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Original poster

I just broke the rules

143 replies

OntheWaves40 · 24/05/2020 19:53

I doubt I’m alone. There is definitely a feeling of Do as I say and not as I do defiance going on.
I hadn’t seen my boyfriend in ages, we went for a walk in the park, it’s just not enough. So I went to his house and spent a few hours with him.
The risks are relatively low, as in he works from home etc but after being so diligent with the rules for so long I’m now totally disheartened by people just doing what the hell they like and now I’ve become one of them.

OP posts:
Mrskeats · 24/05/2020 23:11

Have you seen the thread about everyone letting their kids play with other kids?
Can't get over it.

Crikey0000 · 24/05/2020 23:13

Second wave here we come.....

HedgeHogFoxBadger · 24/05/2020 23:20

That must have been amazing for you. I have not seen my BF since before mothers day and the same for my DD aged 17.
I am so sick and tired of people in the village breaking the rules

hamstersarse · 24/05/2020 23:21

Second wave here we come..

This is not what is happening in countries where lockdown is being eased.

But it might happen! This is a virus that we can’t cure. It may well come back as it is contagious. That’s what viruses do! All we can do is shield and protect the vulnerable (we know who they are 97% of people are over 70 and have at least one comorbidity) and for everyone, even that group, we get our immune systems as healthy as possible.

HedgeHogFoxBadger · 24/05/2020 23:23

and why would you post you broke the rules?
Sorry but I think anyone breaking the rules is out of order

PotholeParadise · 24/05/2020 23:26

I have been ranting about Dominic Cummings on mumsnet for 24 hours. I'm still not imitating him.

I have followed the guidance because I owe it to others not to spread this virus. That has not changed and it will not change. Dominic Cummings was never my moral compass and he should not be yours. I will not be goaded into forgetting my own principles because he may have none.

ToffeeYoghurt · 24/05/2020 23:29

This is not what is happening in countries where lockdown is being eased.
Because they took the relatively simple measures required to lessen the risk before lifting their lockdowns. They also locked down earlier and properly including border restrictions. So their R rate is lower.

And actually it is happening in countries who have rushed their lockdown easing. Cases have started increasing again. Whether they're avoiding deaths by treating early is another matter.

We could take the same basic measures too if we wanted to ease lockdown with less risk to economy and lives.

Do you have a link for your claim 97% of those in the vulnerable groups are over 70?
It seems odd given some of the highest risk condition are so common in younger (under 70) people.

barbites · 24/05/2020 23:44

@apinchofsalt does that go for smokers, drug takers, obese people and idiots that get drunk and injure themselves!
You're as likely to pick up Covid in the supermarket as you are sitting in your Mum's garden....
It is still a fact that for most people this is a mild illness. I think so many people have lost sight of this...

Breastfeedingworries · 24/05/2020 23:51

I think you should do risk assessments yourselves and take precautions. I rarely go out, wear gloves mask and sanitiser ect. I’m mostly staying at home and apparently “alert” however I’ve broken the rules from the very beginning. I’ve seen my widowed neighbor from the start. Mostly only mixed with her, but seen friends and family on walks.

I’m furious with this policing attitude, everyone has different breaking points and circumstances.

Op I’m glad you got to spend time with your bf! Good on you for sticking to the rules as long as you did. The government, are expecting rules to be broken but they don’t want to take responsibility. Or they’d have made proper laws, protected staff and the mental health of their citizens. They’d have issued a proper lock down like New Zealand. Instead of this drawn out torture where you can’t see loved ones but can go to work and spend money....

Yeah fuck off boris. I’m doing things my way and I will continue to do.

PickAChew · 24/05/2020 23:58

I can forsee some very expensive lawsuits stemming from the lack of care the NHS is offering people with real medical need and risks far higher than contracting COVID-19.

Society has to stop behaving like there are no other risks in life. OP enjoying a long missed shag will not worsen the chances of anyone who has received substandard medical care.

leftovercoffeecake · 25/05/2020 00:03

I’ve done the same as you and met up with my partner several times now and no amount of snarky comments or being called a cunt will make me feel guilty about it.

At the end of the day, each situation is different. If you’re high risk or have a vulnerable family member then of course you’re going to be cautious about breaking the rules.

I don’t have any health conditions, but I do suffer with my mental health and have done way before the lockdown. As someone who has attempted suicide before, to me that’s my biggest risk. My mental health has been in pieces recently. After weeks of keeping to the rules, I decided to meet up with my partner, which has made an incredible difference.

People seem to forget there are more risks than just covid. Do your own risk assessments.

It’s not like the OP has decided to host a music festival in her back garden and invite the entire town.

HedgeHogFoxBadger · 25/05/2020 00:04

why are people not abiding to the rules? i dont understand.
if everyone broke the rules then the R would rise. But I guess people who are not breaking the rules are reducing the R rate which makes it ok for people to break the rules which could increase R

HedgeHogFoxBadger · 25/05/2020 00:07

I am sorry but rules are rules. I have not seen by BF for 9 weeks. The rules are put in place and it is only the people breaking the rules that are thinking it is ok!

pfrench · 25/05/2020 00:19

People seem to forget there are more risks than just covid. Do your own risk assessments

Yep, I went to the GP the other day. She said she sees and hears more about the negative effects of lockdown now, than she does about the virus.

There are also lots of different circs. If you've been to work throughout, and don't do anything outside work that puts anyone else at risk/greater risk, then you're going to have a different approach to the risk than someone who hasn't been out at all apart from one walk a day. That's what the gov intended by not giving us a really strict lockdown.

pfrench · 25/05/2020 00:23

Oh, and it only needs 60% of the population to obey the rules for R ratings not to go up.

If at this point we were meant to stay home, they'd still be saying stay at home.

Stay alert means you can judge it for yourself. I'd say that going to visit someone who has been isolating for a week, if you have been too.. and you can go to their house without stopping, then come home without stopping, then that's staying alert. You've been alert to a virus by isolating for the suggested period, and by not going via loads of other places and people. You'd be more exposed going to the supermarket.

Mumoftwo0357 · 25/05/2020 00:25

“Second wave here we come..

This is not what is happening in countries where lockdown is being eased.”

The rate of infection is MUCH lower in the countries where lockdown is eased,

Just as it’s lower in those where schools reopened.

There’s no equivalence.

Why aren’t people getting this?

Mumoftwo0357 · 25/05/2020 00:26

If you ease lockdown or open schools with a higher rate of infection than those other countries you will not get the same results

mylittlesandwich · 25/05/2020 00:47

The thing that stops me breaking these rules is imagining what could happen.
I miss my mum so much it's ridiculous. I would love a hug from her. She's been working in a bank for the whole of lockdown. She easily spends more than 15 mins with some customers so could have caught CV. If she had and she met up with me and DH and DS while she's asymptomatic then there's a good chance she'd give it to us and she'd feel awful.
However if one of us has it and we don't know we risk giving it to her, she then infects the people she works with and the customers. I'm then responsible for the only bank in the town closing for at least a fortnight.
Not great, so yes I miss her and my baby is a completely different child compared to when she saw him last. But it's just not worth it.

pfrench · 25/05/2020 00:58

My partner is gong to take our child to meet his parents next week. Before she goes back to school. We're 'in' this week in preparation for this, so are they. Once she's back at school, and I am too, then we're not going to be able to see them even if things are lifted a bit. Same with my parents. So we're doing 'alert' socially distanced meet ups before it happens. Not going in anyone's house, not hugging anyone, just walking or picnicking at a distance. That's alert.

MadameMarie · 25/05/2020 07:29

@mylittlesandwich

Because you're a decent person. Too many are just downright selfish. Now they think because Cummings was a prat it morally gives them carte blanche to do whatever they want.

Irnbroothenoo · 25/05/2020 08:16

Where are all the frothers demonising you like they did Cummings?

userxx · 25/05/2020 08:33

I'm then responsible for the only bank in the town closing for at least a fortnight.

That's some overthinking going on!

Dontforgetyourbrolly · 25/05/2020 08:36

Sticking to the rules now is closing the door after the horse has bolted I'm afraid .

HugeAckmansWife · 25/05/2020 08:41

The problem with the Cummings case is that his wife was actually symptomatic when he travelled. This is not the same as those people in here (and me) who are practising 'smart distancing' as a pp put it. Community R rate is v v low now and if you are not in a high risk category the liklihood if you catching it and / or needing to bother the NHS is also very low. I'm quite scared by the 'rules are rules' mentality and the lack of critical thinking by some. Far more than I'm scared of a second wave overwhelming the NHS. Evidence so far does not suggest this will happen.

Notcoolmum · 25/05/2020 09:14

If it's safe to go to work and kids to go to school why isn't it safe to meet loved ones who you know and trust and can assess the risks between you. I'm glad you had a lovely time OP.

And @Legoandloldolls please go and see your mum. If you are well and minimising your contacts. Some things are too important.

@Redannie118 I'm so sorry and I understand your anger and frustration. Infection risk in hospital is still very high. But out in the community it is very low. There isn't the peak anticipated after VE Day. I wish you a speedy recovery.

Loneliness and mental health matter too.

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