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Covid

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Original poster

Friend issue with corona rules

28 replies

Passthebubbly · 01/06/2020 17:00

So keeping to the rules I visited my friend outside with my kids in her garden. She seemed offended at us keeping 2 meters apart, told me to get a grip when I wouldn’t allow my kid inside to watch tv or use toilet. We brought our own drinks which she laughed at.

She had someone stay at her house the night before that I didn’t know about until I arrived. My fiend has worked all the way through and has seen people in gardens all the way through.

I left bloody annoyed and uneasy at seeing her again whilst this is ongoing. I felt totally ridiculed for following the rules. Am working up to seeing my shielding mother who is sick in. Hospital at the moment as soon as we can so yes probably do follow the rules to the letter. Have you had friendships affected by difference of opinion on this?

OP posts:

glassmister · 01/06/2020 17:02

A nct friend of mine admitted she's been breaking the rules for a while, it's made me see her as selfish.

Original poster

Passthebubbly · 01/06/2020 17:07

Yeah to be honest I felt the same way, she laughed in my face when I wouldn’t let the kids go in the house. I was bloody annoyed in all honesty. My kids had a better grip of the rules than she did. It’s just shocked me as we have never as much as had a argument ever but seen a really different side to her the other day. We are in Scotland so very very new to went wrong phase 1 also

OP posts:

NotEverythingIsBlackandWhite · 01/06/2020 17:21

I was surprised at a family member jumping the gun and seeing someone else at the weekend rather than waiting until the rules changed today.

I was also surprised at one friend throwing a birthday buffet for another and inviting her extended family from several households around in mid May. It was a nice thing to do but nevertheless made me realise that I could never 100% trust her to do the right thing. I just know to avoid her while covid is doing its rounds.

TabbyMumz · 01/06/2020 17:29

Some people just havent taken lockdown seriously. My neighbour has had her new boyfriend appearing and staying overnight on and off right through it. Her daughter has had teenage friends staying overnight right through it and last week friends appeared for drinks in the house. She probably thinks the rest of us are mad.

MadameButterface · 01/06/2020 17:35

"I was surprised at a family member jumping the gun and seeing someone else at the weekend rather than waiting until the rules changed today."

what's so surprising about this? what's magically different about today vs the weekend, except for the fact that people who are still working tend to have more time to socialise at weekends? I'm surprised that anyone is surprised by people adopting the new relaxed rules ahead of time tbh.

imsooverthisdrama · 01/06/2020 17:39

I was surprised at a family member jumping the gun and seeing someone else at the weekend rather than waiting until the rules changed today.
Oh come on that's a bit different to the op , I saw my mum this weekend outside for the first time yesterday instead of today.
The op friend is just ridiculing the whole of lockdown like the virus doesn't insist.
Saw my mum in the garden at a distance not the same thing .

WindFlower92 · 01/06/2020 17:41

I'm so glad to see this thread - I feel like I've gone mad! We went to PILs at the weekend as it was DDs birthday and we just wanted to say hi (they live 2 mins away). Turns out they're having a party with SIL and husband and 3 kids and BIL! Claimed proudly that they were done with social distancing and had hugged and kissed and were now relaxing. Had been drinking all day obviously. Worried now as DD will be looked after by MIL when I go back to work in 2 weeks as we thought it was the less risky option as she isn't working

WindFlower92 · 01/06/2020 17:42

And they all looked at us like we were aliens when we kept our distance! Feel like a weirdo in my own family mow as everyone's stopped caring

Original poster

Passthebubbly · 01/06/2020 17:46

Thank god i am not alone in this was seriously thinking it was me being weird. I am dreading her turning up here I really am

OP posts:

PasserbyEffect · 01/06/2020 17:52

Let's put it that way: there's a reason why wearing a seat belt in a car is mandatory, not just an advice. Before that most people would laugh it off (and some still do...)
I feel social distancing rules are the same... Some people just don't see the point, and will belittle others for "being afraid".
Nasty side of human nature, but not really new, sadly... (given how "elf and safety" is also laughed at in some circles, should we be surprised?)

Original poster

Passthebubbly · 01/06/2020 17:54

Great way of putting it yes. I have been so down about it as she was the first friend I chose to see as my one other household per day now I just can’t be arsed. Father keep my wee family safe and sound

OP posts:

JimandWilson · 01/06/2020 18:19

Yes to this and very helpful to read others experiences. It's a minefield to navigate ourselves out of lockdown - what some people see as safe etc.
Met for a socially distant bbq and picnic at a local park this weekend and a family member just would not keep the 2m distance- seemed to be actively finding excuses to get close to test reactions, ready to aggressively bite with 'you are being so over the top- the risk is so minimal' and get on their soapbox about how it no longer matters and we have all been prisoners...

I'm a bit flabbergasted to be honest and thought people would at least want to look to be trying even if they weren't being vigilant in private (handwashing / watching any news or updates / face masks etc).

I feel more worried now than at the start of lockdown!

LazyDaisy10 · 01/06/2020 18:27

I thought it was just me. My parents seem to think it's all over hyped and did we want to come in for some food when we visited them in their garden. I know my mum has seen friends but I doubt she has kept 2m distance. Its awkward now I dont want to see them but dont want to fall out with them. Everytime I call they are in a supermarket or shop while we have been at home since day 1, popping to shop when we cant get a delivery shot but that's only happened a few times we've been lucky.

BeltaneBride · 01/06/2020 18:36

I feel the opposite- I friend who who I did not think was wussy fussing about 'staying safe'.

PasserbyEffect · 01/06/2020 19:01

@BeltaneBride

I feel the opposite- I friend who who I did not think was wussy fussing about 'staying safe'.

"wussy" "fussing" Nice one

MadameMarie · 01/06/2020 19:45

Some people just don't give a shit.

Up to you if you want to be friends with someone like that. I bet she claps the NHS on a Thursday.

Original poster

Passthebubbly · 01/06/2020 19:53

Her window is full of thanks to nhs pictures. Just really thrown me

OP posts:

curtainsforme · 01/06/2020 19:58

I felt totally ridiculed for following the rules.

She is no friend. Even if she doesn't agree with a strict following if the rules, she did not have to act the way she did towards you. She has belittled you and that it not a friendship.

MadameMarie · 01/06/2020 20:27

@curtainsforme

I felt totally ridiculed for following the rules.

She is no friend. Even if she doesn't agree with a strict following if the rules, she did not have to act the way she did towards you. She has belittled you and that it not a friendship.

If she doesn't give a shit about the virus or following any of the guidance she probably won't give a shit about anyone else.

catsareme14 · 01/06/2020 22:26

I've seen a different side to several people . I've lost respect for some who have broken the lockdown & then clapped for carers. I will quietly distance myself from them . I can only be responsible for my own behaviour , no one else's .

Eckhart · 01/06/2020 22:32

Does she laugh at you and make you feel stupid for other differences of opinion? I don't think it matters that it's about lockdown. Her level of respect for you isn't high enough for her to hope to maintain 'friendship' status with you, surely?

Felicitycity · 01/06/2020 22:45

I 100% agree with you OP. People seem to say it's ok to use common sense. Meaning they can do what they like. Drives me nuts.

NoHardSell · 01/06/2020 22:51

I wouldn't worry, she will be feeling the same way about you. I doubt there will be more meet ups.

Overrunwithlego · 01/06/2020 22:53

passerby the problem with your analogy is that seat belts are, as you state, mandatory (ie there is a legislation that makes them so). The 2m rule is guidance. It is not mandatory, you are not breaking the law and you cannot be penalised (either by way of a fine or more serious penalties) if you don’t follow it. As the legislation brought in today states, you can be stood right next to other people in a 6 person gathering in the park = no law being broken. You can be 2m away to other people in a 7 person gathering = law being broken.

Bimbleboo · 01/06/2020 22:59

Hugely relating to this. We have a neighbour who I have been fairly close friends with for three years. Watched her constantly break the guidance from the start, (always out clapping On a Thursday mind you...) Has had her A&E nurse pal over drinking wine in the garden most weeks when we were in full lockdown (nurse still in her uniform too which blew my mind) and now that measures have been SLIGHTLY relaxed here in scotland, she went to stay at her boyfriends house, her daughter went to stay at her friends and her son had a house party with at least 15 teenagers all drinking in the house. Then this morning the whole family returns to the house and they held a birthday bbq with 10/20 people in between the house and a garden that’s barely 5m squared. She’s mocked me for not going, seems hugely offended and keeps texting me to to say ‘it’s about being sensible now and deciding for yourself, it’s common sense we have to go by now, they’ve said it on the briefing’. Absolutely one of the ones who has cherry picked what she wanted to hear , and uses ‘common sense’ and ‘be sensible’ to mean ‘do what you want now’. Shes spent the last few months adding the phrase ‘social distancing.....’ onto every rule/guidance break in order to somehow make it sound like something different. ‘Come round for a social distance wine..’ ‘yes we are having a social distance bbq’ ‘we could meet for a social distanced takeaway coffee‘. Then huffing with me when I turn her down. I really am worried about this happening with lots of people now. Because I just am not ready to sack it all in yet but don’t want to continue hurting feelings and starting rifts. On top of this (sorry I’m ranting on) she has been in and out of two care homes and a hospital visiting people. So not only is she frequenting the places you are most likely to catch it, she is continually going in to environments full of vulnerable people AFTER she is flouting so much of the Guidance/ rules.

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