Is it just me, or is this working from home with children completely unsustainable?

[Lovemyphone]

I'm terrified that the schools will remain closed until September.

I'm wfh with two dc. Youngest is 4, as the weeks go by it's becoming more and more unbearable and I can't do it much longer. I'm on my own because dh is still out at work. My employer have been pretty good and taken a 'just do what you can when you can' approach. But the work is picking up again, at the same time the dc are climbing the walls now.

I can't even make a phone call or do an online meeting without constant "mummyyy", or one of them hurting themselves, or asking for snacks, or trashing the house.

Surely it's neglect to essentially leave your children unsupervised for 7-8 hours a day? Which is essentially what you're expected to do.

Is anyone else in this position and just cannot possibly see how this can go on?

@Cremebrule you would think that people with older kids would remember what it was like, but then again this is a very unusual situation.

Nobody imagined the lockdown would last this long, so employers were a bit more understanding at first, but now just expect the usual pace.. Then there is the reality of furloughed staff which means more work for those left in many cases.

The scary thing is that there is no real solution for many of us.. We don't even have grandparents we could move in with and one of us.

Leaving our jobs now would be financial suicide with redundancies being rife in our sector at the best of times and no guarantees for either of us.

We have often found ourselves at risk with one made redundant and the other at risk, so in this current climate we are already worrying we might both be out of a job at the same time.

Foxtrot has your nursery messaged you with the measures they are taking?

Mine did last night - several pages long, reads like a dystopian future where you queue to hand over your baby at a door, they are whisked inside and segregated into tiny bubbles, most toys and equipment removed.

I’m crushed really. I can’t send him to it. Will continue to run myself ragged juggling WFH and childcare until I reach breakdown.

@FoxtrotSkarloey I feel the same. My nursery aren’t taking back the babies yet. They’re only taking preschoolers so I have found a local childminder. I think that will be better from a social distancing POV. Childminder will only have one or two children in and is happy if I want to return DS to nursery in the long term.

I haven’t had guidance from mine yet but will be really torn if things like cuddly toys have to be removed from the baby room. My older one would be fine and she’d be happy to have other children to play with even if the other aspects were different. I don’t want to send the baby into a cold setting.

I think to begin with I could see their point @sushigo because the list of key workers was so extensive schools were worried about having at least half the class in. The passage of time has shown this isn't the case and i know that on a Friday there are only two children in the DC's school now.

That said they aren't teaching the material on the online platform so those sending their children still have to find time for a few hours of home school after working all day. I know my DCs would be too tired to start home schooling at 5pm or so.

@7worfs that does sound so sad. My DCs were so well cared for at their nursery. I hate to think of it being like that for babies now.

Also sick of people judging those who need schools or childcare of some sort to open so they can work. Lots of key workers are busier than ever, with increased demand/covering colleagues who are off

We’ll be sending DD1 back to school as soon as they have confirmed how it will work, and DD2 is going back to the CM from the start of June

Agreed youngster but ime it tends to be people with SAHP who have lost their empathy down the back of the sofa

Sorry in a grumpy mood that is unwarranted

This thread has made me feel less alone. I'm really struggling with 3 DC - youngest has just turned 4 - and a FT job WFH. DP and I try to share the load but we're in a similar situation to @Cremebrule in feeling we have to prioritise his job because he earns more than I do and his job consists of Zoom meetings from 8:30am to 5:30pm daily. Mine is more flexible but I am falling so far behind it's making me panic.

I feel like it's hard to really convey to people not in this situation just how horrific, exhausting, untenable and frustrating it is. My poor DC are feeling lonely and isolated, their usually good behaviour has taken a turn for the worse, DP and I are feeling frazzled and guilty. Literally cannot wait for some respite, though God knows when that will be.

Hello my people. DP and I both central government and technically 'essential' workers but can WFH (me as long as it lasts, him more temporarily).

DC2 (3) will go back to nursery on the 1st of June whatever happens. We're lucky in that it's workplace and has been open throughout and they've taken a very proportional approach to it. We now suspect that DP will still be WFH each day though so it will involve one of us travelling (15 mins on the train) which is the cardinal C19 sin apparently. It's a bit tough though, there's no alternative affordable childcare and I don't feel it would be fair to start her somewhere else and then pull her out again anyway.
Other DC is year 1 so have everything crossed school will open. Both kids need to go back SO much, they're basically just watching TV all day. DC1 has suspected ASD and needs the structure. I feel very judged though.

I've found it really hard- I'm backstopping my boss who has reduced hours significantly, doing work I don't particularly want to do. While top line everyone says the right things I feel like tensions are rising over who is available, and decisions need to be made fast, which I can't do as we are unsuccessfully trying to split the day in 2. My concentration is shot.

I feel like early allowances are running out and back to 'new normal' which means delivering at the same pace as before.

Urghhhhh. Sunday night feeling here. Dreading five days of the home school / childcare / wfh combination.

Had such a nice weekend spending time with the DCs. Don't want it to end.

Same :(

I booked off May half term at the start of the year so I have a glimmer of respite ahead - but still trying to get a jump on the week at past midnight on Sunday. Good luck all! May your children be chilled and your workloads be lighter than usual, and May your teachers set no schoolwork including the fateful words ‘ask your grown up to help you make a....’

Ugh. Monday already and I can’t sleep for the fear.

I am spending more to time with the kids this week and my job can go to hell. (That will last an hour and I have to ignore my kids again)

Stay strong my friends

Jassy hah made me smile agreed good luck all

DD2 decided last night was a perfect opportunity to wake up multiple times so feeling bleurgh

I also have half term off - counting down

The big bosses in my company have produced league tables of individual performances and wanting to know why some are doing more/better than others? Why do they fucking think?? They are assuming people are being lazy (some maybe) but theres many of us struggling to sit at a laptop for 8/9hours a day, keep the children alive fed and watered, trying to do some school work with them too so we aren't terrible parents failing our children's education. We can not give 100% of ourselves to everything it's just not possible. Feel like telling them to shove their job up their arse to be honest!

@JassyRadlett I'll see 'ask your grown up to help' and raise you 'family challenge time'.

The family challenge here is do the school work without getting sacked yourself. That is quite challenging enough thank you.

@RaggieDolls OMG. Why.

@Concerned7777 That’s so awful! How utterly shit and demotivating even in normal times, but now? Mind boggling.

I know none of us really have time for reading the paper, but I read this article by Suzanne Moore a few weeks ago and it really struck a chord. The last paragraph sums it up:

"There is no break, there is no off-switch, there is no childcare. Instead, we are meant to do it all – all the time. If this is the future, no wonder so many women I know can’t wait to get back to work – just so that they might actually have a moment to themselves."

https://www.google.co.uk/amp/s/amp.theguardian.com/commentisfree/2020/may/04/coronavirus-is-giving-us-a-glimpse-of-the-future-of-work-and-its-a-nightmare

@JassyRadlett.... lifted from DS's seesaw account this morning:

'An action packed board game the whole family can play'.

We also have: “Here are some fun challenges for the whole family”

How has everyone’s day gone?

I started so well. Did joe wicks. Everyone up. DH got them outside at lunch.

Then just rapidly downhill as I tried to get them to catch up ok schools work. Frayed tempers. Eldest tried To run away again.

I am going to use up some annual leave

Mine was a good day today, so I am feeling happier. Also helped by the fact I have half term off.. The first week I had off since Christmas!

I did have a shit weekend, loads of tantrums and bad behaviour and on Saturday I was so exhausted I though I was actually ill. Felt a bit better Sunday but spent it all doing housework.. Nobody does any around here.