Is it just me, or is this working from home with children completely unsustainable?

[Lovemyphone]

I'm terrified that the schools will remain closed until September.

I'm wfh with two dc. Youngest is 4, as the weeks go by it's becoming more and more unbearable and I can't do it much longer. I'm on my own because dh is still out at work. My employer have been pretty good and taken a 'just do what you can when you can' approach. But the work is picking up again, at the same time the dc are climbing the walls now.

I can't even make a phone call or do an online meeting without constant "mummyyy", or one of them hurting themselves, or asking for snacks, or trashing the house.

Surely it's neglect to essentially leave your children unsupervised for 7-8 hours a day? Which is essentially what you're expected to do.

Is anyone else in this position and just cannot possibly see how this can go on?

Totally unsustainable especially with young dc. Ds5 has been pretty much screen babysat whilst I'm working luckily I'm hoping I'll be able to have help from GP soon even if its just the odd few hours a week . Theres zero home schooling going on when I'm working which fills me with huge guilt but I physically can't do both at the same time.

Can’t you use a playpen for little ones? Surely you could for short periods. Put some toys in, put on a story or nursery rhymes and leave them to it for a bit. It won’t do them any harm,

I can only conclude that you've either never met a child or are insane

YANBU, small children are a full time job. Parents can't work for very many hours without childcare.

It’s ridiculous. We’re both working full time and have a 15 month old. It’s just impossible.

I can only conclude that you've either never met a child or are insane

In fairness we have a playpen for DS who is 15 months. He’s pretty happy to potter about in it for about 30 minutes/an hour.

I can only conclude that you've either never met a child or are insane

😆

To be fair you do get the occasional baby that will sit happily for a while in a playpen etc but it’s a bit like a lottery win.

Lol at babies occupying themselves in a playpen.

My toddler will happily potter about while I do inane housework but takes an immediate aversion to me sitting at my laptop...

I hate my work for this. I have three young children and my work HAVEN’T discussed this AT ALL. The expectation is we are lucky to have a job.

I am utterly demented. I am so angry with our management for not even discussing it.

Completely agree and I'm glad more people think like me, I was astounded at the closing of the schools how many people just seemed to shrug their shoulders and think it was ok !!

Can’t you use a playpen for little ones? Surely you could for short periods. Put some toys in, put on a story or nursery rhymes and leave them to it for a bit.
How do you occupy them for the other 23 hours, 59 minutes and 45 seconds of the day?

The situation is utterly unsustainable. I am parent, teacher, employee and carer of elderly all at the same time. Can't be done properly all at the same time. Luckily I have a helpful employer but not everyone does

How do you occupy them for the other 23 hours, 59 minutes and 45 seconds of the day?

Wow, your children don’t sleep at all? How bizarre...

I'm WFH with a 4 year old too - I'm finding mornings are ok then we ll go to the park at lunchtime for an hour but by the afternoon it's a battle field and I don't get much done. I admit I haven't worked till 530pm for a while as generally given up by then!

I had to give notice to our childminder as she was demanding full fees whilst closed and I had to accept a 40% "temporary" pay cut so even if schools go back I'm unlikely to have childcare until school starts in September. My work are fairly realistic about things at the moment - but I do worry how long this will continue as even if the office reopens I'm going to have to WFH until September! - I work in a very male dominated industry (I'm the only woman out of 20 men) so am in a vulnerable position if they make redundancies

People used to leave babies all day in a pram at the end of the garden until they were 2 @Sexnotgender.

I’m not advocating that, but 30 minutes in a playpen here and there won’t do anyone any harm.

Kids do not need to be entertained all the time. Putting them in a safe place and allowing them to learn to play on their own is as good for them as it is for you.

I’m not advocating that, but 30 minutes in a playpen here and there won’t do anyone any harm

It also won’t do much to help someone who needs to put in an 8 hour working day.

30 minutes in a playpen here and there won’t do anyone any harm

It also won't let me get my job done. And there's only so much loud screaming in the background I can manage while on a conference call...

I can guarantee you there is not a parent here who hasn't tried every single form of distraction and doesn't cycle through them all on any given day. This is an impossible situation. It can't be fixed with parenting tips.

They might sit in a playpen for 30 minutes, but not 7-8 hours, which is the working day.

Lots of sympathy, OP - I feel relatively lucky because DH's work is quieter than mine so although we both work full time we've been splitting the work day about 70/30 in my favour, but it's still really tough - my work is busier than ever so I'd normally be working longer hours than normal not shorter, and I'm acutely aware that the rest of my team (no one else with young children) are, and are picking up my slack a bit. I'm absolutely knackered so asked if I could have Monday as annual leave so I got a four day weekend - my boss agreed, but then at 4pm today I got something from someone more senior than her to be done by 12pm Monday, so I guess that full four days off isn't happening!

DS (22 months) is actually pretty good for his age at entertaining himself when I do things under normal circumstances - he'll do it while I cook, clean, garden, that kind of thing. However, if I try and sit with the laptop it's about two minutes before he wants my attention and is pretty insistent about getting it. I don't think that's unusual, is it? He's always been more tolerant of me doing active things - I guess things he can watch - than if I'm doing something where I'm sat still and concentrating.

He also would have gone mad if I'd put him in the confined space of a playpen from when he could crawl - I thought they were for babies, not toddlers? Surely not many toddlers would tolerate being stuck in one place like that?

How on earth can you leave a two year old in a pram? Unless they’re strapped in. My son would just jump out and he’s 13 months.

It’s not sustainable, can you maybe take a days holiday a week? I can’t see people going on summer holidays this year so maybe take holidays bit by bit which would at least give some respite. I’ve been taking a day a week for 6 weeks for my own mental health. Alternatively maybe ask work if you can work part time for a month or two. They may be ok with that. It’s hard to spend at the moment with this going on so a cut in income may be doable. Very tough on parents of young children though

Also, as PP said, the days don't stop. I'm getting early to get some work done, then working in the evening, also at Weekends just constantly trying to play catch up. I've begun to think I may just resign, or take unpaid leave and Claim UC. I had to compete to this job, but I can't do this much longer, breakdown looming. It's constant guilt. A lot of my colleagues have older children or no children, and they are more productive just now, I feel so left behind at work, and feel my children are left behind at school.

Agree op, it's completely unsustainable and I'm lucky enough to be pt, with a supportive husband and work. I know there is no easy answer wrt schools
/childcare especially as the evidence is still out on how children might contribute to spreading but everytime a worried parent starts a school thread it seems to descend into a) you'll have to give up your job (and why aren't you at sahm anyway) or b) get a nanny (ha!) or c) how dare you wish schools go back you murderer. This thread hasn't been too bad so far so let's hope it stays that way.

I'm furious about it. I think government just went 'oh well, women will do it' like with most things.

I don’t even think it will occur to them.

Yes!! It's just not on the radar it feels like. Saw someone on Twitter the other day being puzzled that parents weren't throwing themselves into homeschooling because "obviously parents won't be working now." And even my own sister was absolutely stunned/horrified last week when she found out that me and DH were still doing most of our normal hours and juggling the children between us, "oh you CAN'T be working like normal with the kids there!" Well you know they're at home with us and you know we're still working so what did you think was happening?