Dying alone

[SouthWestmom]

I'm genuinely horrified at reports of people dying alone due to infection potential. It seems so inhumane. The latest is a child - what is being stored up in terms of mental health and emotional damage? I don't know the accuracy of this ; I can't understand this being the best or only course of action.
Does anyone have a better understanding of the reality from experience of the wards or hospitalisation processes?

Both of my parents died 4 years ago. On each occasion I was with them for about 18 hours a day during the prior week, but they both died during the short period of time I wasn’t there. I think this isn’t unusual and patients often chose to die alone to spare their loved ones. I don’t know the facts in this case though and my heart goes out to the family.

Disney thank you for reposting that.

I wanted to just think out loud and also see what the 'real' information was when posting this, not to scare people in a 'read it on FB way'

The family statement says he couldn't have family close by - that's the part that worried me and connected with other local newspaper stories of people dying alone. I tried to ask on the web chat about this (all ages) and any policy with the dCMO but the question wasn't answered.

@chipotleBlessing The Guardian article I've read doesn't say anything about him dying alone

Here. It could mean I suppose that they chose to stay away (he was in a coma) rather than were mandated to do so.

I missed it to the first time I read it. It’s in a paragraph beneath an advert at the bottom.

But I think I wanted to just know what the processes were /might be in order to cope better with worry.
I don't want to speculate on this child's death beyond knowing he was reportedly alone due to covid19 infection an whether that was standard.

Thank you. I would be shocked if the parents were banned from seeing him, I don't believe that. But then why would you not be in the same room as your dying son? Unless at a PP suggested they popped out and he died whilst they were gone. So sad

Children will not be allowed to die alone either they didn't get there in time or chose not to go - the press report things that are not 100% accurate .. we do know for sure how this boy died (was only yesterday) too early to tell if he didn't have any underlying conditions.

Patients who are dying in these circumstances will be unconscious and will not know whether their families are there at the end, or not.
"Going to say goodbye" is more for the benefit of the bereaved than the dying person.

I don't know what has happened in this case but I do know someone with the virus who is currently in ICU. They have not been allowed any family with them. They have adult DCs and a partner but no-one has been allowed to see them even when they were just in an ordinary ward prior to their condition deteriorating. The family have also been asked not to call too often for updates.
Tbh I have been so worried about my friend's health, I hadn't really taken enough time to process how awful it is that they're alone.
I also don't know if the policy is the same for DCs or not.

I read this had been referred to the coroner, I also read that he died WITH the virus, which may mean he didn’t die of the virus. I know he may have, but I think the media are running with this before theres a full story.

@Remmy123 Yes that is true

It's a scary sad new world magician that we seem to have emerged into. I'm sorry for your friend.

Does anyone know why this has been referred to the coroner? Seeing as he had no other health problems, why would this be necessary?

Because the fact that he died suggests that there were other health problems, albeit ones that hadn’t been identified during his life.

At the hospital my sister works at they do allow someone to be with the patient at the end although sometimes it happens too suddenly for someone to get there.

Isn't this the reason some people have been refusing to go to hospital in Italy and want to die with family at home.

I have to be honest, they would have to physically remove me with the police to prevent me being at my son's side. I'm all he has, he is all I have in this world.

It's all very well saying you should be with your child in this situation, but what if you're a single parent and have other, possibly younger, children. Say you call an ambulance in the middle of the night because your child is very unwell. If the ambulance needs to take them to hospital and you have a house full of young children, what are you going to do?

I am sure the news said that he was in a coma. Perhaps that's why there was no one with him? Not that they hadn't beeen able to be with him at all.

Yes that's very true and a scenario I hope no one ever has to make!

Gammeldragz

Absolutely

A friend of mine had a poorly child in hospital and had to leave them for chunks of time to look after her other child

It was very hard for all of them

My mum died in hospital and my dad had popped out for something to eat and my brother to get her a little something...they both felt so guilty but there was nothing they could do and they’d been by her bedside for days in my dads case

This child had other siblings, and only one living parent.
He was in a medically-induced coma.
He died in the early hours of the morning.

That he was alone when he died is very sad, but not strange or suspicious.

@RufustheLanglovingreindeer They say that quite often the person will wait for their loved ones to leave the room before they die.

Well she didn’t sodding wait for me to leave poppi

Bloody typical of my mum lord love her!

(She even waited for dh and ds1 (17months) to leave)

That he was alone when he died is very sad, but not strange or suspicious

It is very sad for the family, its very hard

I have been told that rels can attend a dying patient but they must sign a disclaimer form and then self isolate, not sure if this relates to covid positive patients though.