Any other shielded people having a rough time.

[BanKittenHeels]

I have now been in the house for 80 days on the advice of my rheumatologist. I then received my shielding letter with the first wave.
I am grateful to have my children with me but my husband is medical, so has been living in a hotel since March. Which is good because he had Covid - thankfully he is now ok.

I had a letter not too long ago to tell me the date for shielding was extended until 30th June but speaking to both my rheumatologist and my respiratory consultant and being a HCP myself, it looks likely I’ll be shielded until the end of the year.

I’m really low, really, really low.
I’m not coping at all.
Social media and the press are full of people almost celebrating, as if this is somehow the end and here we are, just rotting.

And we’re not doing this to save our lives. We are doing this so that other people who are more likely to survive have beds and access to treatment.

No one gives a shit.

I was asking for support more than anything but fear not. Fear fucking not. I know better now.

OP I don’t understand why people are having a go at you! Christ

It is shit for you, it’s been going on for ages, and to see it telescope off into the future for months must feel so galling and upsetting.

Here’s some

We’re not shielding but we’re staying home still apart from walks out - no comparison to you, just saying I’m frustrated by all the ‘we’re freeee!’ bollocks too. There will be a second spike before we know it, the government is just a trash fire of corruption and ineptitude.

Sending support your way.

I don’t understand why people are telling me it isn’t mandatory.

People are more or less doing what they want now. The beaches and parks have been packed out for weeks. People were having street parties and doing the conga on VE day. None of it has been taken seriously.

Some of us have followed the rules.

Fair enough to want to moan. This isn’t easy for anyone. But you seem to want about other people going about their business. They should be grateful for your sacrifice and the government should get your shopping.

It’s hard, I have no doubt. But you are protecting your own health and as others have said, you are not being forced. There is no law that applies any differently to you.

Can’t your dh get your shopping and leave it on the doorstep? I assume the dcs you refer to are his? If so, no reason he shouldn’t be dropping stuff off.

From the OP:

'I’m really low, really, really low.
I’m not coping at all.'

From CayrollBaaaskin:

'Sorry but you are not making this “sacrifice” for others. It’s primarily for yourself. It’s not a good situation but it’s not someone else’s fault. If anything the rest of us have been in lockdown to protect you and The elderly and those with underlying health conditions.'

Such empathy. Such humanity.

But it's great that you've grudgingly allowed her to moan.

Leaving this thread, obvs, because it's very upsetting to see these views so openly expressed. It's really, really got to me today.

Well there are some right nasty wankers on this thread. FFS. I get it OP. You can't win - I was told by my MIL that I'm selfish for going out for a walk every day because I'm not thinking of the NHS. You really can't fucking win.

Fuck me. If anyone else feels the need to say "it's only guidance, you can ignore it if you want" please can you add "even though you have a very high risk of dying and leaving your family if you catch it" because that is the fucking reality of this. It's not just a simply shoulder shrugging decision that's easy to make.

Yes I would absolutely love to sit in my friends or parents gardens, I am absolutely desperate, desperate to see them and I'm struggling hugely not going out - but I'm also realistic - if I catch it I will likely die and leave my DC. It's not exactly a fucking easy choice.

Don't you think if someone in this position says they're finding it hard, saying "well you can choose to
Ignore it, it's for your own good" helps in any way at all? I'll give you some advice, it fucking doesn't.

A bit of empathy and solidarity is what OP is looking for - not brisk dismissal and minimising the huge issues we face. It sounds melodramatic and a bit silly to say these are life and death choices for us (much more so than people not shielded) but that is the reality.

I think it's one of those situations you just can't understand (well clearly some people on this thread can't) unless you are in it yourself, but surely people can at least have some fucking common sense and a bit of kindness for someone having a shit time?

Others might reply that they are being locked down to protect you. For the overwhelming majority of people this is a minor disease. The young and fit are being locked down, and making huge sacrifices, largelly to protect the elderly and the vulnerable.

Children, who are almost entirely unaffected, are sacrificing their education to protect the vulnerable and the elderly.

Furthermore, it is likely that even babies will be paying for this for decades to come.

Lockdown is mandatory for everyone, however they assess their risk. You can choose to stay shielding or join lockdown. The choice is stark, of course, but it is open to you.

You are not forgotten. You are being protected, as much as is possible, everytime another person risks their job, gives up family, abandons friends and lovers, misses school.

*"If anything the rest of us have been in lockdown to protect you and The elderly and those with underlying health conditions.

So you're welcome"*

Do you know, I'm actually having a really shit time at the moment, but it's just given me a little moment of comfort to think that no matter how shit my life is, at least I'm not the type of person who would type such a mean spirited, cold hearted and just fucking unkind message to someone asking for a bit of support.

I may be shielding but at least I'm not a horrible cunt. (Well at least I try not to be)

Fuck me there’s some nasty cunts on this thread

Here you go OP unless you’re teetotal in which case

Op I hear you. I
So much spite and know it all smugness has come out during the lockdown.
It is hard really hard and I relatively think few people actually understand it. Do go into the chat thread if you think it will help
If you're on FB or have friends out and about ask them to share videos and photos of life on the outside the highs and lows.

You are not forgotten.

And yet thousands of us say we are.
Are you wellsplaining?

I'm not understanding you very well OP. On the one hand you seem to see the necessity of shielding to spare your own life, but you believe the government is asking you to do it for a different reason? Is that right? Could you spell out what you would like the government to do?

Oh biggestjulie your generous, supportive and sympathetic post surely will make OP and other shielded and struggling people so much better. I think it's just what we need to cheer us up to hear that people are being forced to sacrifice their jobs and children and education, oh and their lovers just for us so we should stop being so selfish and whingey. I have had a lightbulb moment that we should shut the fuck up moaning and just take our chances, either stay in or and go out with our higher risk of death without ever expressing any worry or sadness at all.

Thank you so much. I feel so much better now you have thoughtfully explained it so well for us.

Anyway excuse me if I don't post again, I have to make a human sacrifice and then lock some teenagers in a cellar to prevent them having a life and an education for my own sake as that's just the kind of person I am.

How can anyone read the title of this thread, read the OP and then decide to come on here with ZERO experience of how it feels to be in the shielded category and talk about it being a choice and OP should just deal with it? Read the room. Jesus.

@BanKittenHeels I get it. I'm struggling too. My friends are being so lovely and trying to not talk too much about their trips to the beach and the park and the BBQ's they're planning next week. Not because they think I'll resent them. But because they're not insensitive idiots and they realise that whilst I don't begrudge them a tiny bit of happiness in these shitty times, it's still hard to see these things and know that I can't get involved. And for those saying it's a choice. If by "choice" you mean "risking your life and possibly taking up an ITU bed" then sure, great choice that is.

Right from the start of this I've had comments such as "wow, you're so lucky to get priority slots" Yeah, I'm super fucking lucky to already have a condition that causes me immense pain and suffering everyday but I've also now been told to pack a hospital bag "just in case". Really, super lucky. Do these people not realise how much I'd love to be able to queue up outside Sainsbury's for my weekly shop right now? I'm not "lucky" to be on this list at all. And whilst I can most definitely choose to go out and about, how are my kids going to feel if I catch it and die?

If you aren't shielding or if you don't have any direct experience or if you can't understand why somebody would be feeling down because of all this then perhaps don't comment.

We absolutely are forgotten!! We are shielding as my DD2 has cystic fibrosis. We've been in the house now for 77 days. We are very fortunate to have a small garden which helps - I know that some CF Teams are recommending shielding until the end of August which for us would be just about 6 months, the toll that this has already taken on our family is incredible, all of us now have anxiety and very low mood despite doing daily yoga, Joe Wicks and various other physical activities and taking very good care of ourselves. Unless you are doing it too I don't think you can even begin to understand or comment on the experience. I genuinely feel for everyone else in our position. This is so tough.

Also, I understood the government's thinking was that people who didn't have great odds on ventilation should avoid getting Covid at all possible because it's desirable to avoid needing treatment if the odds aren't great? I can see this is also about having that treatment available for others too but surely the two go hand in hand? And everyone is paying a high price. Our children have been through a terrible time without being at great risk, on the whole-this was to reduce risk to their more vulnerable family members.

Those who are shielding, what exactly do you want others to do?

@bankittenheels

I get you I’mstruggling to believe that people are dense enough think that the healthy are protecting the shielded @cayrolbaaaskin but there’s more than one on this thread ffs

I have a one in 4 million condition. If I get covid I will probably die, after taking up a ventilator for a couple of weeks that you as a relatively healthy person might need. So actually it’s me saying to you, you’re welcome

When the government asked for help to support those who are vulnerable, there was an amazing response in terms of numbers. I have no idea how successful it's been but it's startling to hear the vitriol on this thread, in light of the response and how compliant people have been with lockdown, even though many don't personally see the need to protect themselves in this way.

@0v9c99f9g9d939d9f9g9h8h

When the government asked for help to support those who are vulnerable, there was an amazing response in terms of numbers. I have no idea how successful it's been but it's startling to hear the vitriol on this thread, in light of the response and how compliant people have been with lockdown, even though many don't personally see the need to protect themselves in this way.

Do you have anything supportive to add to the thread? You think lockdown was to protect the vulnerable solely?

Ade Is it not you saying "I'd like to avoid getting this thing?!" I'm not suggesting you should feel grateful to anyone but you can't have it both ways-let's take gratitude out of the equation as clearly no one feels as grateful as they could/should. There are clear personal advantages, to put it mildly.

If I knew what shielding people would like others to do, I would do my best to do it. As long as it's a clear action and not being the focus of resentment.

No, fallen, I didn't.

Do you have anything supportive to add? How about a clear request to all these people who are letting the shielded down? What would it take not to feel forgotten? What would be helpful?