Employer wants me to WFH looking after 1 yr old FT?

[PopandFizz]

Hi,
I'm due to return from maternity in September and had a catch up call with my boss last week and he said that we will all be WFH for the rest of the year to ensure employee safety. Fair does.
But then when I said I dont think I can get a nursery place there is no provision for this. Simply that I'll have to look after my 1 year old whilst WFH. My job is very detail based and I'm baffled at how he thinks this is an option.
Am I naive from being on mat leave to think this is wrong? Is this what people are doing?

I'm working full time with a 1 year old, as are all of my friends with kids. No one's furloughed or on reduced hours.

It's miserable, but you work before they get up, when they nap, and after they go to bed. You'll basically have your phone in your hand the whole time.

Your employer won’t be able to put you on furlough in September. Last date for new people to enter scheme is 10 June.

Have you taken 12 months of Mat leave? Could you extend it to Jan? Otherwise do you not have annual leave you could use?

Otherwise You are options will be wfh with no childcare (like majority of working parents have had to do). Try and find some childcare (childminder, nursery etc). Seek to reduce hours. Take unpaid leave.

The furlough scheme is drawing to a close. Your employer may be happy to reduce your hours if asked. How much pay are you looking to drop? You could also ask for an extension to your maternity leave as unpaid leave, so you can look after your child.

As others have said, a lot of people have been doing this for months now. Furlough not an option in some firms/occupations. It’s shit and tiring and hard and stressful - check out any of the other threads on wfh with small children! If your employer is not the understanding type then if you can find any nursery then do it. Or take unpaid parental leave if you can, or use annual leave. Good luck!

There's thousands of working parents in this situation. Nurseries will be open and some will have places by Sept...others will be loosing jobs so cancelling places etc You,ll need to phone round and ask

Okay thank you all for your input. I'm sure a lot of you remember living in the maternity bubble so when I looked at friends solutions my employer seemed unreasonable but clearly not in the grand scheme of things.

My daughter has had 4 surgeries so far in her little life so I felt like if my employer thinks it's too dangerous for me to return to the office how can I consciously decide to send her to nursery. But that is a totally different issue.
Thanks all.

It’s quite depressing that so many women have simply accepted this injustice and will just say to others ‘suck it up’. Employers here are on the whole shit with parents, and the inevitable consequence of this will be women being forced back into the home come September.

If you have a DP, can you do your work evenings & weekends, to share childcare ?

Popandfizz although other people are facing the same situation, a decent manager would at least spend time talking through the options with you.

I’m working from home with a 3 and 6 year old. However I have a very kind boss who won’t mind if i need to do odd hours, slightly under hours etc so long as I’m doing as much as I can.

If your expected to work 9-5 being available for calls and zoom meetings that’s going to be near impossible with a small baby. It’s one thing if you have a boss who is willing to give some flexibility but if not that’ll be hard.

Hope you manage to get something sorted.

I wonder if there is a local nanny who you could hire to work in the home a few hours day, maybe less risky than putting daughter into nursery or asking your parents.

What solutions have friends been offered? Because I don't know of any except furlough (which won't be an option by September) or making do as best you can while WFH - and almost everyone I know (including me) has been the latter. I'm actually surprised your boss said you can WFH with her in a scenario where nurseries have reopened - employers have had to accept people working while looking after children in the current situation but I imagine that patience with that is going to grow very thin once childcare has been open for a while. I had to tell my boss that I don't think we'll have a nursery place until late June and she wasn't thrilled.

Have you looked in to nursery places? Round here they're normally oversubscribed (I reserved a place a year in advance), but now they're desperate for children to fill empty spaces.

Other than that - unfortunately there's no easy answer. You wfh with a 1 year old (incredibly difficult, loads of people have been struggling through), you sort childcare or you take annual/unpaid leave.

You still have several months to plan ahead for a nursery place. We are moving house next month (different county) and I've had no trouble arranging a nursery place in the new area. My youngest is starting back at his previous nursery tomorrow and then will transfer to the new one next month. There will be lots of school leavers for September, so most nurseries open up lots of new places then. Just get on the waiting list now.

Otherwise, you just manage like everyone else does. I've been working from home since mid-March with a 2 & 7 year old. 2 year old going back to nursery (only part-time as that's all they could while maintaining bubbles) and 7 year old is home with me I'm sure until at least September (and that's being hopeful!).

Dh and I balance it between us and have still managed to continue working. Probably neither of us works our usual hours, but employers have to be understanding of that so long as childcare and schools are not operating at normal capacity. I'm expecting to carry this one pretty much until the new year. You just manage.

Sorry previous post froze for 20 mins, I see your update in the mean time answered some questions! Yes unfortunately furlough won't be an option - when that ends in October then there will be a new swathe of parents working out what to do I expect.

Childminders could be a good option. Smaller numbers, easier to wash hands, chose one with lots of outside time etc.

Have you got a trusted friend who doesn't work or wo works part time and you could maybe take it in turns to look after her child and she yours?

@ScarfLadysBag

Yes, several of my friends are working from home while also looking after their toddlers. Not ideal but they're just having to manage: starting very early while Dad looks after baby (one friend is starting at 6am and works solidly till midday, for example, and then swaps with her husband) using nap times, letting them play independently while getting bits done, etc.

By September I would have thought there would be nursery or childminder options though.

Planning your work as above is probably your best bet if you want to keep full time hours and you don't want to use nursery for a while because of the medical risks.

On the plus side, you will be saving an absolute fortune in nursery fees - see if you can use some of that money to make things easier at home - different toys so you can rotate them easily for variety, playpens in more than one room, better home office equipment for you, extra storage to make rooms safer - anything to make the whole process easier. Really good planning will help a bit.

I think it could all work well if you can find a local childminder. I would have loved to have worked from home (with childcare in place) instead of commuting an hour each way when DDs were little.

Honestly, since you cannot enter the furlough scheme at this stage, then the option that your boss is giving is the best one.

The other options are that he says you need to find childcare and work in the office, take unpaid leave, reduce your hours or leave your job tbh.

To have an employer who is allowing you to work your hours whilst looking after your child is actually a really good position to be in. Most people I know who are doing this tend to do what they can during nap times during the day, but actually work most of their hours in the evening after their child has gone to bed and over the weekend. Obviously your DP (if you have one) needs to pull his weight too.

Personally, I'd be making contact with nurseries and getting your name down. September is 3 months away and everything might be very different then, so make sure you have your name down on as many waiting lists as you can because things might well be much more "normal" and lower risk by then.

Is her dad on the scene? Can he take some leave/condense hours/work from home?

Op can you afford 3 months unpaid cos that would be my grist choice, extend Mat leave. Or do you have any Al to use?

Is the Dad around?

and I just know hes going to try and have me over a barrel on my output when I'm trying to juggle both.

And? He will be paying your wages so why is it surprising that he expects you to actually work for it? Your childcare issues are not his problem.

I think my boss is accepting her being around whilst I WFH cos he has a 4 yr old at home atm. His mrs is due a baby September though so feel his patience with the idea may run out once it isnt his problem anymore (he is a bit like that).

Dad works FT, for him to take time off he would have to withdraw from some projects (his work is client based) and that would likely put him out of running for the promotion/payrise he is up for next year. He earns substantially more than me so if we are 'protecting' someones career it would be his.

I've no clue how those doing it have the energy to child care all day and work all night! Super heroes.

@Redolent yes feminism is taking a huge step back thanks to covid! All my female friends are doing the primary care even those that are the higher earners and a key worker!

I’m sorry, but your lack of childcare is not your employer’s problem, it’s yours

You are very unlucky that your nursery has closed and none near you are accepting new children.

Our nursery is accepting new babies (mine was due to start before lockdown and they have said he could start next week), and surely by September they will be expecting children to go to school so all “the bubbles” will be changing then?

Childminder sounds like your best bet and if you are worried about risk, there will be less children in the setting that a nursery so will suit you better.

Yes he may have a ft higher role but is equally as able to ask for flexible working as a parent..,I know many couples that do compressed 4day weeks to reduce childcare needs is that an option?
Some of this loss of equality is happening as people not looking as a pair responsible to sort just assuming women will pick up the slack....

Feminism isn’t taking a step back in my house. I am the higher earner, DH is doing most of the childcare.