Could anyone else do this forever now?

[Gatorgator]

I don’t particularly like it but I wasn’t halpy before either so now it’s just like a different version of unhappy and in some ways it’s a lot less demanding.
I’ve given up trying to home school either dc. I’ve given up going out at all. It’s much much much easier to stay home, not get dressed, watch tv, read some books, wait to go back to bed.
I could do this for a really really really long time. There’s no joy but god it’s easier than real life.

2 of my kids have had lockdown birthdays, excellent timing.
They each had 3 or 4 people ring the doorbell and drop a present on the doorstep then wave happy birthday from the gate. I would say that is essential, our mental health is every bit as important as our physical health and having a fun birthday is essential for kids.
If you're feeling anxious about the virus being on the presents then get your parents to drop them off a couple of days before and leave them sitting. They could come by on the day and wave in the window or chat from the gate. I would love it if my parents were close enough to do this. Please let them.
Do everything you can to make your dd's birthday special, it's really important.

And yes, turn off Facebook. Right now.

I’m not worried at all about the virus being on the presents. I’m not really all that worried about the virus even though I’m vulnerable.
My parents have been anywhere for weeks and nor have we so the risk of anyone infecting anyone with anything is basically zero. They ordered her presents online so I guess they have had deliveries and so have we - but that’s all. I did suggest just having them delivered here in the first place.

Yes, come off your local FB. It is highly likely to be full of twats who are making up their own rules for lockdown. The local stasi, if you like.

That really doesn't mean that all of your neighbours are watching you, or that they are even interested in what happens on your doorstep.

Relax and let your parents drop off their gifts for your DD. It isn't against any rules. It would probably make them and her feel that bit happier right now, and remember that mental health is also vital at this time too. Everyone needs a sense of normality and happiness to cling onto, however slender it may be right now.

Honestly, it is no different to having a delivery arrive, or the post.

You do sound very flat and worn down.

You sound depressed.

Let your child have her presents. There is no good reason not to do so.

No I couldn't. It is shit.

It's not living, it's just existing.

We have such busy lives normally- taxis for all DC clubs, socialising, seeing family, days out - and it is all stopped. Both WFH and trying to school two DC. It's just crap.

What are your reasons not to let dd have her birthday presents from her grandparents?

Children love attention, the excitement and presents. A birthday during lockdown is not going to be the best at least try and make it lovely for your dd.

I'll start by saying I am lucky as work/finances aren't an issue. Also my DC are adults so I don't have to organise or amuse them! But I am really enjoying it. Literally the only thing I have to think about is when to get food deliveries, and with that I have also been lucky and got slots when I needed to (even if it does take a few days of trying). I feel so free (ironically), and light. No worries, nothing that needs doing or sorting. It's like a massive break from life and honestly was what I needed (having suffered 2 big traumas in recent years). Of course I wish I hadn't got the break because of a virus and I feel for all those who are suffering in various ways. But for me it's been therapeutic.

Literally the only reason that I couldn't do this forever is that I do like to travel. Having to give that up would depress me. But obviously I know that's not gone forever so I'm just enjoying the time now. The lesson I have taken away from this though is that if life gets tough in future, I now know I need a full on break from it to feel better!

Gator, I feel like this too! Going out now makes me feel odd and I can't wait to go home. I need to snap out of this , it's not good.

No I couldn't, and I already had a pretty boring lonely life. Even so, there were still a few things I used to do that I enjoyed, and I miss doing those things now.

Gatorgator, as much as I want to send you support and an unmumsnetty hug, I actually get what you mean... Normal, pre Covid life, was just pressure after pressure. I know there are different pressures now and for some people of course, are really struggling but for many, the whole pressure of keeping up with the joneses, pressure to be social etc makes for just as much of a miserable existence as this isolation does for others.

Whilst I miss the freedom of just being to go out if I want to, there is PLENTY I don't miss and some things I will never go back to, some things I am surprised I don't miss. And some people I thought I'd miss and don't. It's liberating in a way.

I'm perfectly happy, I'm a natural hermit and have to make a big effort to go out with friends and do things. I love my home and my cat and the solitude.
I'm also thrilled to see the planet beginning to heal itself, the air quality improve, the animals coming out, bees everywhere.
I have to go to work in the NHS, I'm not nearly as busy as I used to be.
On the way home driving through the countryside everything looks incredible, I keep thinking all us humans do is poison and destroy all natural and beautiful things.

Oh and we must be odd because we're thriving on home ed!

Op you are clearly extremely depressed. My worry is for your DC though as they are going to be terribly affected by this. You won't do any school work with them which is very concerning and won't even let your DC receive birthday presents from family because you don't want to have to see your parents. Can you see the impact your mental health is having on your dc? Do you think that is fair on them?

I could have written this OP. My mental health has always been fragile. In January I basically had a complete breakdown following a hospital stay for meningitis. Mentally and physically I was literally broken. I didn't move from my bed, see or speak to anyone. Then lockdown came. In some warped way it gave me permission to begin the healing process. As the whole country retreated 'with me' I felt a sense of peace and strangely less isolated. It was like I was finally being given permission to tuck myself away and go at my own pace. I have actually made more progress than I would have done if I had been forced to participate in life. I have started walking at least every few days, I have discovered that writing is therapeutic and a healthy outlet and have made up for lost time with my son who I was apart from for 6 weeks when in hospital. I'm also an introvert, and yeah, although probably not healthy, I could absolutely live like this forever. Social situations stress me. The only aspect I would want back is for my son to be able to socialise again. I don't really miss anyone either. Not close to family and whilst I have friends I don't feel shortchanged for not seeing them. I had a blazing row with one of my 'best friends' the other day over the phone regarding her complete disregard for lockdown. I hate confrontation, and my anxiety soared. I feel awkward around people generally and am relieved to not have this constant pressure to be sociable.
The only thing I.would say is, as an NHS nurse I am plagued with guilt about not being on the frontline. I am beating myself up about it, but in my current state of health I would probably be a fat lot of good anyway.

No, I couldn't do this forever. But a few years ago I was studying and took some time out due to depression, and for a few months I had a similar sort of lifestyle to this - didn't really go out, never saw anyone except the people I lived with, didn't do anything, just sort of existed day to day. Anything that required actual responsibility felt like too much. At that time I expect it would have taken a lot of pressure off in the short term, knowing that everyone else was in the same boat and I had a really good excuse not to be doing anything. But it's not good for you in the end, to avoid everything - you deserve a proper life, and your children deserve a mother who's fully present in reality.

I'm sure it's the last thing you feel like doing but I agree with the PPs who said you need to talk to your GP. It's not normal, how you're feeling

Numbinside13, please don't feel guilty for not being at work - your health should always come before your job, no matter how important it is.