Can grandparents look after my 2 DC when im in labour?

[Nic165]

My mum and dad are late 50s/early 60s. No underlying health conditions. My mum is not working, hasn't been out of the house in 3 weeks. My dad still works but mostly from home, only goes out for work if absolutely needed which is maybe twice a week. My dp is able to look after the kids and drop me to hospital when in labour. But ideally it would be good to have him there for support. Is it reasonable to let my mum and dad mind the kids while I'm in labour or is this not allowed?

I thought I read somewhere that partners weren't allowed in delivery suite? Maybe I've been mistaken?

Totally reasonable. They have assessed their level of risk & are acting in accordance to this (going to shops/work etc). You child needs to be looked after, so they can do so. At present there is no general restriction on birthing partners attending births (I don’t know about specific hospitals or wards).

Totally fine. Falls under the remit of ‘caring duties’.

@BorisJohnsonMicrowavesHisBacon This isn’t true in any unit in the U.K. to my knowledge.

Yep, I’m due in the next couple of weeks and this is our plan. One of the reasons you’re allowed to go out is caring, so this falls into that category!

No not really because households are not supposed to mix

It would be better to have your DH look after them. It isn't worth the risk to the Grandparents

For what its worth. I gave birth to my children with just the hospital staff there, by choice, and it was OK

I would have thought yes as you can go out to help a vulnerable person. I think a woman giving birth falls into that category. Obviously not ideal as you're mixing households but it's not like you've got much choice.

Flaxmeadow, glad it was ok for you but a lot of women would really struggle. And most hospitals are allowing one person at the birth so why should she give birth alone if she doesn't have to?

Totally fine. Falls under the remit of ‘caring duties’

Exactly.

Flaxmeadow, glad it was ok for you but a lot of women would really struggle. And most hospitals are allowing one person at the birth so why should she give birth alone if she doesn't have to?

Because, as I said in my previous post, it puts the Grandparents at risk of catching the virus.

Your dad is still going out and about. So there is a possibility that he transmits the virus to your children, then you'll come home with a newborn and it will be in the house. If you are ok about that, or rather think it's a chance you are prepared to take, then yes you could go ahead.

Yes I would - essential and caring combined

Yes I would, im due late summer, and hoping is all abit better by then, my plan is best friend who lives near me will have dc1, there is no way I'm going without my husband last time was awful! I've not got any family and my mum has recently passed away so my friend is my family and I have little choice, good luck!!

I’m due in a couple of weeks and this is our plan. There isn’t a way round it really, we are limited to DP’s work van at the moment which has 3 seats... we have 2 dcs already that are too young to be left so he can’t take me and I have no way of getting myself there.

Hoping for a home birth but should I need to go to hospital he will need to take DCs to my mums and then drive me there. We’ve assessed the risks and taken all precautions we can, not an awful lot else we can do!

@Flaxmeadow and what do you think nurses/doctors/other key workers are doing with their children whilst they work 12 hour shifts? Plenty of family members are still going to be performing caring duties in these circumstances. I’m going to work and seeing colleagues and patients all day. Some households have to mix.

I don't think they can and there really is no need either as they have a dad to look after them. Besides, it would not be reasonable for him to attend hospital alongside you.

You will have midwives and won't be alone.

so why should she give birth alone if she doesn't have to?

she won't be alone though - there are midwives

she won't be alone though - there are midwives

As a midwife, I can tell you that staffing is pretty stretched currently. Yes, labourers get one to one care but it may be very difficult to provide comprehensive emotional support to someone you may have just met and ensure the safety of them and their baby. Birthing partners have a massive role to play.

Yes Op, it’s perfectly fine. As pp’s have said, it falls under care for a vulnerable person.

I’m 40 weeks pregnant. My MiL is coming to have my DD when I’m in labour. DH will be returning to her after the birth. I specifically asked my midwife if this is okay and she said of course it is, and seemed confused as to why it wouldn’t be. I said about the mixing of households and whether I should go it alone and she said absolutely not. That it’s essential care and that it is proven that having a birth partner is better for women, that it improves labour outcomes and is better for their mental health. Midwives aren’t expecting you to turn up without a birth partner unless you choose to or have no other choice obviously.

So ignore all of the ‘their dad can just have them’ rubbish. Giving birth during this pandemic definitely falls under the remit of exceptional circumstances which allow a slight bending of the rules.

And for what it’s worth, I’m completely supportive of no partners/visitors on the postnatal wards during all of this, but the birth is really a whole different scenario.

I would rather give birth without my husband than risk the health of my parents. Esp if its not a first baby

NoMorePoliticsPlease that’s a risk for the OP and her parents to assess though. In my case, for example, MiL has been isolating as have we, for several weeks now. DH picks up food at small local stores which are never very busy so the chance of us having anything is minimal. MiL is also in her 50s and has no health concerns. She’s more than happy to have DD (and is in fact very excited to as she hasn’t seen her since weeks before the lockdown).

MiL will also be leaving as soon as DH gets back from the hospital, to ensure he doesn’t have chance to pass it to her. She won’t be seeing me or the newborn so we aren’t at risk of passing anything on. If the OP or her parents and have discussed it and reasoned that there’s minimal risk then it’s fine, as it’s also allowed under caring for a vulnerable person.

Yes this is our plan also. My mums a midwife & feels it’s safer my husband is there for the birth, although I feel I could do it alone from wat a previous post has said maternity services are pretty stretched at the mo. Unless u are due to give birth soon or a midwife I don’t think ur opinion means much as you won’t of ever been in this situation.

Im due in a few weeks. My parents are isolating and so are we. They will be having our two boys when i go into labour. Whilst i feel uneasy about it, we have done all we can to minimise risk. I really dont think i could cope without my partner in labour in the best of times nevermind in the middle of a pandemic!

I think you're ok to do that, I would in this situation. Wouldn't want to give birth without support of my partner. It's tough whichever way isn't it, but I would risk it.

I think both sides will need to isolate before and after to avoid transmission. You don't want your DC to give it to your parents (they're not over 70 but still older), you don't want your parents to give it to your DC as it could be passed onto you and even the baby.

Only other option is if your Mum can totally isolate away from your Dad in the house and then moves in with you for a few weeks.

As PP said, as your parents are younger the biggest risk is that your parents pass something onto you your DC which then gets transmitted to baby.

If you go ahead with the plan, I would look at how to mitigate this risk by, for example, asking both your parents to stay home in the lead up to the birth.