Giving birth alone

[Thekindyoufindinasecondhand]

I have seen many petitions, articles, Instagram posts etc about hospitals enforcing no birth partners in the UK. My hospital where I am due to give birth has told me I can have one birthing partner during active labour only.

This isn't necessarily a thread to debate the rights an wrongs of this (although I'm sure that may happen!) it's is more out of interest are there hospitals in the UK that are saying no birth partners at all for any stages of labour at the moment?

My hospital are currently saying on birth partner in active labour only. One hour visiting for birth partner on post natal.

But subject to change.

This is in the West Midlands/Black Country.

@katnissmellark I'm West Mids too

One birth partner for active labour abs they have to leave when you go to the ward. They're also allowed in theatre for sections. I think all of Wales is the same.

There is a lot of scaremongering going around about what someone's mate's sister got told. The only way to get a true answer is directly from your local hospital or their website.

And no women will be giving birth "alone," there will always be midwives there.

@Thekindyoufindinasecondhand oh really? Is it your first? It's second for me and I had a decent birth first time so trying not to worry about that part too much. Maternity leave could be very different this time though! I'm 30 weeks and know no one else at a similar stage whereas last time I did NCT and had made lots of 'baby friends' before DS even arrived.

I saw on another thread that Kings hospital in London is still allowing partners in for the routine scans, which surprised me.

And no women will be giving birth "alone," there will always be midwives there.

Pedantry at its finest. I think we all know what the OP means.

@sockqueen yes, thanks, aware of all of this which is precisely why I wanted to start this thread as sick and tired of people asking 'am I scared to give birth alone'. If I have to give birth without my husband there then I know I won't be alone.

@katnissmellark yes my first! I'm 24 weeks so who knows what will be in place by the time it comes for me to give birth.
Yes don't think I'll be doing NCT either so I'll be googling non stop and just hope to make some mum friends along the way once baby is here

@SockQueen it's not scaremongering to consider the possibility that this may happen, when it is already a reality in other places. Fr discussions with my midwife, it does seem a possibility that rules may have to be changed again. Additionally if your nominated birth partner has symptoms they will not be able to attend. For me, if DH is ill, I'll probably go it alone as I'm not too worried about doing so anyway, and wouldn't want to bring anyone else into contact with the virus (via me if I also had it, or from hospital), or expose the midwives more than necessary.

Not everyone is hysterical about this, some are just considering the practicalities and being able to talk that through is very helpful- just because it's not the case now, doesn't mean it won't be in the future and being mentally prepared can only be a good thing.

@Thekindyoufindinasecondhandwhat hospital are you at? I'm at Russell's Hall, was for my first as well and the care has always been fab. I'm confident that if I have to give birth without DH it'll be absolutely fine. Not ideal of course, but we are in the midst of a pandemic!

Yes, am also hoping that once things return to normal I can get out and about and make some friends at baby groups etc.

I am coming to terms with that reality. For me it looks like a reality because I'm having to visit hospital twice a week on my own and often staying alone - strictly no one else but pregnant woman allowed in the clinics and on antenatal ward. A birthing partner can attend during active labour or a planned section but I'm likely to need a sudden EMCS when its decided it is time to get baby out during my attendance at one of these hospital visits.

I certainly wouldn't want it changed during this pandemic, it's for everyone's safety and to ensure our baby is born is safest environment possible. But it does still stress me out and upset me, the thought of birthing a preemie alone.

@katnissmellark The women's hospital. Yes feel exactly the same, by no means the ideal situation, but if husband can't be there so be it! Hospital have been faultless so far and had my 20 week scan alone (although not alone as obviously I had a sonographer there haha!) and it was lovely and calm and quiet (didn't tell DH that part though!)

@twittlebee sorry to hear of your situation, can completely understand your worries. It's all well and good giving birth to a baby with no complications without a birth partner but knowing you may be going in there to face more uncertain outcomes is understandably worrying, hope all is okay for you both

I think for many on their second or third babies, it's moot, as their planned childcare of grandma/sibling/friend is no longer available and dad/other parent will have to stay at home anyway. So sad - I went from active labour to 10cm and pushing in an hour so DH would have missed it unless he was sitting in the car park.

I'm also 30 weeks with my first. My hospital have a notice up on their website that 1 birthing partner and limited time after birth only (not sure how long this is).

I had a look at home birth which is still available (Lincolnshire) but too worried if the worst was to happen there wouldn't be an ambulance available so have decided even if I have to give birth alone it will be in hospital.

@ncagainforfeb I just called to check as I have a scan coming up and no partners allowed.

@Thekindyoufindinasecondhand I didn’t gel with my NCT group but made great friends after at baby classes.

My hospital are allowing one birth partner but no one on the wards. Honestly, I'm dreading having to cope alone for the first 24 hours after a section. The staff were amazing last time, but a) DH did all fetching, lifting and carrying during the day and b) surely they'll have lower numbers anyway.

He would be sad to miss the birth, but I'm more worried about the aftermath.

Not due for three months, so hoping things will have eased a little by then.

I just called to check as I have a scan coming up and no partners allowed.

I thought it sounded a bit unlikely!

On the issue of birth partners - I genuinely don't see why it's safer for anyone not to allow them there. If you live with your DH and he doesn't have the virus, then he should be allowed in. If he does have the virus then it's almost certain that you do too, so what difference does it make?

There are also studies to show that women giving birth "alone" (and by that I mean with no family or partner present, for all the pedants on this thread) are more likely to suffer traumatic and difficult births - which ultimately cost the NHS more money to deal with.

I agree with everything Birthrights has to say on the matter:

www.birthrights.org.uk/wp-content/uploads/2020/03/Final-Covid-19-Birthrights-31.3.20.pdf

It looks like there were a few trusts that had banned birthing partners altogether but have since overturned this and are now limited to 1 person during active labour, like I think most trusts are doing at the moment www.google.com/amp/s/www.independent.co.uk/news/uk/home-news/coronavirus-pregnant-women-birth-hospital-nhs-parents-advice-a9439391.html%3Famp

I think one hospital in Ireland has also banned birthing partners altogether but that's all I could find for now. Hopefully the restrictions can be lifted soon! www.google.com/amp/s/www.bbc.co.uk/news/amp/world-europe-52071033

I feel sorry for those women who fell through the cracks and had to give birth alone, only for their trust to overturn the decision days later.

Yes there's a pandemic going on but we still need to give birth - you can't put a baby on pause!

Yep that must have been extremely upsetting for many, and also for the Fathers who missed out on their child being born. A special moment that they'll never be able to get back.

I'm glad awareness is being raised around the issue so they can check whether it really is necessary to do so.

So I actually ended up giving birth yesterday via EMCS. Husband made it in time just as they were starting to wheel me to theatre. It is a shame because if it wasnt for C19, he would have already been at my side and I wouldnt have had to go through that emotional toll of being told "we are taking you to theatre now" alone.

Everyone is very full on with their PPE and we even needed to wear it during theatre. Last time we didnt need to wear face masks but this time we both did.

NICU is hard too, only 1 named parents is allowed to visit NICU and that has to stay as the same person throughout baby's NICU stay so DH only met baby briefly.

Congratulations TwittleBee hope you’re both doing well

Congratulations @TwittleBee I’m so glad your DH was able to get there in time. Hope you and baby are doing well! ❤️