Is coronavirus actually a better time to conceive?

[Lelophants]

Just putting a counter balance argument out there! I know most people are (understandably!) putting it off due to reduced hospital appointments, partners can't come to scans, fewer birth choices etc. Then you have the fact you can't get any help with potential further lockdowns, unknown effects on mums and babies and the potential economic terrors to come! Ok so loads of reasons not to!

But how about if you had a dh with a job that has actually (hate to say it) benefited from coronavirus? (Cough finance) and can wfh permanently. The fact you probably won't go back to work now because your own job wouldnt work with social distancing and there's no one for childcare with first dc.

If you're isolating anyway and at home all day with dc1, why not just crack on with dc2? Get it all done. Birth rate will probably be down this year! Thoughts?

I can already see the terrofying replies

[VoyageInTheDark]

We have so far put off ttc DC2 because of coronavirus but how long do we wait? If this thing isn't going away any time soon I don't know if I can wait a year or more at my age

[Sipperskipper]

I got pregnant in December and probably wouldn’t have if I’d have known what was coming.

You are right in that DH working from home has been lovely, but I worry how I will manage with 3 year old DD when baby is here. He is working full hours upstairs so I don’t really see him.

My mum is high risk (and she was the most amazing support last time), I’m not sure how safe the preschool environment will be, and DH will likely be back in the office then. Im worried I won’t have the support I so needed last time, and that I won’t get a break from my (lovely but full on!) DD.

Feel a bit anxious about all of it.

[leasedaudi]

We are TTC Dc2 (unsuccessfully so far). The hospital I'll choose has al antenatal appointments at a clinic outside the hospital. And I'll have a planned csection due to a botched EMCS last time around. We have paid our mortgage off and have 12 months of both salaries in cash savings so figure we are in a good place to TTC. But looks like it's going to happen

[110APiccadilly]

*before lockdown, not below it!

[110APiccadilly]

I got pregnant right below lockdown with my first. I'm WFH and actually busier than I was before, so no nice relaxed time for me! I have a lot of experience with babies (think big extended family and a lot of baby-sitting) so I'm not too worried about losing post-natal support - I know what to do with a baby!

Midwife appointments are over the phone - again I'm not too fussed about that.

There are 3 things that are a problem for me. One is relatively unique to me in that I have a musculoskeletal problem that I'd got under control with exercise before we started TTC and I now can't access the exercise I need, or physio appointments to try and help manage it. Would have been a problem even without the pregnancy, but the pregnancy does make the situation more stressful. So be aware that medical care for non pregnancy issues might not be available.

The other issues I have are: a concern if we're still in this situation when I give birth about not having DH there before/after labour. Really worried about that. The other thing is that I'm finding pregnancy amplifies all the emotional difficulty of lockdown and not being able to see anyone. That could just be me though.

So there are some cons. Only you can decide whether it's worth it. For the avoidance of doubt, even with the issues I've outlined, I'm still very happy about it!

[daisypond]

I think it would be awful.. not just because of the immediate issues around the birth, though I think not being able to have your birth partner there is very minor, but the long term life chances for the child. The world is changing dramatically, and I wouldn’t want to bring a child into it to struggle through life.

[Kokeshi123]

I would not personally plan a baby during this time, buuuuuut:

I am trying to find the paper, but someone did some research on births in Chinese-speaking parts of the world, where birthrates tend to be influenced by the Zodiac sign (for example, the year of the Dragon is believed to be an auspicious time to give birth, while one year-can't remember which one it isis unlucky so birthrates always dip in that year).

Children born in the "unlucky" birth year, actually had better life chances. They had smaller classes at school, and higher chances of getting into a good school or university. Probably less competition for employment as a new graduate as well.

So, if you wanted to be super strategic, you could plan a birth during what will be a low point in the birthrate (believe me, there will be no baby boom next year---the number of babies born in 2021 will go down a lot) in order to give these kinds of advantages to your child later on!

[hayley264]

I'm not pregnant, we put off ttc for a couple of months and this month we DTD (with protection) and because I'm baby obsessed after my mmc, I'm constantly like 'what if'. Honestly, it sounds so juvenile, so far my biggest anxiety has been people's perception of me if I was to get pregnant in these times. I've read a few threads where people were brutally honest about how they believed it to be a selfish thing to do. It's left me completely conflicted.
After my mmc I was constantly told "it'll happen when the time is right" but if it happens in these times I feel like people would do a 180 and have a negative few on it.

It's so hard to make a real judgement call based on the lack of information and the uncertainty of what will even be happening next year. I think it's a completely personal choice & there's no right or wrong answer. Even though it breaks my heart I think we are continuing to pause our TTC journey for the time being but if it happens whilst still using contraception I'm not going to be sorry for it.

[PaulHollywoodsSexGut]

Sending you big love @JNS1

Pregnancy is an anxious enough time without all this shit

[JNS1]

I'm currently 9 weeks pregnant with my 2nd (not planned but we did want another child at some point) and I feel so down at the moment I am constantly bursting in to tears over nothing, my DH had me sobbing all over him for over 45 minutes the other night. I feel so worried about everything.
Although our jobs are safe I feel so overwhelmed trying to work at home and look after my 2yr old daughter while my husband still has to go out to work for 13hrs a day, my job's quite stressful and I feel like I'm failing at parenting and working at the moment. I'm so worried about the future possibly having to labour on my own and if the baby or myself catch the virus while in hospital, I'm so close to my family and miss them all dearly at the minute and the thought of them not being able to meet the baby when it arrives breaks my heart and I know it will my mum too.
I am exhausted and nauseous all of the time and just can't seem to pull myself out of this big dark hole i'm in at the moment. I just hate all of the uncertainty and can't help but think it might have been better if we waited.

[NelliePig]

I've got 18 months maternity leave if your including my furlough and my furlough has been 100 percent pay due to pregnancy.
Has worked out great for me so far, my other half has also been off on 100 percent furlough for the past 7 weeks so we've had loads of time to spend together before the baby comes too..

Always look at the positives I guess :)

[PaulHollywoodsSexGut]

If you’re not pregnant yet even if the arrow hit the target first time I suspect life will have returned to as normal as our post corona world can be by the time your EDD rolls round.

I have a DH in finance too and if he can get to the end of this year we will he trying in 2021 meaning I’ll be 40-41 should we get lucky.

[BirdieFriendReturns]

Keepdistance - stop scaremongering. The NHS isn’t going to run out of painkillers or midwives.

[DianaT1969]

I'm not sure that the risk of Covid-19 while pregnant is known. There are reports today of a 3 day old baby who died after his mum caught it while pregnant. Obviously no details on that yet, so we don't know if there were other factors.
I agree with an early poster. There are people on MN declaring that children have a right to an education and pushing for schools to open in June. But they mean the right to an education taught by someone else and somewhere else. Not their parents and not at home. We could have waved of this virus or mutations for years with regular lockdowns. The role of home and the parent grows stronger with lockdowns. As long as you are aware that you may face major changes on 3rd parties educating your children going forward, and could survive on savings/benefits if your DH did loses his job as the (inevitable?) recession progresses.

[user1471468296]

I'm getting older so would prefer not to wait. I'm genuinely wondering what is statistically riskier - covid or increased maternal age.

There are many concerns but being dependent on deliveries of formula and nappies as per pp above isn't one of them. I used cloth nappies with my other children for a start.

[Keepdistance]

I sould consider thatbif you di give birth at a peak then you may not get any pain relief (they were running out of ventilator meds this time)
Also may not get g&a as the oxygen supply.
Also bear in mind we have lost 100+ hcp already so who.knows how many more in 9+ months time.
You would be very dependent on deliveries of formula nappies etc. And might be concerned about send ping your other kid to preschool or school as you are pregnant andthat is vulnerable.
Fever in pg isnt a good thing. And i wouldnt want to have the weight of a baby on my chest at the end of pg as well as the feeling of a weight on my chest from covid

[mindutopia]

Would you be able to survive on one income with no maternity pay? That would be my main concern. Perhaps your dh is a high earner (and you are married so there is some protection there), but for me, it was important to know I had a healthy maternity pay package banked and ready before I TTC. Obviously, it would also be very different for anyone who isn't married and would leave them in quite a vulnerable position to have no source of income, no savings banked from previous work, and then a partner who could just disappear with no obligation to share assets.

[Topseyt]

I don't think it would be selfish. If you want to try for a baby then go right ahead.

I am another who thinks the birth rate could rise in a few months time. Not from me I hasten to add, I am almost 54 and have three virtually adult children.

My betting is that both the birth rate and the divorce rate will rise.

[otterturk]

Why not! I'm due one in October :D

[Babyroobs]

I can see some positives if you are set on having a baby but personally I would be wondering why anyone would be thinking of conceiving when the future is so uncertain ?

[IcyApril]

I don’t think I’d put it off necessarily however for the other side I had my daughter last week. She needs a scan that under NHS guidance should be done within a fortnight. It won’t be done as they aren’t doing them at the moment and I’m being passed from pillar to post. I have no idea what to do. No one will give me an indication of how long the wait will be. I’m trying to find out if I can go private but worry that private clinics might be closed. I would even consider going abroad...only her birth isn’t registered so we wouldn’t be able to get a passport.

[Legoandloldolls]

I think the birth rate will be up too.

For me I have had pre eclampsia and was in and out of hospital like a yoyo. Doing that with dh able to visit wouldnt be fun.

It's never the perfect time and age is a major factor in ttc.

If I was doing it all again then being done before 40 would be my major concern above everything else just because once you hit 40 it really does get harder to conceive for a lot of people

[zscaler]

I fell pregnant just before lockdown and while there are ways in which it has not been ideal, there have been lots of positives to the situation.

I haven’t had to deal with getting up early, getting dressed and commuting while dealing with morning sickness.

I’ve had a lot more time to sleep than would otherwise have been possible.

My workload has eased, meaning I’ve been less stressed.

I haven’t had to make excuses for not drinking (big part of the culture in my workplace)

My husband is also WFH and has had loads of free time to sort house jobs that needed doing.

I think I’ve actually been safer than usual at midwife appointments - I was literally the only person in the health centre apart from the midwife and receptionist, and the midwife had full PPE.

I know I am very privileged to work from home and in an area where the NHS is not overwhelmed with cases, but it has had a lot of advantages for me. It has been really rubbish not seeing family, but I look on the bright side!

[Lelophants]

@howdidwegetheremary people trading like crazy on stockmarket. I agree you never truly know, but right now his job is doing well.

[Lelophants]

Really interesting, thanks everyone! My plan is still to give it 6 months to a year, but more as I am lucky enough to already have a dc. I do have a fear or partner not being able to join for labour, that's really upsetting. However there is strong chance I'd need a cs anyway like last time and the idea of going home sooner is actually great. I hated hospital so much.

Interesting with lower birth rate! I think people are scared , not great for the libido haha. Also no nights out, people mixing and having accidental pregnancies. And a lot of people are very worried for their jobs. Very understandable.