Employer wants me to WFH looking after 1 yr old FT?

[PopandFizz]

Hi,
I'm due to return from maternity in September and had a catch up call with my boss last week and he said that we will all be WFH for the rest of the year to ensure employee safety. Fair does.
But then when I said I dont think I can get a nursery place there is no provision for this. Simply that I'll have to look after my 1 year old whilst WFH. My job is very detail based and I'm baffled at how he thinks this is an option.
Am I naive from being on mat leave to think this is wrong? Is this what people are doing?

The whole premise of this thread is ridiculous really. Working from home while also looking after young children is really bloody hard work and unsustainable, the only reason any of us are doing it is that the government forced childcare providers to close, and the good employers have been understanding. But there's no way on earth you could expect employers to be so understanding THREE MONTHS after childcare providers have been allowed to reopen. And there's no way I would choose to attempt both working from home and doing childcare if I had the option not to.

I've said it before and I'll say it again. Just find a childminder! (Or a nursery or nanny). You have 3 months. It's what all working parents have to do (unless they have family who can do childcare).

@OP

If you want support ask for it. If you want flexible working you have to ask for it. Can you imagine the thread 'AIBU to be outraged my boss has given me flexible working just cause I'm a mother, he doesn't do this to men returning from paternity leave, stinks of sexism' or similar.

"we understand you might not be able to deliver as much work / if you cant attend calls because baby needs you that's ok"

This is frankly ridiculous - they can't give you the green light to do less work than your colleagues/not have the same expectations of you just because you're a mother. They can exercise some discretion in that if one day you're slightly less productive you can explain the reasoning to your manager and they can choose to accept it as a one off (we all have off days), or if one day you can't attend a meeting because your baby really needs you (we all experience unpredictable emergencies).

But you can't routinely expect to do less work on a full time wage. If you want to do less work consistently you have to go part time, even if that means still doing 5 days but doing 6 hours per day (30 hours a week) so you can fit both childcare and work into your day. You can't routinely expect to be excused from calls because then you are not fulfilling part of your job role. If you want to not have to do calls you have to approach your employer about changing your role.

This is your problem, then onus is on you to sort it out. You can absolutely ask for support in doing this but you have to ask for it, you can't just expect it. You have to be proactive. You have 3 months to find a solutions, use this time.

it would cost us more financially for him to lose a couple of days than it would for me to leave my job.

Once again, it doesn't have to be 'losing' days. He could request to work from home for a couple of days and then you could team up / take turns on the childcare. Has your husband offered to do this? Or does he only want to consider solutions where it's your working pattern that changes?

If childcare is available, as it likely will be in sept, then it is your choice not to send your little one to nursery. As understandable as that choice is, it is unreasonable to expect your employer to accept less output from you and flexibility if they cannot offer everyone that; how do you think the rest of your team would feel about that, honestly? Do they offer any sort of tapered return to work? Can you use leave you have accrued to do shorter weeks to start with? I hope you find a solution that works for you, but it's reasonable enough they are happy for you to work with a child at home, many only have allowed it whilst childcare hasn't been an option and people have had to.

Also agreed that your DH should be thinking of solutions in regard to what his work can offer him in terms of flexibility.

Regarding DH, it would cost us more financially for him to lose a couple of days than it would for me to leave my job.

But if he drops a day or two you can continue to build your career, develop skills and grow your salary - as can he albeit at a slower rate than he might want. If you both take a bit of a hit in the short term, you can both build on your careers while having a child at home. If you stop you leave yourself very vulnerable financially and potentially will face significant barriers returning to the workplace. Short term pain for long term gain.

What would you do if your DD is ill during her childhood? I suspect you would want to take time off to be with her and not share the burden with your DH because you both consider his job more important. What does that say to YOUR employer? This situation is no different. You are expecting your employer to take the financial and productivity hit and your DH's employer gets a very good deal out of it. Your company is effectively subsidising his.
If you can't work this out between you it might be better for your company if you resign now. Sorry to sound harsh but you can't have your cake and eat it.

I'm working at home with toddlers. I share the day with my partner so we each get between 4-5 hours work done. It's hard to concentrate but you get used to it.

I just focus on the positive angle that I'm seeing my children all day every day!

If DP is a high earner why don’t you get a nanny? I don’t think you’ve answered this question. It would be the perfect solution.

What about a childminder? Can hubby help out?