Any other shielded people having a rough time.

[BanKittenHeels]

I have now been in the house for 80 days on the advice of my rheumatologist. I then received my shielding letter with the first wave.
I am grateful to have my children with me but my husband is medical, so has been living in a hotel since March. Which is good because he had Covid - thankfully he is now ok.

I had a letter not too long ago to tell me the date for shielding was extended until 30th June but speaking to both my rheumatologist and my respiratory consultant and being a HCP myself, it looks likely I’ll be shielded until the end of the year.

I’m really low, really, really low.
I’m not coping at all.
Social media and the press are full of people almost celebrating, as if this is somehow the end and here we are, just rotting.

And we’re not doing this to save our lives. We are doing this so that other people who are more likely to survive have beds and access to treatment.

No one gives a shit.

@atilathehut leaving aside that this whole situation could perhaps have been prevented if the government had adopted tactics like those in e.g.New Zealand...

Here are some things the government could have done/could be doing

1. Communicate clearly to us when shielding is likely to be over and the phases for it to be over instead of providing no or confusing information.
2. Give us some income protection e.g. furloughing or “maternity-type” pay and protect our jobs.
3. As in other countries, have certain times in the week when only shielding people are allowed outside.
4. Mention us more in press briefings and not talk about “everyone” being allowed to exercise outside or whatever.

My point was, if you don't think it is to protect your health but only the health of others, then do what you want. It's guidance not mandatory.

The NHS wasn't overwhelmed and isn't near it now. I think shielding sounds torture but every single other person i've seen posting is worried about the risk to them. If you're not worried about the risk to you and shielding is effecting your MH to this extent, you do not have to do it.

The guidance sent out to people shielding made it clear it's advice and not mandatory.

I have to agree with OP and I feel like that. I spoke to my GP and rheumatologist yesterday, I am definitely shielding until the end of August so not quite as bad as you and I have my husband here. But today I feel really cheesed off.

I think it’s an opinion that many shielded people share, they are being kept in to protect the healthy by stopping ventilator capacity from being overwhelmed

This is true but they aren't under house arrest, they have the freedom to go out if they so choose. Most countries under strict lockdown even the young and healthy didn't have those freedoms.

It's so hard to know what to do.for the best..my husband is on the shielding list but he has carried on cycling as he feels it is good for his immune system. He doesn't do dangerous routes and never ventures more than 20 miles from home. We are both ok with that decision and haven't taken any other risks.

We are going back to work soon though and I am really worried about it. His furlough is up and having spoken to his consultant he has decided that he isn't going to shield anymore. My furlough is also nearly up so I will likely be going back to work in the next fortnight too,.and I will also go back to my second job at a supermarket at the same time as I can't really shield him if he is back at work!. All this effort we have made and now we are just going back out there and the disease is still around, there are newspaper reports that it hasn't even hit it's peak in our area. It is very frightening. I feel powerless. Totally different scenario to you OP but still rubbish...

I don’t resent others, I ask for people not to sweep us under the carpet as many, many of us feel is happening.

BanKittenHeels people on here are just projecting onto you. They think that you only post if you want solutions, probably because that is how they operate.

Your thread title makes it very clear your reason for posting.

my husband is on the shielding list but he has carried on cycling as he feels it is good for his immune system. He doesn't do dangerous routes and never ventures more than 20 miles from home. We are both ok with that decision and haven't taken any other risks.

Everyone instructed to shield are free to make their own decisions. It makes sense to go out and still get exercise where possible and those who do stay in the house are also wise to minimise as much as possible chance of transmission.

However, the key is choice. At no point have people shielding been forced to stay in the house. In 10 weeks i've been out every day for exercise close to home (not really coming within 2 meters of anyone outside my household) and supermarket every week or 2 for essentials and that's it.

Obviously anyone shielding should ideally someone else to at least do their shopping but I do think fresh air is important.

I’m not in your position but can understand why you feel like you do. Yes the shielding both protects you AND the NHS - doesn’t mean you don’t have to feel upset at the situation, or hopeful that it’ll improve.

That’s me put in my place then.
People can moan about supermarket queues or all manner of minor annoyances for months on Mumsnet but heaven forbid someone doing their bit for their family and let’s not forget for the NHS and the country be upset or struggle.

I don’t resent other people being able to live a vaguely normal life, it is just a hard pill to swallow when we have been forgotten.
Our sacrifice is completely forgotten.

So that cookie? If it is for me, take and shove it up your arse.

It’s hard but you are shielding mainly to protect your own health so I don’t understand the aggression towards those pointing this out. The virus isn’t serious for the vast majority with no underlying health issues. Also what do you want those who can now have more freedom to do - why is it wrong for them to be happy about that?

Sorry you’re feeling bad op. I hope you can get out in the garden and enjoy the sunshine.

How have you been forgotten? What is it that you want people to do for you?

DinghyCalledDignity

Of course I’m worried about the risk to me, of course.
But it’s also hard to do this, to lock yourself away even if it is for my own good. Both can be true.
It is BEYOND hard, especially when you feel marked out by central government as one of the number likely to be headed to Rose Cottage, that is quite the head fuck.

But no one, no one seems to give a fucking shit that so many of us have done this and continue to do this because it is something that protects the NHS. No one cares that we have made this sacrifice.
Yes lockdown was hard on everyone but people still got to walk around, went to windows to wave at friends, went to shops.
Our sacrifice is huge and we are being brushed under the carpet by government and being told “awww didums, it’s for your own good you poor little sick person”.

Sorry but you are not making this “sacrifice” for others. It’s primarily for yourself. It’s not a good situation but it’s not someone else’s fault. If anything the rest of us have been in lockdown to protect you and The elderly and those with underlying health conditions.

I'm not sweeping you under the carpet for one. I'm saying if shielding is making you miserable and you're not trying to save your life, but the lives of others, its up to you what you do.

It's guidance. If you want to carry on with life as usual, do so. I'm not one of those people saying lets go back to normal but make the high-risk stay home. I'm saying if you're high risk you have the same right to assess the impact on you personally as anyone else and should not be forced to stay indoors. And you're not. It's not mandatory.

If you're suffering and you don't want to adhere to the advice and want to'take your chances' then do it.

People bought into the 'protect the NHS' stuff. It worked. It wasn't overwhelmed, no-where near and very likely to not happen in the future even if there is a 'second wave'.

It's always been up to you what you do. If you don't want to shield for the next 6 months just to protect the NHS (I wouldn't) then don't. If you want to do it to protect yourself then do.

To those people saying 'it's only guidelines, you have a choice' - think about it a bit more eh! What kind of choice is it to put yourself in the position where you could be seriously ill / die? Some choice!!

And YES to the poster who said there should be times when just the shielded can go out to certain places... I've been saying this for weeks. Give us an hour in public parks at 6am if you like, I don't care... but when everyone else gets to go out 24/7 now... just an hour without increased risk isn't asking for much! Lots of people saying going somewhere remote, but staying local should be available to everyone!

And stop putting pictures on news items (about the shielded) depicting us as all over 70 and in the twighlight of life... many of us are still in the prime of life with jobs, mortgages, kids etc!

How have you been forgotten? What is it that you want people to do for you?

I want people to recognise that we are making a huge sacrifice. And it isn’t just for our own good.
I want communication from the government beyond terrifying letters (I’m a HCP and they scared me, they utterly terrified many others).
I want councils to support people properly - many councils have been utterly useless and not contacted the volunteers. I’m lucky that I’m a prepper (for this very reason) so I have food but fellow shielded in my area have gone hungry through this and the police had to bring food to the elderly because they were found in their homes having not eaten for a week.

People are walking around my local area shouting about “we are free!” and skipping to fucking ice cream vans laughing about lockdown being over. I’m glad people are happy, don’t get me wrong but there are a huge number of people in this country for whom this is not over and probably won’t be over for some considerable time. We do not deserve to be swept under the carpet or when recognised as existing, told to order some bloody UNO cards from Amazon.

But also, read my OP and title.

Sorry to Miles I thought that biscuit was for me.

It's shit for people shielding, no doubting that.

But you can go out as much as you want, you can go shopping as much as you want. People shielding in my office are wfh (as are the rest of us).

The advice is to stay at home. Yeah it's more for the NHS and for keeping the stats down, the government don't care about you anymore than they cared about the vulnerable people affected by their austerity measures.

People bought into the 'protect the NHS' stuff. It worked. It wasn't overwhelmed, no-where near and very likely to not happen in the future even if there is a 'second wave'.

Yes but not in small part because those of us most likely to be hospitalised stayed completely at home.
It is a sacrifice.

Very strange responses to the OP who was clearly asking for support from others in the same situation.

My DH and 3 YO DS are both on the shielding list (for different reasons). It is very shit. I nearly asked DH yesterday what he wanted to do over the weekend before I remembered!

So, lots of sympathy and solidarity for you OP. We feel very overlooked, which I guess is easy to do.

And yes, of course, everyone can make their own risk assessment. I struggle to do that for my toddler though because I can't assess the risk accurately enough. The GP has told me that the risk is that he will end up in intensive care, but of course we don't know exactly how likely that is. It is a small (unknown) risk but with potentially devastating consequences, so I don't know how to balance that against the rest of his needs.

My DH has a number of risk factors but if he chose to go out for an early morning walk then I would support him. We live in a town centre so our situation is different from those who live rurally.

Work is a worry and others have flagged the need to protect employment rights for those who can't work safely outside the home (or at all).

The latest guidance a few weeks ago talks about smarter shielding but there's been no more information since then.

Take some time to vent OP (maybe on the support thread!), spend some time doing something you like (baking is one of my favourites), and be kind to yourself. This is a rough ride and it isn't over yet

The advice is to stay at home
The advice for shielded is to only open a window.

I don’t understand why people are telling me it isn’t mandatory. I know that. I’m happy to do it. But I want communication and more than anything I wanted to bloody moan.

It’s your decision to stay shielded though. I know people who have chosen to go out to save their sanity. No one can force you to live like this.