Is anyone else reluctant to send their dc to school, not because of the virus, but for fear of being judged?

[Fluffyglitterystuff]

One of my dc is in the year group to go back to school on 1st June.

I'm happy with the plans that the school have put in place. For various personal reasons I believe that going back will be beneficial for my child.

Although the school plans are in place and on the whole quite positive, there is definitely a slight undertone of trying to put people off. They've said that they're not expecting many in at first.

I'm still not sure that the June opening will even go ahead from government and I suspect it all might get delayed, but if it does I wonder if those who are first back will forever be viewed as terrible people who don't care about children or teachers.

[puppymouse]

@Teateaandmoretea good outlook. I just feel like some kids have to get the ball rolling and these parents are basically saying "you can send your kid in, test it all out and if it doesn't work I won't be any worse off."

But that's totally their choice to do that.

[TellerTuesday4EVA]

Massively especially when I realised that there was only me & one other parent planning to send them back out of a class of 30. As it happens school has now confirmed they will remain closed anyway until 15th June at the earliest but I just can't get my head round it. We're in a town where there has only been 5 confirmed cases, no deaths.

[Delatron]

My Yr6 is going back and to be honest I’m
pretty pissed off with the tone of our school. Trying to put us off, saying they are surprised so many will be going in and talking about ‘increased risk’.

I am perfectly capable of reading all the evidence out there and making my own risk assessment and basing my judgment on what is best for my child and my family.

I honestly think we’ll look back in years to come and think keeping children out of eduction for this time was a huge mistake.

I also accidentally exited the school WhatsApp groups a long time ago. That helps. Oh and all my friends are very likeminded!

[Divebar]

I’ve just been told today that my DD won’t be going back until September and not full time until at least end of October - have to say I’m pretty gutted by that as my daughter is an only child and hasn’t seen another child since lockdown began. If she could go in June 1st I would send her without much of an issue. The other parents on the WhatsApp group are already saying that start date of October is too soon. They obviously live in some parallel universe to me. I did see someone ranting on social media ( who I do not know directly) saying that if people send their children to school on 1st June then it’s DISGUSTING and to go ahead and UNFRIEND yourself because she doesn’t want to know you anymore. ( emphasis hers). I would have happily unfriended myself - I thought she was a moron.

[Widowodiw]

@Delatron I couldn’t agree more. All these posts looking for validation as to whether they should send them in or not. It’s 2020 and the info is out there. Make a decision and own it.

[MadamShazam]

Schools in Scotland will be going back part time on the 11th August, and I cannot wait. We need some normality back, and my daughter needs to see other children!

[MrsFogi]

I would send my dcs in tomorrow if schools were taking their year groups.

[strugglingwithdeciding]

My sons school already not opening on 1st likely something week after but he's year 10 and I think it's important he goes in if I'm happy with arrangements and it's no one else's business and I don't care if I'm judged as I'm his parent and I capable of making an informed decision for us , but your right people judging both ways when it's really non of their business

[InfiniteSheldon]

Stop paying attention to the frothing minority and do what you judge to be best

[DominaShantotto]

I very much get the impression one school's head teacher is pissed off I'm sending my child back, not in the target year groups, but she's now being classed as vulnerable because her mental health and language has regressed so much (SN as well to deal with but no EHCP) and me and the class teacher have pushed to get her back in for the social interaction and mental health element of it.

Head keeps sending increasingly mardy mails out about how the unreasonable number of priority kids are causing staffing problems but I'm fighting my highly socialised people pleaser streak and standing firm, supported by the class teacher. I just keep telling myself for all the huffing and puffing the Head is trying to do what she thinks is right and she'd hold firm like I am if it was her own kid suffering like mine is. We're also moving on from the school soon anyway so I'm not really giving a shiny shit right now.

The other school approached me and said they knew we were struggling and having challenging behaviour, they felt DD would benefit from coming back in - what days did I want?!

[Shannaratiger]

I don't care. Have phoned up ds's school, he's year 8, begging them to let him in 2 days a week. His mental health has got so bad he's getting suicidal. Luckily I'm back to work as a school dinner lady on the 1st June even though DH has just had a text saying his condition makes him high risk! Have to do what's best for your family.

[Delatron]

The impact on our childrens’ mental health is far more of a risk of this virus.

[Nekoness]

In our school, two thirds (of R, year 1, y6) have chosen to go. I don’t know whether all of Y6 and none of reception, just know the overall number of kids in those years and the number of kids who are expected to return on 1st. This is in addition to the key worker group of 9 kids.

Every other class year will suffer because some their teachers are being pulled off online teaching and have to go in on 1 June to babysit the years returning. The school has told us there is zero chance they can implement these measures for even half the school - it’s physically impossible as there isn’t enough room. And of course, there’s not enough staff. Yeah, I didn’t see the govt throw any money at this either.

[snappycamper]

Our headteacher has sent a couple of really hostile, IMO, letters about school reopening, trying to put parents off.

Basically along the lines of if you want to MURDER your children and my staff then crack on and send in your children. Ok I exaggerate but that's how I read it.

Emails from my kids' school have been like this too. I'm pissed off, but I don't care if people judge. My children need to be in school as soon as it's allowed. For their sake, not mine.

[wintertravel1980]

My 3 year old DD will be returning to nursery in June 2 days a week.

She doesn't need to. I have got a full time nanny. However, DD is an only child and I strongly believe the benefits of socialisation for her outweigh the very small risk of getting the virus.

DD has not been able to interact with other children since the lockdown. A few days ago she told me: "Everything is closed... even my friends are closed". It was heart breaking.

Children need to spend time with other children. Isolating them for weeks and months is likely to have long term consequences and I want to avoid this for my DD.

[Teateaandmoretea]

Every other class year will suffer because some their teachers are being pulled off online teaching and have to go in on 1 June to babysit the years returning. The school has told us there is zero chance they can implement these measures for even half the school - it’s physically impossible as there isn’t enough room. And of course, there’s not enough staff. Yeah, I didn’t see the govt throw any money at this either.

But not all the teachers will be required so others will be there to set work. Another fantastic ‘can do’ attitude displayed by your school there 🤔

[JemimaPyjamas]

Another saying this thread is a breath of fresh air! My DS is also an only and I hope for him to go back as soon as he can too, the current situation has really affected him and he needs more structure and normality. Mostly he needs to have proper contact with other kids!

I spoke to his teacher this week and she said that there will 'hopefully be some provision' for kids to go back early (we are lucky as semi rural and it's a small school) so will email in due course. One of his classmates hasn't left THE HOUSE IN THREE MONTHS! I did wonder if this was due to the parents being vulnerable, or some other more valid reason, but no, it's 'to keep the children safe'. I think this is madness. (I had a conversation with her when she was hanging out a window)

[NothingIsWrong]

Mine are in two days a week when I'm working. They love it and would be going back with their year groups if they could but they are Y2 and Y5. My mental health is shaky right now and I don't think I would be coping without them in school and my job.

[melodien]

Yes i have been very disappointed with my DS's school - they have posted their strong views all over social media and in the school newsletter. DH and I are keyworkers and are sending DS in so we can work. We can't help but feel like they resent us for sending him in, but we have little choice. I think its very unprofessional for them to voice their private opinions to parents (however legitimate their concerns are).

My DD's school has been much more professional and sent out factual but neutral communications which I appreciate.

[locked2020]

It's been a big decision for me, and most parents I know have had to weigh up the pros and cons for their circumstances - some are sending, some are not. Nearly everyone (me included) has felt they had to cite their reasons for fear of being judged, whichever route they chose.

[Uhoh2020]

I had to leave a class WhatsApp group because I was feeling judged for wanting my ds to return to school, only by a few Mums I might add, but still felt I had to withdraw myself to protect my mental health and also control my inner keyboard warrior coming out and causing shit storm in the virtual playground.
I respect anyone's decision to either return their dc to school or keep them at home I'm sure no one has come to the decision lightly and considered all the pros/cons, but dont make out I'm neglectful or I dont care enough or even worse I'm going to kill him or someone else by sending him to school.

[ladygracie]

I’m teaching one of the year groups going back - it genuinely wouldn’t occur to me to judge anyone. We have emphasised what school will be like and how different it will be to usual not to put people off but so that children will be prepared for what it’s like. We have kids very excited to be coming back as they will see their friends but possibly haven’t thought about how different it will be.

[canthisbeoveralready]

Interestingly in France the majority of children who have returned are from wealthier families. Children from poorer families are staying home.

[NeedingCoffee]

Our school sent a survey. Parents of 90% of children in all three year groups allowed have replied to say they’ll be sending them in. We have lots and lots of working parents. I honestly doubt you’ll will be alone in a decision to send them.

[happytoday73]

When I get the oppertunity to do so I will send my children... Without comment.

Ive got bored of trying to explain the risk..