Is anyone else reluctant to send their dc to school, not because of the virus, but for fear of being judged?

[Fluffyglitterystuff]

One of my dc is in the year group to go back to school on 1st June.

I'm happy with the plans that the school have put in place. For various personal reasons I believe that going back will be beneficial for my child.

Although the school plans are in place and on the whole quite positive, there is definitely a slight undertone of trying to put people off. They've said that they're not expecting many in at first.

I'm still not sure that the June opening will even go ahead from government and I suspect it all might get delayed, but if it does I wonder if those who are first back will forever be viewed as terrible people who don't care about children or teachers.

Lots will keep them home then probably regret it within a week as things will be fine and they will realise they should have let them go. Whatever you do will be wrong in people's eyes , it's human nature to judge or follow the crowd. You do what you feel is right for your child. Schools will be very vigilant and I'm sure the children will be ok.
It's not for long then they will off again as it is for the holidays.
It's a big percentage in our school to return so lots of people will feel it's safe. Your not alone here!

Thanks wouid feel more judged if I didnt send them back TBH

Ffs you need to grow some balls. Make your decision best for your family and stick to it.

You'll be judged if you do and judged if you don't.

Just don't discuss it with others if you're paranoid.

Idiots judging me just confirms that I am right

My 3 will be going back as soon as they can. I don’t need to send them for childcare reasons. I’m doing it as I believe the risk is minimal and I think it much more beneficial/healthier for them to be at school. I may change my mind but this is how I feel right now. I don’t care if I’m judged. Each to their own. Peace man.

If my ds were primary school aged, and his school was opening on June 1st and he could go, he'd be going. I wouldn't give a flying wotsit about "being judged". He is not vulnerable, I am not vulnerable, DH is not vulnerable.

Ditto if I had a nursery aged child and her nursery were reopening. Yes I would absolutely send her!

In any event, key worker children have been in school throughout.

Mine is not in the year groups to go back, but no, I wouldn't feel at all judged. We do have a village school where parents (well, mums, mostly) seem to have an awful lot of free time on their hands and seem to find any excuse to not send their dc to school. There is always a lot of grumbling at the school gates about the head being disapproving of their 'duvet days' and 'little Joey was just too tired to get up and get dressed today'. I'm sure they're loving this. But no, I wouldn't worry about feeling judged personally. I'm one of the few mums in the class who work full-time, but I'm also a scientist and I wouldn't be comfortable doing it if I thought there was a good scientific justification not to. I just wish they'd take mine too!

Let them judge. I would have sent DS back if it wasn't for the school deciding that only children of "going out to work" parents are allowed. So I'd actively decided he could go back even though we didn't need him to

Lots will keep them home then probably regret it within a week as things will be fine and they will realise they should have let them go.

I have a feeling this will happen. There is so much 'oh my god, kids are going to be so damaged by having to sit at tables away from others and not being able to wipe snot all over each other, and if I send my child into school then all kids are going to DIE', but kids are very resilient in lots of ways, and will adapt really easily. Those kids will have a great time being back at school, the sky will not fall in and parents will start regretting not sending their own kids in.

I have been in my school looking after key worker kids and it really has been business as usual really, the kids are perfectly happy and the world has continued to turn! It's been great actually!

This thread is like a breath of fresh air from the WhatsApp groups I am on!

I'm happy with the plans that the school have put in place. For various personal reasons I believe that going back will be beneficial for my child.

there you go. I couldn't care less what people think and you surely won't be the only one letting her child return to school.

One of my children is in Y6 and unless there's a change in circumstances, he'll be going back.

For the reasons that others have given, plus it's extremely likely that school will continue to be adjusted to minimise cv19 risk into the autumn and I'd like him to have as much social contact, routine and 'ordinary' experiences as possible.

Both df and I are wfh and dd won't be going back, so if he does contract the virus it won't go beyond our family group. The rate of transmission in our area is very low at the moment and as we've hardly been out, I feel as sure as I can at the moment, that none of us are incubating it.

Please put your child's best interest before judgement from others.

Our headteacher has sent a couple of really hostile, IMO, letters about school reopening, trying to put parents off.

Basically along the lines of if you want to MURDER your children and my staff then crack on and send in your children. Ok I exaggerate but that's how I read it.

Whilst my children are not in the relevant years yet I will be sending them in because working and home schooling is so tricky and I am feeling myself going slowly crazy.

I don't care what other people or the school think to be honest. I think many parents feel this way quietly but remain silent because there is so much noise from others who have the HT's view.

Yes, I feel judged. The school isn’t being negative, but the class WhatsApp group is overwhelmingly against children going back to school. I’m the only person who said they were thinking about it. School have now confirmed there will be 10 children in her year group when the school reopens - this is out of a class of 45. My sister has also been posting on FB about how unsafe it will be for schools to reopen, and I haven’t told her about my decision as I don’t want to get lectured

My DCs aren't in the appropriate year groups, but as soon as school is open to them, they will be in.

I don't care if other people quietly keep their DCs off. People who think I'm an attempted murderer can judge me after spending a morning attempting to home teach my DCs. DS1 has ASD, dyslexia and dyspraxia. We've had days when it took over half an hour to write the fucking date because meltdown 1 started on the trigger word "diary" and 15 minutes later when he came back from his bedroom, he scribbled "T" and I asked him to use his best (for him) writing and we had meltdown 2.
I might be a SAHM with a decade of teaching experience, but that doesn't count for much when his ASD resents the mixing of home and school life and the kitchen table is where you eat not study with mum and a y2.

Hopefully by the time mine are invited back, all the furore of the last few weeks will have been another damp squib like the VE day spike that isn't even blipping in the test data 14 days later.

I would worry more about the kid being judged and eventually treated differently than myself tbh

Why on earth would anyone judge a kid? It’s not their decision. I cannot believe any teacher would judge a child for a decision their parent has made. They are professionals.

I get what you mean OP. I don’t need them to go back. I have assessed the risks and believe the benefits to outweigh those risks.

Mines going back as are most of the others as far as I’m aware. I’d judge the school for their negativity and not wanting them back, personally.

I’d judge the school for their negativity and not wanting them back, personally

Agreed. I’ve heard of some schools phoning parents to encourage them not to send children back in, and seen some of those ridiculous social media posts. I would be looking to remove my children from those schools.
Our head has been nothing but positive. Obviously the logistics have been a massive challenge but she’s said all along that she’s keen to get as many children as possible back in.

Well, if anyone judges you, that makes it a lot easier to work out who you want to be around and who you don't. I'm sending DD back. I'm not judging people who make a different decision - we all have to figure it out for ourselves. If someone judges me they can go right ahead because I have no time for people like that.

But then, my lack of concern for what other people think is probably one of my greatest strengths and, at times, greatest weaknesses.

It's interesting. I'm not sending mine back and worry about being judged for that!

My decision isn't actually covid related but I don't want people to think I'm into the scaremongering.

I'm not bothered about what people think, but I do think that school will be judging parents who don't send their children back to school & will blame them for poor results & any problems children have.

I don't feel judged for sending mine back but I have felt a little frustrated at our WhatsApp group where parents are saying it isn't safe to send their DC back now but they'll wait and see how things go with everyone else's DCs for a few weeks and then maybe send theirs a couple of weeks before the end of term

@puppymouse I’m cba to get annoyed about that kind of thing. The risk is within my personal accepted range, if seeing that the world doesn’t fall in reassures others that’s fine by me.