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Original poster

Is coronavirus actually a better time to conceive?

42 replies

Lelophants · 13/05/2020 11:39

Just putting a counter balance argument out there! I know most people are (understandably!) putting it off due to reduced hospital appointments, partners can't come to scans, fewer birth choices etc. Then you have the fact you can't get any help with potential further lockdowns, unknown effects on mums and babies and the potential economic terrors to come! Ok so loads of reasons not to!

But how about if you had a dh with a job that has actually (hate to say it) benefited from coronavirus? (Cough finance) and can wfh permanently. The fact you probably won't go back to work now because your own job wouldnt work with social distancing and there's no one for childcare with first dc.

If you're isolating anyway and at home all day with dc1, why not just crack on with dc2? Get it all done. Birth rate will probably be down this year! Thoughts?

I can already see the terrofying replies Blush

OP posts:
Original poster
Lelophants · 13/05/2020 11:40

Btw I'm NOT SAYING I WILL DO THIS!

OP posts:
Emlou07 · 13/05/2020 11:50

I see the pros to what you're saying. But you would also have to attend doctor and hospital apps, putting yourself at risk, at a very crucial time in early pregnancy.

Ajahd · 13/05/2020 11:56

I'm 21 weeks pregnant after trying to conceive for 18 months with our first. I would've done anything to have gotten pregnant earlier so that I don't need to be pregnant during this pandemic.

There's the worry of going into the hospital for every appointment, and because of ongoing issues I have to go in regularly. The worry that despite us previously having great jobs and lots of savings, my business has already closed down and my husband has been furloughed, and we don't know if he'll have a job to go back to. Not knowing when my Dad will get to meet his first grandchild as he lives abroad.

That's my three main worries, not to mention the little things which are slightly inconvenient. I'm so grateful to be pregnant, but I wish I weren't pregnant during a pandemic.

ElectricTonight · 13/05/2020 12:00

I think it all depends on your family. If it seems a good time for you then do it if that's what you wanted to do.

ElectricTonight · 13/05/2020 12:00

Oh and I think the birth rate will be higher.

BirdieFriendReturns · 13/05/2020 12:02

I’m still TTC despite the shriekers on Mumsnet! Some random on a forum won’t stop me.

BeforeIPutOnMyMakeup · 13/05/2020 12:08

All the last recessions loads of those with jobs in finance ended up losing their jobs so don't count on your OH job being ok.

Added to the other things a PP has mentioned it is actually not a good idea to give birth when you can't have a birth partner there at all stages.

Luckystar1 · 13/05/2020 12:09

I’m 20 weeks pregnant with my 3rd. I had 3 miscarriages last year so I am hugely grateful to be pregnant.

I’ve decided to take the positives out of this which (from my view are):

  1. Appointments are on time and waiting rooms are empty. No hordes of people. That’s quite nice!
  1. No school run to stress me out!
  1. No after school activities to rush to every day.
  1. No homework to try and fit in between everything else.
  1. No worrying about going to pregnancy classes/exercises.

All of the above have largely meant that I can relax, rather than run around in a permanent state of stress and anxiety.

Don’t get me wrong, I’m also stressed about catching it, I’m bored from having not been out, the children are a little bored too, and I’m slightly panicking about the economy and the impact on jobs/ money.

But purely from a day to day pregnancy perspective, I’m enjoying the down time!

BirdieFriendReturns · 13/05/2020 12:19

I was called selfish and stood on another post for continuing TTC.

Weird.

TheVanguardSix · 13/05/2020 12:19

I think the birth rate will be way up!
Anyway, it's up to you, OP. Personally, I am worried about schooling. And this is something anyone who is pregnant needs to think about already. Education is going to take a huge beating and Naomi Klein's article about a Tech shock in the Guardian today is pretty disturbing. I think we're coming into a time when it will come down to two choices: 'homeschooling' vs private schooling (if you can afford it) with a threadbare state school system reduced to something nobody will dare touch if they don't have to. There will be an exodus in the teaching sector. It was happening before COVID. This pandemic will just accelerate it.
My point is NOT 'don't have kids'. My point is, be prepared for your role as parent to be greatly expanded. I think the way we live as families is about to change dramatically. Some of it will be better. Some of it will be harder. In any case, longterm stability is the most important thing we can offer our children- with or without a pandemic. Home will, in every way, have to be a sanctuary. Because everything will happen inside of it.

And on that note: I don't think I'd want to be pregnant right now (easy for me to say. I am 48 and clearly not having more kids!). But if it feels right for you and you feel that you and your DH can do this, then go for it. Just keep an eye on long-term stability. We're coming into different times.

TheVanguardSix · 13/05/2020 12:22

Luckystar I imagine it's ironically quite a nice time to be pregnant for those very reasons you've listed! Enjoy your gentle pregnancy (without school runs!). There is a silver lining, always!

Foreverbaffled · 13/05/2020 12:25

I found out I was pregnant just before lockdown. Initially I panicked but this was more due to the worry of the effect of Covid on the foetus (lots of evidence emerging now this isn’t a concern - doesn’t cause birth defects etc) so now I’m feeling much calmer. Working from home, having time to rest and manage my morning sickness has been a godsend. The maternity care in my part of the country is of a very high standard as I’m only missing one usual face to face (16 weeks will now be telephone consultation) and the rest are as usual. This is my second pregnancy though so feel massively more confident that I can manage a lot at home. I’m also a nurse which helps as confident monitoring my own blood pressure/urinalysis etc.

Anyway there are some real positives - or certainly not enough negatives to have made me delay until after a vaccine is available.

Foreverbaffled · 13/05/2020 12:28

@BirdieFriendReturns I was on that thread too! Some of the abuse was shocking. Sorry they said this to you.

My midwife has said there is a drop in pregnancies already... less accidental pregnancies, no fertility treatment etc at the moment, fear of Covid etc. I think the birth rate will be lower but that can only be a good thing come the time we give birth!

PicsInRed · 13/05/2020 12:55

We don't yet know the percentage risk of foetal health effects e.g. deafness as a result of covid infection whilst pregnant. I wouldn't. Not yet anyway.

Connie222 · 13/05/2020 12:57

@Luckystar1I am the same as you, could’ve written your post!

I’m 24 weeks with my 3rd. I appreciate that this would be much harder if it was my first baby though. We’ve been though all the going to scans as a couple stuff so this time I’m not bothered about going alone and Dh wouldn’t be at my section this time anyway because of younger children to look after.

I was so, so sick and before lockdown it was a nightmare getting everyone sorted in mornings, arguments with my eldest about getting to college on time.

I’m actually relaxed now and it’s lovely having everyone together while I’m pregnant.

I was initially worried about hospital appointments as I have to go quite a lot but after the first couple of times I’m far more relaxed. It’s a huge women’s hospital and it’s practically empty.

howdidwegetheremary · 13/05/2020 12:59

I’m just curious how your DHs job in finance actually benefits from COVID? I work in finance and whist my job is safe for the time being I struggle to see the benefit?

MRex · 13/05/2020 13:09

You should do whatever works for you and your DH. You should not rely on opinions from randoms on the internet who don't know your personal circumstances.

Original poster
Lelophants · 13/05/2020 14:17

Really interesting, thanks everyone! My plan is still to give it 6 months to a year, but more as I am lucky enough to already have a dc. I do have a fear or partner not being able to join for labour, that's really upsetting. However there is strong chance I'd need a cs anyway like last time and the idea of going home sooner is actually great. I hated hospital so much.

Interesting with lower birth rate! I think people are scared , not great for the libido haha. Also no nights out, people mixing and having accidental pregnancies. And a lot of people are very worried for their jobs. Very understandable.

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Original poster
Lelophants · 13/05/2020 14:20

@howdidwegetheremary people trading like crazy on stockmarket. I agree you never truly know, but right now his job is doing well.

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zscaler · 13/05/2020 14:41

I fell pregnant just before lockdown and while there are ways in which it has not been ideal, there have been lots of positives to the situation.

I haven’t had to deal with getting up early, getting dressed and commuting while dealing with morning sickness.

I’ve had a lot more time to sleep than would otherwise have been possible.

My workload has eased, meaning I’ve been less stressed.

I haven’t had to make excuses for not drinking (big part of the culture in my workplace)

My husband is also WFH and has had loads of free time to sort house jobs that needed doing.

I think I’ve actually been safer than usual at midwife appointments - I was literally the only person in the health centre apart from the midwife and receptionist, and the midwife had full PPE.

I know I am very privileged to work from home and in an area where the NHS is not overwhelmed with cases, but it has had a lot of advantages for me. It has been really rubbish not seeing family, but I look on the bright side!

Legoandloldolls · 13/05/2020 14:48

I think the birth rate will be up too.

For me I have had pre eclampsia and was in and out of hospital like a yoyo. Doing that with dh able to visit wouldnt be fun.

It's never the perfect time and age is a major factor in ttc.

If I was doing it all again then being done before 40 would be my major concern above everything else just because once you hit 40 it really does get harder to conceive for a lot of people

IcyApril · 13/05/2020 14:57

I don’t think I’d put it off necessarily however for the other side I had my daughter last week. She needs a scan that under NHS guidance should be done within a fortnight. It won’t be done as they aren’t doing them at the moment and I’m being passed from pillar to post. I have no idea what to do. No one will give me an indication of how long the wait will be. I’m trying to find out if I can go private but worry that private clinics might be closed. I would even consider going abroad...only her birth isn’t registered so we wouldn’t be able to get a passport.

Babyroobs · 13/05/2020 15:01

I can see some positives if you are set on having a baby but personally I would be wondering why anyone would be thinking of conceiving when the future is so uncertain ?

otterturk · 13/05/2020 16:27

Why not! I'm due one in October :D

Topseyt · 13/05/2020 16:34

I don't think it would be selfish. If you want to try for a baby then go right ahead.

I am another who thinks the birth rate could rise in a few months time. Not from me I hasten to add, I am almost 54 and have three virtually adult children.

My betting is that both the birth rate and the divorce rate will rise.