10 villains breathing , 9 bbqs smoking, 8 online deliveries

[PrincessConsueIaBananaHammock]

7 friends laughing
6 flaps bleached
5 covid masks
4 cool kids smoking
3 deadly hangovers
2 claps a' missin

And a partridge in a pear tree. Socially distancing of course.

Thread number something? Forgot to keep count.

That's why I have you murderous, despicable , flappy villains.

Peggy...can we call him Trev?
He sounds a delight! Shall we help you find new and interesting ways to torment him and his clip board? In fact, could you somehow hide his clip board? Or the keys to the sanitation supplies cupboard?

Oh...and make up some really crazy gossip for his benefit. (Trev's)

Peggy he sounds awful. I really struggle with people like that.

Reminds of the busybody that pulled me in for wearing tracksuit bottoms two days in a row. Apparently one day was fine because it was PE day, but two day wasn't as it sets a bad example for the children.

We were all given a traffic light reading for how tidy our desks were.

Is Trev currently working from home? Could you conspire with someone to sow cress in his keyboard? (Childish perhaps but it would amuse me.)

Isnt it funny how concerned these people are about 'impression'.

We get told off by the office busybody for having boxes on top of cupboards. Thankfully we all swear like war memorial drunks so customers are now diverted through a different department (where they are forced to work in silence).

Oh joy Peggysgettingcrazy, you have someone with delusions of grandeur and a terribly important project.

Peggy...can we call him Trev?
He sounds a delight! Shall we help you find new and interesting ways to torment him and his clip board? In fact, could you somehow hide his clip board? Or the keys to the sanitation supplies cupboard?

Yes...he is now Trev!

Unfortunately we are all WFH now. Which devastated him slightly as he can't be seen with said clip board.

He does, however, make he jumps every SLT call with some ridiculous comment. Just so we know he is there and know he is watching.

I still haven't replied to his email.

Our employer can now arrange test for any employees. On a call I asked them to confirm the criteria. Trevor thinks this must mean I, or someone in my family have had it. Rather than I just want the criteria clarifying.

I have told him 'but you know I was ill in late Feb and my doctor thinks it might have been covid. H&S were made aware because I was in the office the day I fell ill! Ever so worried I spread it!'

Which is true and now he is in a panic in case he missed a real life case of it.

I might go up the office tomorrow. I might get in the car after, call him, tell him I am sat at his desk, then start uncoughing (persistently) down the phone.

It will at least keep him busy.

I need ways of messing with home, remotely.

I did make some changes to reporting and didn't tell him, with a department he considers to be 'his'. That bothered him. But reporting or that department have nothing to do with him.

The above is all I have managed to come with

Ask him if masks should be worn for all conference calls in case of virus transmission via 5G

Ask him if he could post a daily hygiene wipe to all WFH staff so that office equipment currently at home can be kept clean at all times

Ask him to prepare a health check list for all WFH staff, daily reports on everything from dream recording to bowel movements. This can then be plotted to ensure that staff WFH are keeping in tip top physical condition

Peggy
Oh lord he sounds dire. Whey do these people get off on thier ego trips? It solves nothing they are just running around like headless chickens doing nothing productive themselves. Why do bosses allow it?
Had one at one job. Laziest person going yet made such a song and dance about how much they did , pulling others up etc. Must be exhausting!

Doing sod all as yet. Washing to put out now. Work later in different dept not looking forward to it i am not a navvy and will not be doing heavy lifting... i did fill in the form when i started to speak to HR about health issues and am still waiting. Also still waiting for my 'staff till number' and a locker!. Sod em they couldnt organise etc...

@GnomeDePlume some good ideas there. I may have to take a while and slowly fake interest to get into his 'inner circle' (he actually said that once) and then slowly get him to make more and more requests.

Will tell him, I need to compile reports on it!

And he bloody loves distributing the wipes and hand sanitiser. In his email last night he let me know how many boxes were delivered that day 😁

@Willow2017 its all office politics! We have 2 owners. Owner 1 started the company and has majority share, owner 2 is the MD. MD is my boss. Theres constant power struggles between the 2. MD is bringing lots of people he has worked with in the past that he knows will back him.

They are all a bit crap, but loyal to him as he gave them wages far above what they would get elsewhere.

He also employed me and was very disappointed when I said that I don't do sides. That my answer will always be based in whats best for the business, using the data we have.

So I am not in either owners 'inner circle'. However, owner 1 likes how impartial I am and generally leaves me alone so I can remain impartial. MD only contacts me to tell me something is wrong. Its usually not, he just doesn't understand what I have sent him.

Its like a mini game of thrones

sorry forgot my point. These loyal subjects are employed for loyalty. Not the job they do. So he kets them do what he wants.

I suspect there's going to be coup at some point. Its all very exciting.

Its not really. The owners squabble like children, which drags meeting out. I switch off, alot.

Its like a mini game of thrones
You need to order a dragon egg from Amazon!

Must be so tedious, adults acting like kids in a 'gang' when they are suppposed to be at work. Go mess with his tiny mind!

I have worked in chaotic places before. I used to work in call centres. Some are so high on the drama.

But this place is ridiculous. Men in their 50s as well.

I do need a dragon...though it didn't end well for Dany!

Messing with their minds is fun. My favourite way is to just say not with no explanation. They ask me for something, I just say no. Offer no explanation then walk away leaving them baffled 🤣

Peggy get the dragon first, worry about going on a murderous rampage after .

Afternoon all! Boo to Trev's and all other men-children in the workplace. Just catching up on the thread after a busy day mucking out the entire house. Many black bags for the dustbin men next week. Feels good bottoming the place.

Dipped a tentative toe into some other threads. Avoiding anything covid related because I just can't be bothered anymore, no one will ever agree on what's 'right' and my anxiety can't deal with entering into any more debates. I'm at a 'you do you, I'll do me' point.

Like a mini game of thrones .
Sounds like Trev could do with a good humping from behind.

They ask me for something, I just say no. Offer no explanation then walk away leaving them baffled 🤣

It's always funny when you say no and people stutter in disbelief.

Or when they ask if you mind doing x and you actually say yes.

Peggy, how about you find pretexts to call Trev a LOT? .....
Then go into excruciatingly dull minutia about everything. Really over the top boring mindless waffle with lots of pointless detail. Even better if he asks how you are...lots of scope to go on and on and on there!

How are you all today fellow Bananians? Have you reveled in your new freedom to linger in public places?

I've brought curry and booze at two different shops - very essential.

I also did some worthy volunteer stuff to counterbalance my heinous murdering spree.

@PrincessConsueIaBananaHammock I have real issue with some one saying 'can you do.....' or 'would you mind just.....'

When they actually mean 'you need to xyz'

Why sound like you are giving me an option, if you arent? If you need a report, say you need a report. Job done!

Pinkginhelps thats an amazing idea! I might start calling him everytime I sneeze or cough (I am a smoker), ask his advice they tangent off into the detail about my life......might even tell him all the fortnite details ds tells me!

@GnomeDePlume its amazing how people believe we have nothing without work, you have my sympathy. Hope you enjoy your days off!

Oh dear god 2 years? What the hell are people smoking?
Wrote a post then thought nah cba engaging with stupid any more.
Especially loved how "everyone" is enjoying such a relaxed pace of life and people who dont enjoy it are obviously liars as nobody could possibly want thier real life back! You couldnt make it up.

I'm staying away from the kids returning threads. Gets my blood boiling from both sides. 🙈

Peggy you could either drawn him in busy work ...risk assessment type things or play to his paranoid side. Because someone that enamoured with their clipboard and role will be terrified of losing it.

You could ask him how often he bleaches his clipboard and pen?
He cant be too careful you know. That pesky virus is just waiting to pounce. 😉