What should an extrovert do

[Extrovertsanonymous]

I’ve read a few threads on here recently about people feeling bombarded by contact from friends. These friends that are trying to maintain friendships during this time and reach out when feeling lonely seem to be branded selfish. I am left feeling really confused. When did it become selfish to want to talk to your friends during hard times? Introverts would you really rather your friends didn’t contact you until the day we are released? With no idea when this ends... do you not miss your friends? I’ve been trying to understand the introvert better but people are very judgmental on here. I am new to mumsnet and wonder if people are usually so rude and dismissive or is this a lockdown change? Really questioning humanity right now. I just want to feel connected to friends but this feels like the biggest crime!

Like some others, not a lot has changed for me in lockdown, I WFH anyway, the main difference is not having the house to myself and not being able to run with friends.

I have probably had more contact with friends since this started because people are at home they have more time and it's easier to factor in time zones etc.

What I don't like is work quizzes and the like, it's hard to find an excuse not to "attend". I really would probably have to fall back on the "washing my hair" excuse!

I really am getting the impression that people love moaning unnecessarily at the moment and are being very dramatic if something is a minor inconvenience totally agree with this. People are stressed for whatever reason, not liking having to stay at home, being vulnerable, trying work and look after the kids/get them to do schoolwork so all the small things blow up and feel really irritating.

Randomness

Maybe go for a walk? It's important to have space to chat to people outside of the home and be yourself

Also I'm getting more and more confused as to why introverts bother with friends at all? What do they bring to your life aside from draining you?

Do you normally do the organising OP or is it shared? Some people never do anything unless someone else organises it for them! I don’t think what you’re suggesting sounds unreasonable though in that case but it is annoying always being the one to organise I agree.

(Not so sure your last comment is exactly ‘sympathetic insight’ tho!)

Normally it's shared and people are more excited by the aspect. I feel now I'm the one getting excited and everyone else takes an hour to warm up and then they don't want to leave! But feels quite self centred not to give more initially at the moment as I feel if i am not organising will it all just not happen... entering a bit of an experiment now to see.

Colonelnobbynobs which bit are you referring to re unsympathetic? It's hard to get tone right on here I think. Apologies

When I go for a walk I have the dog with me 😂 otherwise yes I would/could.

I see my friends every 6-8 weeks and obviously my colleagues that are friendly we are "chatting" on line at work.

Extroverts- I cant go for a walk as I’m still recovering from the virus.

I guess I do care what my neighbours think, and don’t want them to know every private detail about my life. And I have a very small garden so it’s no really a private space from my house anyway.

Well it’s not as exciting is it? I’d be more excited by a trip to the pub or someone’s house than a video call...

Apologies if I misread your tone - just the question about why introverts bother with friends. I have loads of friends and love them but i also need lots of down/alone time that’s all b

Randomness- I am confused about why the dog randomness. I'm confused why you can't be yourself on the phone with dog?

I am genuinely intrigued and I haven't heard any introverts say anything positive about friends and hear how hard they find talking. It's making me a bit paranoid as to how to approach things with them without being a burden if that's the way it can feel.

Also I know it's not as exciting but I go for fake it till you make it and it tends to really work and become contagious for others. People seem to find a great release once they've done it but don't put that initial thought and effort in and I wonder if they realise

I’m an introvert but i have lots of friends. I prefer to WhatsApp my friends individually rather than on group chats. And before the lockdown I used to enjoy seeing friends most weekends in a group, and also friends individually for coffee etc.

Because when you are out walking the dog you need to focus on what the dog is doing, ensuring she isn't rolling in something, ensuring she isn't eating anything, avoiding other people, looking out for other dogs being walked so I can ensure she doesn't kick off at them, picking up dog poo.

Then when she goes off lead it's the same as the above only she is further away and more likely to get in trouble!

I contact my friends on messenger/WhatsApp etc and really happy doing that because it's when I'm in the mood/ready for it or have something to say or ask.

DH is very introverted, he usually WFH so on the plus side he is getting less attention from the furries but he has us 4 in his space! Only thing he is missing is playing football 🤷🏽‍♀️

We are both making the effort to engage with our DC that are extrovert and sociable because we recognise they need it. Just as sometimes I won't join in with the board games because I just need to withdraw into myself and "be".

I’m a fairly sociable introvert, if that’s a thing? I love meeting friends for coffees and walks and have lots of friends, but am better 1:1 and also need my own space. I’m juggling quite a lot just now. I love getting texts, WhatsApp messages, emails etc from friends (which I can reply to in my own time) - especially 1:1 (but also in small groups), both newsy / to catch up and quick hellos. I keep in contact with my friends in similar ways.
I don’t want to do Zoom quizzes, I don’t want phonecalls at times which aren’t pre-arranged (I’m flat out with kids all day, and by the time they’re in bed I often don’t want to talk). I make “duty” phonecalls to family members daily (not that I don’t love them, but I think they need the phone contact more than I do), and that seems to use up my energy for this.
I have limited energy for “I’m finding this hard” type contact from people who are more bored than genuinely struggling, although I am making the time and space for the people who are having real difficulties.

Wait till you have no friends or family that contact you, I haven’t spoken to another adult in weeks. I wish I had people contacting me to see how I am.

@LeveretWalks you sound very similar to me!

Compared to my husband I am very sociable but ultimately I am an introvert and get "peopled out".

@PumpkinP that's sad I do contact others and the only friend I've video called lives on her own so I appreciate she is missing human interaction especially over the school
Holidays when she was no longer teaching her music pupils.