Anyone not actually miss seeing their parents ?!

[ishouldnotsayit]

Pre lockdown my parents visited once a week, they have done since I had my oldest DC who's coming up 4. I'm a SAHM and I've recently had a new baby. I just don't miss them visiting. It's actually so nice not to have the pressure of them coming around ! They just moan about everything from my basic biscuits to the layout of my house ( we bought what we could afford.) They are very critical and whilst I certainly appreciate parenting is damn hard they weren't good parents. I feel quite free because of not seeing them.

I send them a few snapshots pics of our day now. Although I'm finding I don't even want to ask about theirs. If I venture into "the how are you" territory it's all doom and gloom. They are fine, no at risk
medical issues and not actually even 70. My mum has always had a bit of a depressive air to her. She was always I have it worse if you ever mentioned a worry or concern to her when I was growing up.

I have occasionally video called my mum since lockdown ( which is painful because she can't seem to follow anything or answer when I call her. She's always making the lunch/ having/ lunch/ thinking about making dinner/ making dinner/ eating dinner / tidying up from Dinner ) So maybe she feels the same huh?! We live quite far away so maybe this will be the end of weekly visits ?

Anyone else not miss their wider families ?

No, I don’t tend to miss anyone. DH, DS and I generally spend around 8 weeks away every year anyway and often we don’t see anyone else for months at a time. Sometimes we don’t bother to text or Face time either, just the odd text to check everyone is ok.
Perhaps if we went into a year of this I might start to kiss people.

No I don't miss anyone tbh!

I miss no one yet. It hasn't been long and we're connected by internet. I hardly ever see my parents anyway.

Not having to see my mother every week is wonderful but the awful FaceTime each week plus endless bloody texts, emails & post are exhausting
All she wants to do is discuss how terrible everything is

It possibly slightly depends on how your lockdown is going. I have had some utter hell with my 17 year old (police, arrests, shielding letters which he is ignoring, violence & on & depressingly on). When we have been in crisis before we have often gone to my brother & family for a day or two. Even though it’s not yet an extremely exceptionally long time since we saw my brother (November), because things have been so dire & I (we) rely on that support, I have cried & cried over not being able to go to them. I just want them so much. However, my mum, whom I love & so forth, but she is not my emotional support, is much easier to wait for - as long as she stays well, I can be patient there.,

My PIL are abusive so it is a massive relief.

We all miss my parents though. I am hoping it will be safe to visit in small numbers soon.

Very happy to have some freedom for a change. Feel sorry for those who miss their parents, but I would have no issues with continuing without seeing mine for a very long time.

Don't miss my mum at all but I rarely see her anyway.
I do miss my daughter and grandchildren though 😢

I cant imagine what it must be like to have parents that you dont want to see or to be a parent that doesnt want to see their adult children / grandchildren.
Iv missed my parents so much! I worry how they are both getting on. Today i dropped some lovely food off on my mums door step and she exchanged it with some yummy dishes for me n my LO. N yes my mother can be doom n gloom but i spend a lot of time listening as i know she is old and its her way of coping in such difficult times. Old age makes parents vulnerable. The lockdown just amplifies it.

I don't miss anyone really. I am pretty introverted. DH wanders around in a bubble. The Dcs are missing their friends and we have called them a few times.

TBH I am calling people more often and vice versa and I have really valued that. Parents- well- only see them 2 times a year at most as they live far away AND have a very very active retirement so that has not made a difference. We are skyping once a week which is good. I e-mail them every day and call them 5-6 times a week, but that is our normal.

Me. I just have no bond whatsoever with my parents as my mum was a bully when i was a kid and my dad didn't protect me. Of course I'd like to have had a normal relationship with my parents but i don't

No, I don’t miss anyone. The people I care about are right here with me at home. I rarely see my parents due to the distance we live from them, we WhatsApp and talk on the phone once a week as we always do. I’m not close to my siblings. My in laws are similar. We aren’t very sociable people I realise! DD misses her school friends.

Me. I boggle when I read the posts about people desperate to see their lovely mums. That must be so nice.

I love my mum, but I don’t miss her. The emotional support goes one way, always has.

No, my family are so over involved and I really struggle with that, they're here every five minutes playing pass the baby with my daughter and being loud over bearing and critical, I feel exhausted after they've left every time!

My husband has been furloughed and I m still on maternity so we're enjoying the peace and quiet. Had to start ignoring the multiple demands to go visiting every single extended family member through windows, much to everyone's disgust! We've had many many doorstep deliveries -of absolute shite that we don't want or need all well documented on Facebook of course 🙄

My parents don’t like me. I haven’t even spoken to my dad since early feb and I’ve only spoken to my mother because I’ve felt obligated to ring, otherwise she claims I don’t care.

Neither of them have rung or text me once to see if I’m ok. 🤷‍♀️ I’ve always been so jealous of my friends who have lovely mothers and nice relationships. I wonder what that’s like.

I do miss my friends though.

I’m not missing anyone yet, I don’t think it’s been long enough, maybe after another 5 weeks, we’ll see.

Toxic mother so this is one of the few positives of the lockdown. No pressure to visit, no being told what an awful person I am for not visiting (lives 3 hours away). No visits to dread.

I miss my friends terribly though.

I don't miss mine or my in-laws.
I speak to my mum on the phone once or twice a week.
I used to see her approx once a month for an hour.

It’s bliss.

I have to deal with phone calls from my dad but it’s the usual guilt trip crap I’ve been hearing for years - I need to come and stay with you; Im lonely, I have no friends, I’ll kill myself.

I’m 40 and it’s all I’ve heard since I moved out at 22 (and I had all that at home in childhood too). He’s 85 and has had his whole life to well, get his own life. He’s stopped me living mine and continues to do so. This lockdown has been a wonderful break for me as he’s even more draining in person and the children aren’t hearing constant talk of suicide.

He’s not suicidal - this is all to make me feel guilty that he’s not the centre or my world as he thinks he should be. He does have friends. He was in hospital for cancer last year and had to stay with me for a few weeks to recover last year. All I heard was very stressful, whispered phone calls from a huge number of people who clearly wanted to visit and my dad having to put them off so he could pretend he has no one so he could play the lonely old man card to me and lay on the guilt again.

I do feel a bit obliged to text and give my parents updates as they are bored. I do have some guilt there that I should care.

Well my mum is bored, my Dad next went out anyway apart from visiting us and the supermarket. Maybe I'll slow fade and see what happens.

I too am very envious of positive family relationships. My brother I never see either, he's not interested. I often text, but he never replies. He sees my parents only when he wants money.

Just phoning/ videoing once a week is enough for me.

I miss them taking the kids out though.

I don’t miss mine at all, and it’s quite nice to not have to visit. Like pinkarsedfly, I’m always so interested to hear about people missing their parents.

Toxic parents here. Mum has tried a u-turn since having the (miracle) child that triggered her talking to me after 5 months of silence.

I’m low contact and made my peace two years ago but she adores my child and I want him to have some relationship with her so was seeing her about once a week.

Lock down has been bliss. There have been major hints to pop over which I’ve batted away.

She’s currently not messaging to see how long it is before I do. 2 weeks and counting.