Dying alone

[SouthWestmom]

I'm genuinely horrified at reports of people dying alone due to infection potential. It seems so inhumane. The latest is a child - what is being stored up in terms of mental health and emotional damage? I don't know the accuracy of this ; I can't understand this being the best or only course of action.
Does anyone have a better understanding of the reality from experience of the wards or hospitalisation processes?

I couldn't wrap my head around the child being alone either. Surely they could give a patent protective clothing to be with him? I feel like I would demand to be in the room, I wouldn't care about exposure if my child were dying. I can't imagine being forced to be separated from them. I just can't imagine what their parent must be going through. It's awful.

Isn't it odd if there's a chance, once infected, that symptoms will be mild? Unless things are worse than they're telling us (ie 1 more deadly strain?).

I'm trying so hard not to share fake news or sensationalist stuff or give in to panic.
But you're right - how could you live with that? I feel like I need to say something to my kids just in case but i know that would be a terrible idea.

The family of the 13-year-old who died reported that he was alone due to the infection, but I doubt that's the full story. I just can't imagine a hospital stopping a parent from seeing their dying child (if they knew he was dying). I think there's more to it.

Something is very, very wrong if children are going to be dying alone

We are being told that 1 parent is allowed to be with their child and presumably the family of the 13 y o who sadly passed away had been with him anyway before admission so had been exposed ? Being with him after that wouldn’t have raised their risk further ?

I saw that story about the child earlier. So heart-breaking. But I don't understand it, as I saw a woman on the news earlier who said she'd been allowed to say goodbye to her mum, but had to wear full protective gear. Perhaps it depends on whether the individual hospital actually has the gear?

I really hope by family they mean wider famil y maybe. Otherwise it's just appalling.

I suspect that the parent was with the child but maybe nipped to the loo or to get coffee. There is fairly strong evidence that people often 'chose' to die alone, even if someone is sitting with them

Yes, coronavirus patients are dying alone and it's fucking horrific. It also impacts people with other illnesses. I can't see my terminally ill mother as the nursing home won't allow it. I may get in for 10 minutes when she's on her deathbed. We're not at that point just yet but restrictions could go on for months. She's so upset and scared.

I saw that too and it’s really hit hard.
I guess because I have a 13 year old myself.
The only think I thought of is that, they mentioned the father had died recently to cancer but maybe the mother couldn’t be there due to having symptoms herself? Then she’d have no choice, they wouldn’t have allowed her to the hospital at all?

Depends on the hospital. Visitor hours are limited because they don’t want people catching it. There aren’t enough protective kits for the staff to keep changing to see patients more than twice per 12 hour shift. My father in law died alone from Corona two days after being admitted. We are heart broken and hurting for him. But nobody wanted to hear that they should social distance and only leave their houses for essential reasons two weeks ago. Took a long time to drill in it was to protect the vulnerable from catching it. How many more people will die alone needlessly? Fucking haunts me.

I’ve just read it. I don’t understand, I thought children specifically weren’t going in to hospital by themselves

Poor child, and his poor family

There is no way in a million years my child would die alone. I would literally break in if they tried to stop me. Who cares if I get it after that!

Parents are different as I wouldn't want to pass to my children. But they love my children more than anything so would understand. I hope.

The hospital I work in has excellent end of life care & we’ve been told today that all end of life patients (Including covid 19 positive) are able to have someone with them when dying. Where possible no one will die alone & PPE will be provided for relatives. They did say most covid 19 positive patients that die alone do so as relatives aren’t able to attend due to self isolating themselves, feeling too scared or just not making it in time.
Hopefully this policy will continue.

www.theguardian.com/world/2020/mar/31/boy-13-die-london-after-testing-positive-for-coronavirus?CMP=fb_gu&utm_medium=Social&utm_source=Facebook&fbclid=IwAR0qvGb6ANfTo_r7OfXgwNn-tRZXvvnwmOvEOmo_vQ2oZoGfvzICxIKDmTU#Echobox=1585684514

He was in a medically induced coma. Still horrifically sad though.

I really hope someone can explain this because even the thought of it is devastating. I also don't understand why family would be more at risk staying in hospital with them when they've all lived together and ran the risk of infection.

@Offredismysister my mother in law went home to have some food and went back. She was told she had already had her visiting hours for the day so wasn’t allowed back in. FIL died 8 hours later. I’m really glad policy is starting to change, well done to your hospital

@TheMagiciansMewTwo It's not so much the risk to the family, it's the risk the (potentially infected) family could pose to the staff and patients in the hospital by being there for long periods.

And this is a hospital trust that has banned all other visiting including in maternity. There are limitations, don’t get me wrong, only one visitor, no swapping & only if patients are definite end of life. The problem they may have, I think, is that patients often deteriorate rapidly so relatives may not make it in time. But, for once I actually feel reassured that they are trying.

I find this so upsetting, I can't bear it. If my child died I'd prob want to die too so there's no way I wouldn't be in that room with him.

My friend's mum is currently in hospital with covid-19 and has been told today it's touch and go but she's not allowed to see her. It's so utterly shit and heartbreaking.

I think, as has previously been stated, it's down each individual trust. Also, they barely have enough PPE for the health workers who are of a higher priority on a hospital ward, sorry, but it's true.

That's reassuring it's not a blanket policy. It's so frightening; I don't think I would recover from leaving my child alone to die. It was awful when we were separated in different circumstances (medical) and he was distraught.

Agree it's horrific if true. I would absolutely force my way in - as I'm sure most parents would. What are the authorities going to do? The worst has already happened

I don’t think dying alone is a new thing though. Most end of life patients I have looked after in a hospital have died alone except for nursing staff checking up on them. We phone the families when they die obviously. Families don’t often want to be with a dying relative.

That's very sad stairway none of our family have died alone when we knew they were dying thank goodness.