Is anyone else reluctant to send their dc to school, not because of the virus, but for fear of being judged?

[Fluffyglitterystuff]

One of my dc is in the year group to go back to school on 1st June.

I'm happy with the plans that the school have put in place. For various personal reasons I believe that going back will be beneficial for my child.

Although the school plans are in place and on the whole quite positive, there is definitely a slight undertone of trying to put people off. They've said that they're not expecting many in at first.

I'm still not sure that the June opening will even go ahead from government and I suspect it all might get delayed, but if it does I wonder if those who are first back will forever be viewed as terrible people who don't care about children or teachers.

[CurlyEndive]

Apparently over 90% of parents at my DC's school are planning to send their children back.

[Magicbabywaves]

My children’s school has been very welcoming and I feel happy that they are happy, so to speak. I can send two children in and they are starting after next week if it all goes ahead. There has certainly been a fair few on the what’s app saying they are keeping their child off, ok that’s fine. What I’ve found tricky is that as a former teacher, I feel my ex colleagues don’t think very highly of me for sending them in, but then they don’t have children of their own which is making me think they are looking at it from one angle and me another.

[Teateaandmoretea]

@Whitegrenache I think what’s interesting is how different schools have reacted. Ours have just said the teachers are ready and looking forward to going back. They weren’t negative when they asked them if the children were going back unlike some of the accounts on here.

[Whitegrenache]

I'm the only
One in our WhatsApp group sending my ds back to year 6 - my dp and I are both working full time (albeit, in wfh) and we can't home school as we are so busy
Ds is having the time of his life playing outside and on his xbox but I feel he needs some structure back.
Unfortunately our school has announced this week that due to a lot of the staff self isolating due to being vulnerable year 6 will now NOT be going back...
All of the staff at this school are under 40 with a very very low staff sickness so god knows what they vulnerablity is.. this may be harsh but people have been told to go wit work where they can't work from home and government has told school to get yrs F 1 and 6 back

Just do it ffs

[Teateaandmoretea]

To be honest the ‘looked disgusted’ camp I judge it is up to parents.

My opinion is that a lot of people without children aren’t happy that the government are prioritising education rather than opening up the things that they do. They think if schools remain shut that they will be able to get on with their lives quicker. Children themselves don’t have any kind of voice in this and I’m really pleased at least the government seem to want to prioritise them.

I do not believe for a minute that most of the opposition is out of concern for the children.

In terms of the Irish in laws the pubs in Ireland are pressuring government to open in June. Yeah brilliant, schools are shut but the Guinness family is protected. It’s throwing children under a bus while prioritising the wants of adults (predominantly men) who are worse effected. Go figure.

[YouLando]

I feel that I'll be judged if I send DD back. I was working pt, but lost my job after lockdown, so am currently a SAHM, with DH wfm full time.

Yes, we could logistically easily keep DD at home, but she's an only child and is getting increasingly miserable at home. Her enthusiasm for home learning is definitely on the wane, partly as her school hasn't been in touch with us, and no actual work is set, bar links and suggestions of resources we could use. She's year 6, and is desperate to go back, even though she understands that it won't be a return to what school was like on March 20th. I do fear judgement from DH's family in Ireland too, as they are firmly in the 'it can't possibly be safe' camp, and are happy with their govt's decision to keep schools closed until after the summer.

[JTTWC]

My reception age child will be going back. Despite trying to do fun things with her and keep her happy she looks so down. Funnily enough there was a survey about a week ago where most parents from the school said they would not be sending their child back if it was to reopen on June 1st. However when parents were asked to fill in the form if they wanted their child to return to school it seemed most of them actually did! I wonder if it's because the school stated at the bottom of the letter that unless we filled in the form that there would not be a place for them at the moment. I spoke with my neighbour about it yesterday and she looked absolutely disgusted when I said I would be sending her back!

[Delatron]

It’s funny isn’t it. I don’t care what anybody else does as I have no idea of their circumstances.

Says a lot more about the judgy people than those just cracking on with what is best for them.

I’d wholly recommend leaving school WhatsApp groups, you don’t miss much!

[chipshopElvis]

No, I can only make the right decision for my child with the information that I have. I'm not worried about being judged at all.

[Bluewarbler27]

Mine aren’t in a year group but my children are going to school after the holidays for a couple of days a week. They’ve had full time places the whole time but we’ve not used them. I don’t care what others says Now. They are struggling and it’s time to return.

[jameswenttogetgordonscoaches]

My toddler is going back to nursery, although me and DP can wfh and no pressure from work to send toddler back, they are leaving it entirely up to parents. We are saving £1k a month on nursery fees currently.

I am really struggling with my mental health juggling work and childcare full time with very limited activities to do/places to go vs pre-lockdown. So is DP. We have felt very close to relationship breakdown at times.

Our nursery's measures sound sensible and balanced. Most parents aren't sending children back so it will be small groups and they are planning to be outside as much as possible - they have huge grounds and forest school.

No one I know is sending children back, or if they are it's very reluctantly because they have no choice. Definitely feel judged for 'not wanting to parent my child' or 'putting my needs above his'.

[unicorngymnastics]

I definitely feel judged and have muted parent whatsapp groups etc.

[wherestheotherone]

My youngest is going into school this next week. We've had a keyworker place for her but managed to keep her at home. It's been incredibly difficult for all of us and she has not had the attention or structure she needs because we have been working all day.

10 weeks of this and she isn't happy. She cries more, she does naughty things out of frustration and argues. She is not the girl I know she is. She needs children to play with! She needs to run and climb trees etc. We took her to climb trees yesterday because the playgrounds are closed and I've not seen her so happy in weeks.

I know I'm doing the right thing for her but I still feel bad.

[Sillysop92]

My year 6 is going back. People can judge if they want. I’ve no idea how many of the class will be going back, but I doubt I’m the only parent.

[Breadandroses1]

Our school has had relentlessly positive messaging about how pleased they are to welcome them back. Big MAT though so think communications are policed!

There have been a couple of parents trying to whip up on whatsapp who have been roundly ignored by most.

Did bump into another parent today who said, in front of DD, that her yr1 'wasn't going in because he said he didn't want to die'. I mean FFS. We're in London so v low community transmission.

[Siameasy]

Seriously sod other people’s opinions.
Actually I’m a little disappointed that DD’s school aren’t opening regular school for her year group. I think it will do her good to go back and the house is a FRIGGING TIP and I would like JUST ONE DAY ALONE to clean it

[Drivingdownthe101]

Yeah that’s what we’ve had. Links to white rose maths, a times tables rockstars login and pointed in the direction of Twinkl.

[happytoday73]

@Nekoness
My schools not doing any online teaching.. Ks2... Nor are any non private primary schools near me in an area that's quite affluent (so not due to lack of electronic devices) ..
One of 3 teachers for that group takes it in turn to upload links to that weeks white rose maths, a couple of twinkle comprehensions and a another topic... Perhaps geography, RE or science.

Children have a spellings book and maths book...they do times table rock stars, spelling shed and maths shed online...

No evidence of work being completed is required and nothing is sent in for marking.

I asked about how they would want the work back and if needed to be marked... Teacher suggested it didn't matter

@CountFosco
Perhaps they send them back as carry out their own analysis of risks, don't swallow the hype people are spreading and make an informed, educated decision based on their family situation.

[HeadSpin5]

I couldn’t agree more. I posted this on another thread but seeing ‘concerns about social conditioning’ being touted on FB as a reason not to open schools (not just in June but basically ever, until vaccine) was really frustrating and disturbing. Yes it will be different and yes it’ll take a little getting used to - some more than others. But queuing and washing your hands more and keeping to set groups for a while is no more ‘social conditioning’ then current rituals! Everything is, until it becomes the norm. Even more disappointingly this was posted by a teacher. Am NOT general teacher bashing, ours have been nothing but positive and keen, this is a specific incidence but as she was a teacher she alarmed a lot of already worried parents.

Mine isn’t in the year due back first but when the time comes, she will be going. She is an only, she’s alone and sad. She had two Ft WFH parents who can’t afford the house without both salaries and can’t effectively hone school her and do our jobs at the same time, long term. And we only have one!

[cocktailoclock]

Thank you for this thread - it does feel like a breath of fresh air.
We are not in the years going back but mine will be going back in a shot. They are lonely and sad and we are both working in high pressure, senior jobs which are directly impacted by the crisis. In my case, thousands of people's jobs and livelihood depend on what I do.
Our school have provided poor provision (have raised with the head, exec head and chair) and while the whatapps agree that the kids are getting a raw deal compared to other schools and that the kids are worryingly sad and lonely, many are concerned about sending the back. That the kids will feel weird about standing in queue to get into school etc.
I feel like I'm living in a parallel universe. The Park is packed - with tens of families playing together, kids are standing getting pizza in the queue social distancing but the very same families are worried about the risks of going back to school.
We are in London - 17% of people have had it here- our borough one of the worse effected so could be well higher. So it would have been much riskier before lockdown than now. We almost certainly had it straight after lockdown.

[SuperMumTum]

I don't give a shit what anyone else thinks. My kids are going to school to learn, to socialise, to have a break from me and each other and so I can go to work.

[Teateaandmoretea]

in a previous thread there was a link to an article (in the Economist?) saying higher socio economic groups were more likely to want to send their DC back to school. Why I don't know, it might be because they are more likely to be able to WFH and want their DC out of the way, someone on that thread suggested it was because we're less likely to have been personally affected by Covid-19 than people in lower socio-economic groups.

And possibly because having been to university etc we are better able to analyse the information available/ evaluate actual risk. So we are less likely to be led by the ‘if you loved you’re bubba you’d keep them safe’ crap that is apparently on social media.

[Uhoh2020]

@Divebar I have seen a few Mums from my dc school quoting what you said about the teachers not helping if a child falls or has as accident and blatantly saying I'm not sending my child back to that and the photos on the media of schools abroad showing kids sat on X on the floor has not helped at all, when in fact our actual school have not suggested anything of the sort! Some parents are possibly making their decision by the scaremongering in the media than what's really going on in their own schools

[user1000000000000000001]

I got called disgusting and vile and that the school clearly think I'm that shit that my children are better in school when I posted on here that she was being kept in to start with.

Reality is for her needs it was the best option. School knew this as did I.

[CountFosco]

Our school did a survey of YR, Y1, and Y6 parents. Out of 270 children, 220 want to go back. School (who have been wonderful with key worker children and whose first few messages about the return to school were reasonably neutral) seem to be trying to put people off now. Teachers seem to be very against it but in a previous thread there was a link to an article (in the Economist?) saying higher socio economic groups were more likely to want to send their DC back to school. Why I don't know, it might be because they are more likely to be able to WFH and want their DC out of the way, someone on that thread suggested it was because we're less likely to have been personally affected by Covid-19 than people in lower socio-economic groups.