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Original poster

Any other shielded people having a rough time.

156 replies

BanKittenHeels · 30/05/2020 10:56

I have now been in the house for 80 days on the advice of my rheumatologist. I then received my shielding letter with the first wave.
I am grateful to have my children with me but my husband is medical, so has been living in a hotel since March. Which is good because he had Covid - thankfully he is now ok.

I had a letter not too long ago to tell me the date for shielding was extended until 30th June but speaking to both my rheumatologist and my respiratory consultant and being a HCP myself, it looks likely I’ll be shielded until the end of the year.

I’m really low, really, really low.
I’m not coping at all.
Social media and the press are full of people almost celebrating, as if this is somehow the end and here we are, just rotting.

And we’re not doing this to save our lives. We are doing this so that other people who are more likely to survive have beds and access to treatment.

No one gives a shit.

OP posts:
2ndtimearound2020 · 30/05/2020 18:12

I am supposed to be shielding as I am in the very vulnerable group.

I did for 8 weeks. I became very depressed and despondent never leaving the house and focusing too much on the news/deaths/covid etc.

I decided several weeks ago to go out for walks - socially distancing to quiet places and immediately felt better. The advice is to stay in and not leave your home BUT at what cost. I decided to take control of me back and do a little differently (still being very careful but not strictly shielding as per my letter)....

I feel SO MUCH BETTER AND MORE IN CONTROL THAN WHEN I FOLLOWED THE SHIELDING LETTER TO THE ABSOLUTE

Just a thought.... maybe go out a little, you may feel a bit more in control - I don't worry what others do now since I do a bit of staying mentally healthy whilst being very careful

Best wishes

Megatron · 30/05/2020 18:25

@CayrolBaaaskin no one needs to be thanking anyone for that, I think it's a given that most people are doing their best. Some, of course, are not.

No one needs to act like a cunt to the OP either, but some still are.

FallenSky · 30/05/2020 19:10

[quote atilathehut]@fallensky Ok in future I shall only voice my opinion if it agrees with yours - is that better? [/quote]
I mean, if that's what you want. Certainly not what I said though, is it?

atilathehut · 30/05/2020 19:21

@fallensky the Ops post was fine until this

And we’re not doing this to save our lives. We are doing this so that other people who are more likely to survive have beds and access to treatment.

My daughter can't sit her GCSEs my friend has lost her job - neither of them would probably have suffered if they got COVID so can i have sympathy with someone who has to shield and is struggling - yes? Can I pretend they have done more than anyone else is in the U.K. and are only doing it to save everyone else - no sorry

MotherofPearl · 30/05/2020 19:22

OP, I think you are fully entitled to feel really angry and frustrated. It is absolutely not fair that you are in this situation.

I have found normal lockdown hard enough. I cannot imagine how tough shielding is. And you should be allowed to come on here and express your feelings about it without 1) people trying to placate you and jolly you along, or 2) dismiss or undermine your experience.

FallenSky · 30/05/2020 19:30

[quote atilathehut]@fallensky the Ops post was fine until this

And we’re not doing this to save our lives. We are doing this so that other people who are more likely to survive have beds and access to treatment.

My daughter can't sit her GCSEs my friend has lost her job - neither of them would probably have suffered if they got COVID so can i have sympathy with someone who has to shield and is struggling - yes? Can I pretend they have done more than anyone else is in the U.K. and are only doing it to save everyone else - no sorry[/quote]
I don't recall anyone saying that those shielding have done more than anyone else. Plus, all those bad things that have happened to people are happening to shielded people too. But it's perfectly fine to say that whilst lockdown is easing, it is not easing for everyone and that is a difficult thing to face. My point to you was that all the things you came on to say have been said in this thread already. It had already been established that the OP is finding it extremely tough at the moment and needed some support. It was not a thread meant to start a debate. In fact it's right there in the title, asking if any others who are shielding are finding it rough. There had already been unpleasantness and othering. There was no reason to add any more to it.

atilathehut · 30/05/2020 19:44

@FallenSky I agree with absolutely everything you say - except the way I read the OPs post was that she felt she was doing more than anyone else. If she did not she didn't have to make that comment.

atilathehut · 30/05/2020 19:45

And for the record I don't think I added anything unpleasant to it other than to say I sympathise with her situation but everyone has had it tough

Madein1995 · 30/05/2020 21:45

I'm sorry for all those who are shielding. It must be scary and tough and hard and horrible

The 'rest' of us arent exactly having the time of our lives though. We dont k ow when this shite show will end either. W
Thousands have risked their MH, their jobs, their education when the risk to them was minute. The slogan was to protect the nhs and the vulnerable. I really dont see it as the vulnerable protecting everyone else, I completely see it the other way around. Because the risk to me for eg is tiny and I. Not too bothered about catching it, yet for the most part I've obeyed lockdown.

The country has effectively shut down and plummeted into economic chaos, peoples lives have been usurped, MH is shocking and kids education halted, for months. Primarily to protect the NHs, which happened, and for the sake of saving vulnerable people

I'm very much of the view that we need to start getting back to some normality, and those vulnerable to it take extra precautions while the rest of us relax a little. It makes sense. Why should we all be miserable? Not that the vulnerable will enjoy lockdown as no bugger is enjoying this current state, but theres nothing else doing as risking it is a death sentence for many. Those who arent at risk, should carry on

0v9c99f9g9d939d9f9g9h8h · 30/05/2020 22:16

Yes sauv, so unkind to suggest doing something to help and finding out the hard way that offering to do whatever would be constructive is Not the Done Thing when someone has decided to have a tantrum moan...

0v9c99f9g9d939d9f9g9h8h · 30/05/2020 22:21

I have a little one who simply cannot get this virus and her world has been turned upside down, like many others. I don't know what I expect of other people exactly but it's certainly not to thank me, allow me to abuse them and then expect help while refusing to specify what. It really doesn't matter how hard it is or how entitled you feel to behave badly, you'll end up driving people away with your bitterness.

0v9c99f9g9d939d9f9g9h8h · 30/05/2020 22:23

And very, very odd that am offer to sign a petition would be deleted mumsnet-you truly have lost any hope of impartially there.

0v9c99f9g9d939d9f9g9h8h · 30/05/2020 22:30

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Madein1995 · 30/05/2020 23:26

I think that in general, people need to be kind to each other. I dont expect applause for putting my life.on hold to protect the nbs and the vulnerable, it's what the entire country has been doing. Everyones had sacrifices and no.one is better off in this situation.. lockdown is shit for all of us. I cant see my parents because of Walea ludicrously slow easing of lockdown and idiotic 5mile rule. Tbe country has stalled and everyone is suffering. Just because on section feels they are suffering more, doesn't mean it's a walk in the park for the rest. From this thread youd swear that the non vulnerable haven't made any sacrifices and have had a lovely lockdown!

tobee · 30/05/2020 23:37

OMG have you seen this?

I haven't read it through but it immediately made me think of this thread:-

www.bbc.co.uk/news/health-52862440

tobee · 30/05/2020 23:37

I nearly cried when I read it

Passthebubbly · 30/05/2020 23:45

My mum has been shielding since the start, in sheltered accommodation. Has to go to dialysis 3 times a week. For first time today I took kids to stand outside to wave to her as I knew she was low. I took one look at her and called an ambulance. She is now in hospital severely ill and I feel sick to my stomach I can’t even see her. I don’t even know what is wrong with her but she was in mortal agony. I hate myself for standing by the shielding and believing her WhatsApp’s that she is ok (deaf so can’t phone).

tobee · 30/05/2020 23:52

Ah that's really hard Passthebubbly Thanks

Hope she gets the treatment she needs now. Dh is doing dialysis 3 x a week.

I see a thread has been started about the shielded news of tonight and people aren't impressed.

tobee · 30/05/2020 23:53

Thank god you were there though Passthebubbly

SauvignonBlanche · 31/05/2020 09:19

Have you seen the news OP? Someone was listening Grin

TabbyMumz · 31/05/2020 09:22

If I had been told to shield, I think I'd have made sensible decisions about going out for my own sanity. In my area I'd be able to go for walks without getting close to people. I'd probably have had a few trips out in the car to see other places for a change. Obviously not everyone lives in an area where they can do this.

MilesJuppIsMyBitch · 31/05/2020 09:44

Just popping back onto this thread to remind people of something.

At the time that we were told to shield, reports were coming from Italy that those with underlying health conditions were not being put on ventilators - so that those with a better chance of recovery could use them.

It was then reported that the Three Wise Men protocol was being (potentially) put in place in this country, meaning that if it was a choice between one of the shielded and an otherwise healthy person being ventilated, we would be the losers.

I have never been so abjectly terrified in my life. I have had a cancer diagnosis, chemo, and been hospitalised with sepsis, and those experiences were nothing - nothing - compared with the horror I felt in those first few weeks of lockdown.

We were picturing ourselves being left to die.

Those of you complacently telling us what you would do under those circumstances know nothing.

Bluewarbler27 · 31/05/2020 09:58

@Madein1995 - Exactly, we’ve all made sacrifices. It’s been difficult for Everyone. Some worse than others. Not Sheiling but My particular situation has be horrendous, but I know Of thousands of others in the exact situation as me. Our particular group havn’t had more support than others and I don’t expect any special thanks.

Bluewarbler27 · 31/05/2020 10:00

@tobee - but they could do that anyway if they wanted. It’s only advice from the government.

TabbyMumz · 31/05/2020 10:02

"Those of you complacently telling us what you would do under those circumstances know nothing."
To be fair, you dont know other peoples circumstances, it might not be complacent at all. Everyone makes their own decisions.