Queuing finally broke me today

[SpringBlossomIsBeautiful]

I’ve continued to work throughout as I’m SE & don’t qualify for any grants etc.
I’m shopping for 3 families who haven’t left their houses for 9 weeks due to shielding. It’s stressful with endless lists, receipts etc as well as extremely time consuming.
Today I got to Tesco at 8.10am as I needed to be at work for 9.30 (5 minutes drive).
I was 3rd from the front by 9am when we were stopped to let the elderly & vulnerable in (I have no issues with this) .
At 9.25 I had to leave the queue empty handed. Over an hour of my day wasted & now I to go back this afternoon to get what I couldn’t get 😫
I’m exhausted & just don’t think I can do it anymore but at the same time I can’t let them go without.

You sound a wonderful friend OP, but it’s causing you unnecessary stress.

I am shielded till the end of June and have access to priority home delivery slots, there is just no need for you to be putting yourself through this.

You can do your Morrison's shop on amazon

Only in some areas - we recently got added and it does make things easier.

I think the Morrsiosn boxes are in more areas - and worth a look.

Are there no lcoal shops delivering - that seems to vary area to area but there is often something out there - if not I'd try to get them to try all the supermarkets on-line and see if the council has any schemes to help vunerable households.

I would be gently pushing back on doing so much and try and get them to see you more as the emergency option as it were.

Sainsburys click and collect let us have as many items as we like. Get them to do it though. Took me two hours to virtual shop. Then you just have to load it into your boot.

This is way too much and I think you’re being taken for granted at this stage. The household with the £350 spend is presumably a larger family, are you sure nobody there can leave the home? Because the advice is not that every person in a household with someone shielding must stay in. I get that plenty of people are being extra cautious and obviously that’s their call but if people choose to go to that extreme then really they need to organise something for themselves.

If I were you I would tell them all that while you were happy to help on a short term basis, it’s now become very difficult for you and that you can’t continue indefinitely. There are other options, they may well have to pay a bit more for some of them but the alternative can’t be free labour from you on a long term basis.

Any chance you can go at a different time? I’ve barely queued at the supermarkets the last few times as I’ve gone at less popular times - weekend lunchtimes, weekend & weekday evenings etc. The times I’ve tried to get there early I’ve found the queue has been v long.

Apologies if you’ve thought of this already!

I’ve been shopping throughout lockdown through no choice but last week I started downloading apps for Tesco/Sainsbury’s/Ocado just to see if any availability and I’ve seen Tesco deliveries available the following day, almost every day, when checking throughout the day. I’ve also managed to book a Sainsbury’s delivery with 2 days notice & could have had click & collect with ASDA & Ocado too & have secured a slot with Iceland. I’d really recommend advising your friends to start checking the apps as it’s likely they’ll get a slot somewhere. I don’t think it’s as bad as it was. If they can’t secure anything you could offer to help as a back up but from my experience, short term (within a day or 2) deliveries are available in some areas.

No queues at Sainsbury’s/Morrison’s.

Your shielding friends really should be trying to get deliveries themselves. Thats a lot for you to do

I know it’s harsh but I think you need to say you can’t shop for them anymore or say you’ll split it with someone else they must know other people who can shop for them or they need to sign up to get the shopping online.Whilst you are doing it for them they’ll carry on regardless of the effect it’s having on you.I think it’s a kind deed you are doing and they are lucky to have a lovely friend but you’ve done your fair share and your health is as important as their’s

*Why can't any of these three families shop online?

Why can't any of these three families plug into the various volunteer services that are helping those households that are shielding?

OP, you have done your bit and must wean these families off your support! If they are not going to be able to leave until there is a vaccine, they need to make arrangements that can be sustained over the next year or more. That's not going to be you, is it? I can understand you stepping in for initial crisis support while they get organised, but that time has passed. I can't imagine packing and heaving £350 worth of groceries in one go! that's madness and you have to stop it.*

This

Stop doing their shopping. They need to take control now as it's going to be a prolonged situation

i don't do queues but am lucky enough to be able to pop out in the day as working full time from home so have found places - tesco express which never seems to have a queue to get in at certain times or Sainsbury's - ditto - only 1 person in fron ot me today to pay at automatic queue. There is no on line order slots available at all and has not been for about 12 weeks now. I don't see why supermarkets cannot just respond to demand or someone cannot set up a website to let us get food but that is how it is.

Every time any of us check any of the supermarkets on line there are no slots at all at any time even weeks ahead for some reason.

we do have within 5 minutes drive of the house have lidl, waitrose, morrisons, Sainsbury's, M&S, Co-op, lots of small ethnic shops (if I can call them that), tesco express. Possibly that is about the most you can get within an area and i have probably missed one out - Nisa or something and a few spars too

@SpringBlossomIsBeautiful Oh Bless you.... Please, please let them find someone ELSE to do their shopping..
It is a thankless task., I have heard of nightmare stories from shoppers who are fed up to there back teeth with doing it for others..
My friend works as a carer, and gets in early ..She said she has a badge or something to show...Could you not have one of these?
Queueing is extremely wearying. {flowers}

OP. You really need to stop doing their shopping, it’s wonderful that you’ve done it for so long but enough is enough.

Are they actually extremely vulnerable with a shielding letter? I’m finding that there seems to now be a fair few people saying they are shielding or ‘self isolating’ whatever that actually really means. When in fact they just don’t want to go out and get things themselves, rather somebody else does it all for them.
Not saying this is what’s happening here at all but just tell them you can’t do it anymore and that there are lot’s of other options for them to use.

@SpringBlossomIsBeautiful During the first 4/5 weeks of lockdown 1 families shopping was coming to around £350 a week - that shows how much I was having to buy (no booze in that either !)

Christ on a Bike...that is outrageous.... £350 a WEEK?? That is just horrendous.

They clearly have no idea what a complete nightmare shopping is, now.
If you continue doing this, you will run yourself into the ground.

You will become stressed, and your immune system could be affected, making YOU vulnerable .

My parents are shielded, after weeks of getting shopping for them they now get priority Tesco delivery slots and a free food box each week. They have to register on the coronavirus government site and tick the box that says they need help with food shopping. Think you need to ring their local council for the food box.

Online delivery. We have been using shopping slot (its £3.99 a month) to be alerted (by email) when there are slots free - and there are often slots available in our area for tesco and iceland.

Are there any voluntary or community groups in the area who could take this burden off you? Have you got any other friends or family who are not shielding who could perhaps do this, even perhaps just for a week to give you a break?

I really sympathize, and can't help thinking that us older non-working people could have a special slot later in the day i.e. when other people are working.

And to the person who said: click & collect slots have become really abundant round here, I could have had any time slot in the next week when I booked one yesterday.
This just isn't the case for most of us. Count yourself very lucky.

Your friends have become reliant on you. They've got time to find slots with the supermarkets (my 70 yr old mum swoops on slots being released at 6am). They can also buy local? I'm in the suburbs and the local facebook page has plenty of fruit & veg shops, butchers, fishmen & bakers offering free delivery on a reasonable order. If they're spending £350 per week they'd met any minimum £25 spend. Even garden centres are doing fresh fruit & veg & eggs drive thru style.

Helping is great but not to the extent you're beyond shattered.

Lots of sympathy, OP - I’ve been buying for three to four households and it’s exhausting. Hope you’re ok.

OP you need to help your friends to help themselves.

There are lots of organisations and groups at the moment who would do this shopping.
My mother is elderley and has had loads of offere of shopping help, from community groups, church groups etc.
Do some investigation, post on Facebook- there is a lot of help out there.

What towns are PPs in that they can't get deliveries, click and collect slots now? Ours were completely sold out at the very beginning but it really has changed here

It’s a misconception that if someone in your household is shielding then everyone needs to: this is the advice on the government.uk website and which is included in the shielding letter:
Living with other people
The rest of your household do not need to start shielding themselves, but they should do what they can to support you in shielding and to carefully follow guidance on staying alert and safe (social distancing).

At home you should:

Minimise the time other people living with you spend in shared spaces such as kitchens, bathrooms and sitting areas, and keep shared spaces well ventilated.
Keep 2 metres (3 steps) away from people you live with and encourage them to sleep in a different bed where possible. If you can, use a separate bathroom from the rest of the household. Use separate towels from the other people in your house, both for drying yourself after bathing or showering and for hand-hygiene purposes.
If you share a toilet and bathroom with others, it’s important that they are cleaned every time after use (for example, wiping surfaces you have come into contact with). Consider drawing up a rota for bathing, with you using the facilities first.
If you share a kitchen with others, avoid using it while they’re present. If you can, take your meals back to your room to eat. If you have one, use a dishwasher to clean and dry used crockery and cutlery. If this is not possible, wash them using your usual washing-up liquid and water and dry them thoroughly. If you are using your own utensils, remember to use a separate tea towel for drying these.
Everyone in your household should regularly wash their hands with soap and water for 20 seconds, avoid touching their face and clean frequently touched surfaces.
Encourage the rest of your family or household to follow the advice as far as they are able. There is no need for them to follow the shielding measures themselves.

crustycrab then you are very lucky.
My large town (with huge superstore Asda, Tesco and Morrisons, as well as a smaller Asda and Tesco express AND lidl/aldi/co-op/spa/M&S food) have no slots for the next three weeks.

Which large town? Whenever the question is asked nobody responds.