'D'H let someone in our house...

[Chilver]

...what do I need to do to make our home safe again?

Absolutely livid, H let a client into the house whilst I was in shower. Client stayed for 20 mins and H maintains they maintained 2m but I find that hard to believe. Have made him bleach every surface in kitchen and front door, open all windows, and wash the dog (he jumped up and was stroked!). H won't change clothes and says I'm overreacting, although I even heard him say to client 'wife is upset you're here as she is in the at risk group'!!! (I am!)

I'm still hiding in bedroom with child. What else can I do to make the house 'safe' again?? (Aside from getting rid of H!)

How old is your child? I think you need to calm down a bit for their sake of nothing else!

If he has bleached surfaces and washed the dog, you should be ok. I would ask him again to change clothes though.

I hope you are ok.

Child 8yo. Don't worry, I am calm on the outside, just furious and upset on the inside!!

I genuinely think you are over reacting a little. The precautions taken are enough although your husband should change clothes and shower if it puts your mind at ease.

Why does your child think you are hiding in the bedroom? That’s probably a more dangerous than anything else.

I actually totally understand. We both work in a hospital and the house is our 'safe space'. I'd be so upset by someone coming into it. But you've done everything you can. Next steps would be to try to make your husband understand why what he did was out of order

YANU. Your poor child! Total over reaction.

I’m sorry, but your ‘D’H is an irremediable moron. How dare he endanger you like that?

Why my 'poor' child? She is 8yo and fully aware if the current situation (in an age appropriate way). She is upset too that her father let someone in the house but neither of us are standing crying and shaking in the bedroom??

And thank you ashmts, that's completely it. I have significant underlying health problems (lung disease and cancer) andbhave spent the past 3 weeks feeling like our house is our safe haven whilst we have been isolating. To go from isolating to this, is well, upsetting!

It’s also an explicit violation of the government’s instructions. Tell him he’ll be reported if he ever thinks of doing it again.

I am sorry but this seems like a total over reaction if you’ve made him clean up as fully as you are claiming. You are more at risk of passing on an extreme amount of anxiety to your child than covid 19 by hiding in the bedroom with her, and I think to use your child against your husband like this is pretty poor parenting, sorry.

How am I using my child against my husband?

If that was ok then the government would let all of us do that so stop telling the op to calm down! I would be totally pissed off if that was my DH. Just bleach surfaces and wash clothes in a pillow case so you don't have to touch them ( as NHS advise)

You have not over reacted.
Your DH has put your life at risk.

Why did he do that?

Does he not believe the risk?
Does he not care?
Could he not say no to client?

He has also caused you extreme stress.

Will he do it again?

The OP has two serious and chronic health conditions that makes her at risk for Covid 19 so enough with the minimizing here-her husband was an idiot to let a client in

Poor kid. Complete overreaction

You're in the vulnerable group and should be able to protect at home. What does he think lockdown means? And then the stay at home
for weeks advice?! It doesn't mean let people-not- in-your-household into your home!!!

You're not over reacting. No one steps over your doorstep.

He's an idiot and putting you at risk.

I don’t think it’s an over-reaction. Yes it’s probably fairly low risk particularly with the precautions you have taken but it’s the fact he’s put you at risk knowing how you felt. I would also be furious.

OK, in terms of risk to you, once the surfaces are cleaned you are safe to go into the areas where the visitor has been.

Your DH has put himself at some risk by being face to face with the client for 20 minutes. The degree of risk depends on whether they really did observe social distancing. If they did, then the risk is small - similar to a supermarket trip.

However he has clearly broken the general rules, and has massively betrayed you by failing to observe the rules for the shielded group, which would be a deal breaker for me.

Is he usually so unredeemably stupid?

💐 for you.

Poor kid. Complete overreaction

With lung disease and cancer, seriously?

Your DH has undermined you twice, once when he let his client in the house and second when he complained to the client about your being upset. I'd be upset about the lack of respect towards you and your health too.

I don't think you are over reacting. You have serious illnesses. I would insist he change his clothes. You've done the right thing in making him clean everything. What an idiot. I have a box in the hallway for my uniform and shower when I get in from work. My house is my sage place too!

I think what you have done is more than enough to make your home safe again.

Wiping the surfaces or door handles that he's touched would have been sufficient, I wouldn't have washed the dog but sometimes it's good to put your mind at rest.
Remember washing your hands and not touching your face is the best thing you can do so as long as you do that you should be fine. Please be careful not to scare your child, they are often more worried than they let on and especially if you are ill anyway. Your husband's an idiot but whats done is done so try and let it go now.