Why is it so hard for people to stay at home

[pissedoffretailworker]

I have just got home from work. It has been manic today! People have queued for hours to come buy crap! I feel like people just aren't listening and are just freely out shopping for all these goods that are not essential. Browsing for over an hour in store and buying goods that we really shouldn't be selling.
This board and my other social media are full of people justifying their need to go buy gardening supplies or paint or walk their dog 6 times a day. As if they are special 🤷🏻‍♀️
Mental health is cited as a reason for people to continue to be selfish and put their own desires first instead of doing what is needed to help the nhs and protect the vulnerable.
I am feeling more and more angry at these people. I wish I could stay at home and keep my children safe. I certainly wouldn't be taking them to the shops to buy crap. My kids have not left the house other than to play in the garden since the 9th of March. I only go to work. I'm lucky in that I have a reoccurring delivery slot from a supermarket and have done for a long time so don't need to go shopping. I know I'm the grand scheme of things I'm better off than some people but I'm so stressed by other people's lack of care. What will it take to get these people to listen?

There was a senior gentleman either interviewed on TV or the radio, don’t remember which. He had to isolate and he was hoping to get paint and gardening supplies to pass the time and do something constructive and get on with some jobs.

It really doesn’t do anyone any good to judge from the outside when we don’t know the inside.

My kids have a large garden with play equipment they have a trampoline, a swing, a slide, water and sand play tables room to use their scooters and bikes and a large grassy area to run around. They are much safer there than the park.

Kate Middleton, is that you?

I actually do not understand some OPs.

Today I was feeling so fucking grateful to live in a nice house, with a nice garden, in a nice area, with nice parks and that we have the sheer fucking privilege to do this God awful lockdown in relative comfort.

OP lists out her own incredible privilege and goes on to castigate the less privileged for struggling with the utter shit sandwich they've been handed.

Christ on a bike. Isn't all this bloody obvious?

Lots of people have a touch of the Marie Antoinettes just now.

It’s like someone goes out for a walk then comments on how so many people were out walking and isn’t it outrageous when everyone should be at home. That person thinks their reason for being out is valid and everyone else’s isn’t. Zero self awareness.

There's a lot of, 'I'm allowed so ner ner ner' out there.

That person thinks their reason for being out is valid and everyone else’s isn’t. Zero self awareness.

This!

Loneliness. I have literally no physical human contact. Until today I hadn't seen another human being for a week as I live so rurally I rarely even see people when out walking.

I'm not saying I'm not complying, I am. But that's why it's 'so hard'.

Try staying in a small flat with no or shared garden/ of varying quality and quantities of dog shit. Having to use communal areas every time you go in or out, can't even sit on the doorstep etc, Dog poo park ( local name for it) with goose shit on the paths and broken glass in the playground. Throw in an autistic child or two, single parenting etc... then wonder why people might be going out to buy crap to get them through.

Plus the excellent post above...(quoted by polly02)

Dp hasn’t been out of the house (he has walked round the garden) for 3 weeks.

He is going off the rails.

His mind is definitely on the way out.

He needs to stay at home but in some respects it is seriously affecting him.

Op you are out of the house working.

When you have tried staying in for a couple of weeks then see how difficult it is.

@oliversmumsarmy can he not do out for a walk. My parents are shielding and my dad still manages a daily isolated walk

*go

I think that the fact we can all go out for daily exercise is the thing that will make the mental health issues better. I went for a run today in London and everybody around me (and me) was super careful not to get close. I am worried they will take this away from us when the majority are complying (I didn’t see one person when I was out not complying)

I don’t think it is the exercise but more the interaction with other people that he is missing.

@oliversmumsarmy yes that is so sad. I completely understand. My parents are suffering that too and call me and my sisters on a daily basis now their social life is gone.

I do find it a bit scary though how much people are monitoring others. As long as people are being sensible and not getting near others then I think the mental health benefits are worth it. I am my experience (although of course I realise is my part of london) is that people are being very distant.

Ufff *From my experience...

I’ve pondered whether I have observed the rules. Last 14 days I’ve been to Tesco once, bought food, an Easter egg and a birthday card. I had three books from ds’ school reading list delivered by Waterstones.
I’ve been cycling/running/out for a walk every day but we are rural so the closest I’ve come while exercising is about 20 metres.

I can live with my conscience so far. I’m sorry you feel so cross OP. We all need to get through this as best we can. I hope you stay safe x

@mintjulia agree.

I agree with most of your points OP. But if you want to get all judgmental and hold the moral high ground then give up your food delivery slots so the vulnerable isolating folks don’t have to go out at all

I've been indoors since the 17th March and only out twice. Once to a funeral of an immediate family member and another to the doctor for blood tests. I'd LOVE to go to a shop but I haven't. My DH has been doing that and just getting essential items but I'm gagging for chocolate and sweets!! I've been going out for walks from my house and back with my toddler but joggers don't make any effort to move aside. I'm heavily pregnant and it's really hard to chase after my child and grab them and move them quick enough. This annoys me! Just saying!

Meant to mention, my mum works in a shop and the same people are coming in 3 or 4 times a day just to get scratch cards. So stupid.

You have a recurring delivery slot when you work in a supermarket and could easily shop there at the end of your shift?

How SELFISH.

@EnthusiasmIsDisturbed Can you not use your imagination just a tiny bit? Your residents have MH difficulties but are housed in a group with each other and staff. They have people to talk to, someone to reassure them or support them when they're struggling, people to interact with. Company. Outdoor space to sit in.

Can you not see how different it is for the many, many people with MH difficulties who are living alone? Whose usual support and human contact be that family, friends or a CPN has now been removed and replaced with phonecalls if they're lucky?

Now faced with the prospect of not being touched, kissed or hugged for weeks or even months. People who usually keep busy and maintain their MH with work and/or or attending groups, going to the gym, socialising with friends or family who now cannot do any of that and are suddenly alone 24/7 within 4 walls with only their (often horrific) thoughts for company?

Or those who didn't have anyone or any activities to begin with but at least spoke to the local shopkeeper every day when buying their paper or sit in the park for a bit in the sunshine?

And now people like you want to chide them for still wanting to go to the shop and see other human beings and escape their lonely hell for half an hour and tell them to not use 'MH as an excuse'.

How very compassionate and understanding from someone working in that field.

Well said NewYear.
This is bringing out the worst in judginess.
I see masses of old people about in the area I live in -of course they 'should' be indoors but loneliness is a real thing for many people and the lack of understanding of the need for people to manage their mental is very dispiriting. Mental Health is if anything MORE important than 'physical' health.

It's bringing out the worst in judgeyness because you're constantly seeing and dealing with people who make flaky and unnecessary exceptions for themselves when the exceptions should really come only from those in exceptional circumstances.

We drove for 10 minutes yesterday to do a 3 hour walk where we saw 2 other people on bikes and that was it. Yes, I could have walked round the garden for 3 hours...but there was no real risk in what we did.

Popping to the shops every day, there’s a risk.