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Original poster

Exercise - is he right?

52 replies

iMoan7 · 22/04/2020 13:07

Husband is insisting we stop at lunchtime for a family walk today. I don’t want to go. Kids are happy in the garden.

His position: kids need to get out. You need to get out. You’re anxious and they’ll become anxious too.

I never said I was anxious. I don’t think I am. I just hate the rigmarole of it. The feeling when someone is behind you etc. I’d rather just avoid it. Is anyone else feeling like this?

He said he would take them himself for the record but he is worried about me finding it hard to go out.

OP posts:
Original poster
iMoan7 · 22/04/2020 14:30

I haven’t been to the supermarket yet. DH has done all that. He’s happy to do it though. He likes to be out and about so he’s finding this quite hard. He’s out every day either taking the kids for a walk or going for a run.

I may try and have a walk round the block later tonight.

OP posts:
WanderingLost167 · 22/04/2020 14:38

He's worried about your mental wellbeing.

Listen to him

puffinandkoala · 22/04/2020 14:38

I understand the anxiety around meeting people, it doesn't make me anxious as such, but I find it irritating constantly having to cross the road, or walk or run in the road - very few people get out of my way, I have to get out of everyone else's (or maybe I just react quickly and move before they've even seen me!). However, the irritation is outweighed by the fact that I don't want to get fat, so don't stay indoors.

For what it's worth, I don't like people coming up behind me either. Generally I walk fast so it doesn't happen, but as soon as I go for a walk with DH we have people coming right up behind us as he is so slow!

The fact that you say you are happy in the house makes me think it's more than just finding it a hassle though. There are quieter times of day and it's easier to go at your own pace and not in a group. Your DH taking the kids out and you going out on your own when it's quiet sounds like a good option to me.

I noticed there's a lady in a local FB group who usually goes out running but refuses to leave the house/garden at the moment. I really think there needs to be an information campaign to make clear that this virus cannot jump onto you when you are running or walking outside.

atenthofaclue · 22/04/2020 14:40

I didn't think he sounded controlling. Not sure why you felt the need to clarify that.

You do sound anxious. It's good you're now thinking about what you can do to prevent that escalating.

Atalune · 22/04/2020 14:45

All your posts sort of sound like you’re maybe mostly fine but there is a creep of anxious behaviour (fretting about people behind you) and the lack of exercise (it REALLY does help) and the reluctance to make yourself do it even if you’re not in the mood.

It sounds a little bit like things are sort of slipping on down and your DH has noticed (nice) and is gently encouraging you to come out.

The danger is real but fear is a choice. I heard that on TV yesterday and I liked it and I wonder if your starting to show a bit of fear and it’s preventing you from doing the things you like.

Online fitness classes- lots of gyms and PTs have set up zoom classes. Could you do that?

Change the walk time? So he walks with the kids at lunch and then you all walk together at say 6pm?

Weight gain, reluctance to leave the house, lethargy. They aren’t great signs. Small as they are now, maybe time to take heed.

SallyWD · 22/04/2020 14:57

What are you worried about? Going out for a daily walk is allowed and it's fine. There's no reason you'd get in to trouble- it'll do you all good, mentally and physically. This morning my stress levels were through the roof because of home schooling and work. I felt so awful. Then I went out for an hours walk and feel completely relaxed and refreshed now. I can't sleep if I don't walk every day. Also my children's behaviour is much better if they have a walk. Do it!

OhLookHeKickedTheBall · 22/04/2020 15:01

I've only been out three times since this all started. I've taken to trying to do stair workouts and making sure I'm not eating as much, especially not junk. I'd love to go back out for a walk but I'm getting myself more wound up by people who won't keep a distance no matter how hard you try to get away from them that I'd rather stay in

Quartz2208 · 22/04/2020 15:05

I can kind of see why he is concerned OP?

Are you vulnerable at all? And how do you feel about having to restart without a vaccine

MrsTerryPratchett · 22/04/2020 15:08

Now I have no desire to run really I like it in the house

There are going to be a lot of people who develop agoraphobia after this. I suggest you make yourself go for a run.

IToldYouIWasFreaky · 22/04/2020 15:08

I understand where you're coming from. We normally walk to our local park. Once we're there, it's nice and open and you can see people coming and pick your route accordingly so it's easy to maintain distance.

However, the walk to the park can be a pain as it's along suburban streets which, while not exactly busy, are fairly well used by people so there's that constant crossing of roads, giving way to people, or guessing if they'll give way to you which is very annoying and can be quite mentally tiring. I'm usually glad to be back at home again!

I do think your husband is right though, and it'll do you good to get out and about. Pick a quiet time and route and do it on your own so you're not also worrying about the kids. You will feel better for it.

ladygracie · 22/04/2020 15:13

If you are worried about people being around I go at about 12,30 as it’s very quiet where I am then as I guess people are having lunch. I definitely notice a difference when I go later.

woodencoffeetable · 22/04/2020 15:14

I'm with your dh.
we go for a walk at lunchtime or I take dc (teenagers) for a run with me in the evenings when it's quit outside.

chocolatviennois · 22/04/2020 15:17

I think you definitely need to get out on a walk. 1. Exercise tends to make one feel more positive about life. 2. you do not want to be putting on weight through lack of activity. 3. Sunlight will help your vitamin D levels. I live in a rural area so it is fairly easy to keep my distance from others and I take gloves to open gates. Your husband sounds well intentioned. I can appreciate it is hard for people in cities to exercise away from others - if I lived in a city I would be going out early in the morning before most people were up and about.

fellyjish · 22/04/2020 15:17

I run early in the day (usually leave just before 7) and there's very few people out and about, I would highly recommend a walk/run at that time, even if it's just 10 minutes. I tried running in the evening but it's much busier (and warmer, I'm not good at running in anything near warm!!)

Riv12345 · 22/04/2020 15:42

If you feel anxious and want to stay away from people I totally understand that.

My husband is doing the shopping as well.

I do go out for a hour each day to the park as I'm lucky enough to live right opposite one.

I still work only part time tho actually on a ward with coronavirus positive patients so on my days off I like to keep away from people so that's why he's doing shopping.

I have just had 2 weeks off annual leave.
Back to work next week.

Do what you feel comfortable with and stay safe.

megletthesecond · 22/04/2020 15:45

You need to get out for a run Flowers.
For the sake of your mental and physical health.

I've not dared go into a shop for a month but I am running every day.

TheOrigBrave · 22/04/2020 15:52

I have the kids during the day while trying to work and then I need to make up my hours at night. Now I have no desire to run really I like it in the house

What's your DH doing while you've got the kids in the day and trying to work?
What's he doing when you're making up hours at night?
How old are the children?

Do you think you'd like to get out alone ie is it mainly just the hoo haa of 'happy family walk' which you're not keen on or is it getting out at all?
Maybe identify what it is and don't let it become a 'thing'.

SquashedFlyBiscuit · 22/04/2020 16:02

I think people are all in v different situations and not everyone realises thar.

I have family going out for long rambles everyday and can't understamd why everyone else isnt. Possibly like some on this thread? However they live rurally amd can ramble in green space and not encounter anyone.

I live in a built up estate where many people dont seem fussed about maintaining 2m.

We know the virus is very cintagious and the 2m distance is there for a reason. It is possibly more than 2m with a sneeze or cough. It would be ridiculously stressful trying to aboid people where I live so we havent been walking. And wimilarly been happy enough in.

Now its been clarified that its okay to drive to walk we've found an open space we can drive to and access that is quieter in the evening and have done that.

I think it may well be the OP isnt unreasonable at all. Obviousky some posters above have lovely walks on their doorstep and/or few people and those who are around are keeping distance. Completely different story here!

Quartz2208 · 22/04/2020 16:05

@iMoan7 TheOrigBrave makes a good point as well - have you actually allocated out the time fairly in terms of childcare and work

Original poster
iMoan7 · 22/04/2020 16:12

Sorry I haven’t been clear re childcare.

We are both working from home. He is full time and I am four days per week (Wednesday is my day off). Our kids are 5 and 2 so we work and take care of the kids in shifts during the week. Then when the kids are in bed we are both working pretty much till we go to bed.

OP posts:
Original poster
iMoan7 · 22/04/2020 16:13

Can we drive to walk now?? I think I missed tjah

OP posts:
Original poster
iMoan7 · 22/04/2020 16:13

That

OP posts:
CodenameVillanelle · 22/04/2020 16:15

You can drive to walk if it's not far. I agree with DH that you should be leaving the house. A sense of normality even temporary is important for our mental health.

Thirtyrock39 · 22/04/2020 16:16

I don't agree that you have to go out everyday and I do think people seem to think it's mandatory to go out of the house everyday to exercise when it's only if you want to. There's lots of exercise you can do at home or in the garden if you want to and it is weird going out and having to keep avoiding people . I go out three times a week for a jog if you go before 8am it's really quiet where I live and I avoid alley ways and bridges now so there's not so much of having to dodge people. I'm also still at work so I do get out of the house for that as well but I don't think there's an issue with staying in your house and garden most days for a couple of months. Especially when the weather is so good- I've spent so much time in the garden and find this much better for my mental health than awkward walks.

SquashedFlyBiscuit · 22/04/2020 16:20

I don't think we need to go out everyday. The advice is to stay home unless you have to go out. Why some people think that means they should go out more than they did I dont know.