I just broke the rules

[OntheWaves40]

I doubt I’m alone. There is definitely a feeling of Do as I say and not as I do defiance going on.
I hadn’t seen my boyfriend in ages, we went for a walk in the park, it’s just not enough. So I went to his house and spent a few hours with him.
The risks are relatively low, as in he works from home etc but after being so diligent with the rules for so long I’m now totally disheartened by people just doing what the hell they like and now I’ve become one of them.

2. Move my mother who like us has observed social distancing v strictly (she’s in her 50s) in to help with childcare

I'm not sure this is breaking any rules - moving house in general is allowed again and people are viewing properties. I think going backwards and forwards is what wouldn't be allowed, isn't it?

@ToffeeYoghurt not what Drs and nurses are saying and the deaths at home are not majorly high not in the thousands and thousands which they would be if we had just left them
You have no evidence to back your claim , the deaths are in the thousands as it's a deadly disease and people who catch in hospital or care homes are often the most susceptible

@Redannie118

Get well soon

What was it when Cummings did his own assessment? Acting with integrity and in the best interests of his child?

That's what I've done. Carried out a risk assessment and if I hadn't 'broken the rules' the risk of harm was much higher than the very small chance of catching covid. I was at breaking point (feel free to search my username, there's a recent thread) and I've made the decision to come to my mums for a week or so. We aren't going out anywhere, it's not affecting anyone else but things had spiralled so far at home it wasn't in anyone interests to stay there.

But yes, complete cunt for protecting me and my children.

Many elderly were sent to care homes without tests to relieve pressure on the NHS. Many died at home because they left it too late to seek treatment for fear of overwhelming the NHS.

Both of these helped ease the pressure on the NHS as well as the lockdown.

In hindsight the desire to not overwhelm the nhs unintentionally caused harm. Not blaming anyone at all. I was of the same protect the nhs thinking.

Just sharing an observation really.

Thing is with rules they are set on a blanket societal level.

They could hardly say “yes of course it’s logical it’s fine to sit in mums garden so long as you touch nothing and keep 2m apart”.

Because what about all the people who don’t have gardens?

Or “fine if you and another person have been isolated for 6 weeks totally it’s probably fine to go shag”

Because what if one is fibbing? Or others don’t have a person that’s not fair?

They aren’t even laws they are totally unclear guidelines and utter bullshit. Don’t get me wrong I’ve been following them, more or less, but will admit for personal reasons to moving my 10yo from my household to my parents and she is now isolating there. Was it against the rules? Yes. Was there any implicit common sense danger or affect on anyone else in society? No.

The government have effectively ripped up the “rules” we understand and left us in a position we don’t know right from wrong and everyone is living a different way. It’s total madness and is turning us on each other and into a stasi state.

The numbers don’t stack up, the logic doesn’t stack up, the affect on the NHS doesn’t stack up. It’s knee jerk and manipulative and generally a total mess.

The only thing we can do is our best and remain critical thinkers. I can have a cleaner in my house. But not my sister. What if my sister is a cleaner?

I can meet my mum in the morning for a walk and my dad in the afternoon. I can walk near two total strangers if they happen to be on the same path. But if I meet my mum and my dad walking the same path, because I know them it’s suddenly illegal. Do I run away?

I wonder how many non Covid cases stayed at home not to avoid overwhelming the NHS but rather out of fear of catching it? Their concerns are understandable unfortunately. What with all the recent reports noting the R rate remains high in hospitals (and care homes).

What are the rules now though???

@ToffeeYoghurt prob a few and these sort of things are the downsides to lockdown , it can never last forever which some almost seem to think should happen until their is a vaccine etc , great if their is a vaccine but what if there isn't ? We may have to learn to live along side it somehow
The reality is despite what everyone thinks they know we won't know exactly what was right or wrong for a few years once more is known and the correct data is know from all countries( well some we will never know truth )
Take New Zealand for now it def looks like they have done the right things but even they are now having to work out how they can eventually re open their borders and still be protected whilst it's still sweeping the rest of the world
Unfortunately despite what many think the economy has to also be considered without an economy their would be even more loss if lives so getting the balance right will be hard
The discharging without testing to care homes def a big error of judgement by someone

Supposedly we are going to hear about some more things we may be able to do in next few days as well
My guess will be starting from June and I'm hoping a bit more social interactions is included in this

My dp came to mine today, we went for a walk, had tea and cuddled on the sofa watching a film.

He has been horrifically affected by the isolation and lockdown, far more than either of us expected. I would go as far as to say had we not spent today together I may have been planning his funeral and not hoping to one day plan our wedding.

We are both key workers although he has been granted permission to wfh where as I am still in the office/depot.

I appreciate the rules are in place for a reason, but in this instance his mental health was far more important.

Op assuming you have been sensible then I don't see that you have done anything wrong.

Being sent home from hospital early and in pain and at risk is awful. This should not be happening.

However what another person elsewhere in the country does with their boyfriend has no bearing on this.

The two issues are completely separate.

COVID in hospitals now is not a result of people breaching lockdown. Infection is spreading in hospital and care home environments for obvious -hard to avoid at this stage- reasons. Community transition is low. The numbers generally in the UK are low and declining.

The sooner normal service resumes in terms of routine and scheduled hospital appointments, the better.

If you want to be angry, be angry with the government. The guidance is intentionally vague and fear has been used to make people comply. The end result being that people are very wary of coming out of lockdown and the costs are soaring.

marble I hope you have a perfect BMI, have never smoked, don't drink alcohol, don't eat sugar, don't sleep with a bra on, don't live near a city and if you do don't breathe in any of the air.

Honestly it's just been a waste of the last few months of distancing if you're going to act like this.

What? No it hasn't!

Let’s hope the Mumsnet frothers attack you like they did Cummings

I heard the phrase Smart Distancing today and that is really what OP is describing

She’s done a risk assessment, she’s not a complete moron.

The problem is we have developed some strange sense that lockdown is going to solve this problem with a contagious virus. It’s not. Never was going to. In fact, there is actually no evidence that lockdown is even effective for this virus.

The virus transmission rates have followed exactly the same paths in countries with no lockdown, indeed here the r rate dropped from 3 to just above 1 before lockdown. It’s more likely that the virus is just following its natural path and that once you get a 25-30% population infection it starts to slow down anyway. Not go away...we can’t make it go away I’m afraid...it’s tough but we can’t.

I do wonder whether the lockdown enthusiasts even question this at all

The best thing anyone can do right now is get their immune system as healthy as possible. The data is very clear about who this impacts and you can make big improvements to your immune system in 2 weeks if you know what to do.

@hamstersarse do you have any tips? I'd like to boost mine as finish chemo next week and soon be ready to go back into the big wide world! I've seen lots of supplements on amazon. Mushroom ones!

I've broken the rules a few times this week. A relative has a pool we can use. We use side gate. 9/10 times the person is at work. If not we'll over 2m away. Seperate outdoor loo to use. We take own food and drink.

My dd also went to grandparents last weekend. My teen had a meltdown so was safest option

@strugglingwithdeciding
It's not been denied by those in charge that in London the threshold for hospital admittance was temporarily changed. It was widely reported at the time. I've linked a BBC article about it below.
Like I said upthread because of that, people either died at home or died in hospital. Early treatment increases survival chances with any illness.

I suspect this is the real reason why Cummings left London with his family. He knew they'd be more likely to get prompt treatment (had they needed it) outside of London.
www.google.com/amp/s/www.bbc.co.uk/news/amp/health-52317781

In fact, there is actually no evidence that lockdown is even effective for this virus.
Except basic common sense about contagion. Of course a very infectious disease spreads more when there's more people for it to spread to.

It's not true proper lockdown doesn't work. Look at NZ.

I haven't seen any 'lockdown enthusiasts'. Quite the opposite. There are those who want the UK government to take the simple measures other counties have already taken. Which would make easing lockdown safer. They want this in order to avoid prolonging the agony. So we don't end up having to continue with some kind of semi lockdown or face economically and psychologically disruptive stop, start, stop, start.

Don't people want precautionary measures implemented?

We all want lockdown ended. Some of us want to follow suit of other countries in having a more sustainable and safer easing.

We had the day from hell yesterday with our 18 month old, both of us were mentally broken - heavens above are you not capable of looking after your own child with two of you there? I am sorry to be so blunt, but breaking the lockdown rules and putting others at risk because you have had to look after one toddler all day and are fed up.....really?

It appears some people still think The rules were in place to some how eradicate the disease. It was to stop the nhs being overwhelmed. It has been successful.

The trouble is I think quite a few people think the rules were in place to somehow eradicate the risk of the NHS being overwhelmed, and that now it's job done so we can go back to normal. But we can't eradicate that risk permanently any more than we can eradicate the virus itself.

The NHS is only safe from being overwhelmed while whatever necessary measures to keep virus circulation low are in place. Lockdown for now, testing and tracking next, with a gradual transition between the two, and as much physical distancing as we need at all stages. We'll all see a lot more of family when rates of infection are low, but there are still going to be times we have to scale that back and mix less.

I think the solution is fairly simple. If you don’t want to follow the rules and therefore risk getting Covid, then you need to sign some sort of waiver to say you won’t use the NHS should you catch the virus and need any medical help.
Sounds fair to me

I think lots of frustration comes not only for the length of time we have been apart from families/friends, and the Dominic Cummings fiasco, but the fact some rules just seem to be ridiculous. For example you can’t give your mum a lift to the supermarket down the road, but you can car share with three colleagues for an hour to the office. You can’t have a picnic with your mum and dad in the park (2m apart), but you can sit with ten people in a office for the whole day. These rules no longer make sense.

I think you should be able to mix closely with one or two households. I agree with a lot of the rules like no large gatherings, and social distancing generally, but there needs to be some common sense used. I do not care if primark opens yet or not, but I do care about seeing the odd family member, or doing something important like seeing a dentist. I hope Boris talks some kind of sense on the 28th. We have stuck by the rules, but no-one around us has. Neighbours even had family stay for the weekend. Others having bbqs in the park. Daughter’s snapchat is filled with people she knows hugging each other and hanging out together in groups.

I nearly lost my DS last year to sepsis and pneumonia. If you've bern a mum that has lived life on a PICU ward.....then youd never flout a rule that could put you back there!