That's it I'm done

[babasaclover]

Right that's it I'm done. I've been locked in this house since January. First due to health now Coronavirus. I'm done been positive and thankful for having a garden etc - i need to MOOOOOAAAAANNNNN.

Anyone else thoroughly fucked off with it all? Never thought I would miss work and mundane stuff.

@Dowser

Thank you

Have to say I feel better for all that - and having just watched the daily briefing with young Winston (bless him - my Mum feels sorry for him) at least my righteous anger bone hasn't gone numb - which is a positive sign xxxx

Crikey @OldQueen1969 that sounds utterly shit, I'm so sorry

We all need a safe space to vent it's good for the soul. I'm glad so many of you are finding comfort from it and said big hugs to all of you for the nightmare that some of you are in xxx

Old queen

Well like I said..come along any time Lou want to sound off
Sometimes it’s the only thing keeping my head above water
There’s also the night thread..people offer to mind your worries so you can sleep
It’s A lovely Thought.
I had to let go of my mum...it was so hard on us both
I prayed just once she’d open her eyes and say my name..but she didn’t
She did stir and sat up and reached out to someone. I hope it was her mum or my dad ...I don’t know.
Never feel guilty for wanting their suffering to end.
It was 6 months before I was able to cry for her.., because I’d she’d so many tears on her dementia journey.

I’ve had a shit-rough day today.
I’m sure I’m getting a uti..normally I can sort myself out with something..but I feel too poorly to bother.
I will get over this.
Massive big dowserish hugs for anyone finding it more difficult than I am

@Dowser - massive hugs back to you - it is so hard - reconciling the desire for a swift and peaceful end with the prospect of loss x Thank you for the night thread suggestion x

In fact - anyone else in for a group hug? And vodka. Just enough of course, not too much.

Sometimes it’s nice to talk about mum. How old she is. Has she had a good life. What is special about her.
Maybe if you don’t want to do it here you could make a new thread.
I used to whisper to mine and tell her she’d been the best mum, I would be fine and that I could release her and it would be ok to let her go
I think she flitted in and out of her physical body in her last week.
The nurses and carers were magnificent.
They did an amazing job.

Iv finally snapped. Iv had enough. I want out of this. I just want to go back to normal 😩 I want to go on holiday in July. I want to see my dad. I want to asda for a mooch!!

I hear you Mummypig2020.

I know what you mean. My dad, who is usually one of the strongest people I know, is really struggling. He wants to see his grandchildren and his friends. We lost a family member recently and we can't see the extended family. The funeral was unattended because the family felt they couldn't decide who would attend. A memorial will be held at later date.

On a selfish note, I want to get out. I'm studying AAT at a local college. I'm really grateful that they've made online provision, but I'm struggling with it. The classroom situation was good for me because my tutor came up with funny little things to remember the different equations and people asked questions that I hadn't even thought of, but helped with my learning. There's a great little cafe nearby which served a lovely cappuccino and I really want one!

There's lots more, but I hate to vocalise it because I feel that I shouldn't.
I know that there are many who are feeling it more, I feel for you all.

I've got a massive glass jar and we sat down as a family earlier and listed what we kmissef on paper and what we wanted to do first once this was over. My nearly 4 year old said I miss cuddling grandma and pulled the saddest face. Broke me

Is it acceptable to throat punch neighbours? My oh so charming neighbour made a big song and dance of asking if im pregnant again yesterday... clearly not remembering she saw me the day i had my termination when i was a sobbing mess coming home. Today its 4 months since my termination and while im okay with the decision her comments REALLY pissed me off big time aaaaand its my birthday tomorrow and i refuse to let it cloud my day

Feeling really low the last few days . Am doing the schedule thing (2 kids 11,15 at home), exercise, some video calls etc. Finding supporting kids home schooling very wearing. Seriously bored. Big headache this morning and generally feeling really sorry for myself.

I want my mum. She's 220 miles away though and on the vulnerable list.

I am too colouring. Totally cba. Not sleeping and generally very fed up

both.

sofa, wine and TV now. Finally.

Had a total meltdown today. Felt like an elephant was sitting on my chest (anxiety not COVID).

I had a bath at 2pm, with gin and tonic, cried and then went for a walk with chocolate at 5pm.

Not sure I can cope with much more than this.

sunnie that sounds really tough. Hope you can rest now. I seem unable to cry though I think it would help

YES I needed a moan!!

I just want my fucking hair done. I want to be able to buy make up. I want to be able to not have to answer to some no mark in a shop door way asking if I have symptoms; like WHY WOULD I EVEN BE OUT SHOPPING IF I DID. Go away.

I feel like a lot of shop staff are just using this time as an excuse to be rude and snippy with customers because they think they can get away with it. It stinks.

It all stinks. I'm sick of seeing positive posts now. I'm sick of trying to do shitty home workouts. I did them for 4 weeks... now my motivation and hope of keeping any muscle gain is gone.

I'm sick of the word eSsEnTiAL, boring boring boring boring boring

I'm pissed off!!! Screw you Lockdown.

I’m sick of people jumping out the way of each other in public as if we all have the plague. Sick of having to keep my friendly dogs away from other friendly dogs when they just want to say hello.

I miss normal social interaction and people not being paranoid. It’s all so depressing. I can’t wait for normal service to resume.

I'm up for this 😈. I've been working since all this started knowing I won't be receiving any money any time soon. The past few days I've been sorting out furlough payments for people at home bored and getting a ton of phone calls wanting me to talk them through the process. No, just fuck off and let me crack on, speaking to you for a fucking hour and 45 mins is not helping my workload.

And breathe 😬

I'm starting to have a little less angrier frustrated days. And more down days.
My DM is going through chemo (started during lockdown). Cant see her.
Just fed up.

My hair is like a long hair hippy!

@englishrosie you can go to Boots for makeup if you really want some, I went today for some facewash and the guy at the door just asked "pharmacy or shopping?". I said shopping and went straight in.

I am still going out to work, pharmacy... then going home to a house with people in. I like going home to a usually empty house, relaxing alone, having sweet silence after chatting for hours with people so frightened and so desperately lonely that they need to come to a pharmacy for a reassuring chat.

"My ears are full..." a phrase my dd used to say when she came home from primary school. I know how she felt now.

beyond can you take half an hour on your way home from work to get some quiet time? Sounds really important.

I just want to go to sleep and wake up in a year. Can't face tomorrow

colouringindoors - I tried... but my lovely DH decided that since he is working from home he will pick me up from work to save me the walk and to keep the car running smoothly. He IS lovely, his heart is soooo in the right place and my feet really appreciate the lift home, I just need "no people" sometimes... I am going to cut back the ivy today - alone... perhaps a half hour a day would be good on that!