the WFH thing impossible too!!! And I'm also in the middle of trying to write a book - but my creativity has gone awol and I have NO TIME. As my bottom heads for the chair it's like a homing signal for the children - MUM can we have a snack! Mum how do I do this sum, MUM MUM MUM MUM. ARRGHHHHHHH.

Please please someone moan with me!!!

My kids have both gone back to school this week. I can’t tell you how much happier we all are. They’re loving being back and I feel free from the drudgery. I could have written the op’s post word for word last week but it’s now totally changed. Thank fuck. It’s unnatural for school age children to spend this much time with their parents. In any society they’d be off their with peers.

Op - you describe just how I feel.

My demise into just wanting it to be over, co incided with a big project coming to an end. So maybe now I have the time and I didn't before. Now its just home schooling, feeding, cleaning, tidying and feeling guilty my kids are watching, plus never being alone ever and I just want them to go back to school. It would be good for all of us.

I haven’t read the replies, but you are not alone!! I’m currently hiding in my car in the drive. My ds keeps FaceTiming me as he can’t find any food

Solidarity OP.

Homeschooling is virtually non existent in our house at the moment! We do a bit of maths, a bit of reading and maybe some English if DD is agreeable. Plus, we watch Bitesize. DD is Y1 and could've gone back but school didn't really tell us anything about it, so she's at home still! She's bright enough and I'm not too worried academic wise, but the days are so long!

And it would probably be fine if it was just DD, but we/I have nearly 2yo DS to contend with and he's an absolute nightmare. Not all the time (well...), but as soon as I'm trying to help DD with something, he loses his mind with jealousy, or chooses that second to need me for something. He's trying to drop his nap and doing a terrible job of it, and I'm so burnt out with juggling the two of them, now. DD's attitude is poor, mostly because she's feeling neglected, and DS is a demon toddler.

DH is WFH and I'm trying to keep them out of his way as much as I can, but that just adds to the pressure. He's not being an arsehole about it but I can tell we do disturb him sometimes. It's so hard!

Yes completely fed up here too. Feel so tired and lazy all the time and so unmotivated. I'm absolutely shattered every day from the constant noise between my dd and our dog barking at everyone walking by.

I feel your pain. It's like one big long groundhog day. My reception dd has become grumpy and full of tantrums. I'm lucky if I can get her to do 10 mins school work every day. My other dd in year 3 manages an hour at a push but some days I have to resort to bribery to get any work done. It just feels like walking through treacle some days. I yearn for some time to myself. Even the cat pops her head round the door if I go to the bathroom. I start back work next week in the evenings and even though the days will still all blend into one ,it will be nice to have some adult company again in the evening.

My cleaner was back today and I can finally not do the housework!! The house is sparkling.
DH is still on cooking duty though so I can sit with my feet up.
Roll on the schools going back, we're still doing the teacher role as well as our own jobs though

Same. Newly single parent. Started a job just after ex fucked off then lost it earlier this year. Started my own business which was doing well but has now tanked. I am on my own with two primary aged kids, one of whom has ADHD. Ex took them loads at first, but has been stepping down his time with them more each week so I'm getting less and less time to myself. The time he has them is bliss but mostly consists of catching up on housework and sleep. When I have them I am trapped in the house and increasingly less motivated to do .... Anything.
I'm usually the most social, outgoing, touchy feely person around and the first two months I felt raw with wanting company. Now I am beginning to feel numb, anti social, sullen. I don't want to talk to anyone. I don't want cuddles from the kids. I just want to lie in the dark and do fuck all.
I am sick of the noise. Sick of the mess. Sick of constant worry about money, the future, a job. Everything feels futile.

I think I might actually be borderline depressed. But I don't care that much.

I was doing ok as I kept holding onto the thought it's not forever and any stuff the kids haven't learned will be caught up on when they return to school in August (in Scotland). Then the bombshell was dropped about this "blended learning" and the realisation that home schooling, in some form is here to stay.

Now stressed about how I can juggle 2 kids at different schools, having no idea what days they will be at school etc, and how school transport will work for my eldest, all the whole wondering how I will be able to do all that and work.

They need to be back to school. I can see big changes in both of them and they (and me, it turns out) need routine.

Oh yeah. And DD "back to school" so ex and in laws seem to think I should be kicking back and having a rest now, not seeking to take it on board that it's about 5 hours for one day a week. Sigh.

I hear you. Absolutely adore my children too.
It’s just so relentless. We are also in a ridiculous situation of being in rented accommodation; a cheap apartment with no garden, no fixed internet as our house was getting a much saved for/ longed for renovation. So stuck here while our other place makes slow progress..
I, like others here had been a Sahm for years and had just gotten back into working.... back into proper running again after a few years break etc. That great stage where youngest was happy in nursery and older dcs in school. I have a brilliant dh but he is up the walls with work out of the house and the evenings I have no motivation.
Now less money when we need it more , absolutely no time. My youngest is two so it’s absolutely impossible to do anything that lasts more than 5mins, homeschooling is extremely difficult and the fact that all amenities closed , no playgrounds, no pools, Libraries, can’t pop into shops etc, it’s so incredibly limiting and frustrating.
Does anyone else feel tired all the time? I just feel like I’m loosing motivation for anything and it’s not like me at all. I just can’t deal with not knowing when this is going to end, the idea of blended learning in September or very part time school is just something I can’t even think about now.

Yes I keep hitting this wall. Have a few days of being ok, throw in a few low ones and some bored as shit ones too. Now the weathers crap it makes everything that little bit harder

Me too, and the guilt for feeling like it too. So bored with trying to get them out for walks. (in a flat) Bored with the schooling (and am an ex primary teacher!) Frustrated with Microsoft teams and Google classroom- think it would be better on paper as they get distracted on screens.

DC seem to have adapted to living totally online and are both chatting to friends through these headphones (they are older DC) and we seem to be getting more and more slovenly too, watching crap TV in the evenings and it all just seems to go on and on...

Also I am annoyed with the schools starting to copy me in on emails such as if work missed or music lessons missed or projects need done (secondary now feels like have the role of some kind of teenage PA!

Year 10 going back in two weeks for 2hrs a week Yay (not)

I have found my people. It has become utterly horrendous and I can no longer see any positives to the situation. Have seen a real downward turn in the mental health over both DC over the past 3 weeks. Not even the brilliant weather has prevented that. Genuinely worried about the next 10 days of rain.

I can relate so much to this thread! The whole situation sucks. The things that I am finding it hardest to deal with are the lack of motivation and lack of self control of my kids. I then feel a total failure as a parent that they do not seem to have these. They have to be forced to do a minimal amount of home learning and sports practice. If it isn’t watching absolute shit on YouTube / playing shitty games on my phone, making a mess or eating junk food they seem to have no interest in it. I KNOW it is shit but just wish they could wise up and realise how lucky they are and use this time to at least try to improve things / study / get better at stuff. So, so infuriating and I have no idea how to teach them this.

Then I hear people talk about loving this time together. Ugh. I love time together but also we all desperately need time apart.

It is surely healthy to have time apart and developing independence, not all being copped up together for months on end.

DD had a big meltdown yesterday over a writing task to chronicle the lockdown to date. She has reached her limit (in fairness it seems a stupid task IMO, loads of kids who have done nothing and have felt all different kinds of emotions they dont want to relive) and so today she has been out on her bike most of the day, read her new magazine and played animal crossing.

I feel you OP.

What's the answer ladies; I'm literally falling apart at the seams, and from the looks of things school won't be full time until spring 2021. I'm in tears most days, just don't know what to do. Nothing makes my kids happy now. YouTube and Junk Food are the only times they aren't raging :(

Agree. I’m back in more next week and then on but fed up of Groundhog Day every day. Noise, DH getting on my nerves and the same routine every day. Boring. I don’t get how anyone can enjoy a life of the same the thing day after day

Haven’t read all the replies but I totally sympathise!
I’m a single mum to a 4 year old preschooler and working from home full time and I’m constantly on calls.
Today I literally sat with my head in my hands for about 15 minutes just crying out of frustration. I feel so tired and up a height constantly.

Does anyone else feel extreme mummy guilt too? My son is constantly on an ipad, watching YouTube Or just playing by himself and I feel so so sad.

I wish we were back in some kind of routine and I could palm him off to granny’s for the night! 😂

Yep, huge guilt here. I’m in a situation where I am working out of the house for two days a week so have loads of ‘free’ time to be with the kids. Feel guilty that I cannot manage to engage them and that despite having this time I cannot get anything done but the basics as every 2 minutes it is time to have another meal or snack. Constantly tidying.

People trying to work from home full time have my admiration - I think if that is the case you really just have to focus on survival . Anything else is probably not feasible at this time.

I could have written this post word for word. Same age children and also freelance. It's the bastard homeschooling that is horrifying me. The thought of this going on for months and months. Neither of mine will let me help the other without interrupting. Everyone is miserable. I felt we were coping better before half term. But the break was so lovely without the stress of trying to get them to work and then coming back to it this week with the prospect of it going on and on is soul destroying. I could cry writing this.

Just regurgitating something I posted on another thread earlier as it fits this one:

I can't remember when I was last in my own house on my own. Even little stuff like putting the radio on in a stereo effect through the house doesn't happen because of DS1's sensory issues and DH frequently getting calls from work.

I feel empty and just existing. I doubt that I'm depressed (I'm not despondent or hopeless), just purposeless (other than the blasted attempts at home schooling). The house is a shit tip because 2 children (inc autism and dyspraxia involved) my motivation for housework is not the best and is totally stymied by not being able to bang on some tunes and get on with it, and knowing it's going to be undone within minutes without even some respite until 3:25 pm. I need a structure of external motivation. DH says "tell yourself to do it by... reward yourself by..." that's never made any sense because my brain just says, "fuck that, I can do it anyway" and " so what if I don't do it". I need a fear of urgency, and there is zero of that. I just feel like I'm drowning in featureless time and the void of eternal procrastination.

With a 9yo with autism, dyslexia and dyspraxia, we can have days where we can get 2 meltdowns before writing what day of the week it is. His younger sibling is 7 and just not a mature learner and takes advantage of my attention being on DS1 to slip off to play or click random links. Quite honestly I'm patting myself on the back for getting anything out of them. They need their peers to share ideas with and role model. DS1 is happy off school and finds school tough, and I worry that the longer he is off, the harder it will be to integrate back in to normal levels of busyness and social stimulation. DS2 is sociable and dearly missing his friends and school. They are very fortunate to have each other close in age and interests but, it's too much, too intense on either of them.

They love things like scouting but can't cope with doing it at home in an abstract environment.

I desperately hope that they can have some time in school to punctuate the time between March and September or whenever as it is just a meaningless void of existence at present.

Feel exactly the same here OP and can relate to everyone on this thread. Half term was sort of OK but trying to get back into home schooling and work this Monday has been soul destroying. I am fed up to the back teeth of everything. No motivation. Nothing to look forward to. Learning resistant child giving me grief every day.

I had chest pains and palpatations a few weeks ago and spoke to a 111 operative who sent an ambulance! Ambulance people thought it was anxiety but said they would like to take me down to A&E to get checked out. They started apologising profusely about the fact that I had to go on my own and couldn't have anyone come with me etc. I was like "not a problem for me" and breezed out the house for some ME time down at A&E. Seriously, one of the most relaxing days I've had all lock down. Had lots of tests, bit of a laugh with the nurses and some sandwiches brought to me on a little plate and a nice cuppa. Read my book. Played on my phone. No one hassling me. No making meal after meal. No raging fits about fractions with a 8 year old. It was bliss. Tests were all fine. Basically having somekind of lockdown stress induced anxiety attack. I even started thinking that a worst case scenario of a heart attack might have its up side if it involves a few nights away from my domestic prison.

I look back fondly on my special lockdown day out at A&E ..... That's how warped its become for me.

Hang in there everyone.