Year 11 have just been dumped. Schools don’t seem to want to deal with them and CAMHs are nowhere to be seen.

[Tw1gWhistle]

Just that really.

What exactly are you supposed to do with a 16 year old who is finding lockdown increasingly difficult.

My 16 year old never goes anywhere, never got to sit any exams, is anxious about results, is sleeping later and later to make the day go away, has no idea when or if A levels will start, has nothing to work towards,motivation sliding, hates life.....

Was under CAMHs but had almost zero from them, they don’t get back to you. What exactly is the point of them and where are we supposed to go for support?School don’t want to know. I get schools now have bigger problems but surely somebody is supposed to be supporting these kids.

I’m going back to work full time from Monday and I’m supposed to leave my depressed teenager alone all day with zero support.

I can’t believe how spectacularly crap the gov are being in supporting teens through this. They weren’t bothered in the slightest re how crap CAMHs are before CV so I guess expecting them to give a shit during CV would have been a bit much to expect. The fallout is going to be massive.

I feel for you. I have a DS with a number of issues who has also been abandoned. I would second young minds; also yes get an appointment with GP and be forceful; say that your son needs urgent help and you don’t want to wait until it gets to an emergency situation. It seems that you have to really push for any help at all, but CAMHs is still working- the GO may be able to galvanise them

GO = GP

How is the GP going to be able to galvanise them if I can’t?

Not sure I have any answers but I do sympathise.
I too have a 16 yr old son. It's been a rollercoaster and he has had some really dark times in the past few weeks.
Bizarrely( as mentioned above ) he spent a few weeks absorbed in assassin's creed as mentioned above. He even gave me a tour of Venice at one point. This was at a low point when he wouldn't leave his room and was sitting with the curtains shut.
We managed to get him a local daily paper round. He earns cash and knows he has to get up and out at 8.... This has been a game changer.
Today he came out with me when I went to do a food shop. He hadn't left our village for 10 weeks ! He went and picked up a click and collect order whilst I was in a supermarket. We then went for a stroll around town, I bought him a takeaway Starbucks and then we found KFC were open for takeaway so we sat and ate loads in the car. Whilst it sounds like a little thing it lifted his mood massively!

I think the posters who think that you can impose structure /schoolwork on a 16/17 year old either don't have teenagers or they are exceptionally obidient!

From what you've written it sounds like your son may have more significant mood issues that do need specialist input but you are not alone in feeling angry about the way our young people are being treated. Many of them are struggling to a lesser or greater degree

The fact there is no end in sight for them makes it worse. They may not be going back in Sep, he knows that. GCSEs screwed up, Alevels potentially up shit creek.

I forgot to say .. have you looked at the kooth app? May or may not be suitable but might be worth a go

Tw1g I went to see the gp alone after camhs refused to see Ds. She was very nice but basically said there was nothing she could do. As I left she said she wanted to apologise on behalf of the NHS for the complete lack of support. There is nobody out there that wants to help.

You are right Camhs weren't supportive before Covid so things will only be worse now.

I feel like mine has been abandoned by school too. His year 8 brother has work to do every day and a form tutor checking in on him once a.week, but he has had nothing. He plays on his PlayStation. He talks to his friends while he is playing..I ask him how they are and he doesn't know because other than the game they don't speak, but I think at least he is talking to someone in some sort of way. There is no mention from our school about 6th form yet. I hope your boy will be ok, it's a sad state of affairs when there is nowhere to get help

I’m horrified by posters saying that schools don’t care about Y11 and that the OP’s school in particular isn’t interested. They bloody should be!

I’m a teacher. My duty of care has not ended because school is closed. Our pastoral and safeguarding staff are still working (harder than ever!)

OP - call school again tomorrow and ask to speak to the DSL (designated safeguarding lead). The school must have one and they must act on your concerns. How they act depends on what you tell them and how serious they think it is, but they have a legal obligation to report and act on concerns.

If you really don’t think school will do anything, google “safeguarding hub ” and you’ll get a direct number to talk with trained staff yourself - they may be able to signpost you to local support.

Good luck

My not yet diagnosed year 11 dd hasn’t progressed past day 1. We’re still stuck in I wanted to do exams; these grades don’t count I didn’t work for them; I’ve been looking forward to this summer for 3 years; I didn’t get a last day of school’ etc etc.

She’ll go for walks and I enforce a routine but other that forget it. She’ll talk to no-one it’s just watching tv and crying.

School haven’t enquired after her but then again neither have they asked about my year 9 who struggles with written work, The written work keeps coming in a written format and they won’t even arrange someone to speak to her rather than sending it because of safeguarding.

I’m really sorry you’re going through this. I empathise! I’ve tried all I can but ultimately unless she wants to talk there’s no point paying out any more than I already have for this.

I don’t know what to do either and have heard nothing from CAMHS except a letter with contact details for other organisations!

CAMHS support must vary then, I was pleasantly surprised to get a call from them a few weeks ago re my DD who's on a waiting list for therapy. They asked how she was doing and offered online counselling which has a much shorter waiting list.

Sorry that's probably no help at all for you and your DS but I wanted to offer some hope to others reading this thread.

Yes ask for DSL at school. And the GP should have more 'luck' than you with CAMHS, because s/he's a GP.

Is DS's father involved? Are there siblings?

I guess we are ignoring practical day to day advice and handwringing about how the schools wont do anything to make the borderline adult children less bored. Get this kid some activities (genuinely, video games that allow him to interact with others or explore worlds will help, it's made me and my college aged sister feel a lot better and has given us things to interact with and look forward too) and leave the school thing alone for now. No one knows what the future looks like, the schools can't help right now. Get this kid some stuff to do and tell him we are all having a rough time and its part of life. Does your son even want to talk to a therapist or do schoolwork or is he just mindbogglingly bored?

I would agree with the gaming idea.

Horizon is awesome but perhaps an online multiplayer? WoW or ElderScrolls. He will "meet" people and need to team up/work together for some things.

Obviously meeting up in the real world is better but I have made lifelong friends through gaming.

My 16 yo has not really missed his mates because they are always online together anyway.

Also its ok to feel directless and depressed and even to lie in bed all day sometines. Its a directionless and depressing time and focussing on trying to force him out of that state of mind may even contribute to how shit he feels. Instead of counselling him how to be better and worrying all the time, it might be more beneficial to tell him how he feels is fine and normal given the circumstances but that he still needs to find something he enjoys. Even just doing one thing a week. Start small. Don't obsess over it though. If you think he's absolutely clinically depressed and borderline suicidal then absolutely GP, but sometimes low mood is a normal reaction which will improve in time.

School aren’t bothered

It’s not the schools aren’t bothered, it’s just that there’s not a lot they can do. If you feel that your child’s mental health is at serious risk, it’s your job as his parent to speak to his GP or contact the school for additional support.

My school have created Google Classrooms for year 11, where they get to know the A’level subjects on offer and get to try pieces of A level standard work. Check whether your school has set up these taster classrooms or ask for some A level work for the subjects your child is looking to take.

I think to blanket blame schools though is pretty unfair. Schools certainly haven’t caused this mess and they’ve never trained or put in place measures to deal with a pandemic. It’s a learning curve for everyone and most schools are doing their best with what they have.

It depends where you live and what the criteria is for CAMHS locally. What you've described would be unlikely to even warrant an assessment in a lot of areas.

Being he was under CAMHS for other issues school and they are aware of. He started off at the beginning of CV ok and very proactive. He has now slid into what I assume is depression. CV is hard enough for adults with houses to run and some point to their existence. Having 24 hours a day every day isolated to focus on issues and a perceived no future or purpose on top of other issues is incredibly hard and the support should be there but it isn’t. What is the point of CAMHs if it can’t support when support is needed. Literally nobody cares. He only has me and I’m now not having an impact.On top of that I’m now not going to be working from home but out all day.

Frankly I think it’s shit if CAMHs wouldn’t care re a teen who just hated life and sleeps all day to make it go away regardless of anything else. What is the point of them and what aren’t they now doing face to face appointments?If schools can socially distance whole bubbles why can’t CAMHS sit two metres away from single teens with windows open?

I have literally tried everything. I have tried the
“oh this is normal but you still need to get up and have some routine” thing. Yes I get that it’s hard for schools and acknowledged the bigger problems they’re dealing with but year 11 do seem to have been dumped by the whole system for whatever reason. They are in no mans land and really it wouldn’t be hard for somebody higher up than schools to realise this and think just maybe that as a year group they have very little support and an awful lot to handle.

I agree that CAMHS provision can be shockingly bad nationwide but that's lack of funding, not lack of caring. Different areas have different criteria and thresholds for intervention.

The YoungMinds website has a lot of useful advice and they have a parents helpline too.

I would still call the GP too.

Mine are doing headspace (meditation website) - it's free for the first two weeks. Might be worth a go?

Or as someone said upthread the website kooth.

There are lots of self-help books you can buy - one of mine is working through this and it seems to be helping.

What A level's does he want to do? If he/you contact the subject teachers they might be able to give you some bridging work (I'm a teacher and I've told them the topics that link directly to the start of A level so they can brush up on these aspects). MIght give a sense of purpose?

I'm sorry, I know it's shit. I have two going through this and it makes you feel so helpless.

Mine are doing headspace (meditation website) - it's free for the first two weeks. Might be worth a go? i heard this too.

i keep asking but would you be able to afford rivate counselling? even if it meant borrowing or begging someone for a few weeks.

our cahms was overwhelmed and crap - i felt waiting around for them and all the energy lost in despairing about them ultimately set us back many months.

it is horrendous op, i know, and i just wish i could say something to make it better.

I have to leave for work.Thank you so much for your replies, didn’t want to appear rude but will reply properly tonight.

Has he got any hobbies at all he could do ? I think maybe being firmer about being up at a certain time and having some chores in the house to do might help even if he resents you for it. Or are you in walking distance from the shops? Can you entice him out by giving him a shopping list each day and then allowing him to buy one small item for himself or a take away lunch ? Anything to get him out of the house ?

What has he enjoyed in the past?

I second the idea of a dog if you could manage it - he needs company when you are at work, and if it's something he might want it would get him out for a walk every day.

I don't think trying to get him out of bed will work, and certainly telling him it's not too bad or trying to cheer him up won't. I would go back to GP and try for medication at this stage. Bother them every single day until they take you seriously.

Really am leaving but just wanted to say I know it’s hard for other year groups too. I have a year 10 but she has lessons online with her friends, much better pastoral care( maybe because she’s still in school albeit online) and a focus she can focus( GCSEs) on with support. I know there is a huge amount of uncertainty with year 10 but it’s a picnic compared with this shit for year 11.

Can’t get a dog as when/ if they ever return to school there will be nobody at home to look after it. Wouldn’t be fair to the dog.