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Original poster

Queuing finally broke me today

140 replies

SpringBlossomIsBeautiful · 20/05/2020 12:19

I’ve continued to work throughout as I’m SE & don’t qualify for any grants etc.
I’m shopping for 3 families who haven’t left their houses for 9 weeks due to shielding. It’s stressful with endless lists, receipts etc as well as extremely time consuming.
Today I got to Tesco at 8.10am as I needed to be at work for 9.30 (5 minutes drive).
I was 3rd from the front by 9am when we were stopped to let the elderly & vulnerable in (I have no issues with this) .
At 9.25 I had to leave the queue empty handed. Over an hour of my day wasted & now I to go back this afternoon to get what I couldn’t get 😫
I’m exhausted & just don’t think I can do it anymore but at the same time I can’t let them go without.

OP posts:
Gazelda · 20/05/2020 12:23

Are you not able to shop online? I'm sure I've seen somewhere that Tesco have special arrangements for people who are shopping for others who need to shield.
It sounds like s much pressure on you. Combined with being self employed, I'm not surprised that you're feeling so down.

Anyone you can ask for help, or to share the load?

Ninkanink · 20/05/2020 12:27

Are you doing this as a volunteer or are they friends/family?

If you’re volunteering, maybe skip a few weeks. You need to look after yourself too.

If it’s friends or family, perhaps they should switch to ordering Morrison’s boxes (if available in your area). They are perfectly fine for getting through for a few weeks.

emmathedilemma · 20/05/2020 12:29

click & collect slots have become really abundant round here, I could have had any time slot in the next week when I booked one yesterday. I'd look at doing that, that way your families could do their own ordering and paying and you just pick it up for them.

Pebble21uk · 20/05/2020 12:30

What a nightmare for you! Those families shielding are eligible for priority supermarket delivery slots. If they (or you on their behalf) register on the Gov site: www.gov.uk/coronavirus-extremely-vulnerable You will either have supermarkets approach you via email or you can phone the supermarket and they will have the names on a list and should give you priority booking.

I'm in the shielding group and was offered slots by Iceland. I usually shop with Tesco and phoned them - they have now offered me priority booking - no guarantees of a slot but it helps.

I also do all the shopping for my elderly parents who are also shielding. I can just have the order sent straight to their address - seems preferable to the hassle of queueing and also having to carry and distribute the shopping for 3 families!

If you are on the list, you also receive a 'government food parcel' every week - so if you can't get them a slot, they won't go without basics and will get a box of goods - like pasta, rice, tins, fruit... delivered to their door anyway.

crustycrab · 20/05/2020 12:32

You are the only person shopping for 3 shielding families and your own?

No, there are plenty of online slots available now. They can do their own shopping or if they aren't capable of learning how you can set them up a recurring slot with the things they need

Original poster
SpringBlossomIsBeautiful · 20/05/2020 12:34

They are friends.
Thanks for the suggestions I’ll look into them .
I’ve just messaged them to say I can’t deliver today (that takes me about an hour & half) & I’ll drop their shopping off in the morning.
They are lovely but I really think because they’ve not been out they really do not understand how shops work now !

OP posts:
Shortfeet · 20/05/2020 12:35

You’re doing too much. I’m not surprised you feel so low.
I’m not working and I shop for one other person plus my own family and I’m feeling overwhelmed

Shortfeet · 20/05/2020 12:36

Sorry, can you explain shielding ? And why the other families can’t leave the house ? Apologies for being thick

cookiemonster5 · 20/05/2020 12:37

My husband is shielding and we have got priority access to home delivery so you don't need to be busting your ass for those shielding. Fair enough if they need something urgently and it's been missed on their shopping but if they registered there is plenty help available.

Give yourself a break and let them know it's not possible for you to keep shopping for them and offer to help them register for online shopping.

Original poster
SpringBlossomIsBeautiful · 20/05/2020 12:38

During the first 4/5 weeks of lockdown 1 families shopping was coming to around £350 a week - that shows how much I was having to buy (no booze in that either !)

OP posts:
MrsCrosbyNRTB · 20/05/2020 12:45

Ah, @SpringBlossomIsBeautiful I feel some of your pain. I’ve been shopping for several people during lockdown as well plus I have 3 children at home and I’m a part time key worker.

It’s been Hard Work and I’m so bloody sick of it. Covid can really do one

I have been lucky on occasion with Tesco delivery slots - I’d recommend downloading the app and checking a few times a day as slots do come up due to cancellations do come up. Flowers

Floatyboat · 20/05/2020 12:46

That's a crazy amount per week. What do they eat? Try going at different time of day.

ClientQ · 20/05/2020 12:48

@Shortfeet extremely vulnerable have been advised to shield, so not leave the house (no walks/shopping etc)

cornish009 · 20/05/2020 12:48

My husband is extremely clinically vulnerable so our household is all shielding. We haven't been out to the shops for 9 weeks now so rely on delivery slots - I also have to organise delivery slots for elderly relatives also. I have been able to get delivery slots (and actually have had to have a spreadsheet so I know who is coming when, and to what household). I have found very limited help for being shielded, except Tescos allow you to order 4 weeks in advance instead of 3. I have found it all managable though, so would advice the OP to try and get shopping delivered to the different households.

I have found Tescos good but the only complaint is a limit of 80 items per week - and we have a large family so that is nowhere near enough.
Morrisons seem to have a very limited range available to order, with vegetables and meat being the most difficult items to get. But Morrisons food boxes are always available and although no choice they have been good quality.
Iceland release slots for the next day and actually have been really good with few substitutions. But a bit pricey for anything that isn't frozen.
Sainsburys slots have been difficult to get but once you have they have most items available.
Asda - have never yet got a slot, despite being given priority because of shielding.

So my advice - make a spreadsheet!!

inwood · 20/05/2020 12:49

I get where you are coming from but it was probably a bit ambitious to fit it in before work!

Can you not get any slots, ours are all back to normal now.

B1rdbra1n · 20/05/2020 12:50

They are friends
Some 'friends' treating you like a slave 😳

NamesNamesSoManyNames · 20/05/2020 12:51

The people you are shopping for should be able to get delivery slots if they are shielding. If they can not set it up, perhaps you could set up accounts for them and have it delivered to them?

Lozza70 · 20/05/2020 12:52

Most supermarkets are much quieter at the end of the day now so could you go shopping at 6pm for example? The queues will not be so long and there is not the specific hours for NHS and elderly customers.
Also as others have said there are many more slots for online deliveries and click and collect now. Sainsburys is doing double the orders they usually do and in our area you can now get a slot virtually every week even when not on the vulnerable lists.
Doing 4 families shopping is a nightmare.

SimpleKindofLife · 20/05/2020 12:53

Could they/you do online shopping? If they're shielding they should be able to get a priority slot. Even you could get one for yourself, I'm still getting Tesco slots fine?

It's lovely and you're doing a nice thing but this isn't sustainable for you. Give yourself a break Flowers

Lynda07 · 20/05/2020 12:54

You are so good, Spring!

Today I have booked two home deliveries - one from Co-op coming late this afternoon, one from Iceland tomorrow evening. Your friends can surely do the same or, if not computer literate, can have it done for them.

My son who is largely self isolating (he's a musician who was sent home from European tour a while back), goes to supermarket. He decided not to queue for ages and went to a nearby Co-op where he got most of what he wanted. We can still 'shop around' a bit if not too far from home and if we have a car.

You are doing great but cannot do the impossible!

Doowop20 · 20/05/2020 12:55

I don’t see how one person can do that amount of shopping indefinitely. Even when you finally get in the store it must be hard to get that volume of stuff.

I am shopping for my small family and my elderly parents and that is tricky enough.

MissEliza · 20/05/2020 12:55

Op I'm amazed you've been doing this for as long as you have. You're an absolute star. I think you and your friends need to look at the alternatives pp have suggested.

Doggybiccys · 20/05/2020 12:57

you need to explore online - if you had to be at work for 930am and it takes an hour and a half to deliver, how would you have managed that even if you had got in on time? sounds v stressful - nobody needs that.

TinkerPony · 20/05/2020 12:58

Why can't your friends do online shopping themselves? It is too much burden on you.
Plus working on top of it.

UnholyStramash · 20/05/2020 12:58

Is it possible the people you’re helping don’t know you’re shopping for two other households too? It seems like a lot of effort on your part, especially as there are various other options for them to get their shopping in. You need to make changes, OP. It’s okay to change things when you realise it’s too much. I know you want to help your friends but you’re not bionic and you’re clearly exhausted.