Can grandparents look after my 2 DC when im in labour?

[Nic165]

My mum and dad are late 50s/early 60s. No underlying health conditions. My mum is not working, hasn't been out of the house in 3 weeks. My dad still works but mostly from home, only goes out for work if absolutely needed which is maybe twice a week. My dp is able to look after the kids and drop me to hospital when in labour. But ideally it would be good to have him there for support. Is it reasonable to let my mum and dad mind the kids while I'm in labour or is this not allowed?

You'll get the Stasi saying absolutely a woman should give birth alone. But in my mind this is exceptional circumstances and falls under caring duties.

I'm a single parent with a young child so when I give birth, friends will be looking after my son. I have no other option (live abroad so no family in this country). I think given the circumstances it's totally fine. In fact, if the grand-parents are able and willing to keep your two boys for a week or two that'd be even better as that'll give you time to recover.

If your children are isolated and your father is taking basic precautions (washing after coming home, etc) the risk is minimal. The benefit of having your partner there probably outweighs whatever small risks there might be (studies have shown that there are fewer complications when there's a birthing partner).

Thank you all, I really appreciate the advice - i keep going back and forward in my head but ultimately I would prefer to have my dp there as support. As a pp said, the midwives are already going to be stretched so likely won't be able to give the level of 1:1 care they might previously been able to. Will just have to see how everything goes over the next few weeks as guidance can change so quickly. Thanks again for all the replies

As hard as it is, I would not. I think that it's safer for your children if they stay with their father rather than being subjected to the risk of your parents which is still real if your dad is going out in addition to the risk you'll also pose on your return. Half the potential risk is better than double imo.

@Flaxmeadow and what do you think nurses/doctors/other key workers are doing with their children whilst they work 12 hour shifts? Plenty of family members are still going to be performing caring duties in these circumstances. I’m going to work and seeing colleagues and patients all day. Some households have to mix.

Agree with this. I have been in school this week looking after key workers children. I am in my early 50s, my headteacher is 60 and was in the previous two weeks. It is impossible to have social distancing in a primary school, so school staff are being put at risk by mixing with those children, but on balance of risk it is more important that those children are cared for so that their parents can continue to work.

Some people are being ridiculous saying she should give birth alone rather than risk her children passing it on to her perfectly healthy parents.

Hi I would do it, though I would get your children to self isolate pre and take temp etc

All midwives would love to give one in one care but let’s be honest they can’t be there 100% of the time

I would, it is exceptional circumstances and as long as others follow the rules your risk of passing it on is low. I would try to get a 3 hour discharge just because that will mean you don’t even go to the ward and will lower your risk even more.

I’m still going to work every day caring for children in a nursery and I’m in my 50s
It’s no different to the ops parents caring for her dc
I don’t see why anyone should have to give birth alone