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Original poster

Queuing finally broke me today

140 replies

SpringBlossomIsBeautiful · 20/05/2020 12:19

I’ve continued to work throughout as I’m SE & don’t qualify for any grants etc.
I’m shopping for 3 families who haven’t left their houses for 9 weeks due to shielding. It’s stressful with endless lists, receipts etc as well as extremely time consuming.
Today I got to Tesco at 8.10am as I needed to be at work for 9.30 (5 minutes drive).
I was 3rd from the front by 9am when we were stopped to let the elderly & vulnerable in (I have no issues with this) .
At 9.25 I had to leave the queue empty handed. Over an hour of my day wasted & now I to go back this afternoon to get what I couldn’t get 😫
I’m exhausted & just don’t think I can do it anymore but at the same time I can’t let them go without.

OP posts:
gamerchick · 20/05/2020 12:58

You can't do this shopping for friends any more OP. Its going to break you.

Tell them they need to sort out online shopping orders as you're unable to carry on. Things have calmed down a bit in that area I think and a system in place isnt it? Its time they used it.

SistemaAddict · 20/05/2020 12:58

Your friends are taking the piss. Is there a local mutual aid group who they could ask to help (not for a full shop though)? They need to register as extremely vulnerable and then they will get priority slots. Plus they will get a weekly food box like pp mentioned,
They can't expect you to do this regularly, it's too much.

Hotcuppatea · 20/05/2020 12:59

People who have been told to shield and who register for help on the governments website can access priority online delivery slots. It sounds as though you've reached the limit of how much you can help and they need to start looking at alternatives.

This shielding situation could go on for some time yet.

emmathedilemma · 20/05/2020 12:59

£350 a week! Are you shopping for the Radfords?? ;)

Babyroobs · 20/05/2020 12:59

I wonder whether any of these people who signed up to be NHS volunteers are being utilised. Wasn't shopping etc part of this ? My friend signed up and has never been contacted despite having a lot of free time as she is between jobs and wants to help.

mumwon · 20/05/2020 13:00

does anybody know about Iceland & delivery?

Crimsonnightlotus · 20/05/2020 13:00

My dh always go in the evening. Says it's way quieter and less waiting.

ImInAStateOfMind · 20/05/2020 13:01

If they are on the shielding list then they can get online shopping slots very easily. Why are you doing this?!

CrystalTipped · 20/05/2020 13:01

We shouldn't jump to conclusions and assume the families are taking the piss.

Maybe the OP is telling them it's no problem and they don't see the realities of what a hassle it is.

There's no need for anyone to be going without at this point. Ask them to check all the supermarket sites for slots. Availability varies by area, they may even find they can take their pick.

ReincarnatedDodo · 20/05/2020 13:01

@mumwon Yes they have weekly slots available.

Better quality and longer lasting best before dates than the major supermarket I was using.

okiedokieme · 20/05/2020 13:03

It depends where you are I admit but here the shops are pretty quiet after 4pm. I've been going at 8pm and not queued at all (Sainsburys) plus it's really relaxed as most the people there are those still working and not shielding

FourDecades · 20/05/2020 13:07

I messaged Tesco as l was struggling with my Mum's shopping. She is self isolating due to age.

She phoned the attached number and was put on their priority list. Have had no problems getting slots.

They need a Tesco account first so it can be linked.

Really think they should give this ago and release the pressure off you.

Queuing finally broke me today
cornish009 · 20/05/2020 13:08

The people you are shopping for should be able to get delivery slots if they are shielding. If they can not set it up, perhaps you could set up accounts for them and have it delivered to them?

With the exception of being able to book a delivery for Tescos for 4 weeks in advance, instead of the usual 3 weeks, I have not found much difference with other supermarkets in priority ordering. Yes, all supermarkets have registered us and put us on proirity, but it has not made much of a difference in actual reality. But have always managed in the end to get something.

AvocadosBeforeMortgages · 20/05/2020 13:08

For what it's worth, I usually find that the supermarkets are quieter if you go later in the evening; my local ones all shut at 10pm, but are very quiet from about 7pm onwards.

PinkMonkeyBird · 20/05/2020 13:10

Those saying there are plenty of online slots...not in all areas!! I've been trying to get one to shop for relatives and they are rarer than Boris Johnson appearing as PM.

crustycrab · 20/05/2020 13:16

Really? Are there many areas that have a such a large proportion of shielding people that can't get a delivery slot or amazon delivery?

You can do your Morrison's shop on amazon

vanillandhoney · 20/05/2020 13:22

Have you looked at online shopping?

Slots are pretty much back to normal here - we've managed to get weekly slots with Morrisons for the last six weeks and I have slots booked until mid-June.

BorsetshireBlueBalls · 20/05/2020 13:22

Why can't any of these three families shop online?

Why can't any of these three families plug into the various volunteer services that are helping those households that are shielding?

OP, you have done your bit and must wean these families off your support! If they are not going to be able to leave until there is a vaccine, they need to make arrangements that can be sustained over the next year or more. That's not going to be you, is it? I can understand you stepping in for initial crisis support while they get organised, but that time has passed. I can't imagine packing and heaving £350 worth of groceries in one go! that's madness and you have to stop it.

WeAllHaveWings · 20/05/2020 13:24

If your friends are shielding can they still get food boxes?

Do they have any other options to get food, other friends who can help on a rota system to spread the load, priority delivery slots etc. If you were suddenly not available what would be their plan B? It is time they started using it. They will have a shielding letter with a number to call if they are struggling to get food in and have no other options.

You must not allow them to make you run around after them to your detriment. Help them with basics, don't indulge any large or overly complex shopping lists.

B1rdbra1n · 20/05/2020 13:24

either the Opie likes being a martyr or her so-called friends like being slave drivers🤔
whichever it is it sounds like this is unsustainable AND unnecessary

HeyAllYouCoolCatsAndKittenz · 20/05/2020 13:27

£350 a week shopping per family is excessive how many are in the family and what are they buying to cost that much

PinkMonkeyBird · 20/05/2020 13:28

@SpringBlossomIsBeautiful you have the right to tell these people to start organising something else. You can only do so much. As a NHS Volunteer, I won't over commit as I'm also working full time. You have the choice and they have other options available to them.

LilacTree1 · 20/05/2020 13:28

I don’t understand why you are doing this

There are plenty of other ways they can get shopping

Also, sorry to say it but are you sure they’re in the official shielding group? One “friend” nearly got me to do a massive favour for her but then admitted she wasn’t officially shielding.

Nearlyalmost50 · 20/05/2020 13:28

anybody know about Iceland & delivery?

I use them, they have a limited amount of choice compared with the big supermarkets, but they deliver to the door, have most of what I want, and I get the rest from a local shop once a week with no queue at all. Soooo much nicer and less time consuming than queuing at the big supermarkets, I did it once, never again. However, the choice is really much more limited, as in one brand of most things, it's not exactly Waitrose!

Awbu · 20/05/2020 13:30

Local authorities are offering help accessing shopping can the people you are helping contact them and see what help can be arranged? This is a lot of responsibility for you op