Employer wants me to WFH looking after 1 yr old FT?

[PopandFizz]

Hi,
I'm due to return from maternity in September and had a catch up call with my boss last week and he said that we will all be WFH for the rest of the year to ensure employee safety. Fair does.
But then when I said I dont think I can get a nursery place there is no provision for this. Simply that I'll have to look after my 1 year old whilst WFH. My job is very detail based and I'm baffled at how he thinks this is an option.
Am I naive from being on mat leave to think this is wrong? Is this what people are doing?

Actually thinking about it wfh is a gift really, being forced to go to the office would be impossible.

You’re making it out that your boss is being dreadful, but what exactly do you want?!

You don’t want to go back into the office.
You don’t want to work from home.
You don’t want your child to go to nursery as it’s not safe.

Sounds like you fancy being furloughed (which won’t be happening) and paid 80% whilst you stay at home!

Your boss sounds perfectly reasonable.

Your dh can still protect his job and ask for some flexible working.

I am WFH full time in a very demanding job and looking after 11mo baby, not easy but doable.

It’s not your employer s problem it’s yours. If you were going back to the office in September, but the nursery you chose is closed and your parents can’t help what would you have done? Taken unpaid leave? Reduced hours? Shared parental leave with your dh? All those options are still available

Lots of people are having to change how they work and their childcare. It’s your problem, No one else’s

If your dh is at home and you can’t get childcare then you need slots with one of you starting early. It is hard work and involves doing work out of normal working hours but if the baby is napping you should get some time in the day. We’re knackered but it’s just about possible .

The furlough scheme ends in October anyway - you're lucky that your employer has said you can WFH with a child there - most contracts state you can't work from home in place of childcare. (Current pendemic being the exception!) the majority of nurseries and childminders will reopen in September so it will be up to you to find a place even if it's not local - it isn't your employers problem

I'm WFH with a 3 year old and a 1 year old currently. Not ideal but we make it work.

You're just going to have to find a childminder who can take her from September. It's still 3 months away, and the coronavirus restrictions will have relaxed significantly by then.

You might feel more comfortable with a childminder, anyway, since there will be much smaller numbers than at nursery, so less risk of getting ill with coronavirus or anything else (and tbh other illness will be much more likely by that point!)

What were you planning to do after mat leave? Surely you had planned a child minder, nursery? I dont think this is the employer's issue is it? You can resign if you don't want to work?

What about her dad? Can you share working, so it's not all on you?

@Teawiththat

Feminism isn’t taking a step back in my house. I am the higher earner, DH is doing most of the childcare.

Isn't feminism about equality? I mean if that works for you great and it's not an issue, but so many women are in your DHs position and complain about it, that I wouldn't be proclaiming yay feminism because his job is evidently seen as lesser because it's lower paid; like many women who then get lumbered with the majority of childcare.

This was a quick knee jerk response and that’s not the way I meant it to come across.

DH and I have the same job - we are both teachers. But we made the decision together a few years ago for DH to go part time as our youngest has some health issues. DH wanted to do this. So he does more at home and earns less. Prior to that it was 50:50.

Why is your employer's responsibility when your DH isn't taking any responsibility?

You work from home with small children like the rest of us are having to do. It's really shit. It's undooable, but yes that is what the government has said we must do.

It could be worse your manager could have said you have to go in with no childcare.

My employer expects me to wfh full time hours with a toddler, I guess they aren't going to offer you anything else unless you go to them?

Nanny?
The father doesn't want to help (or you haven't asked) and you would like to return to work and get paid.
Nanny is the perfect solution, especially if your child has medical issues.

They sound like a really good employer. There are not many who would/will be happy for anyone to wfh with children around when nurseries etc are open.

Yes I’m not sure what you expect either?
To stay home, not work, get full pay.....how long for exactly?

By September, I would think nurseries will be accepting new children. You also need to look into other options like a nanny or childminder. Could your husband work from home 2 days a week and you drop your hours or work compressed hours? You should have accrued leave but if not, unpaid leave.

There are options, you need to figure out what works for you.

I agree that both you and your DH taking this on jointly sounds like the fairest option. I note the comment about about someone working 6am til noon and the partner from noon onwards. Surely protecting both your careers and sharing this stress is fairest all round.

Wow there's some harsh views on this thread. OP are you able to work some of your hours flexibly? For example could you work when your husbands home (evenings, weekends I'm guessing). I have 3DC the youngest is 1. I work mainly when my partner is home or when the children are sleeping.

it is basically unreasonable to work FT and also be fully responsible for a child (or children) but loads of people are in that position at the moment and have been for months. I'm just thankful mine are not toddlers.

If your DH has secure employment, then I agree with others that he should help out.

Could you both use your annual leave 1 day a week, until the end of the year, so you only have to do 3 days working and juggling childcare? My employer is pretty sympathetic to this issue, but even so most of the parents juggling work and childcare are using some of their leave to cope.

Why is it your employers problem? You have 3 months to arrange childcare. The nurseries reopened yesterday here. A childminder might be a good option or hire a mother's help (cheaper than a full nanny as you are in the house eg a school leaver)

The whole 'bubbles' thing is not sustainable. It is how the Nurseries have started back, this week. It won't be like that in September.

How many other Nurseries have you tried ? I mean, not knowing where / what sort of place you live, it might be a 'one Nursery village', or, if you are in a City, there might be dozens of Nurseries that are realistic. However, a Childminder sounds like a very good option.

The suggestion of a 'Mother's Help' is an excellent one. You aren't giving them full responsibility as you are in the house - so you have a whole new option there that you wouldn't have if working at your usual place of work. There will also be a surplus of University age people who have chosen not to go due to all the uncertainty about what will be provided next year. Plus all the people who have lost their jobs due to the businesses that go bust. This is a genius idea. Some real potential there.

@OP

Genuine question - what do you expect?

Do you expect your employer to pay you the same but not work FT? In which case do you plan to do PT or not work at all?

Do you expect your employer to let you go PT? In which case request this sooner rather than later so all provisions can be made for it?

Do you expect your employer to just not have you work until you have childcare? In which case you need to take some kind of leave (carers, AL ect)

He earns substantially more than me so if we are 'protecting' someones career it would be his.

What a surprise.

^

My thoughts also.

What is your DH doing about the search for nurseries/childcare, or is it all on your plate?