Year 11 have just been dumped. Schools don’t seem to want to deal with them and CAMHs are nowhere to be seen.

[Tw1gWhistle]

Just that really.

What exactly are you supposed to do with a 16 year old who is finding lockdown increasingly difficult.

My 16 year old never goes anywhere, never got to sit any exams, is anxious about results, is sleeping later and later to make the day go away, has no idea when or if A levels will start, has nothing to work towards,motivation sliding, hates life.....

Was under CAMHs but had almost zero from them, they don’t get back to you. What exactly is the point of them and where are we supposed to go for support?School don’t want to know. I get schools now have bigger problems but surely somebody is supposed to be supporting these kids.

I’m going back to work full time from Monday and I’m supposed to leave my depressed teenager alone all day with zero support.

Is he on medication for depression? Sounds like his depression is on the severe scale.if he needs prompting to even get up from bed.
If it was my son, I would contact the CAMHS Chris line and request a phone call from his care Co.ordinator to at leat review his medication.
Do you have relatives or friend who can pop in while you're at work to check on him?

He needs to see a GP

I am going completely against the rules here but he needs his mates ..can he have a couple over in the garden? I'm not surprised he is depressed this is getting out of hand!! Kids thst age need routine etc it's a really fragile age.

Year 11's have missed out on a lot, that final term with friends, prom, exams, they will all be going off to different places, it's very sad. It's hard to keep teenagers motivated. I have three and they are all moping around and sleeping in late.

If he's under CAMHS, GP won't help. All decisions to do with MH will be dealt with by CAMHS. There must be a Crisis team that you can contac

School really aren’t at all interested. I emailed some time ago. Their pastoral care is shite at the best of times.

GP is only going to suggest CAMHs.

I have spent ours counselling, trying to get structure. He was doing ok but lockdown has had a massive impact and nothing I do now helps. Nothing, so yes I am defeated because we have nowhere to turn to and will not be around to enforce anything.

Nobody seems to care about them. Not even the government. They don’t mention them or provide support. Teens( year 11 in particular)and the elderly are being massively let down.

get him a PS4 (or if you have a good PC use that) and some Horizon Zero Dawn/Assasins Creed open world games, it might be expensive and people hate video games on here I know, but immersing him in a fantasy world that has things to do and explore and discover might give him something to look forward to. I know it's been a life saver for me personally to play Assasins Creed Odyssey and explore ancient Greece. Also if he wants to connect with other people a lot of games are multiplayer which allows him to still have scheduled "play dates" of a kind.

Not that CAMHS will do much other than review medication and talk on the phone at the moment but that's something at least? Does he have any brothers or sisters, cousins, anyone who can check on him during the day?

Is there a teacher at his old school he had a connection with? Can you contact them and see if they could have a motivational chat with him?

Year 11 have finished school. Thats not the correct route to take any more. You need to push gp and camhs.

i feel for you op.

can you get private counselling? would he engage? will he go with you to the gp?

can he tell you how he feels out of 10 each day? dont fights about when he gets up, try to keep communication open andloving- tell him he can tell you anything youll always try to help- he can text or email you anything.

is there anything he'll try from duolingo, cooking, weights, mates, pets or something, anything?

he will get through it op

I know people don't like them yadda yadda, but I agree with @hotsouple. Gaming has been the best thing for keeping DS sane. And I never, ever thought I'd say that!

I really feel for you @Tw1gWhistle & your son.
Go back to your GP & or contact CAMHs again, reiterate how bad your son's mental health is & you are so worried that he'll do the unthinkable & is saying life isn't worth living & he needs to see the Crisis team pronto.

What A Levels does he want to do? Our Yr 11s have been doing bridging courses in preparation for their sixth form studies. Can you investigate the specifications for his A Levels and get him to start reading and researching in preparation? Help him to choose some books, etc, so that he can feel that he is doing something meaningful and useful.

Does he not have a friend he can meet up with now that he's allowed to do that? That has made a huge difference to 17 yr old DS, being able to see a mate or his girlfriend - they arrange to meet and then just head off for a wander around in the fresh air.

Would he be willing to take medication for his mood? Even if he's not willing to speak to a GP it may be worth you doing so or doing it again if you already have. If things deteriorate further there will be a starting point to work from. Make a list of all that is going on. He sounds moderately depressed and if he was an adult would likely be offered medication.
If he's willing you will find counselling available (at cost probably) online.
I really understand how difficult this is

I second urgent gp appointment and blood tests to rule out B vitamin or D vit drficiency. Ds1 was vitamin d deficient for a few years without us realising, much improved by gp prescribed supplement if your son isnt getting large dosesof sunshine 11 to 3. Ds also had dyspraxia so played little sport, bad at socialising in person so the vitamin d thing was very chicken and egg.

Ds at your sons age went completely to pieces in hols after gcses, and only recovered once he knew what a levels he was doing and what the sixth form plan was, it was the uncertainty which made him give up.
I also recommend seeing if there is a level transition work online, most schools have project work they expect gcse students to complete in prep for a levels. Optional but gets you off to a flying.start. try looking at some sixth forms.and what their a level syllabuses, prep work is, ie reading lists, areas of study. Might be something to share with friends at least..and watch.rlevant films if a humanity subject ie ds1 did frankenstein..I should.have encouraged him to watch kenneth branagh version and.chat about it.

Ds1 now in second year of uni, so much improved from that depressed demotivated 16 year old lying in bed all day (pre corona)

Year 11 have finished school.

This is the problem. Technically they haven't as they would still be attending classes when not sitting exams, still accessing support from the school. But they have finished the curriculum. They've spent a third of their lives preparing and pushing for this massive moment in their lives and now... bleh. Nothing.

It's really shit at the moment OP, mental health support has ground to a halt for everyone. I don't know what to suggest because when I was under Camhs almost a decade ago - they were less than helpful (not any one individuals fault but they aren't great) and they've only got worse because they simply don't have the resources to deal with the demand. I'm under a crisis team now and I've also been left high and dry - as have many, many others I know who are struggling. It sounds like there have been issues going on longer than lockdown, and unfortunately lockdown has made things harder for so, so many people.

Mental health support was crap before and it is even worse now (again this is not down to the individuals who work in mental health, it is down to high demand and lack of funding) suggestions about making a GP appointment, having a routine and small tasks really are helpful suggestions though.

I know it's all tiny things and it wont make a huge difference straight away and they wont cure everything, but they do help a little. On a more proactive note, things that my partner has done for me to keep me safe are:
Binning all medication in the house, binning or locking away any razors/sharp objects in the house and regularly checking in while he is at work. He has also asked other people to check in on me. I know that it is so scary and frustrating for everyone involved and I do have every sympathy for you and your son. This can't last forever, but on my lowest days I know exactly how much it feels like it will and it's so shit. Take each day as it comes and take care of yourself too, caring for someone with depression is exhausting and draining.

I’ve just emailed CAMS after leaving a message after being told they’d get back a week ago and they didn’t.

School have made it clear they’re not interested so I guess it will be GP if we hear nothing from CAMHs who will probably bounce us back to CAMHS. As I said we’re in limbo until he does something stupid I guess.

I

Please contact

youngminds.org.uk

For advice on how to help him and where to approach next.

can you afford private counselling?

we found cahms utterly useless and this was three years ago.

any family members who can get involved?

I'm sorry that camhs aren't offering help Tw1g. They wouldn't even see Ds for one appointment. The screening team decided that he didn't need their support after just looking at his referral form. They have let down lots of young people.

Hope the gp can help if camhs can't.

If it was me I'd get him to cover the remainder of the syllabus that stopped mid March by himself.

ROFL

Why on earth would you get a 16 year old to spend their time studying for exams they are not going to have to take? More to the point, HOW would you do it?

OP, no answers, I'm afraid, but much sympathy. My 16 year old daughter is in much the same place and I just don't know what to do for her. I don't think she has been outside in about 3 months (other than in the garden). The things she loves hold no joy for her anymore, as they are too changed by the way we are having to love.

I am pretty much just letting her do what she needs to do to get through this time. It is hard work, though, because whilst she doesn't get up until 2pm at the earliest, once she is up she attaches herself to me like a little shadow and everything I do becomes a joint activity. But I am not allowed to do things that she deems too boring (like going for a walk or nay housework) or or solitary (like reading a book). It has to be stuff she will enjoy at least a bit. I am finding it exhausting.

I don't know if this will help your DC but I put it out here and maybe some will get some inspiration.

Our teens need purpose and structure.
I gave mine some major responsibility around the house... DC is cooking dinners 3-4 x week, does some laundry and cleaning on a regular basis. DC used to do sports clubs before corona, so it's going out for running or cycling every other day, we have dog's, so DC is walking them once a day with sibling. All in own time ... I don't nag at all, but have set down the rules = give & take.

DC is going to college, so not much to do in terms of academic preparation...

They wouldn't even see Ds for one appointment.

My dd was referred, had an appointment and point blank told them she was fine. NEver felt anxious or low in her life. So they discharged her. It is like banging my head against a wall.