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Original poster

Exercise - is he right?

52 replies

iMoan7 · 22/04/2020 13:07

Husband is insisting we stop at lunchtime for a family walk today. I don’t want to go. Kids are happy in the garden.

His position: kids need to get out. You need to get out. You’re anxious and they’ll become anxious too.

I never said I was anxious. I don’t think I am. I just hate the rigmarole of it. The feeling when someone is behind you etc. I’d rather just avoid it. Is anyone else feeling like this?

He said he would take them himself for the record but he is worried about me finding it hard to go out.

OP posts:
fruitbrewhaha · 22/04/2020 13:09

I think it's good to get out. Are you getting any other exercise? Exercise is so good your mental health.

Perhaps it would also be nice to do something he would like to do. He would like to share a walk with you all.

Unshriven · 22/04/2020 13:10

Sounds like he might be right.

I keep my distance from others where possible, but I'm not anxious about others being out around us, doing their own thing.

pocketem · 22/04/2020 13:10

There's no right or wrong about it

Don't go out if you don't want to

Let him take the kids out

fruitbrewhaha · 22/04/2020 13:11

Sorry I didn't answer your question, but no I don't worry if someone is behind me, or in front etc

jamcircuit · 22/04/2020 13:15

So you aren’t going out to exercise at all?

I think he’s right in that it’s important to get out. Important for your body to get moving. Important to see that the world is still continuing, cars are being serviced, windows are being cleaned, children are still going to schools etc.

On the other hand there is no need to go when he says so.

Derbygerbil · 22/04/2020 13:16

I never said I was anxious. I don’t think I am. I just hate the rigmarole of it. The feeling when someone is behind you etc. I’d rather just avoid it. Is anyone else feeling like this?

Seems like anxiety to me, otherwise why the concern over whether someone might be behind you? Even if they were, I’m not sure why you’d need to be concerned.

Original poster
iMoan7 · 22/04/2020 13:17

No. Before this I ran and went to the gym but I haven’t really had time to run since this kicked off. I have the kids during the day while trying to work and then I need to make up my hours at night. Now I have no desire to run really I like it in the house

OP posts:
kingkuta · 22/04/2020 13:18

If you're happy in the garden and they're getting exercise out there, why bother?
Or you could just let him take them out and enjoy the peace in the garden for a bit Smile

Pluckedpencil · 22/04/2020 13:20

Exercise is good for you but it's not obligatory. He'd maybe just like you to go for company with him though and is worried you are holding yourself up in the house. I get his point. But it's not exactly relaxing going for a walk right now. Can't you find somewhere where hardly anyone walks? A wood or canal or something?

onanothertrain · 22/04/2020 13:21

You do sound a bit anxious. If you don't want to go then that's ok but don't stop your DC from going.

PatriciaHolm · 22/04/2020 13:22

I think he has a point. Getting out isn't just about physical health and vitamin D, it's important for mental health too. And it's good for the kids, so setting an example there is good too.

He's probably worried about you too, if you used to run regularly but now don't even want to go out.

Bagelsandbrie · 22/04/2020 13:24

So you’re not getting any exercise at all? That’s not good for anyone.

Quartz2208 · 22/04/2020 13:24

Yes I think he may have a point to be fair. We are allowed out and it is an important part of ensuring will feel ok

Wolfiefan · 22/04/2020 13:28

Depends really. We are quite rural. I can choose routes carefully to avoid meeting anyone or to ensure I can get out of the way if I do.
If I lived in a busier area then I wouldn’t be as happy to be out in the same way.

Inconnu · 22/04/2020 13:35

This is a hard one to call without knowing the situation. Normally I would say it's entirely up to you. But the wording of your post does make you sound a bit anxious.

PicsInRed · 22/04/2020 13:46

Now I have no desire to run really I like it in the house

He's right you need to get out of the house.

PomBearsyummy · 22/04/2020 13:49

I agree with him. The more you avoid public spaces the more scared of them you will become. Get out and have a walk, its nice out there.

PinkMonkeyBird · 22/04/2020 13:57

I can understand where he is coming from, but I can also understand your anxiety about encountering people. I feel the need to get out for a walk (my running mojo has gone totally for now), but I also feel a tad anxious about people walking towards me and the whole will they cross or will I cross rigmarole ...but there really is no way around it. I stick my earphones on and just get out. Getting some outside time is really paramount, but if you are fine just having access to your garden, then so be it. Let your H go off for his walk and do his thing, nobody can force you.

Wiaa · 22/04/2020 14:06

I think he's right you need to leave the house you do sound anxious. No need to go far just stay on your own street for now pick a time when it seems to be quiet. If it helps I've only come across really lovely people on my walks with dh and dc 1yr and 4yr old everyone without fail has made an effort to distance well in advance of us crossing paths (we do too) on narrow paths people also tend to go into the road for us to pass with the pushchair. It's been quite nice even had a chat with a few elderly people from their windows as we've passed.

bambinis · 22/04/2020 14:11

It depends on what you experience when you go out I guess. Here there's quite a lot of people, not a lot of space, people get angry with dogs coming close and having to negotiate who waits in a bush so others can pass. Last walk I saw two different sets of people getting into an argument about others taking the piss, blocking paths etc. Honestly...I didn't enjoy it and can't be arsed with it now. I REALLY want to go for a walk....but not like that. That might make me sound anxious?? I'm not, I'm irritated with it.

onceandneveragain · 22/04/2020 14:13

If you don't feel like going out today, of course that's fine...despite what some people seem to think exercise once a day isn't mandatory! However, yes if you "like being in the house" and don't like leaving the house, that does sound like anxiety, as does the exaggeration of the "rigmarole" of someone coming behind you....building up something very normal and easily surmounted (seriously unless someone happens to cough directly into your face at the exact time they pass you it's very very unlikely that they will otherwise pass anything on in the brief seconds they are a few feet away from you) into something complicated and threatening.

Apart from anything else, unless you've got a massive house surely you're not getting much exercise if you're not leaving it much? If you don't want to go out today why not try going for a run early tomorrow morning while it's quiet, on your own so you only have to worry about moving yourself out of any ones way?

Original poster
iMoan7 · 22/04/2020 14:14

Thanks for the answers. We live in a small town in the suburbs of a larger city. It’s fairly quiet but there are still people out and about. He’s taken the kids out for a run along the paths. I’m sunbathing in the garden. He’s not delighted but hasn’t said much (he’s really very sweet he’s not remotely controlling he’s just concerned).

OP posts:
Original poster
iMoan7 · 22/04/2020 14:18

I think I probably am a little stressed and anxious. I’m not prone to it and I’m usually quite good at dealing with it but it just seems easier somehow to just stay in and avoid it all. But I’m putting on weight and feeling down (which happens when I stop exercising) so I think I’m going to need to find a grip.

I feel quite overwhelmed with it all. I get a bit panicky when I think about it all too much.

OP posts:
Sameold2020 · 22/04/2020 14:20

It is stressful but I still do it. I think it's really important. Why bit go out alone later? It might be less stressful when you've only got yourself to worry about.

We have to keep crossing over and waiting on the grass etc, but it's still worth it.

I've only been in a supermarket once so realise that I probably need to face this in the next week. We won't be allowed to shut ourselves away for much longer, so may as well start getting used to it.

puds11 · 22/04/2020 14:20

Can you go for a run later in the evening when there are less people about? Doesn’t have to be long so won’t take much time out of the day.