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10 villains breathing , 9 bbqs smoking, 8 online deliveries

995 replies

PrincessConsueIaBananaHammock · 09/05/2020 19:42

7 friends laughing
6 flaps bleached
5 covid masks
4 cool kids smoking
3 deadly hangovers
2 claps a' missin

And a partridge in a pear tree. Socially distancing of course.

Thread number something? Forgot to keep count.

That's why I have you murderous, despicable , flappy villains.

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CrowCat · 26/05/2020 22:30

Evening all, just a bit of a naff day here. DD has been on a real low and I haven't been much perkier myself!

Had to unblock exh on my phone so we could discuss DDs birthday in a couple of weeks time (he refuses to email) and just dealing with him is draining. He got a few weeks pent up annoyance at me off his chest followed by some type of whinge that I'm not upset he has a new girlfriend 🤷🏻‍♀️🤷🏻‍♀️🤷🏻‍♀️

And he's convinced that Pizza Hut and cinema and bowling will be open by her bday and I've had to plead with him to please not tell DD that as she will be devastated when it just doesn't happen!! They're only just opening retail on 15th of June, we're no where near getting Pizza Hut and cinema open yet!

PrincessConsueIaBananaHammock · 27/05/2020 00:04

Can you keep him blocked on her phone until then Crow ?

Cake for you both. Hope you have a better day tomorrow.

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CrowCat · 27/05/2020 00:27

Thanks princess, he's still blocked on her phone but he's coming to pick her up tomorrow for a couple of hours in the park. I really hope he doesn't start promising her stuff that just won't happen!

GnomeDePlume · 27/05/2020 05:51

Good morning!

DDog decided that 5am is quite enough of a lie in for me. He is now curled up on the sofa enjoying a peaceful nap after a night of intensive guard dog activity (aka lieing on his back on the sofa scaring off local n'er do wells with the volume of his snoring).

CrowCat why are some people just arseholes? Why would or should you be upset by his having a new gf (sad for her may be?).

Anyway have good days everyone. The nearest I will get to killing today will be listening to yet more podcasts about serial killers while I work.

Trevsadick · 27/05/2020 06:55

Good morning All!

The painted rocks started in the summer holidays a few years ago here. There is an fb page. Its been quite nice. Gets kids out, happy walking and looking. I have used pokemon go for the same reasons. Get the kids out having fun, dont notice how far they are walking. Never heard of a hope tree, though.

Am mightily hacked off, there is still no sight of my assistant being allowed to come back from furlough. The work is still there and we will soon to be heading into an even busier period.

That is really crap. Its been weeks, hasn't it?

I am quite lucky in that I have 2 back now. I even took yesterday afternoon off. I visited a colleague. She went on mat leave so went to make a fuss and drop gifts off. Her boyfriend was mortified. But only because he is always late sending me his reports so I knocked on the living room window and shouted I needed his reports. He is always late with them and for a minute he though I had gone round just to hunt him down Grin

Both me and his girlfriend were pissing ourselves at his panicked reaction.

She is due next week so I am going to get some banners and put them on the door when they are at hospital. Their parents are all shielding, so won't be doing stuff like that.

I even offered to break lock down rules and take them to the hospital if they need help
He does drive, but have nominated myself as back up. She is getting stressed worrying about the what ifs and lack of being able to plan back up plans. I told her to fuck lock down and I will help.

Feel so bad for her and how this is impacting her. No need for this shit anymore. Its nice to be feel i can actually help someone.

PrincessConsueIaBananaHammock · 27/05/2020 09:05

Morning all

Gnome that's really shit. Can you push for it?

Willow If they're meeting I guess all you can do is try to manage her expectations as to what will be open / possible for her bday.

Trev that's nice of you. Can't imagine being due in this situation. Did the BF send in his reports tho?Grin

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GnomeDePlume · 27/05/2020 09:39

That is really lovely Trev. Knowing they have a first reserve will take worry away.

I remember when I was expecting DD1 DH didnt drive so we had to ask DPiL. No idea what we would have done if they hadnt been available in the moment. I would have probably had to go in on the back of DH's motorbike.

I have played every card I have to try to get my assistant back but the answer is still 'no' for, reasons. I am worried about him. He is being left swinging in the wind and is being treated in a way which seems cruel. Leaving telling him that, despite what was said earlier, furlough hasnt ended, until the last possible moment. There doesnt seem to be anything else I can do.

On another thread I see that enjoying lockdown is bad taste. Off to find my sackcloth and ashes.

maggienolia · 27/05/2020 09:50

Off to kill another thousand elderly folks and make several hundred nurses cry.
Aka going to get a drive through Costa.
Wish me luck folks.

maggienolia · 27/05/2020 09:52

Forgot to ask- I'm taking orders if anyone wants anything.

Trevsadick · 27/05/2020 09:57

Did the BF send in his reports tho?

He already had. That made it funnier because he still panicked. I had processed his reports myself. Grin

PrincessConsueIaBananaHammock · 27/05/2020 10:26

Sooo DD got invited for a play date. They'd be together next week at school anyways but dunno. I'm really torn.

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CrowCat · 27/05/2020 10:54

Morning all, sunny day here. Need to do some shopping but am not waiting on exh to come see DD which if he hasn't arrived by 1 he'll he shit out of luck. He flat out refuses to give me a time so I've started saying if you're not here for X time then don't bother. You'd think that would spur him along? Haha. No.

Gnome he's a narcissist and a sociopath, and in his mind I'm still 'his' so therefore all his relationships since we split have been with the sole purpose of trying to make me jealous. I'm supposed to wail and gnash my teeth in anguish. Pfft 😂

PrincessConsueIaBananaHammock · 27/05/2020 11:11

he's a narcissist and a sociopath, and in his mind I'm still 'his'

I know the type. My ex was convinced that after 3 years since we broke up, moving countries and being with someone else I was still pining for him and all he had to do was say so and I'd be back with him.Hmm

And he tried to cheat on his wife (that he left me for) with me.

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Willow2017 · 27/05/2020 11:40

Sounds a peach Crow well rid. Hope he doesnt turn up to upset dd.

Just got a phone call from hosp. Bloody bloods still not up enough so have increased my meds. I will never sleep at all now😃😃 Need to get another blood test in a couple of weeks as well. Grrr.

Glorious day and i am working later till stupid o clock.

Princess its a difficult one. Can you suggest meeting in the park or somewhere open and have a picnic together but apart iyswim if that makes you feel more comfortable?

CrowCat · 27/05/2020 12:12

Princess I think the best one yet was when we'd been separated a few months.. I had a night out and ended up back at a friends house and slept with him. News got back to exh who then went ballistic crying and saying he was going to kill himself because I was his and id cheated on him (??). The fact that we'd been separated for months and he was living at the other side of the world AND was in a new relationship seemed to have slipped his mind 😂

CRACKPOT 🤷🏻‍♀️

GCHWho · 27/05/2020 12:35

The hope/spirit tree is a tree that was minding it’s own business and is now bedecked in gaudy unnatural plasticy streamers, burdened with signs, offerings holding wishes and hopes scrawled on/in them, never going to biodegrade tchotchkes -tat- Fancy themselves new aged spiritualists who proclaim they moved to the area due to it’s natural beauty then improved nature with this offering! It doesn’t have the appeal or environmental awareness of biodegradable windswept Tibetan bunting. If it has in the short term helped manage anxiety in stressful times at least it’s served a purpose. Like I say beauty is in the eye of the beholder. Maybe too much Lord of the Rings on catchup, tree guardians etc. Tolkien Tchotchkes < I feel a business plan forming >

Willow2017 · 27/05/2020 13:35

Been lmao at this with ds2. Fecking hilarious.

110APiccadilly · 27/05/2020 15:38

Good afternoon! I am pleased to have had it confirmed that there is in fact a small human inside me. Which makes me sound a bit like a Russian doll.

I also discovered I'm fatter than I thought I was. Hmm Will carry helium balloons to next appointment.

Spirit tree sounds rather bizarre. Like an unseasonal Christmas tree?

CrowCat · 27/05/2020 15:45

Hi Piccadilly!! Awww I'm super pleased you've had your ultrasound! It's so cool when you see that little human for the first time. Mine all looked like aliens but still cool 😊

110APiccadilly · 27/05/2020 16:01

Yeah, DH promises me he's not from outer space so I assume it's human but you're quite right - it looks like a (blurry) alien right now. It waved though which made me much more emotional than I thought it would!

CrowCat · 27/05/2020 16:55

It's a big deal when you see them for the first time. Crazy emotional.

PrincessConsueIaBananaHammock · 27/05/2020 17:20

Aww ickle baby beanie .

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Trevsadick · 28/05/2020 05:33

ah @110APiccadilly congratulations. That's fantastic news! Flowers

110APiccadilly · 28/05/2020 06:14

Thanks everyone!

Its another beautiful day here - if I were a conspiracy theorist, I'd be starting one about the weather at this point. It's basically been sunny for almost all of lockdown so far. And I live in Wales! (On a more serious note, we'll have a drought if this carries on. We had one a couple of years ago - very difficult for farmers as they tend not to be set up for it!)

Willow2017 · 28/05/2020 06:54

Morning all.
Congratulations on your little alien 110APiccadilly.

Off to work soon doing an extra shift today glutton for punishment😄
Lovely day, bit breezy though.
Have a good one everyone.

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