Could anyone else do this forever now?

[Gatorgator]

I don’t particularly like it but I wasn’t halpy before either so now it’s just like a different version of unhappy and in some ways it’s a lot less demanding.
I’ve given up trying to home school either dc. I’ve given up going out at all. It’s much much much easier to stay home, not get dressed, watch tv, read some books, wait to go back to bed.
I could do this for a really really really long time. There’s no joy but god it’s easier than real life.

If your life wasn’t enjoyable beforehand then I can see why this “holiday from reality” might be a positive thing.

My life was brilliant and I want to go back to it as soon as possible. I didn’t expect to be sloping around indoors with little reason to get out of my pyjamas when I’m 90, let alone in my thirties!

You sound like you're in a bad place gatorgator. Do you have people you can talk to in real life or who can help you?

I’ve found it’s not that different to my normal previous life. I just don’t go to the shop every day. The difference is the awful news every day and the worry of catching the virus/not knowing if we’ve already had it. I’d still like to go back to normal. And I would love my children to get back to school/uni!

And if things weren’t great previously, can you use the time to build up some things which might make it better in the future? Do some online training? Learn a new skill? Self-counselling? Getting back in touch with friends and family?

I had a lot of friends but I’ve barely heard from any of them over the last few weeks and I’m not bothered about seeing them again particularly.
My children require quite a lot of input so it’s difficult to get a stretch of time to try and do anything like a course etc.
I missed my parents to begin with but now I’m use to it. It’s like no one else exists.

All the things I did with my children and their hobbies and stuff no longer seem to matter. I could happily never go out or see anyone again.

Ooh no, I really miss mine and my toddlers "before" life. He loved nursery, playgroups and going for days out with his grandparents. All that's stopped. I miss my friends and having a wine night in with my mum. Loads of little things.
That's just me though it's different for everyone. Are you okay? You sound a bit down? I know how it feels like the days are just melting into one another. I can't wait for things to start going back to normal but know that's going to be a while off

Don't worry about online courses etc. I know you don't feel like it but it might be worth trying to make contact with someone you trust to talk about this. If I were your friend I'd be a bit worried about you.

I think it's partly a coping strategy. I feel like this. I know it will all change at some point, but I don't really want it to. The release of the mental load surrounding school and various other activities has been incredible. I don't have any strong friendships as we've recently moved and my family live far away. I was already used to being on my own. It's nice to know my children are safe in the house with me, but obviously, that's not great long term in terms of their development.

Do you think you might be depressed? I think I'm prone to it.

I suppose life is just much much easier now, I know we are lucky because financially we are ok and I know not everyone has a much easier life now for all sorts of reasons.
I just find not having to make any decisions or worry about going out or risk offending people by declining offers of doing something (because no one can do anything or go anywhere) not having to get dressed, not having to spend loads of money places, not having to get the dc up and out - it’s all just so much easier.
I feel like no one else exists anymore, I speak to people on the phone if they call me but I don’t think of them apart from then and once they are gone they don’t exist again for me.

God no. Today I’m going to struggle to do it until bedtime.

Elements of it, maybe. There are some things I miss too much (seeing friends IRL, swimming, being able to just go and sit in a pub on my own for some breathing space!) but other elements I am totally happy about.

My mood suffers at times, but my anxiety is almost non existent compared to before. I’m autistic with ADHD and had been at breakdown point several times over the last year or so. Cutting out several elements of life that put me under pressure and wore me out has helped unimaginably, we are spending more time as a family.

In some ways I’m dreading life going back to normal as I’m worried I’ll struggle going back to rushing around and I hope we can maintain some elements of a slower, calmer life.

I couldn’t do it forever overall though. I’ll obviously abide the rules as long as we have to but some parts I would suffer for while others I’ll be fine with for a long time!

I mean it’s only been a few weeks but is scary really how this is now normal. The first week or so I was upset but now I just feel numb. The idea of going back to normal makes me feel panicked. I can’t even make myself go to pharmacy to collect a repeat prescription and it’s not because I’m worried about getting the virus, it’s because it feels weird to go outside the house and to be honest it feels a mammoth task. At some point I will need to go though. I’ve been putting it off for over a week.

I probably could - I miss all the things we take for granted like just popping out to the shop whenever I fancy but I am enjoying the slower pace of life. We are both wfh with 2 young kids (one needing to be home schooled) and it's difficult but without the rush of having to all be out for 7.30am and generally not being home til after 6pm we do feel much more relaxed. I hope that employers see this as an opportunity to review how the workforce operates (where possible) and maybe we will reach a better understanding of what a work/life balance should look like!

I suppose life is just much much easier now

How? DH has lost loads of clients, he’s had to furlough a load of staff, and is likely to have to make some redundancies; we are both trying to work from home with inadequate Wi-fi, whilst trying to homeschool the dc - who also need our tiny bandwidth.

Everyone needs feeding, but I can’t get Grocery shopping delivered.

The things I do to unwind (swimming, long bike rides or mountain walking, seeing my friends) have largely been taken away from me.

DD(8) is desperately missing her friends and bored out of her tree. She burns off her school work in < 2 hours a day. DS(11) barely leaves his room.

I can’t see my mum, widowed, asthmatic, late 70s and 250 miles away.

Neither child can do their sports, and the charms of Disney+ are wearing thin.

There is nothing easy about this lifestyle.

Not a chance, this will never be my normal. I need my friends and restaurants!

I’m retired and missing my art classes, theatre and museum visits. Above all I am missing my grand children. I’m also metamorphosing into a housewife , planning meals, cleaning cupboards, trying out new recipes. One bonus is I talk to my friends more, I think my old life was a bit too busy but lockdown (and we don’t go out at all) is definitely not for me.

I autistic and am actually really enjoying it. Every single bit of pressure has been removed from my day. Organising D.C. for school for example, something which lots of people do really easily I find an absolute challenge. It's stressful making sure everything is ready etc. I have a system in place to be organised but with schools closed I have come to realise how much that took out of me! Not having to face a single person is actually great for me. I'm happy at home. I have DH and DC's here so I'm not alone but there is no pressure to 'perform' for them iykwim, I'm relaxed, at home. The same with work. I come into contact with so many people every day to work and I have to make conversation with them. Only for 10/20 mins at a time but I find it exhausting really.

I do appreciate how hard it is for others though, I'm sure I am in the minority! The o my thing I am doing that would help you OP is to use the time to make a plan for the future to try and change things that are not working out for you. You can do it. I picked up on how tiring my job is with all the co tact o have with people so have decided to look into studying maybe next year or even the year after, probably from home, for something that could better my job for me.

I don’t miss anything. It’s my daughter’s birthday this coming weekend and my parents - who live about five minutes drive away - have asked if they can drop a bag of gifts off for her outside. I’ve said no. I don’t want to see them. Also it’s breaking the rules, it’s hardly essential.

You sound really flat ; not finding pleasure in anything or experiencing any motion and being 'numb', lacking all motivation, fearful etc. I would suggest a telephone appointment with your GP

No, and I feel bad that I am not able to take DS out exploring, or to groups where he meets other children, my family aren't seeing him growing up etc. For a shortish period obviously that's fine, but for me I would find it really, really hard long term. For your children's sake if it was long term though you would need to start home schooling, it's not fair on them to be left behind really- although at the moment survival is enough.

That's a shame for your DD. I'm sure they could drop them off on the way to do something like shopping which is essential.

I second the idea of calling your GP, you do sound like you need to talk to someone.

I do also agree that to the level you feel numb and unable to complete tasks such as picking a prescription up, perhaps you would benefit from some help and support.

You sound really really low op. I call it flatlining - just living each day feeling nothing.

Could certainly not do this forever what would the point to life be. Apart from that we have to earn money
Why would I want to be apart from my children and grandchildren Why would I want to have to stay in going nowhere. Already have had to cancel several holidays Life becomes very very dull